I have phoned in sick!
I know you're all thinking "You don't seem sick to me..."
But honestly, I'm aching and shivering, my throat is on fire, swallowing hurts, my yock tastes of grass and the mere thought of gettting in the shower or leaving the house almost made me cry.

Now I've rung in, I feel slightly better, but I know that if I rung up and said "I feel slightly better" I'll feel desperately ill again.
So I'll just lie here under these layers and blankets, bothering you lot all day.

What ails thee?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 9:21, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gosh I feel like a plank.
For days now I've been doing battle with the xpelair fan in my bathroom as it was, (I mistakingly thought), making a loud intermittent whining noise. I've hoovered it to clear the crap out of it, sprayed it with WD40 and generally faffed about but the noise still remained. Last night I took off the front again, disconnected the wiring and still I could hear whining.

I stuck my ear to the bloody thing and realised the noise wasn't coming from there but the toilet cistern underneath.

I've lost the screws to the front fan cover because I thought I'd be getting a new one and I can't remember where the wires go to get the thing up and running again.

Doh!

Oh and the question is, how should I punish myself for being a dopey cow?
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 8:38, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning/evening internets.
My room mate is giving his girlfriend the special grown up hugging of a life time. I am drowning out the quite frankly unnhuman noises by listening to other unhuman noises in the form of girls aloud and sampling some of BC's finest bud.

What are you lot up to then?
( wanderlust, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 7:03, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Heeheee!
Last night, I was bemoaning to the boyfriend that I'm broke until Wednesday as I'm waiting for a funds transfer from one account to the other.
I'd also mentioned I was fucking starving and will be eating ramen noodles for the next few days (never mind that I've got a freezer full of trout, sausage, bacon, hamburgers etc).

This morning, he told me to meet him at hte pub at lunchtime. He'd gone grocery shopping, and also did a little shop for me too and got me the usual staples of bread, milk and eggs, but also a steak, sandwich stuff, potatoes, a couple tins of veggies, catfood etc!

I thought it was very sweet, but I did feel a bit guilty especialy when he refused to take payment from me :)

What's made your day?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 4:53, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The reason I don't like HSH threads, is that once one is posted, the rest of the board is completely static.
People think that no other threads are good enough, now if you could all please stop having casual conversation that I'm not interested in, with an irelivent arbatory question... and talk about how such a gosh-darn swell sweetheart I am, I would apprechate it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 21:43, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HSH


I have an interview tomorrow and I am absolutely shitting it. I know I can do the job, it's the interview part I hate.

Distract me? Tell me of the songs that make you cry. Or laugh.
( Maladicta, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 19:21, 90 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Xmas
When was the last decent Xmas song?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 19:15, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Argue about films instead of music for a change
I'm wondering what to watch tonight since there's f-all on TV that I haven't seen already.

Wot I have downloaded:
- Star Trek (the new one - supposed to transcend the traditional star trek geekiness and be quite amusing))
- Looking for Eric (the year's must-see if reviews are to be believed)
- The Anvil story (bound to be a bit funny, although I despise hair metal, even in a comedy/ironic context)
- 40 year old virgin (some people say I must watch it, some people say it's utter garbage, some say it's a bit weak but tolerable.. everone has an opinion..hmmm)
- Punch drunk love (obscure indie I saw bigged up somewhere - no idea about it really)
- Baisees volees (old French B&W directed by the almighty Truffaut)

Actually I might just go to the pub but I'm feeling bored enough to post about my films. I'll get around to watching one soon I'm sure.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 19:08, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes, that's right, <s>Al</s> Becky, DiT, Roo-oooooOo0o0o-ter, Clendrix, Vipros, and all you other people living decent honest furfilled lives....
For I have joined your ranks, welcome me into your boosom, as one of your own. For I am a man who has full ownership of his very own Griddle Pan.

I was so excited by the lovely potential scorch marks, that I decided to semi-invent a recipy.

A sandwich bag filled with....
- Salmon with skin (skin side up to begin with, then proper way 'round so the skin can crisp up).
- Honey
- Seaseme Seeds
- Spring Onion
- Seaseme Oil
- Extra Rich Soy Sauce
... all marrinading now (I don't think I've ever maronaded something before). It'll go with new baby potatos, in some steamy bag thing with butter and 'erbs. And Asparagous that'll be lovely scorchy griddled.

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY.

Only thing was, as having the self restrant of a child with a wallet, it came to £50, because I just had to have some lovely jeans, and a couple of other bits.... Ok, I had half the sauce bits at home, but I didn't know that =(. It best be the best meal of my life evah and evah.

Please don't point out that I could of had lobster and fois gras at claridges for that price.

Edit: Sorry Al, you let the team down, you let yourself down, and most importantly, you let me down. You're outta here, Becks, go getchem gurl.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 18:27, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Free gift
Anyone want a fucking superb t shirt? It's the cover of Hawkwind's Space Ritual on a black medium sized shirt. My lovely sister bought it for me but it is too small and I've fannyed around so long I can't return it now....

If you want this shirt, tell me why.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 17:05, 57 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So have your say is fun isn't it?
newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?sortBy=2&forumID=7314&edition=1&ttl=20091207160040&#paginator

"What should be cut and what taxes should be raised?" is today's question, and there's the usual well thought out responces from knowlegable people.
What public spending would you cut if you had some big metaphorical scissors?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:03, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Now then you filthy alcoholics.
Does anybody have any knowledge when it comes to Scotch Whisky?
I'm looking for a sampler kit from perhaps the different regions or different distilleries, but hours of searching have been fruitless.

Any advice on Scotch in general would be helpful.
(TheColonel, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:30, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm in foul form.
Everyone I see today is a cunt. I can't decide if it's because I'm tired or because everyone I see is actually a cunt. The woman who sat opposite me on the train talking loudly into her phone in a cockney accent? Cunt. The guy on the bus who smells of febreeze and cigarette smoke? Cunt. The hundreds of people walking past me? Cunts, the lot of them.

Vent about annoying fuckers here. And I probably hate you too, by the way.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 15:29, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This was a good waste of 10 minuites.
www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-50-best-protest-signs-of-2009
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 14:03, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My office if far too hot!
I'm sweating like a blind lesbian at a fish market here! It's really starting to piss me off! Dumb heating system! In the morning it's fucking freezing come mid afternoon and it feels like a sauna in here.

Is there any small thing that is pissing you off right this second that you want to share?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 13:45, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OH GOD! OH JESUS CHRIST!
Proof, as if it were ever needed, that drugs are really, really fucking bad.

As this isn't /links, lt's have a question to go with this horrific article. What have you done that you thought would be romantic, but instead made you look like a tool?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 12:43, 127 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Amusing and stupid in equal measure
www.myfoxla.com/dpp/news/local/south-park-ginger-calabasas-school-attacks-20091121

my favourite bit is this:
'The term "ginger" comes from a "South Park" episode first aired in 2005 that satirized racial intolerance, but did not use the term "kick a ginger day."'

that's right, South Park coined the term 'ginger' in 2005
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 12:33, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I met Henry Winkler on Saturday
And he is lovely.
He told me to give my nana a hug from him.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 10:47, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's December so we're allowed to talk about Christmas now
I've always hated Christmas - the full-on 5 senses assault of tat, the fact that it starts before Halloween, Noddy fucking Holder, the tasteless morons who smother their houses with gigawatts of bulbs and the even more tasteless morons who come to look at it, Noddy fucking Holder again, the fact that it is used to shift anything from chocolate to wardrobes to dildos. And Noddy fucking Holder.

Having left the UK for a civilized nation, I find it isn't like that here. It's done in a tasteful and understated fashion. It's much more a social occasion rather than a turbo-consumerist crapfest. So, to my amazement, and for the first time in my life, I find myself quite enjoying the prospect of Christmas. And Radio Wien has only played Noddy fucking Holder once to my hearing.

What have you found yourself reconsidering recently?
(ragged, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 10:24, 87 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

'sup bitches
Anybody else fix a shed roof this weekend then?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 9:01, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My son is turning 20 tomorrow.
I'm going to get him a six pack of non-alcoholic beer, so he can celebrate being not quite 21 with some not quite beer. And I'm thinking of asking one of his friends to show up in a dress so he can share it with a not quite girl.

EDIT: we are also getting him a box of cake mix (not quite cake) and sticking crayons to the top (not quite candles). I may also get him a National Geographic DVD (not quite movie) and a Pat Boone CD (not quite music).

What twisted thing has given you the giggles today?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 22:30, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Someone mentioend a griddle pan on here a few days ago.
And it's subtally been eating at my unconscious thoughts until I have the sudden urge to get, to the point where I'm going to crack tomorow and get one.

Oh man, I can't wait to griddle some asparagous and salmon, with some boiled new potatos, and a nice sweet chilli sauce.

I'd have some of that tonight, but that bitch clendrix is forcing me to have thai later.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 17:28, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pointless course
Ive been booked on a course at work to 'familiarise the external staff with the manufacturing processes of xxxxxx Ltd'.
The first day consists of 1/2 a day of 'Learning the uses and application of measuring equipment' and 1/2 a day of 'ISO 9001/2 procedures'.

I'm a RR trained toolmaker - close-tolerance measuring equipment was a daily part of my working life for 11 years.
In the job I had for 7 years before I joined xxxxxx Ltd I set up, ran and audited ISO quality control systems in several of our Eastern European suppliers.

I'm really not looking forward to next week. I'm likely to give the 'external facilitators' (most of whom weren't born by the time I finished my apprenticeship) a real hard time - I can see a meeting regarding my attitude looming on the horizon.

Anyone else had to participate in fucking pointless training courses at their work? Or is it just my fucking luck to be landed with a week of mind-crushing boredom in the name of 'Investing in people'.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 15:55, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Quick question to the internets:
I brought my g/f a cup of tea, and she asked me whats the drinking equivalent of "nom nom nom" ?

I'm stumped, you?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 14:16, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

German Christmas markets.
"Archaeologists have found evidence of mass cannibalism at a 7,000-year-old human burial site in south-west Germany, the journal Antiquity reports."
Is that why their salami is so pricey then?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 13:28, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I woke up in a police station
I was told I was being made redundant last week and last night was a works do. I was a bit pissed when I turned up, hit the bar when I got there and was arrested by midnight. Do I win the award for being the most stupid twat in the world today?
( no longer a user, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 9:57, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home!

driving mrsblaireau to work this morning i could see barely a leaf on any tree.
not frosty today but definitely brrrrrrrrr!

so having the house to myself until 3pm raises a question...
a) get on with the bathroom?
or
b)internet pron?

you decide!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 6 Dec 2009, 8:40, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did my christmas shopping today
Went on amazon and thedrinkshop.com, got 90% of the presents. The rest will get either amazon gift certificates or store gift cards.

How have you done a major chore in under an hour?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 23:37, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello kids
I've not been around for a bit, I've been in Sheffield (very hilly) visiting my lovely friend Sarah and playing Haunting Ground. Which is pretty fucking scary. Yes, I'm a pansy. ↲So, what have I missed? Alternatively, what makes you shriek like a girl? I need distraction for this epic coach trip, as I can't read books (that i need to for this fucking essay :/) as motion sickness does not a happy Lampito make.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 14:08, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's a bit late, but I'm laughing my ass of at the World Cup draw today.
On the downside, I'm gonna get a whole world of shit from both sides of the Atlantic, but on the plus side I will genuinely be rooting for the US to at least make it to the quarter finals.

But England all the way as far as I'm concerned!

And partway through the draw I caught a fish! Yay!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 4:37, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)