I lost
£40 it turned up in my pocket the same pocket that i checked only 2 minutes previously - damn odd.
My will to live
All trace of sanity
Pointless post
(weefreemen102, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 15:18, Reply)

Mobile, but got it back
my old mobile had one of those cover things from the Royal Marines Souvenir shop, with a piccy of a Soldier with an SA-80 on the back.

Pretty distinctive, me living in Hong Kong and all, where there is a noticable lack of Royal Marine Souvenir Shops. Anyway, I digress.

On a school camp thingy, got up and rumaged around in my big fuckoff rucksack for my stuff so I could go on a hike. I notice, with no small amount of worry, that the pocket with my mobile in it was open. Mobile gone.

So, I'm a bit pissed. I suddenly see someone at the end of the dormitory, the little shiftly git who no-one trusts. I go over to him and see that he's playing with a very very familiar mobile phone.

"Nice Phone." says I. He keeps quiet, the little shit. I asked him if I could see it. He gives it to me, and lo and behold, it is indeed my phone.

So, I cover the back with my hand and ask what the picture was on the back. To his credit, he did answer correctly. So I pop the cover and check that my name is inside. It was. I show it to him, and the impudent little bastard says "So?".

"So" I decked the scantimonious little fucker.

Seriously, theft is becoming a big problem.

I blame rappers like 50 cent.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 14:16, Reply)

I lost my temper with...
...Richard Branson. Whilst in a pub, he came and sat with my friend and me, quite uninvited, and started boasting about all his money. "You're not Richard Branson," I said, suspiciously. "I am," he answered, looking most hurt. "Oh yeh - then where's your fucking beard?" At this point he became nasty and agressive and rose to his feet. I stood up too and, in light of the fact that a) he was taller than me and b) I am a girl, I decided to get the first punch in. My moment of glory - his surprise coupled with his drunkeness meant that he sailed through the air and landed against the wall. I felt like Superwoman, until the Landlord came over and asked what was going on. I then changed tack and cried a bit, saying that he had tried to touch me up. Richard was hurled bodily from the pub to raucous laughter.

I suspect it wasn't really Richard at all. He always seems quite nice.
( thealternativefact, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 14:00, Reply)

MY HERMIT CRABS!
Well they were my sisters and we lost them somewhere in the house when I let them out of their tank. I also killed her fish with Dettol, but I was 4 at the time so it doesn't matter.
(keleamades, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 13:57, Reply)

Another lost boxers/condom story...
Went on tour with sports team to spain. 26 painful hours on coach. Met lovely young lady, went back to her room to get jiggy, interrupted by the return of other roommates. Her suggestion to wait until they were asleep before creating the beast with two backs. Halfway through she's making far too much noise (such a ego boost), so i decide (In my drunken deluded state) that finishing off on the balcony overlooking the pool would be a much better idea. job done, return to bed, minus 1 condom, no idea where it went, but far to pissed to care. Morning arrived, everyone woke up, 20 minutes before coaches left. Could i find my boxers, could i buggery. Ran to hotel, grabbed hastily packed bag and caught the coach home. 26 hours of sitting there commando, smelling of the night before. But not as bad as the footballers at the back of the coach.

few months later, visted said girl, and during the drinking game of 'i have never' it was revealed the girls in the room had discovered said boxers in the room, and a nice little package left on the balcony. The shame...
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 12:47, Reply)

Not me, but a legend in my hometown ...
whose name must remain clouded in mystery due to the fact that he's a big time lawyer now and would sue my arse off ... lost his car.

Mr. X showed up at a party one evening and was right pissed by the time we left. The story goes he kept on imbibing the amber liquid many hours before attempting to drive home.

The police dropped X off at his home ca. 6-8 hours after his departure, giving his family their condolences: They had found him stark naked in the middle of the motorway crying his eyes out and telling them he was out of his head because the IRA had killed his brother.

It took the family about another week to find the car, which was parked in a suburb maybe 10-15 km from the motorway.

NB - X lives in New Zealand, has NO BROTHER, and, as far as I know, no family at all living in Ireland or England ... no bloody wonder he's such a cunting good lawyer!
( Ebay_is_"be"_in_Pig_Latin, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 12:25, Reply)

Can you keep a secret?
My wife was away for the weekend, and my 2 year old decided to go looking for her. Cue much sphincter tightening horror as I notice the front door wide open after coming in from the garden. Thankfully a kindly old lady had found him strolling down the road and I promptly burst into tears. We don’t tell mummy!
(martinator, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 11:58, Reply)

odd
few months back i popped into town for a few brews with some friends. Being a bit bored on the bus, i took my nice new 300 quid mp3 player with me.

On the way home, i wasnt bored (others came back wioth me). Got off the bus and then realised "fuck, i had a bag didnt i?"

Contents of bag:
1 £300 mp3 player (never to be seen again)
1 small bag of weed (also, not seen again)
1 small bag of pubic hair, in a clear plastic bag with a stamp and address label on (2 weeks later turned up at my mates house in sheffield CUNTS!)

phoned the bus depot up and explained the contents to them. Nada. Bag never seen again... obviously the gits that took it decided to rub it in by posting the bag of pubes...
(pissycocks GIRAFFETASTIC!, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 11:16, Reply)

A bit off topic but hey
I was once with this lovely girl , and she had a bracelet from her dead mother that she ADORED. She had never taken it off in like 10 years.
Well one day we are in bed and then she says: "Where is my bracelet?" . Sure enough it was not on her hand.

I fucking almost panicked ( ok I paniced) , expecting a river of tears , cries,screams etc. . So I stand up nakkid ( it was our first time sleeping over hokay? ) and stand bending over to look under the furniture.

After 5 minutes of frantic , and I mean FRANTIC , searching I realise that she hasn't even come out of bed.

I ask what is wrong , to which she replies , that loosing it was worth it just for the sight of me running around nakkid bending over anything over 1meter tall.Then she laffed for a couple of hours. And I sexed her for a couple of hours.

We where together for a couple of months. I think she loved me. I broke her heart with a sledgehammer.

SORRY PAT!
(I didn't do it, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 11:10, Reply)

Underwear
I take great pride in my ability to properly use a urinal, as not many of my fellow girls know how to do this (yes, it is anatomically possible for us to stand back and use a urinal like a guy instead of hovering over it and spattering like a UFO from the planet wee-wee... it just requires not being afraid of handling yourself).

In areas where I am unlikely to be caught, I will sometimes go into the mens' restroom and use the urinals there, as the womens' restrooms seldom have them. I have to be very careful doing this, as I am rather feminine, and even a highly drunk person would have trouble mistaking me for a guy.

When I was first learning to use a urinal, I had to completely remove my underpants (I later learned to work around this). Because I tend to wear skirts, which have no pockets, it appeared that the most convenient place for temporary underpants storage was my head, since as a urinal-using beginner I needed both hands free.

Naturally, when in the mens' restroom, I tended to hurry, as being caught in the mens' restroom with my underwear on my head and my skirt hitched up using the urinal was not something I aspired to.

One day, my mom and I were at a restaurant meeting a friend of hers from out-of-state. The restaurant was fairly uncrowded, so I decided it was a good day to practice using a urinal. Of course, that day was the ONE DAY when my underwear had to fall off my head... and into the urinal. I decided that the urinal cookie probably wasn't making things clean enough, and abandoned my underwear (I have to wonder about their eventual fate... what is restaurant policy on panties left in a urinal?).

For the rest of the visit, I was fairly squirmy. My mom finally asked me what was wrong, to which I answered "It's that time of the month and I've lost my undies." Needless to say, the visit ended shortly afterward. My mom is wonderful... she didn't even ask how I managed to lose my underwear in a restaurant.
( jujuzarf, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 10:17, Reply)

Wallet
An auspicious loss perhaps? (for the better I hope).

Just passed through the metal detector on the way to Fiji to get married and I'm collecting my bits and bobs. Get to the first of the duty free shops to buy a spiffy set of headphones when I realise I've misplaced my wallet.

Some cnut has followed me up out of the detector and had taken my wallet out of the obviously *NOT THEIR'S* metally stuff tray.

Wife-to-be is in tears looking at me as if I've ruined the whole wedding already (my front door key and credit card are in it!). I'm talking to the customs guys, looking at the security camera above and wondering why the rewind button is too much cnuting effort to press. Bastids!!!

We give up, get on the plane and a shadow of doom leaps gleefully up and down on my shoulders. Then an angel hops onto the plane just as the door is about to shut and hands me my wallet. She gets a big kiss and all is well with the world.

Without any cash in the wallet the wakner has left it at a cafe. Hope you get caught by interpol or someone theify type!!!

Then I lost layers of skin to the Fijian sun followed by many braincells having to watch 80's movies whilst it rained for 4 days.

Soz for length.
(Rubberband_in_Oz, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 6:31, Reply)

Lifelikeandposeable's
I lost his hate inspiring post.
(Rubberband_in_Oz, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 6:09, Reply)

consciousness
at a party when I was 16, in the back garden after skulling too much vodka. Woke up at 3am in the bushes to the sound of grunting. Looked up to see two people standing above me hard at it.
(Flicker the Cat, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 2:54, Reply)

lost/stolen
Eleventh grade. Left my wallet in my first period physics class.
The wallet contained over two hundred dollars. it was my pay from my first real job. I was going to stop off at the bank after school, but well..
I come back not five minutes later and it's gone. *somebody* in the second period class had taken it. It takes a special kind of person to just walk off with somebody else's wallet, when the wallet's rightful owner is standing there in front of them. I don't get some people.
The people at that school were really unbelievable. Most were rich, too. That's what killed me. I doubt they'd *need* my money, you know.
Another time, I thought I'd lost my sunglasses. Turned out that somebody had walked off with them...one of my people saw the guy wearing them at lunch. They were these one-of-a-kind bright orange shades I'd gotten from another country. How could you ever expect to get away with that? They might as well have had my name printed on them.
The same thing happened to my sister, only it was a ring which literally had her and her boyfriend's name written on it. The thief couldn't even wear the ring. It was too small for her.

I think that kleptomania is a bigger problem than we think.
And I do not believe in karma. No way.
(fantastic german, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 1:46, Reply)

Jesus
I've lost my housekey and I'm the last one up, meaning I now have a choice between sitting up till 6am and my dad gets up or going to bed and hoping like fuck there are no opportunist thieves/rapists/paedophiles/Jehovah's Witnesses in the area.

(Also, I've just sat and watched about 12 episodes of Chewin' the Fat, so when I read these entries I can hear them all in my mind in the voices of Jack and Victor. It's quite funny really...)
(SusK, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 0:48, Reply)

My weed stash
I don't suppose anyone who was at the party last night knows where it is, do they?
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 0:31, Reply)

my mp3 stash
4 years of mp3s. Including some live from radio1 broadcasts, particuarly miss live at stives.
Fucking raid1.
--
also 'lost' an Sun E450 to someone who hasn't paid me for it... i liked that computer cos it had wheels on it...
(The_artist_formally_known_as_alz0r, Tue 7 Dec 2004, 0:22, Reply)

not me but sonmeones about to lose his home.
he's a racist psycho and we're having him evicted.
(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 23:40, Reply)

Someone I loved...
...through no fault of my own.

Fucksocks!
( dan j the filthy bastard, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 22:14, Reply)

Stolen gum
When I was about nine I shoplifted for the fist time. It was a pack of gum that I really wanted, but knew my dad wouldn't buy me, so I pocketed it as he was in the checkout.

Much later, I looked for it in my pocket, and it was gone. I searched the sofa, and walked around the house a bit, but no luck.

Later, my dad heard an odd noise coming from his dog's bed. He discovered his golden retriever happily chomping on my bubble yum.

My first dose of theives' karma, I guess.
( Rob T Firefly talked, like, William Shatner, on, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 21:57, Reply)

A small chunk of my right hand
Went missing around November 11, 1999 in the morning outside Mr Davisons art room at High Tunstall School, Hartlepool. Whoever was the caretaker that day in the corridor mopping up the big puddle of blood that I'd lost musta swept up my missing bit of my hand (about 1.5 cm squared). It is greatly missed, and I still have the scar.

...Check out *near death experiences* for the story
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 21:01, Reply)

I am rapidly losing
my patience for 56k dialup its so bastard frigging slow i'd throw my computer out the window if i werent getting broadband on thursday
(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 20:44, Reply)

My foot
Monday last, I woke up in the middle of the night with cramp in my leg. I move it around a bit, and find that I could't feel my foot; It was dead cold, white and stationary. I slapped it a good few times, and it most certainly didn't feel like my foot. When I still couldn't wiggle my toes, I thought (in half-asleep state) 'I can live without it', and went back to sleep.

It was back the next morning, anyway. That was a terrible anecdote, but I suppose I just wanted to have said 'I lost my foot'.
(Turnipton, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 20:40, Reply)

100% FACT
As a young'un, I caught the bus home from school. Sat down, took my bag off then later got off the bus. Just as the bus shut the doors, I realised I didn't have my bag. I turned around and banged on the door, only to see the bus driver flick the V's and drive away.

Went to the bus depo but never found my bag. Gutted.
( Jalu, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 20:30, Reply)

I lost myself once
as a small child I was up in the caveyhill with my dad and my sister, and I went wandering off.
After a bit I realised I was lost and started crying (I was only a small child after all) after a bit these german toursits happened along and they explained that they were also lost (looking back, perhaps this was a ruse)
"Lost?" I said "That's all right, I know the way" Said I, and I led them down the path through the woods, and when we got onto the main road we discovered a number of police cars as a large scale search had been called out for me.

oops
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 19:46, Reply)

Not me but....
My mate who lives down the hall is always loosing her damn door keys. We gave her one of those annoying key finders that beep all the time, suprise suprise she lost that! so we brought her a keyring that is bigger than my hand, she used it for two days before being laughed at, she took it off, and lost it. So we are now back to square 1. Luckily we have found a way of getting in her room without a key.... a cut up plastic bottle. Yes the locks are poo.
(VodkaMargarine When there is no Brandy Butter..., Mon 6 Dec 2004, 19:22, Reply)

if I looking for frog
him name is hopkin green frog


Love,
Terry

P.S. I'll find my frog

Who took my frog
Who found my frog
2012 15th AVE. S

EDIT: Dammit, if it didn't show up in the first five pages... Mine's better, though.
(Random Ferret, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 18:38, Reply)

socks
all teh socks.
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 18:35, Reply)