I reckon most people have a good book or film in them, it's just the execution of making it is the hard bit.
So, pitch me your film(s)/book(s) ! I'll do mine first to get the ball rolling, I'm sure I've mentioned this a few times, but here we go.

Edward Nortan, who is the son of the inventor of the time machine. Edward isn't a bad person, but he uses the machine to try and find the cure for something horrific that his mum went through, like, cancer or something. As Edward goes through history, finding ingredients that aren't in his Natural Time Zone, he saves his mum, and then realises he can use his machine to save other people. He could stop the 9/11 attacks, he could get villages to abandon themselves before a volcano goes off... Every time he changes the timeline, the future changes. Saving Pompay means the Romans never stop their movements (for example). But then, some people from Edward Nortan's future catches on, the saving of his mum didn't have enough changes in The Natural Timeline for them to bother, but the other stuff he does, does. Changing 9/11 means there is no war in the middle east, for example. Time Travellers have some sort of timeline protection, where as if you tried to kill their mum before they gave birth, they would have been born to someone else with the exact same attributes... and they can remember before-changes too. These police try and stop him, but if the world is so much better, would it really be a good idea?

.... i've not thought out the details, origionally it was about Jacky Chan and Will Smith chasing after time-traveling criminals, but this idea is better.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 20:14, 56 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hometime!
Apparently it's now the weekend. Discuss.

Alt: whay do people give such a massive shit about film and music? If you like something, you like it. What's with the need to make everybody admit that pop is shit and Nicholas Cage is a talentless bellend? Which he is.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 15 Jul 2011, 17:26, 137 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

"Hey Hermione"
"What Ron?"

"I've got a new spell."

"Really."

"Look: ENGORGIO!!"

"Wow. That's impressive."
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 14:59, 188 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Songs that should die a horrible death.
I know we've done it before, but I feel I need to add "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Crackhoe Huston.

alt: who would you challenge to a dance off? b3tan or celebrity.
I reckon I could take Al down without a fight.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 14:50, 379 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sorry swipe it's Beaker-Time
Got my results. Anyone else been disappointed and pissed off with justifiable cause recently?

Alt: Name me some good TV to fill my now unemployable hours
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 13:03, 258 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

i just got a report from my client's engineer on a problem with a building
"the flooding has been caused by the urinals in the gents' toilets on the sixth floor. the pipework has become blocked with hair which has caused the effluent to back up" blah blah. THE URINAL PIPEWORK HAS BECOME BLOCKED WITH HAIR? HAIR?? HOW? what do guys do in there, wash their hair in the urinals?

this got me thinking: what mystifies you about the opposite sex? ask and ye shall be enlightened!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:44, 187 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Weekend lolz
What are your plans? I am going to IKEA (yeah, I know) then buying spirits to work on my cocktail making.

alt: What would you ask Murdoch if you were an MP on the DCMS Select Committee?
(McChinaman banned, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 7:17, 174 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I will not entertain that little gobshite for a second longer.
Disco bitches, D I S C O

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7movKfyTBII
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 23:20, 88 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Just to settle the whole Teen sex row I started before
FYI I have do actually believe Underage sex is wrong (unless it's someone in your own year and you're over 15), but tbh I was saying that it happens so often because it isn't stopped by many people.
The original comments were "I was the only B3tan who could get away with chasing schoolgirls" (meaning people up to 3 years younger than me, I supposed)

I was not saying I would or should, but It is likely someone of my age could.
(Btw I haven't had sex yet, In-fact i haven't even stepped up to the base, let alone hit a home run)
(888777555, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 22:51, 62 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's getting more like News International here every day
What evidence did Al delete this afternoon, and why, hmm?
Whose phone has been hacked?

Whose phone WOULD you hack?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 21:32, 210 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm leaving the M25 ! I'm going to see the sea ! REAL PROPER FISH'n'CHIPS ON THE PEAR ! AWESOME !
Does anyone know anything to do around Brighton next week, i'll be there mon-thurs. I've been looking at resturants and there are a few I want to try. Maybe catch a drag-act if any is going. I'm so looking forward to it now, I know I bitch'n'moaned before, as it wasn't what I was thinking off, but it'll still be good fun. Yay for chill-out-pills too ! Mememmeme, this thread is all about me. I'm so pleased that my job is cool with me being a broken person mostly. My next project at work is a fun one too, get to play around with all the social networks I want, just to go wild and let my creativeness see what I come up with (which is a total joy for me)

Tell me something nice, something good, and something naughty.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:55, 199 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So other than your ability to inseminate, or be inseminated which are, after all, basic human functions
which basic human function are you most proud of? My lungs are pretty fucking wonderful, and some foods give me the most comically explosive arse I've yet to hear beaten.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:50, 221 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am the proud owner of 5llbs of beautiful baby girl!
She is perfect and is a real little trooper, mummy is doing well too.

That is all
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 14:33, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Help me, /OT Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.
So for the last few nights I've been plagued by horribly disturbing dreams, and woken up feeling completely washed out and shattered.

What's going on? What can I do about it?

Alt: I don't know. I'm too tired. What's the best thing to do in Britain when it's sunny?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 10:53, 200 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Apropos of absolutely nothing,
my favourite subtitle ever comes from the Jamaican reggae film Rockers. One fellow says hello to another ('what gwan, raas claat?') and the subtitle reads 'what's happening, bum cloth?'.

I think this is SO FUNNY it makes me do a little LOL every time I think about it.

What do YOU find funny?
EDIT: This question is not limited to 'film'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 8:43, 201 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

this is quite amusing...
www.foxnewsuk.com/
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 23:15, 12 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Night time thread anyone?
What do you fill your week nights with? How would you punish Mr Murdoch?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 20:32, 172 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

alright OT?
Hey could you beautiful gorgeous amazing lot vote for this graffiti artist in a channel 4 comp. I have liked his artwork for about 10 years and he really deserves it. All you do is facebook 'like' it. www.dontpaniconline.com/street_summer/entry/77 How are you all anyhoo?
( FIEND, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:06, 50 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

*tap tap*
Is this thing on?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:39, 202 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My girlfriend, who is a septic,
just asked me for reasons that I hate Americans. She seems to think that most people hate them just because everyone else does.

So, why do you hate Americans?

Alt: Why's America the fucking greatest country in the world? USA! USA! USA! USA! ect.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:08, 44 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Adele
So she's fat, so she's pretty, so she can sing.
Big whoop.

Let's take celebrities and chop 'em down to size.

alt: what do you make well?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:02, 111 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Looking forward
This is a bullshit bingo-ism of my bosses boss. What are you looking forward to?

Holidays, new jobs, drilling a new glory hole at the swimming baths?

Alt:
What are you fucking dreading?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 14:37, 185 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This morning I discovered that the Electric Light Orchestra's "Mr Blue Sky" prompts one to run faster thanks to its brisk drumbeat
Now I don't know much about the ELO, but I'm sure Monty does. Accordingly, I have created the below template as a short cut.

"The Electric Light Orchestra were fucking shit. _____ was a decent album/song (delete as applicable) but after 19__ they were total cack. And _____ _______ is a fucking wanker of the highest order."

I think this is more or less flawless, as Monty doesn't like any music made in a year starting with a 2, and although Bono only has the one name it'd be beneath him to point out that he's a cunt.

What time-saving devices could you offer your fellow B3tans? A toilet with in-built freezer facilities for Kroney? A calendar which skips straight from August to October for AA?

Alt: Best use for the excess skin around Rupert Murdoch's chin area.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 11:08, 13 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Art
Favourite artist? Is it all crap made by charlatans? Could your three year old do a better job?

Discuss.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 10:04, 154 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I was in work at 8.30am, and not because I peed the bed.
This was difficult but satisfying.
(Awaits cries of "I have to be in work, lighting coalfires at 4am, you layabout!"
Well, it's all relative.

What's different about YOU today.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 8:56, 170 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Blimey there are newbies coming out the facking walls.
There's this acid kewpie thing, soulbowl, somebody else, we had freefair/Wormulus last week and even Dr. Shambolic is over here.

And who exactly is this rachelswipe person that has suddenly appeared? It's clearly a made up name.

I want SpankyHanky back so I can refer to him as 'Simba' on a day to day basis.

Fiona Bruce, eh? Cor. I'd give her several.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 23:06, 36 replies, latest was 15 years ago)