Alright?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 24 Jan 2010, 20:41, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Boffins, I need YOU
My super gay vista powered tower has gone shit... My keyboard puts in extra letters, so I have to use the clicky screen one. I checked the settings and it all says UK English.

Do I need a new keyboard? Or will a restore factory settings work, or will it reset the whole thing?!

Cheers in advance!

Must dash, my eggs and crumpets are ready!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Sun 24 Jan 2010, 12:19, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all
Had a rather bizarre experience yesterday, while having a few post match ales in a pub near Villa Park when we were treated to a pissed up and impromptu performance from Atilla the Stockbroker. I'd never heard of him up until yesterday but was impressed with his style and banter.

What pleasant semi famous people have you met recently?
(Starvis something for the weekend sir?, Sun 24 Jan 2010, 10:00, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

We all went out for a Chinese last night
21 of us over two tables and immediately those on our table noticed a massive difference in the level of service. The other table had their starters pretty quickly while we sat about like bums, drinks took ages to arrive and we had to chase our main course twice.

They were left with no illusions as to how disappointed we were so when the bill came I fail to see why they were surprised with a sarcastic 1p tip.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 24 Jan 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Woowoo! I'm excited!
Look where I'm being whisked away to for Valentines day weekend:

Sequoia National Park area

This pleases me muchly!

What's pleasing you today?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 13:30, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's a cooking day today !
Not entirely sure what to cook though. My griddle-pan hasn't had an outing in a little while, so I want to use that.

Ideas people, IDEAS.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 12:59, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening/Morning/Afternoon All
(depending on where you all are)

Have been reading (but too scared to post) for a few years now - aparently OffTopic is the place to be - the other half has raved about it but somehow now seems to be the time to dip one's toe in the water....

So I apologise for the not knowing too much about the established hierarchy etc...
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 1:38, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just got back
from a 'team night out'. It was meant to be our treat for working so hard for the last 4 months, etc. Admittedly, I dont do that much in the scheme of things, but other folk do, work like fuck, sometimes for free.

So, we went to some trough fest of a pub, usual inbred menu, leather bannisters. Shite, you would never spend your money there, but, if its paid for, then fuck it, i'll have the gammon steak please.

So, we have our nosebag and 3 drinks, there are 20 of us. As we go to leave the team leader announces we all have to pay £5, yes, a fiver, a sky diver. Now bear in mind, 2 of the designers were 30 minutes late because they had to finish adverts etc. Expensive adverts, adverts that bring them in shedloads of business. They then had the cheek to see if we could all fire a nugget in for a tip.

Needless to say, i explained I had no more cash, i would need to go to the bank. They were leaving to go to a 80's bar.....I went round the opposite corner and was in home by 22:30.

I worked it out, roughly, and its seems pretty clear they put up, the comapnay that is, £10 per person. Yes, a whole tenner. This on top of the fact that there were about 8 folk who never made it!!

Pure derisory, in every sense of the word. I wasn't too fussed about myself, but I felt indignant on behalf of the folk who DO bust a gut. i wouldn't give the cunts the steam aff ma pish.

So, has penny pinching, avarice or cynicism ever ruined your day?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 0:53, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just bumped into Monty round Kings Cross station way
..looked like the DMT was kicking in. He was muttering something about David Bowie and being bullied but he seemed happy enough so I took a photo and moved on:


(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Sat 23 Jan 2010, 0:52, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fun times
Today at work I killed a sea serpent and a demon and improved my castle walls. Yes, I figured out how to play Facebook games on my phone.

In other news, at the start of the week I accidentally deleted a load of data from the wrong database. Not production data, but it does mean we have to grovel to a team who already think we make way more requests than anyone else to get the data restored from backup.

So, how have you advanced your imminent unemployment lately?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 22:37, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Let's have a bit of a debate, curtasy of the Daily Mail.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1225878/Couple-flee-save-baby-social-workers-girl-17-told-clever-look-child.html#ixzz0WJ6OScOX

What's your view on it? I can't make up an opinion, I see two sides.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 18:29, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What an odd week
It's gone from great, to terrible, back to great.

Monday - 14 hour day - Great, got an absolute ton of work done with a good soundtrack keeping me entertained.
Tuesday - 14 hour day - Terrible, had a tiny lunch, was hungry by 5pm, and had to keep working until 10pm just to make a dent in the amount of work I had.
Wednesday - Great - Day was nothing spectacular, but evening was ace, Liverpool won, and I had a great time with mates.
Thursday Day - Terrible - Got a 10 minute lunch, spent the entire afternoon glued to my monitor as I had to start working out what we could possibly delete off a full server
Thursday Night - Great - Gave my statement at the police station, was informed that the lad is wanted by 2 sets of Police, and a conviction in my case was pretty much guaranteed, plus compensation. Then went and had a curry and a few beers bought for me.
Today - Fucking Terrible - Just had some cunt who has very little idea about my job telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing. All this was delivered with a shit eating grin. Plus my friend from earlier in the week (fake suicide) has found out she's suffering from split personality & bipolar, so now she's terrified her child will be taken off her (single parent, 20 years old)

So I have high hopes for tonight, as it should be amazing!

How has your week been?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 16:56, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes, I know this isn't links etc.
But this advertisement just popped up on my facebook. Why date a soldier? Why indeed?

www.hmforces.co.uk/careers/articles/119

Thanks for that, facebook... I think.

Do you go weak at the knees for a man (or woman) in uniform?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 16:21, 100 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm lazing around considering having a little sleep before I pop out
to do what I need to do (leg waxing) and I can see two pigeons in the tree outside and my neighbours have had a new satellite dish put up.

My life is *that* thrilling.

What can you see out of your window today b3tans?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 15:40, 106 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I want of these!
I'd be the coolest kid in town

What's tempting you to waste money today?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:43, 96 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

my question is:
who's been to amsterdam and where is good to go?
i should add that i am;
a: not averse to getting mangled BUT am not basing my trip on doing so
b: interested in art & culture and taking photos of things
c: on a tight ish budget
d: (and this one is key) a bit of a herbal connoiseur, and nerdy with it.

i'm already planning a trip to bluebird in the evening and to green frog (i think that's the name) and the van gogh museum, the crazy science exhibit that looks like a boat, and the hash museum.
what else?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:07, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, Simon Cowell and his band of evil henchlets are to release a charity single for the Haiti earthquake.
Positive charity work or blatant self-congratulatory profiteering? Also, what song do you think they should cover?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:07, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Stolen from links

just for Vipros www.smugopedia.com/

No need to thank me, just send me a croissant in the post
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:27, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My question is
Why is it that no matter what the QOTW is SpankyHanky has several interesting sounding stories of crazy, wacky things that have happened to him or his mates? This guy must lead the worlds most interesting life. I'm calling bullshit on everything he has ever said in his entire life.
( Peej, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:38, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's the best thing on television at the moment?
(any 'goldfish bowl and a lamp' type replies will be punished by repeated kicking in the face with hobnailed boots)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:30, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

There hasn't been a post since 7pm last night - WEEKEND THREAD
That's right shitfaces, what are you getting up to this weekend?

I've got to get up early to do some exercise tomorrow but the chances are I'll sleep in. I'll also be keeping up to date with the German football (tonight) and the English/Italian (tomorrow).

There shall be no booze consumed, this health kick as alive and .. kicking. Whatcha doin?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:13, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Friday's here, and the time is right
for fighting in the streets, boy.

My question is, what can a poor boy do, except to sing for a rock'n'roll band?

Obviously there's begging, or getting an apprenticeship, joining the army, going on the dole...actually it's a stupid fucking question.

As you were.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 9:12, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Postponed wedding bash
Right, yous lovely lot who signed up to the CHCB-Captain V wedding bash, there's been a date change due to hopeful arrival of catfaceceilidhbaby in July.

So: new date, 12th December.
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/21157

(I cocked up and made a whole new calendar entry before my darling husband-to-be belmed at me and told me just to edit the date.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 18:52, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Latest Buckfast update
newsarse.com/2010/01/18/it-is-not-all-buckfast-were-proper-naughty-insist-scottish-criminals/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:26, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I’ve been looking out my window at work
across to the building opposite and I witnessed a guy pull up a piece of carpet and disappear into a hole… that was 5 minutes ago and he’s not reappeared yet… I now can’t work out if I imagined the whole thing, I have taken a lot of cold/flu drugs today!?

Have you witnessed anything particularly weird or unexpected recently?!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:25, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just looked through 350 listed events in the DC Metro area and none of them tickled my fancy.
What comedy/band/person/play/performance/whatever do you want to see?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:55, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is serious.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhTm1CIU5F4

Just, uh ....... just jaw dropping.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 14:53, 94 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Enough of that forward looking cheery shit.
What's pissing you off today.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 13:53, 119 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Enough of that depressing shit.
What are you all looking forward to this year?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 12:13, 140 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm fucking low.
I haven't felt this bad in ages. It's only taken four days to come on and it's hit me quite hard. I'm looking for some of your famed tough love and MTFUing and the things you do, fellow internetter, to cheer yourself up when you feel shit.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 10:50, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)