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(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You bunch of fucking chutneys. Fuck off. Go on, do one.Right, now they've gone, we can all be friends again.
Good weekend? Mine was a mixture of great (beers with Stunned, his lovely missus and Lusty on Friday, super-lolz with daughter yesterday) and utter testes (cancelling party invite on Saturday night to discuss primary schools and the ethics of lying to get into faith schools, with someone who spent last week accusing me of theft).
What about this week? Any upcoming joys, or horrors? My brother has a redundancy meeting any day now, the poor cunt. His firm are total spastics.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:31,
297 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
As ever, I am one step ahead of you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:35,
Reply)
When it comes to sticking things up your arse you always will be.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:41,
Reply)
It all started when, having seen 'Quadrophenia' for the first time,I stuck a photocopier up there. I've never looked back.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
you should, there's a bunch of stuff hanging out your arse(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
Redundancy sucksHad the same thing happen to me last October. the payoff looked good but it doesn't last and the interviews were very few and far between, what with it being near Xmas and all.
Now the good news!
I'm about to be offered my dream job (sadly not the one as the sexual plaything of a nymphomaniac brewery heiress), with a mahoosive pay rise, choice of car, German T's & C's and lots of holiday entitlement - by a direct competitor of my old employer!
This year's gonna be EPIC.
As to the weekend - it was bostin'! Saturday shopping with G/F & Emily followed by a steak dinner that night. A few beers & a jam session Sunday afternoon followed by a tex/mex blowout in the evening. All good.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Why thank you good sir!I'm all raring to go with the new job!
What's your bro's line of work? I have in-depth experience of the jobhunting scene, having done virtually fuck-all else for the last few months! I may be able to give a few pointers.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:46, Reply)
The poor sod is a project manager for a luxury kitchen firm.Their cheapest kitchen is about sixty grand so you'd think they would have a few quid knocking about, eh?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:49,
Reply)
Only if they're actually selling the kitchens. All very well offering them for sale but if nobody buys them...(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
The stupid thing is that he's got so much work onthat he was unable to take holiday owed to him last year: he had a week off in December and ended up working for three days of it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
That end of the market is usually recession-proofWhen the arse fell out of the car industry in the UK a few years ago, Aston-Martin, Bentley and Rolls-Roce were still going strong. Mind you, very few people buy those cars on credit!
Surely he has transferrable skills? There's need for project/contract managers in all of the interiors markets. He'll get something I'm sure but tell him NOT TO WAIT UNTIL THE HAMMER FALLS - get his CV out NOW - before it happens.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:58, Reply)
It's been on the cards on and off for a couple of yearsHe's been looking about but not had any joy yet. What's not great is that he's in negative equity with his house as well. He's spent a fortune on it and it's lovely, but were he forced to flog it he'd have nothing.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
Morning, fuckface.Not too bad, thank you. On Friday, I was out for my friend's birthday, Saturday I had a friend over for the evening (she annoyed the hell out of me), then yesterday, I just chilled out on the couch. It's been a good weekend.
The main downside of the weekend was watching Captain America. That film is dire. Not that I expected much, but I was hoping it wasn't going to be that bad.
This week, I have surgery Wednesday, then I'm off until next Monday. Joy(!)
Happy Candle, btw.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
Surgery?Not having a waki t-shirt removed are you?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:47,
Reply)
Fucking hell Monty, that joke is about as funny as Ape.You should be careful throwing lines as bad as that around.
Nope, getting circumcised.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:49,
Reply)
Have you converted to Judaism?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
I'd be more circumspect about telling people if I were you(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
Oh I just wanted to use the word circumspect near circumcised(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
is your foreskin too tight or doskin too tight or does your nob simply stink?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
Too much information on the internet. Particularly for a Monday morning.* pushes sausage sandwich to one side *
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
MorningThis weekend involved both the pub and going to a gym. I'm happy though, I put my hands in my coat pocket this morning to keep them warm and I find thirty quid in there. Winner.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:49,
Reply)
A poor weekend all round actuallyAnd this week looks equally so. I'm drafting my application to this internship, but I'm not sure if I have a chance given that they ask for excellent academic credentials.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:49,
Reply)
well if you apply, you have more of a chance than if you don't apply at all.Give it your best, that's all anyone can ask of you!
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Give my regards to your brother. Redundancy fucking sucks. Has he been there for long?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 8:59, Reply)
I've got my train tickets Stunned.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
No ideaI'll check this evening. I bought based on price not convenience.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
So he should be entitled to 10 x month's salary. Of which the first £35k is tax free as it's a redundancy payment.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:06,
Reply)
Some only do a weeks salary per year I think(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
Statutory minimum is a week per year. Unless they are bankrupt. in which case it is fuck all and you become a creditor and get 2p in the pound in 8 years time.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:09, Reply)
fuckers, fuckers, fuckersMy weekend was ok, the misses is mainly pissed off as I'm going to spend lots of money on my mates stag do...can't really justify it what with me being the sole bread winner, but I have to go he was my best man.
this week is full of work
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
Upcoming joy this week includes driving to geelong to see a friend who I've not seen since the big dance event in November,and tonight I'm going to the cinema with a friend from work, we're going to see Sherlock Holmes. The Horror for this week is that tomorrow is supposed to be 37 degrees celsius. I do not like the heat.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:06, Reply)
It was -4 at 5:30 last night(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
The new Sherlock is pretty good, there's about a 15 minute session of explosion porn in the middle. Boom
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)
It's my daughter's 5th birthday today so the weekend was mainly sorting all that outand having a party for her yesterday. I am fucked now. The sportsback went yesterday when tidying up afterwards. OW!
This week brings a half day today (hopefully) and also a metric fuckton of work, both in work and overtime at home.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
IndeedShifting tables and chairs is not a good idea for a man in my condition
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:13,
Reply)
You shouldn'tHave turned the music off so quickly after moving each of the chairs.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:18,
Reply)
Morning Monty, happy candle day n' all that shit.Weekend was a hive of decluttering and furniture moving activity while the in-laws entertained the child.
This week has got off to a good start. Marathon training begins today and I just did a lovely frosty and crisp three mile run as the pale sun rose. The rest of the week will be shit though as I have too much marking to do.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
The last .2 is a killer. It'd be better if they put it at the start.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
When I used to go runningI far, far preferred to go in winter. The first couple of minutes were horrible but after that it was much less unpleasant than slogging it in the hot sun.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
I TRIED TO REGISTER BUT IT'S NOT OPEN YET!WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:35, Reply)
ME TOO!I'm just sitting hitting F5 until they work out how to update the HTML.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
Sexface had a letter in Metro this morning.It wasn't about sex.
Or faces.
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thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:17,
Reply)
Oh, why am I not on the tube so I can find a discarded copy and read it?What was it about?
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
Depends whether he's looking to be an escort or a cheap whore, I suppose. (
thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
Hmmm...you only do it because you know you can get away with what millions couldn't. (
thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
I totally compensate you with bacon explosions to make up for my rudeness.(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)
Woo-hoo!And I will compensate with food originating from some sort of dough to show you are forgiven.
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thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
We could invent something amazing!We could totally wrap my buns around your bacon etc.
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thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
Are you trying to give Clendrix bacon cancer????(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
Best of all the cancers.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
Goodness.Was it about how not to go about chatting up internet weirdos that you've never met before at another internet weirdo's stag do?
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
Happy candle thing.Weekend was OK. Yesterday consisted of getting up and then more or less going straight to the pub to watch football (an excuse to catch up with a mate I've not seen for a couple of months - true to form he turned up ten minutes into the second half).
This week I suspect will be spent mostly looking for work. Again.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:18,
Reply)
I wasn't even remotely drunk yesterday.I don't know how this is possible, despite having a few glasses of wine when I got home.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:22,
Reply)
Did you piss it up big style on Saturday?If I have a big session I dont seem to be able to get dfrunk the day afterwards. This comes in handy for parties/stag do's/other
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
We did go out with mates on Saturday nightbut it was a fairly quiet one, about four pints.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
Oh christ.Are we supposed to ask questions? I'm not sure I can be arsed.
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thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
I reckon you got your end awayand this low-key approach is a slow-burning smugathon in the making.
Therefore I am not asking you shit all about it so ha.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
Thank you, and yes thanks. None too shabby all things considered.You?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:49,
Reply)
Apart from deciding I have leg cancer on Friday, all's good ta. (
thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
Dunno. Really bad though and I'm paranoid about it for certain reasons.Might have to break my rule and GO TO THE DOCTOR.
(
thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
That sounds like sensible advice. As your BFF I heartily endorse this course of action.(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Shit, nothingy weekend. Made even more depressing by the fact it's my last weekend down here before I go back.
Today is a massive bore as well, need to buy a suitcase, toiletries and a load of basic clothing items from Uniqlo. And on a rather depressing note I just had to hand over a crisp fifty pound note I got for Christmas to the woman in Sainsburys in exchange for cigarettes. I am gasping though.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Yeah, I've used birthday money for cigarettes in the past. Very depressing.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:40, Reply)
I used Christmas present money to buy other Christmas presents.Now THAT is depressing.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
But you LIKE shopping.You should be as happy as a dog with two cocks at the prospect. You're an enigma, Barry.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
I bloody love shopping. But not when I have to buy stuff I already have but need more of, like winter socks and undershirts from Uniqlo. And suitcases, I was in a bad mood when I was coming home last time and I couldn't get the handle to fold down on mine - so I snapped it off. That was a good move.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)
oh hi monty boyce, how are you doing?(this question to everyone else too, except Comrade Quixote)
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Had a good weekendHaving a shitty Monday so far.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
I spent all of yesterday at work which was a bit shit.Saturday night was hilarious though. It was a family friends 60th birthday and I got to see some people I hadn't seen in far too long.
I was slightly surprised by just how dense one of the girls I grew up with was though. When my brother told her he works at an architects firm, she asked "Those are the ones who dig stuff out of the ground yeah?"
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wanderlust, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:44,
Reply)
I don't think she'd know how to use a computer.Not that it makes any difference.
Love you too.
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wanderlust, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
Why are you telling me?I know what you did on the weekend, you div.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
I sense a verbal castration coming up...(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
I saw this as a measure of the trust Lusty has in the powers of your drug-addled brain. (
thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
You should totally split up with him for that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
Do you have some sort of 'they're-about-to-have-a-decisive-row alert?(
thealternativefact, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
turns out, there _is_ an app fir that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:51,
Reply)
Oh if only I knew someone who could comfort me.Someone with a new flat and who'd recently been to Ikea.
(
wanderlust, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
who could you possibly be tginking of???(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:51,
Reply)
Morning allMy weekend was a mixed bag of working class activities with the in-laws (shite pub with indoor play area - ugh) and middle class activities (trip to Ryton Organic Gardens to stock up on poncey organic shit and Eco-friendly toilet cleaner etc.)
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
I find it odd that, of all the colours in a bag of dolly mixture, the brown ones are the nicest.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:04,
Reply)
I realised at some point this weekend that the entire thing consisted of stuff Ms Foxtrot wanted to doEither she planned it with military precision to include things I would enjoy (seeing the anklebiters Saturday afternoon, Sherlock last night) at appropriate intervals, or it's always been like this and I am spectacularly pussywhipped.
Morning everyone.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)
as you're asking yourselfsurely you should know the answer to this!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
The first thing you do is slap yourself for exceeding the mileagethen either tomorrow or the next day do 4 miles.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I was watching Battlestar3 miles over 42 minutes is taking the piss.
That's tomorrow morning's run planned then, cheers - and after that?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)
After that, buy the book.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:12,
Reply)
Rest day then 3 miles, then another rest day, then 5 miles, then a rest day.(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)
And also, get off the treadmill and on to actual ground.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:12,
Reply)
Running tends to warm you up.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:14,
Reply)
I actually prefer running outside but not when there's frost on the groundPlus I paid good money for that treadmill
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Well, I've been running on the treadmill because I dont' like going out in the cold.But I run on a gradient.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Oh al! The actual race is cross country - treadmills ain't gonna cut it.I wore my new lycra leggings this morning and looked like a proper runner and not just like someone going for a jog.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
I wore mine in the gym.But I put another pair of shorts over the top for decencys sake.
Also, I'm not gonna do all my training in the gym, just some of these short runs while it's cold. As soon as it's over 4 miles I get too bored running on a treadmill.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I focused my internal locust on what a cunt the personal trainer was going round touting for business as people were excerising this morning.I must have been sending out awesome hate vibes as he didn't bother talking to me, which was almost a shame as I was all ready to just tap my earphones and mouth "I can't hear you".
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)
You should have punched him in the face to exercise your upper arm muscles.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:25,
Reply)
i ran without headphones this morning so I could concentrate on my technique.It was okay but it was only 3 miles. Can't imagine 18 miles with no music.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:26,
Reply)
I've been working on my breathingdoing 2 in, 2 out. It's working well actually and I'm concentrating on keeping my shoulders down and my arms loose.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Yeah this brings me to a very serious pointIf I run outdoors I have music on, if indoors I watch a DVD. The prospect of running 26 miles without anything to distract me but pretty views and snatched conversation between gasping for breath abhors me.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
What you do right, is every say ten minutes or soyou drop back a bit and have nice look at CHCBs arse, then you realise it's not doing anything for you so you look at my arse instead and then the shame and revulsion at living in the closet makes you push harder to get ahead of us.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Let's be honestWe're all going to spend the whole run thinking of the most inventive way to amusingly describe Monty's poverty
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)
That might be your intentionbut both al and I will be wearing lycra. Lycra.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:46,
Reply)
did you really just say "anklebiters" ?fuck i hate that phrase. along with "tailwaggers".
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:07,
Reply)
loljkSome of my best waiters are etc.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
They eve spoon feed you when you're too senile to hold your own cutlery.(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)
+ are sat in a pool of your own spicy excreta(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:26,
Reply)
Easier than "niece and nephews"which I've now hard to type anyway, THANK YOU VERY MUCH
How's you?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
just say "kidz" inniti am good. detox is going brilliantly, i feel much brighter and perkier, running at the gym etc. how is your diet??
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
Good for you, well done :-)Diet is progressing well thank you, have lost 5lbs so far this year, and the treadmill seems less foreboding every day
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Not too bad, arguably the best part of it was the steak I cooked for myself yesterdayYourself?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:29,
Reply)
Same here, reallyWatched the Swansea - Arsenal game yesterday though, that was excellent.
Also, don't watch Captain America, it's shit.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:32,
Reply)
That was my logicHowever, I can safely say you're missing very little. It's the worst of the Avengers lead in films so far.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:37,
Reply)
I quite enjoyed it.X-Men First Class was much better though.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:38,
Reply)
It's a bit of a concern if they don't get Cap rightAs much as I love RJD, Avengers should not end up being "Iron Man and his supporting cast"
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I can't actually tell you what I didn't like about it without spoilersBut I think it's dire.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:41,
Reply)
I'm actually prepared to believe you're quite right mateI was spectacularly uninspried by the trailer. A Captain America movie should be something special, not rushed out to facilitate an earlier release for Avengers.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)
I felt very much the same about the trailer, but I watched it on the recommendation of a friend(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:44,
Reply)
Am properly excited about Avengersbut I insist on backstory, so will give it a watch and most likely text you my agreement of your assesment at the end
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Compared with the made for TV films in the seventiesit's a fucking masterpiece. God they were hideously awful.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:47,
Reply)
I've heard that.It didn't get released though, did it? It took Marvel a loooong time to get their live action stuff (bar the Incredible Hulk series) right.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:51,
Reply)
Blade was pretty good, I thoughtAnd that was only the 6th film they did (granted, it was 54 years after the first one)
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:56,
Reply)
Blade was probably the point where Marvel characters started to be done properly.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:02,
Reply)
"You obviously do not know who you are FUCKING WITH!"(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:04,
Reply)
lovely weekend up north with friends and familysome slightly random texts from the ex - about me taking pics of him in his underwear for a modelling site - which perturbed me a bit, but other than that all good.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:07,
Reply)
Hmm, choicesVOTE NOW
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Oh he really is a fucking cunt.Gaz me his number, I have had more than enough of that bent prick.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
i wish there was an "i love this" buttonironically, i have him in my phone as "fucking cunt" at the moment. to remind me not to text back.
it doesn't work :(
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
YOU ALREADY DID, THAT'S WHY HE'S STILL FUCKING TEXTING YOU!(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
ha, i wishsadly i think it's the best friendship that he is so addicted to. why am i so fucking likeable?!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:26,
Reply)
Addicted to friendship?He sounds like a weird fucker.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
no, just with mehe isn't after keeping up shagging with no ties. he is after being best friends on the planet.
urgh.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
Come on Swipe, the motherfucker's so far in the closet that he's currently being gang-fucked by Aslan & Mr Tumnus.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
shudderwe had the cartoon version of that when i was a kid (with june whitfield and loads of other 70's celebs in it) and mr tumnus was the most frightening creepy looking kiddie-fiddler ever.
unintentionally hilarious.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:37,
Reply)
So did we, I saw it a few Christmases backIt sets a new benchmark in the "has not aged well" stakes. Move over Babylon 5
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)
The Mask is the worst one for that, I find.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:40,
Reply)
The Young Ones is still worse.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:45,
Reply)
Apart from the Bambi episode.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:48,
Reply)
G-G-G-G-G--A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A--Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y--L-O-O-O--R-R-R-R-R-R-R--D-D-D-D-D-D-D(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:31,
Reply)
it is balm for my savaged ego that you boys say thisrather than "he just decided after 6 months that you're an unfanciable moose"
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
Yes?Oh, you wanted an opinion.
Monty is right. Any man who pursues platonic friendship with an ex who is bizarrely still up for coitus despite the associated headfuck is a bender.
I HAVE SPOKEN
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:34, Reply)
I still sleep regularly with my exes, what does that make me?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:35,
Reply)
a man who is trying too hardto prove his non-quenderiness.
Welcome to the closet.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Ow! You're standing on my foot!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:45,
Reply)
And which one of you cunts has guffed?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:46,
Reply)
*Smells as fishy as a poofter's fart*/Macc Lads.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:51,
Reply)
That's a risky one with the name in the phone like that.I had a girl saved as "Please Die" in mine a few years back and she saw it. That was fun.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)
"I am washing my hair tonight and so must regrettably decline your generous offer of arse rape in lieu of rent." (, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Rape implies I wouldn't be up for itDon't be silly, Stunned poster.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Hahaha I'm stealing that.Although I wish I knew about it before a couple of days ago, they've been harassing me for ages and I've just paid four months rent.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)
You can get it back thoughAll you need is a balaclava and an easy point of entry... oh look who I'm telling
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:24, Reply)
That's fucking burglary, way beyond my remit. Even if it wasn't I'm retired now anyroad.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
reminds me of bobby's story aboutseeing himself in someone's phone as "turd".
i LOL'd a LOT at that.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:19,
Reply)
how will that help us fall madly back in loveand move to antigua and live on the beach happily ever after??
:(((
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
I think his love of the cock will be more of an issuethan communication problems.
That, and the nasty ebola epidemic in Antigua
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Well frankly it won'tBut him being an enormously self-obsessed turd-burglar won't help either.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:25, Reply)
But the Reverend is on the market SwipeyEvery cloud...
(sorry to hear of your shite weekend mate)
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)
is that an oral sex joke?or did i read waaaay too much into it?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
ATTENTION LADIESThis man is newly single and has a freakishly long tongue!
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:35, Reply)
well, clearly you're as bad as i ami wasn't sure if he meant that fingertip grooming thing.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:36,
Reply)
i do have a hot banker in the pipeline (so to speak)so watch this space.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
Bankers have been doing the general public up the pipeline for far too long.It's why we're in this mess in the first place.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:40,
Reply)
Swipey's bumhole will soon be acting as a metaphor for the British economy(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)
That's more like it. I am sure you have enough best friends anyway, an ex-boyfriend as a bezzie is never a good idea. What happens when you're in a relationship with a new man?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Stunned is rightIt's only a matter of time before the ex drunkenly advises the new boyfriend to "get her to do that thing with the ping-pong ball"
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)
I stayed quite close with the ex wife for a bit.Although there were a lot of things still tying us together, like her mum being ill and then dying. It kind of fizzled when her new bloke came along, though. Probably just as well.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:45,
Reply)
Were you skiing recently?www.guardian.co.uk/education/2012/jan/15/lse-inquiry-nazi-drinking-game
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)
I like how the AU say it's "not an accurate representation of the behaviour we uphold ourselves to"The AU are the biggest bunch of drnking cunts imaginable. Every Wednesday night at Uni you would always see a massive group of pissed up rugby, football or hockey players being a nightmare.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)
If it's not the anti-semite students, it's the pro-Gaddafi teachers in the papers. High standards indeed.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I had a slighty shitty weekend thanks for askingI split up from my GF of the past 2 years. It was completely my decision, and I know that in the long run it's the right thing to do.
However, she is completely heartbroken and I feel like shit for doing it.
Anyway, onwards and upwards, etc. Happy candle day Monters.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Punch her in the tits.It'll help her get over you and you'll fucking love it too.
WIN/WIN
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
I can't say I've ever fancied tit-punchingCouldn't I just kick her in the clopper?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)
HE'S TOLD HER TWICE ALREADY!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
That's not good, hope you're alright.Maybe you could give her Gonz's number? I'm sure he'd help her get over you.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
gpod man, i was to busy to get in there in time.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
I really don't think that would work out wellIt would be like sending her a bag of frozen chipolatas when she's been used to prime steak.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Frozen chipolatas that appreciate her and treat her well rather than the prime steak that is bored and disinterested, and is now looking for someone else to eat them.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Nah, I think I'll be hanging up my pulling trousers for the forseeable.(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:34, Reply)
says the guy who let the girl book a travellodgeand didn't surprise her by booking somewhere much nicer.
interesting.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:35,
Reply)
since he can't see this to defend himselfwhy should he? she might take it as patronising her in a 'i earn more than you' kind of wauy, and she might have booked it as a nice treat
or she could be really poor
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)
if she earns less than himshe must be on the dole
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:52,
Reply)
maybe she is, theres no need to get all snooty about ittimes is hard, unemployments high
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)
firstly i'd rather be a lonelyknickers than the kind of scrote who books a travellodge for a weekend away togethersecondly, as usual quentin, you're WAY behind the times, as i have a newbie.
thirdly, you really should address your fears of being alone. personally i think they stem from you being such a horribly boring dullard that you can't bear your own company.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:57,
Reply)
We usually book a Travelodge when we come down for bashes.Last time it was £19 for the night. I think for somewhere to rest your head they're perfectly acceptable; it's not like we're spending any length of time in them.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:01,
Reply)
i completely agreei've been in the oxford one, the cambridge one, and about 3 others. i am not knocking travellodge.
UNLESS it's for your first dirty/romantic weekend away together! because let's face it, then you're spending ALL your time in it.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:02,
Reply)
This is true.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:05,
Reply)
mate, i'm fucking scottish lobster... not even in the same league on this annalogy.Even BK serves agnus on this one
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:45,
Reply)
Yes, I split up with her because I am a sex pest. I can see that you're really keeping up with this Quenders. Well done.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)
you say you split up with her, but i don't reckon thats the casei think your pervy comments at rachel et al are symptomatic of how you are irl, and your 'girlfriend' got fed up with you drooling over every woman you saw
so she dumped you and your probably going to start self harming
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:36, Reply)
i'm gonna set up a girl profile and see how long it takes for you to perve at me(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)
oh hello rev, i am a girl and i have a foof and boobsi like SATC and cats and pink chardonnay.
also, i am menstruating
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Can I see your boobs please.It's not for me you understand, it's for my friend bob. He really likes boobs.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)
oh are you and bobby friends now?good times.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:58,
Reply)
Yeah, he apologised for being such a rude and agressive penisand said that his overeating was just a symptom of his terrible unhappiness.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:06, Reply)
there was a v sad programme on mtv last night about an 18 year old who is addicted to foodher mother is a cunt who never ever cooked for her and just bought her mcdonald's and pizzas. it made me very sad.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:07,
Reply)
Bollocksshe's not addicted to food, she just needs to stop stuffing it into her face. Did she not get her free education up until the age of 18? Was she somehow unaware that eating food makes you fat?
Fuck sympathy, stupid bitch sounds like she should be put down.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:14, Reply)
here, these are definitely my breastswww.google.co.uk/imgres?q=breasts&um=1&hl=en&client=opera&sa=N&rls=en&channel=suggest&biw=985&bih=721&tbm=isch&tbnid=e_N5xgQ46LnvtM:&imgrefurl=http://www.beautyden.com/news/womens-breasts-bigger.shtml&docid=vqUeQBSkL2WaJM&imgurl=http://www.beautyden.com/news/pics/big-breasts.jpg&w=450&h=415&ei=2gMUT-G8E5HrOeja7IMD&zoom=1
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)
hahaha, angry and upset over nothing.Was you being this toutchy the reason she split up with you?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:56,
Reply)
just like your ex reading too much into you perving at all those women, eh?(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Yeah there's me, Darth, and Swipey's ex all packed in here like sardinesand we can't open the door.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
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