More snow predicted tomorrow
This will be

a) A mild inconvienience for most
b) Horrific as polar bears will migrate South and eat us all
c) Worse than that tiny tremor in Haiti, they only lost their ramshackle houses I could skid my brand new 4x4 into a wall because I am far too imcompetant to understand how 4x4s work or indeed how the general rules of the road work and for the love of god YES I need 7 seats for taking my one child to school and don't even suggest I should offer those scrotbag children across the road a lift, I saw their mother coming out of Asda the other day for heavens sake.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 10:53, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One for the geekoids
A collection of every console ever. Geek yourselves silly now...

consollection.de/
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 10:29, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bono and Sting compound agony.
It didn't take long for Bono, Sting and a full roster of bandwagon jumping fucko's to 'rally round' and help the poor Haitians in their moment of need. Obviously they will be doing it for fuck all, their profiles won't be raised, no profitable merchandise will be sold on the back of it AND there won't be any diva-esque/expensive backstage demands when the day eventually comes.

What rips my knitting, is that these CUNTS could get up, walk over to their fucking cheque books and write a cheque for more than thier self congratulatory concert could ever raise.

I'm not denying the Haitian people the aid they so desperately need, but you know what, they needed just as much aid before their was an earthquake. However, unless you are in 'televised' abject pain and misery then you qualify for exactly, fuck all.

I expect Bono had his people, 'on the ground', in Haiti even before the Red Cross got there, scoping out the desperation, gauging the heartache and horror, calculating the amount of positive publicity that could be manufactured. Evidently it was enough, enough to get the potato headed CUNT out of his bed and bestow his prowess to help the poor dusty darkies.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 9:36, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all!
To those who saw my post yesterday about my 'suicidal friend', thank you for your concern, she's fine. The guy was lying. What a cunt.

To those who didn't see it, don't worry, it wasn't that interesting.

I'm in quite a good mood this morning, I worked 14 hours yesterday, and got a shitload done. Granted, I'll have to do it again today, and probably tomorrow as well, but ah well, what can you do? I'll have spotify to keep me company (Had Mastodon - Crack The Skye, Devildriver - The Fury Of Our Makers Hand & Behemoth - Evangelion last night).

How are we all today?

Also, what recommendations can you give me for spotify? It can't be something I can sing along to, just something for background music.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 9:24, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
I value your input on this important issue.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 1:24, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Awesome!
Southern California is having the worst rainstorm in 15 years, the dance studio next to the local bar was in serious danger of flooding. I went home to get towels and duvets, meanwhile a bunch of regulars came up with about 6 brooms to sweep the water away.

The lady that owns the business used to hate us bar patrons, but right now she's sat here buying us drinks waiting for her next class to turn up.

A true moment of people banding together to do the right thing. Warms my little heart up
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 23:23, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

G0nz, are you still looking for a wife?
Amy Winehouse's dad wants her to 'meet a nice Jewish cabbie and give me some grandchildren.'

Totally in there mate!

G0nz0's future wife
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 21:22, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's official.
Email from a catalogue I order from.

We just wanted to let you know we’ve received your order and everything is running smoothly. Thanks for shopping at laredoute.co.uk. When it comes to style, you’ve clearly got great taste!


When did you last get recognition of your ability to dress well?
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 19:59, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening folks
spent 5 hours on trains today getting to a meeting near Southampton and back. It was about as pleasant an experience as travelling by train could be. Cheap, quick, all trains on time, comfortable and not over-crowded. Surprised the shit out of me.

Anything surprising happened to you? Chompy's rare good mood perhaps?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 18:46, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

dubai nightmare
a lot of you read my tale of the nightmare that is dubai

ominousdubai.blogspot.com/2009/06/burned-in-dubai.html

many of you were also very helpful and encouraging, particularly legless the king of the googlebomb! im delighted to be able to tell you all i have just today been offered a fantastic job with a great company.

my family and i can now start again after the worst year of our lives.

and best of all my kid gets his toys back soon.

thanks again for all the support
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 18:12, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right.
What do you lot know about comic books?

I'm looking for some new ones to read, and would like your suggestions.

EDIT: Thanks everyone!
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 16:58, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Black Monday
Today is statistically the most depressing day of the year.
I, for one, have found no reason to disagree with this.
How about you?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:58, 88 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey there Fatties.
New week, new lies.
Who's up first?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:05, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

vroOOOOOOm! VroooooOOOOOMMM!

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 15:03, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Look what someone made for Psycho chomp

www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/6995354/Sarcasm-punctuation-mark-aims-to-put-an-end-to-email-confusion.html
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 14:36, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

is anyone really surprised by this?
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/8464359.stm
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 14:15, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I live a few metres from the London Hell's Angels HQ.
On Saturday morning I popped out for breakfast and was stunned to see my entire neighbourhood overrun by bikers. There was a funeral on - very heavy police prescence - and literally hundreds of 'hogs' all over the show. Most impressive.

But who is best - mods or rockers?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 13:57, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm feeling mean today.
Anyone want a fight?
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 13:09, 56 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right then.
It's come to my attention that Psychochomp is trying to woo the lovely Snugglesacks and she won't, or can't reply to his gazzes.

What else can we, the online community, do to help Chomp in his quest for quim?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:27, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fucking noisy neighbours
I live in a semi-detached house, with a young family next door. They seem all right types. She's a nurse and the guy not only looks like a weasel, but he has about five of them, however, this is not relevant. The problem is that they regularly indulge in over the top, noisy humping. This in itself isn't that big of a problem, as i would rather hear folk make sweet love, than shout and bawl at each other. The problem is that their bedroom is right through the wall to my 13 year old sons room.

He is either packing a good 14 inches of gristle, he's putting up her dirtbox, or she is a very good actress. She squeals and ruts away with full vocal encouragement. My wife seems to be most annoyed by it, as she has heard it many more times than I. She says she is gonna put a note through their door, but my solution is to wait till their at it again, then when they conclude their moist embrace, erupt into cheering and clapping. If we can hear them, then they are sure to be able to hear us, and the resulting embarrassment will hopefully let them see the error of their ways. Or while they are it, shout encouragement through the wall "COME ON", "ATTA BOY", "HARDER", "SPUNK UP HER GASH" etc etc

The funniest time, was the first ever time i heard them. I was sitting out the back, under my gayz-bo, and they had their window open, and I heard the unmistakable noise of a lady being banged. She reaches a peak quite quickly, then silence for about5 seconds, followed by her cheering and clapping as he must ahve reached critical mass and squirted his man juice. It sounded as uf she was clapping a 2 year old who had used their potty, like a good boy. Fucking hilarious.

God only knows what my son has heard over the months, although i'm sure it may provide him with some food for thought. So, how should i deal with these copulating frig monkeys. Bearing in mind i don't want to cause any friction, but I do want them to fuck in another room, or do it a bit quieter.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:12, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning
Not good morning, because it's not.
Hello people of b3ta, long time, blah, blah, blah.

Large dogs have been into our garden and tipped over our bins, gone through them and strewn the contents everywhere. I'm pissed off about this.

I went out for a meal last night with the SO and my parents. I had steak for the first time in ages, I've had indigestion and felt ill ever since. This does not please me either.

I've not come here just to gripe and moan - although that works for me. I've also come here to say hello.

Hello.

What's pissing you off this morning?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:01, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I love this
www.cracked.com/funny-3809-internet-argument-techniques/

I've read it before, but I think it sums up so many internet communities beautifully.

My question for you:
What do you think is the biggest opinion polariser?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 19:08, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I tend to hide Spotify invites around b3ta whenever I get them
Whether if it's in a day-old thread on /talk, in my profile, or as a topic on Off Topic.

So yeah. Here's a Spotify invite, whoever wants it.

VbqEH6XkGEU4S3xq
(__, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 17:36, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I did another Open Letter.
blog.90nz0.com/sushi-southgate/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 13:52, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yeah but Gonz, THIS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bREy5yBO1-c
is number one in my charts this week.
If I could drive and I had a car I would be doofing this out at traffic lights all over Merseyside. With my seat right back, and my arm awkwardly grasping at the steering wheel, my attempt and ghetto nonchalance failing miserably.

EDIT: erm... Why?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 9:17, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

After the hell that was Christmas Day at BGB's house, Barbera and Barry have their first fight.
www.break.com/index/old-british-couple-fights-on-sidewalk.html
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 15:42, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woman breastfeeds dog!
www.pickmeupmagazine.co.uk/real_lives/I_breastfeed_my_dog_article_293284.html
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 16 Jan 2010, 9:26, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

word to the wise
i would imagine this probably goes for all malmaison hotels but ive been in the birmingham one all week

dont bother with any pay for and hour or 8 hours crap on the internet access

if you plug into the lan you can get the free half hour access...

except it doesnt time out after half an hour

and if you close your browser at any point you can just log in for another 'free' half hour

which is nice
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 0:24, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know two people with comedy names
1. Roger Littleboy
2. Celery Wang

...and I'm not making them up.

Anyone else know any comedy names? If you don't, just fucking invent one, alright?
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 21:28, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)