Question containing AN ACTUAL QUESTION.
I need to rustle up about 5 grand sharpish. I have no more loan/overdraft/credit card money available to me.

How do I do this without returning to my old grand-an-hour-for-having-sex-with-rich-and-attractive-widows business?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 13:02, 174 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

OMG, can't believe I missed a Norn Iron thread.
The correct answer is "Cromwell's a bastard, so he is" and "sure it's great if you don't have to live there, here's me wha'?".

Alt: fuck Bartleby, it's MY birthday today.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 11:58, 111 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What's the best cure for a broken heart?
lol jk, which famous person or public figure would you most like to fuck into next week?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 11:35, 159 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Just for entertainment
No questions. The following reminded me of you.

Rape Tard
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 3 Feb 2011, 10:23, 13 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The brilliant Paul 'Macca' McCartney once brilliantly advised
the government of The United Kingdom to 'give Ireland back to the Oirish'. Now, I am a firm believer in the British Empire and the good it did - I also believe that you should never deal with terrorists* and that the muddy-faced retards deserved everything the marvellous Cromwell threw at them, but do you?

Do we really want Northern Ireland? What fucking good does it do us?

Alt: green or red chilis?


*Did you know that the IRA tried to get Nazi assistance in WWII - but were so fucking thick the Germans ran a mile - they gave them a radio but the little feckers were too dim to operate it - they couldn't get the frequency right, and when they finally did, completely forgot to be subtle and bellowed their secret plans for all to hear? Hilarious.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 9:22, 188 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good Morning /OT. It is my Birthday today, I'm certain that I have fewer years ahead of me than I have already had.
I have achieved a few mediocre things in my life, which is not bad, as most people thought that I would achieve fuck all.

So, do you feel that you have reached the best point of your life? Are you still looking, or hoping for something better, or has your rollercoaster gone over the top and you are going down hill fast?

Oh, happy candleday to Rachelswipe.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 7:57, 109 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Alright?
What's the lowdown from the B3ta crew? Any more Honda Accord driving, kitten molesting or MD ingesting?

Alt Q- Is a cat the opposite of a dog, and, if so, is a wolf therefore the opposite of a lion, and which would win in a fight?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 19:17, 226 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Apparently it's Groundhog day
Is your life an unremitting drudge of the same day over and over?

Alt: Bakers - Hovis or Kingsmill?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 17:03, 63 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Apparently it's Groundhog day
Is your life an unremitting drudge of the same day over and over?

Alt: Bakers - Tom or Colin?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 16:06, 142 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

offtopic is dead!
What are you all doing instead of reading and posting on here?

Alt Q:
Lunch or tea thread
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 14:57, 226 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Too much emo and getting over social retardation in that thread

I'm looking to go on a European city break sometime soon, so where should I go? And what is awesome in your city of choice?

Been to: Paris, Florence, Barcelona, Brussels, Rome
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 13:40, 88 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.
Is Arthur Schopenhauer correct?


I know I'd have a shit load more peircings and tattoos if I knew for certain that I could another job or a partner that way.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 12:48, 151 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Okay we need an official verdict on this,
what is the best flavour of ice cream? My shout goes for rum & raisin.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 12:21, 23 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Whilst at Uni I was taught by Dennis Leigh aka John Foxx and founding member of Ultravox
He told me the story of a Professor James Kinsley and how he testified in court that the word bollocks was not obscene and in doing so prevented the sex pistols album being banned.

More recently I discovered that Professor James Kinsley is the Grandfather of one of our very own OT regulars.

Have any of your ancestors done anything of note? Do you have famous or infamous blood coursing through your veins? or were they all a bunch of cunts just like you and I?

Hurry now you have 51 minutes before we have to start talking about food.
( Peej, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 11:09, 112 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I left my work laptop bag on the train yeasterday
It contained my 2 day old laptop, my blackberry, some paperwork and an expensive fountain pen.

Someone has handed it in and I'm off to pick it up from Waterpoo later today! Huzzah!

When did you last believe in the human race?

Alt Q: What's your favourite crumble filling?

Mine is blackberry and apple
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 9:40, 227 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well I'm very excited today
The good news for all of you is that this time tomorrow I'll (probably) have finished banging on about the bloody thing.

How much money would you require to have sex with each of the following;

John Major
A former member of Atomic Kitten (you don't get to pick which one)
A tramp
A goat

Alt Q - given the mounting unrest in Egypt and Jordan, and the potential worldwide political and religious ramifications of governments being unseated by civil unrest, how long do you give it before Bono "and friends" use it as a pretext to record a godawful cover version to raise awareness money?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 8:34, 65 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Amberl you about?
HOLY CRAP SUPERNATURAL IS GETTING GOOD! I have two episodes left of season 5.

New fav Cas line:
I found a liquor store. Then I drank it.

Actually his voice mail was quite amusing too!

If anyone else is about then er.. tell me about your favourite sandwich or something. I don't really care.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 23:43, 17 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Argh ack oogh
I went to the gym today and they've got these new exercise bikes with a screen that shows a mountain bike video game thing. You have to steer and use gears and how fast you pedal controls whether you win the race because there's computer racers too. And you have to complete the beginners level on each track to unlock the next level etcetera.

So I give it a shot and JESUS CHRIST ITS HARD. I literally got halfway through the beginners level of the first course and I gave up, it was like pedalling through treacle. I had previously thought I was exercising but now I realise I was just fooling myself. I can still barely walk.

How's your evenings going?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 21:14, 108 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

QUICKLY ! PUT ON CHANNEL 'FIVE' ! EXTRAORDANARY DOGS ! OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN
*bursts*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 19:37, 13 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Totally getting a new phone tonight.
It's not new new, but new to me. For a hell of a lot cheaper than the original price, $100 for a $500 phone. Yessss.

What sort of steal deals have you gotten lately?

alt: favorite movie scenes?
this and this
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 18:42, 17 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well done vipros you scared everyone off.
Right lets do news links!
www.miltonkeynes.co.uk/news/local/protesters_demand_bridge_be_re_opened_one_year_on_1_2358963

Lets link to the shit stories in all our local papers. If you live somewhere that important things happen why don't you pretend to live somewhere else it'll be funny.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 16:07, 117 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Monty can fuck off
and to a lesser extent, so can Gonz.

Selling off of forests/woodlands. What's your view?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 14:36, 100 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So, erm, err, doing anything for V'Day ? Got anything special in mind for anyone special?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 14:33, 34 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Alright spasmos, Deacons, flids and scopers?
I am fucking busy, and fucking knackered too. Consequently I am more than unusually narky.

With a nod to Jeff, who was the best Grange Hill character EVER?

If you're too young to remember it, or one of those uphill gardeners whose parents wouldn't let them watch it because it was violent, quite frankly you can fuck off.

Alt: why don't you fuck off?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 14:32, 47 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Generic Lunch Thread
A bit of sushi bento box for me.

Let's say aliens came down and you got to choose a single movie to show them to represent the planet, so they decide not to blow it up, what movie would you pick?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 12:25, 172 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

PANTS!
I like pants. They're second only to bras, and we all know why bras are great. Why do you like pants? Which pants do you like?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 11:13, 182 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

no one cares.
OH MY GOD has anyone seen the eHarmony advert? Because there is a guy in a blue shirt who I'm pretty convinced is AL! Al, why haven't you told us about this before? You look very happy in the advert but it doesn't look like your wife next to you...

I'd search for it but people at work think I'd sad enough without seeing me looking at dating websites.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 9:22, 164 replies, latest was 15 years ago)