Right Bumders
I'm getting ready to go out and kick 2010 in the cunt one last time.

I hope you all have a lovely evening and a fantastic 2011.

Peace out!

JTDF.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 16:07, 14 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread
We haven't done this for a while and seeing as it's the end of the year

link to your best posts of the year from here.

b3ta.com/search/posts/me/best
(PsychoChomp, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 14:57, 24 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good god, I really am turning into a cunt.
So, be the angel on my left shoulder, or the devil on my right. Tell me how to be a better b3tan, whether it's good, evil or whatever.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 13:07, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Thanks to the genius open letter thread yesterday
lets all write open letters and clarifications about yourselves.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:16, 259 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A request to all photo-shoppers out there
Morning,

I'm after a decent picture of cat herding. I've had a look on Google images and am not impressed. If someone out there has some spare time and would like to help out a fellow b3tan, please give it a go and post your effort in the replies.

Cheers, and a happy new year to all.

Che
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 9:33, 29 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Disasterprone met my girlfriend last night
And spoke to her and shook her hand and can therefore confirm that she exists in corporeal form and is not a figment of my imagination or ANYTHING

That has nothing to do with my stunningly original question - what are you lot up to tonight then? - I just wanted to let you all know.

As you were.

Alt Q - New Year's resolutions? Which one do you expect to break fastest? Mine is to cut back on the booze, in both cases.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 8:04, 52 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Cooking with gas
Dear folk - my friend has a gas stove, 4 gas elements on the top and a steel frame upon which you set pots. Over each element is 4 'legs' as per the picture linked
salestores.com/stores/images/images_747/DEGCT424F.jpg

She has a wok with a small base, and she wants to use it on the bottom left ring but the 'legs' are too far apart.

Does anyone know what you call, and where you buy online, something that acts as an extension for these legs?

This is the sort of thing I want (in this pic its called a gas cooker extension) but I cant find where to get one.
www.flickr.com/photos/maara/5162236450/

TIA and happy NY
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 5:53, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

G-Lo makes me moist
Not really, I'm just pissed and that thread wasn't doing much. Hello. I officially became an old man today. Any pointers on how to be an old man? I've got the moaning about mundane stuff sorted but any other tips gratefully received.
( broadsword, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:23, 53 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

G-Lo makes me moist
What did I miss?!?!?!?!
(G-Lo, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 23:36, 9 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm famous
I'm on the front page of the daily telegraph in the photo of killer Jeffries !! Check it out!

Q: i also found a dead body once what have you found?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:13, 162 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What have I missed?
Alt: Serotonin–norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors or asprin?
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:16, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

An Open Letter to the Members of O/T - Feel Free to Thread Stomp (etc)
Hello. I used to be Edmund.

In the past I've had difficulty in separating fact from fiction but - as those in the know will be able to identify from my new user name - I am under treatment now and rightly ashamed of my past behaviours.

If anyone's interested, my current dose of SNRI is 375mg of venlafaxine, once daily, and current diagnoses include:

- adjustment disorder with major depressive episode
- borderline personality disorder
- atypical Aspergers syndrome

For the record:

1. The rumour that I had "gazzed" anyone an image of my genitals is a lie (to quote Churchill, "A lie can be half way around the world before the truth has got its boots on").

2. I spent forty days in late 2009 as a guest of HMPS (and it's not recommended) as a long, drawn-out consequence of my having a breakdown which lead to my second marriage and subsequent divorce: if anyone wants more information let me know

3. I have been to the Arctic - both Svalbard and Greenland - and I have man-hauled (e.g., dragging a sledge) but did neither for charity: anyone who was encouraged to donate to charity by me in the past (~2007/2008) can be reassured that at no time did I personally benefit from this

4. My own company continues to operate although with me in the background and I continue to work: we have ceased to support military charities and now support Mind, a mental health charity. I now split my time between academic work and research and development of models (mathematical / statistical, rather than any other sort associated with Honda Accords').

5. I am not back at b3ta trying to be flirtatious or seeking to have "dates" with people. I am now a 40-year old male, with a golden retriever and my own home and have become quite cynical of people and paranoid: indeed, as per Groucho Marx, "I would never be a member of any club that would have me as a member".

If anyone is interested or wants to ask me any questions, you're welcome to gaz me: if you want to write a longer note to me than fits in a gaz, send me a gaz and I will send you the best email address for me.

You are welcome to draw your own conclusions from me and my future behaviours but - as I do when I'm bringing friends into my social circle - I'm less concerned about peoples pasts and more concerned with their futures: in the future things can be done differently to the past.

Thank you for reading this far, and I apologise for the embarrassment and the ridiculousness that I have been responsible for in the past.

Craig
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:57, 166 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Seeing as nothing's going on, I'll just leave this here.
Yes, I know it's not links, fuck off already this is brilliant.

What absurd medical defect would you like to suffer from?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:42, 51 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The Alter Ego thread
Let's mix things up a bit. Talk about anything you want (you usually do anyway) but do it as someone completely the opposite to your usual b3ta persona.
Darth, for example would go on about how much he likes vagina, Or Monty would just be nice to everyone.

Alt: What's your favourite virus? Mine's Ebola.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 14:17, 135 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread
Now without a bbc news link

Right I'm going to a New years party tomorrow and it's sort of a cocktail murder mystery party.

I need to bring some booze to drink, but I can't think of anything. What should I bring to make a cocktail that is drinkable for most the evening and will get me drunk but not pukey drunk?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 13:05, 131 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Come up with a New Years resolution for another Off-Topicer.
Alt: What was your best New Years Eve ever, and why?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 11:40, 228 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Just wanted to say thanks.
What are you thankful for this year? And what can just fuck right off?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 9:10, 245 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What's up people?
I'm a wee bit stuck in Somalia for the next week (and have been for the last week). All the bloody flights are full until 4th Jan. There's pretty much fuck all to do here and I'm running low on books. Reading past QOTW's is keeping me sane.

Just wanted to say thanks.
(Bentos, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 8:08, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm going to the supermarket shortly.
Want owt?

Alt: What are you doing on this fine foggy evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 20:46, 257 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Montague St James Peregrine Boyce
New thread for all of you dudes and dudettes to tell the world why you have sexual feelings for Mr Boyce.

My reason is that he makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the ropes in gym class.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 17:57, 42 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Is it possible to compile an A-Z of Off Topic?
What posters, words or insults would you associate with the alphabet?

Alt: Favourite double act.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:37, 106 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread
Gorgeous women boo-hooing about how all men are shit need not apply.

2011 - new leaf, same old shit, end of the world....? Whaddyreckon?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 14:07, 327 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Let's have a food thread.
What meal reminds you of being ill in childhood, in a comforting way?

For me it's
- Mashed potato
- Chopped up fish fingers (into 3 or 4 pieces)
- Baked Beens
- Chopped up fried egg.

... the whole lot mixed up together into a big mess, but with the verious textures involved, it's well lush.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 12:53, 140 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Right fuck it, I've not had enough of Christmas yet so
Christmas bad: waking up Christmas morning alone, daughter had a week in Lanzerote, the jammy bitch.
Christmas good: good food and laughs with my family, and I got an awesome synth called a Kaossilator which I'm modestly becoming quite adept at using.

Do it the other way around if you're feeling pessimistic. Or tell me what music has grabbed you in the past couple of weeks and I'll try my hardest not to judge you. I'll just let Monty do it instead.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 10:44, 171 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Any of you cunts back at work?
I am, but only for a day.

All well?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 8:56, 177 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

At the moment I seem to be rocking the Nanna Mouskouri look.
Which look are you rocking?

Pic in replies for the young uns.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 20:31, 216 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So today I found out one of my friends set someone on fire.
What have you discovered recently that's been a surprise?

Alt: Would you rather lose a foot or a hand?
Alt2: The whole of b3ta gather together. Their combined weight causes the bit of land they're on to snap off and float away. Food is running out. Which b3tan would you eat first, and why?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 15:56, 186 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm thinking of doing the washing up
There's a lot of it. I also need to get to the gym (thought I'd give it a miss while I was shitting uncontrollably over Christmas) and do laundry.

That must be why I'm sitting here.

What do you have "planned" today?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 9:30, 122 replies, latest was 15 years ago)