Alright cunts
I see some of you are still posting down there, so what you got going on tonight?
I have an empty house, a sniffy dog, WIIIIIINE, and a fuck ton of snow.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 0:24, 50 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Speaking of Bullshit, the Archive has a new header entitled 'posters whose girlfriends are strippers, honest'.
Do you know any of these?

Alt question: The Archive is now close to filling my profile, is it time to edit, quit or take the obsessive's route and make it into some kind of blog thing?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 22:17, 26 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

OT in a coma
It appears.

I am drunk, bored, irresponsible and wilful. Not necessarily in that order.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 21:22, 350 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What 5 items would you have on your rider
www.thesmokinggun.com/backstage

Assuming you were some sort of famous musician?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 18:51, 48 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lies, damned lies and QOTW
Just catching up with today's interesting threads and seeing who won this QOTW.
Interesting stuff.

So...lies - are they alright for QOTW then? Or do we have to keep to the utter truth?

Here's the rub....if /board are allowed to use Photoshop to create something then surely we ought to be able to use our imagination and some interesting WORDS.

Or should /board and the Image Challenge just stick to photographs because that's REAL and the TRUTH.

Alternative question - how long?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 16:52, 68 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh god, 45 minutes ago I looked at the clock and it's only moved 3 minutes since then.
This is horrible, everything is dragging out sooo slowly. I feel I've been here for two days even though I got in an hour late today.

Anyone looking forward to anything in the near future?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 16:29, 30 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Volcano Boarding...
www.sabotagetimes.com/travel/volcano-boarding-in-nicaragua/

What do you want to do that is utterly irrational?

Alt : How pissed off will Monty be that I've threadstomped on him?
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:21, 21 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

May I just say
F.F.S. :
www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/jan/27/worlds-first-beatles-graduate

How fucking preposterous.
Still good news for me, I can’t wait to get my ‘getting sniffed-up and fucking about on the guitar at 3am’ master’s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 13:14, 116 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've just heard that someone I know from my local pub has been arrested for a murder in London over 12 years ago.
This is the most exciting thing that's happened today. Much more exciting than the fact that mr b3th and I have just replaced a curtain rail in the hallway.

What's the most exciting thing that's happened to you recently?

Alt: How are we this fine Thursday?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 27 Jan 2011, 11:31, 169 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The cuntish jibes in QOTW answers.
There used to be a time where twats were slammed.

I've got rather bored of the charver-esque "responses" that some members of this site seem to think are acceptable, and that - to some extent - is why I started to come here less often.

Take this tosser for example. b3ta.com/users/searchposts.php?id=40036&board=qotw
I've tried to find something in that long list of humourless abuse that actually GAVE something of used.... and failed.

As such I've noted down my thoughts on it in the answers to this.
b3ta.com/questions/diysurgery/post1056540

Am I wrong? is this useless bile-filled twat a valued member of this society in some twisted way that I've overlooked?
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 27 Jan 2011, 9:57, 226 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I can't decide who is more shit
Pendulum or Chase & Status. Is it worse to sell out by peddling infantile nu metal with a DnB backdrop, or to sell out by peddling lowest common denominator chart shit?

I can't decide which of those two groups of cynical hypocrites to sneer at more.

Monty- can you advise please?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 9:03, 34 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Check ME out.
As I walked out of work last night, I got 'PHWOARRed' and honked at by a carload of moderately attractive young women. How about that?

Then I went and had some tasty Japanese nibbles and a couple of drinks at a super-swanky (and NOT gay, despite what I was expecting) bar, including a fucking gorgeous cocktail that consisted primarily of cognac and port with subtle hints of some other shit. After we got home I got given some FREE DRUGGES and then re-watched 'Lemmy'. After what began as a fucking terrible day, the evening was little short of spectacular.

When did you last have an unexpected result/wonderful time, and why?

Alt: Could this post be any more self-aggrandising and bragging? If so, kindly point out where I went wrong.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 8:33, 49 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I was told today
Due to the 9 stone I have lost so far, the "excess skin" that is left will have to be cut off. When the hell does this crap stop? I do a good thing- shit ensues.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 1:00, 18 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Staff meetings are dull, discuss
Alt q: do you give the homeless money? Please show your workings.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 20:50, 105 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Just spent a dull 30 minutes filling in a pre-appraisal form for work
The usual rating myself out of 5 in various categories (mostly 4s, threw in a few 3s to make it look less arrogant) that sound similar to each other. If I were to sum it all up, it'd say "I'm fine, leave me alone to do my work.".

The more general comments sections at the end are more fun, because I'm usually brutally honest in them (because I'm rebellious and alternative and shit). I've told them I'm bored, that I feel like the only way to progress my career is to be promoted to Team Leader, and that I've become largely disillusioned by some of the actions of management in the past. I balanced this out by mentioning that there have been some great improvements in how the company's being run, so it wasn't all negative.

What do you think, they'll appreciate my honesty (as they've said every year) or I've shot myself in both feet? Have you had an appraisal recently?

Alt Q: You've just won £1k, what do you spend it on?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 17:03, 155 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That thread has got too far over to the right.
Soon I get to go home, where I will eat venison sausages, smoke and possibly watch Robocop.

What are you looking forward to?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 15:02, 184 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Generic Lunch Thread
Went to EAT for the first time today, turns out it's French Onion Soup day, OH FUCK ME, this is awesome, I'm totally getting my soup on this weekend, maybe do a french mushroom soup too, I donno.

My other experment will be vodka/popping-candy/red-bull* jelly.

So, ermm, generic thread.... anyone see big fat gypsy wedding?

* Well, 'v' energy drink.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 12:46, 180 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Luck occurs
When preparation meets opportunity.

What has been your biggest stroke of good luck?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 11:36, 73 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am not going to Wembley.
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

My child shut her finger in the gap behind the bathroom door last night when she should have been asleep. This is apparently
a) my fault and
b) I'm some kind of cunt

What wonderful news have you had recently?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 8:27, 193 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, we're going to Wembley
Que sera sera!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 21:51, 150 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That last thread is getting dull.
What you having for dinner?

Alt: What regional words do you use? Do you call dinner 'tea' or use words like 'nowt' in every-day langugage?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 17:38, 244 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Right, seeing as that ended up just being silly.
It's 'Ask Monters' time.

Need advice with which political system to go with? Or a tricky fashion decision? Perhaps you need help finding a life partner? Perhaps you just need a punch in the fucking face.

I can and will help with all your woes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:59, 314 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread.
Once again you can ask me anything you like. I will deign to answer truthfully or sort out your problems.
( girlinthehole, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 15:04, 219 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Unhealthy thread three times as long as healthy thread
What a suprise.

Describe your ideal party.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 13:47, 198 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm sorry but that last thread is downright offensive.
You are welcome to join me in here if you aren't a 'buff', hockey-playing chutney ferret who's worked their way up to 150 'reps' on the 'abdominizer' and is 'ripped' and 'toned'.

I eat and drink whatever the fuck I like (and I like to eat a drink A LOT) and I'm not a fat cunt so bollocks to the lot of you.

What's your most unhealthy activity and mmmm, isn't it great?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 11:58, 271 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Exercise.
Sorry to bring up such a vulgar subject this early in the day, but what physical activities do you partake in?
Alt Q. A good friend has suggested I take up yoga and says I would really like it - his opinion is usually reliable but come on - yoga? What do you know/think about it?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:26, 85 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hanging around car parks
I'm sitting in a hospital car park waiting for my dad to come out - he's gone for a routine blood test. Some bloke who looked suspiciously like John Prescott just drove into a disabled space, jumped out and skipped (almost) into the hospital.

It also seems to be half price day for the Obesity Clinic.

When was the last time you hung around a car park and what did you see?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 9:18, 126 replies, latest was 15 years ago)