come on then benders
what's for lunch? i am thinking pasta, as i have a date tonight and don't want to get too drunk. or i am thinking of an excuse to eat pasta at lunchtime, whatever.

alt: what headline would you most like to see in the papers? i'm going to go for: JORDAN'S FAKE TITS EXPLODE AND KILL HER. DEAD.

alt alt: guess the b3tan with the headline. i'll start with: EAST LONDON MAN ARRESTED FOR SNORTING DRUGS OFF A SWORD. OUTSIDE A MOSQUE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Nov 2011, 12:19, 112 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You can be on a television programme, past or present - as a guest, presenter or actor.
Which do you choose and why?

PS if your answer is Dr Who or Red Dwarf you are a gigantic flid and should immediately kill yourself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Nov 2011, 10:29, 219 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning /ot
I listened to Richard Herrings something or other on iplayer last night. It was about page three and breasts. I like breasts. What breasts breasts breasts breasts?

Alt: breasts?
( broadsword, Wed 23 Nov 2011, 8:20, 245 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Slowest night on here in a long time.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 23:00, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Is no one online
Or have the last two threads been sub-standard?

Alt: Holiday plans for the next 12 months.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 19:17, 137 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

That was a shite thread.
I could start one in my inimitable Batemanesque manner, or drop some ill skillz, but instead...

Guns n' Roses- utter shit or wonderful?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 18:38, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Monts wants a new thread, so let's give him a new thread.
Fatty: What's in YOUR pick'n'mix bag?
Virgin: Favorite position?
Hooligoon: Is your team doing alright?
Polololololtics: What do you take on the British Freedom Party?
Generic: Up to anything tonight?


..... and why to all of them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 16:34, 132 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New thread for gods sake
Meat; which is best?

Alt: vegetarians; why don't you MTFU?

Altalt: best kind of pants?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 15:25, 212 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's bbc news link time!
www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/15818910

I lolled at how stupid some fuckers are.

Also I've just got a mail from someone and their email address has an X at the end of their name, it's like they're kissing me every time I get an email. Weird.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 12:24, 142 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

fish mitten
i see in the news that people have been returning handbags to m&s because they stink of fish. which really does have to be one of the worst stenches ever. so... best smell? and worst smell?

i'd have to say: tangy aftershave on a man's neck and eggy farts on the hot, sweaty tube. the latter being the fucking rudest thing you can do.

alt: i am dealing with the 50th set of rent arrears in liverpool this year. people in liverpool do not pay their rent. what cliches have you found to be true?

alt alt: what is going wrong with the counter this morning then?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:52, 194 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good morning, Deacons.
I had a lovely evening last night with food, much wine and B3tans. So lovely that I missed my stop on the tube this morning. My heartiest thanks to those who attended.

Those who know me may be more than a little surprised to know that tomorrow night I am attending A FOOTBALL MATCH. That's right, I'm now really 'into sport'. What may I expect? Lots of uncouth, bellowing common people, I know that much.
What are you 'really into'? Unless you're a woman, you are not 'really into' 'my mum' so don't fucking bother. I said don't.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 8:49, 102 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Any of you fancy a pint on either the 9th or 10th of Dec?
In the place they call London, details to be confirmed.

Alt: First ever 7" single
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 21:02, 149 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

well now it looks as if nobody is talking to anyone
what are you up to tonight? as it's a monday, this can include dinner plans.

alt: best/worst talkers to comment on qotw and why?

alt alt: can men wear brown shoes with a suit?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 17:47, 192 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm not talking to Blousie, because she's a big meany.
Who are you not talking to and why?

Alt: Has anyone ever not been talking to you?

AltAlt: Best way to explain to an 8-year-old that looking up girls skirts is frowned upon?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:42, 139 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Secret Santa,
because that thread is dead.

I have a £5 budget to spend on Secret Santa this year. Person I need to buy for is 22 year old girl who works in Admin. Suggestions?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:07, 239 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Help me oh collective brain of B3ta!
I've been sleeping on a Super king size (yes the size is important) mattress on the floor for the last 3 years, because it was free when I moved and I couldn't afford a bed at the time. Recently I have been craving a proper bed. As luck would have it I have just seen as super kingsize frame of a style I like on eBay for £80 in delivery.

It's not the time of year I should really be spending money on anything but chrisytmas but I'd be willing to go into my overdraft for this, and it's really very cheap for the size.

One problem: Delivery.

I get my small eBay stuff delivered to work, but this is too big really. I'd take a day of to receive it t home but: "We will ship your purchase within 48 hours after receiving your payment and it should arrive at your location within 4 businessdays after being dispatched. " so that's a pretty big window and I don't think I'd be able to guarantee a given day to take off.

Am I basically fucked here? ANy ideas?

Alt: Item of furniture you'd most like to have.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 13:03, 70 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm not really bored of the previous one, more like I want to show off this thing that I'm gonna recreate and thought it would be good in a new thread.
mixthatdrink.com/rum-caviar/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 13:02, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Bored with that now.
News link www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-15810966
So what do you think about that? You can borrow up to 95% of the property value.

Is it just me who thinks that instead of lending more money for people to buy houses at their current prices, they should just let the housing market collapse again. Mainly because I dislike estate agents.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:07, 180 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning
What did you do on the weekend?

It's Jeff.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:22, 229 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

hey guess what
i met a band tonight called wolf parade and i tried to tell them about b3ta but they're dumb and they wear riding pants lol
but the lead is from scotland
or scottland
whatever
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 4:42, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

lol
guess who's schwasted!

it's kristine
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 4:38, Reply)

guess who's drunk!
lol
its kristine
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 4:26, Reply)

guess who's moving back in with their parents!
lol
it's kristine
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 3:55, Reply)

Why are we dithering about?
It's Sunday night. We have things to do tomorrow. IMPORTANT things.

Don't post on this thread. Be responsible.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 22:18, 9 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

God!! there is fuck all the on the telly again.
*cancels tv licence*


*waits for someone to appear*
( girlinthehole, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 19:08, 119 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

i don't know about you guys, but I need a holiday
my last one (excluding larp events) was over 4 years ago (it was my honeymoon).

I expect many of you need a holiday too, so where are we all going and what will happen?

Bagsy being the one who spends the whole time hiding from the sun under a big hat and an inch of factor 70
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 13:57, 66 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE !
Wow, what a fabulous day it is today, it's a winning kind of day. The kind of day that makes you think "You know what....[something you should be doing], you're all MINE".

Last night I started working on a new project, a mobile phone app, my first one. It's a damn site more complicated than what I thought two days ago but still a damn site less complicated than I thought about a month ago. I set myself a coding challange at work to get it done this weekend, and by lordy, I shall finish it ! I was up 'till about 3 last night doing it.

Alt: What's your plans for the following week?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 9:23, 125 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Ideas for fairy tale fancy dress for literacy day next week.
Go go go

Alt: best Xmas present ever?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 19 Nov 2011, 19:15, 16 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Amberl's been in touch to say she's been taking part in mechanogenetic experiments and is now a 40ft tall hunter-killer with awesome curves and centre-right proclivities.
If you could have something robotic transplanted onto your body, what would you have?
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Sat 19 Nov 2011, 11:56, 70 replies, latest was 14 years ago)