Evening!
this is my nail in my wall in my house. I asked no permission before hammering it in

up2.it/ali/nail.jpg

q. what else is awesome?

alt q: what did you do when you first owned a house/what would you do when you own a house?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 17:57, 237 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt: Fill it with cats in the hope of recreating that IKEA advert.
(And hoping they wouldn't just shit everywhere and cover the place in furballs)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:00, Reply)

your appetite for pussy
is unsurpassed
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:04, Reply)

My new barnet is pretty amazing.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:08, Reply)

how amazing?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:12, Reply)

I may upload a picture if you're really lucky, so you can bask in it.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:13, Reply)

phwor

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:15, Reply)

Alt: Built shelves. An entire wall of shelves.
And then put all my books on them.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:09, Reply)

There is something immensely gratifying
about having a wall of shelves filled with books. Or in our case, books and DVDs. A lone kindle propped up on the mantlepiece doesn't have the same allure.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:11, Reply)

It'll be a four course meal in pill form next, resting folornly on a plate, you mark my words.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:13, Reply)

Witchcraft!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:14, Reply)

mmm, nice
this might be something else I do
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:12, Reply)

I'm going to have a library
and a cat and as much fifties housewife cooking type stuff (Le creuset, I'm looking at you) as I can fit in to my kitchen.
(berk, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:12, Reply)

will you wear a cute 50s apron
and get your hair permed?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:17, Reply)

Yes to the first
no to the second. My hair does not need to be any more curly than it already is.
(berk, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:19, Reply)

I wouldn't fill my house with any decorative or bulky items.
I have enough itmes for myself already, and I am space conscious.
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:14, Reply)

according to my dad
it's more like you just get given them whether you want them or not. My decorative items are largely going to be things I've made myself and can't give away
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:16, Reply)

Is space conscious a euphemism for fat?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:18, Reply)

space conscious FreeFair tat wanker.
(berk, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:19, Reply)

Haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:20, Reply)

HA!
Freefair in 'might be Bobby's right-wing alter-ego' shocker!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:20, Reply)

I will kick you in the nuts crow

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:23, Reply)

You're just jealous because I can see mine

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:39, Reply)

So can I with a mirror and a crane

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:46, Reply)

Nope.

(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:23, Reply)

My dinner is pretty awesome
I'm going to listen to the first draft of my band's album tonight, so I'm hoping that is going to be awesome.

Alt: knocked down a wall* and, as above, many many shelves to house books, records, CDs, etc.

*Actually, some proper men did this. I paid.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:17, Reply)

shelves are humankind's greatest achievement

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:23, Reply)

Some of mine are bowing in the middle
Not such a great achievement
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:28, Reply)

Painted an enormous cock on the living room wall

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:22, Reply)

Needs MOAR breasts

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:22, Reply)

I'll be honest, it wasn't me, it was the lady I was seeing at the time
not sure what her point was

she had breasts though
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:26, Reply)

And... Did you like them?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:27, Reply)

I was into them before they went all commercial

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:31, Reply)

i am tempted by this
I just found out the local B&Q is open until 9 - I might go and get some tester paints

"one tin of CDC magenta, please, my good man!"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:24, Reply)

That flat is near an office building called Runnymede CDC
always feel a bit conned when there isn't a big spunking cock drawn on their sign.
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:33, Reply)

:(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:41, Reply)

You know what you have to do?
Take in a swatch and get them to colour match it for you, then use their magic spinny paint mixing machine to make it up - it's 'well good'.
I did it to get the deep pink colour I used in my bathroom. The woman was adding shot after shot of red into the machine, and she kept saying 'are you sure you want it *this* pink?'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:38, Reply)

i'm thinking this colour for the lounge
www.dulux.co.uk/colour/auburn_falls_3
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:40, Reply)

Mmmmm.
Diarrhoea brown.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:42, Reply)

it's orange!
your monitor mustn't be calibrated
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:42, Reply)

I like that blue colour in the 'contrasting' ideas section.
I think that orange would be a bit much for me. But then again, I painted my bedroom hot pink, so what would I know?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:48, Reply)

but you learned from your adventures
Technically I should take advice, but fuck it ORANGE!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:51, Reply)

I think I've now learned
that you can paint things a fairly neutral colour, and change your highlight accessories every few months to get a bit of bright colour.
I haven't done that, but it's what I've learned.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:53, Reply)

Oh man, I like that, but I like how they've done it, with the feature wall thing, are you getting a feature wall? I fucking love feature walls, they make the room so big and posh.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:05, Reply)

I had a feature wall in my little flat.
Three walls were cream, and teh feature wall was brick red. Then I stencilled lines of poetry all around the top of the walls in the red colour. It was really cool. Very Changing Rooms.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:08, Reply)

I really like that idea, what poetry did you use?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:12, Reply)

Philip Larkin's 'they fuck you up, your mum and dad'.

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:14, Reply)

I've not heard of that, but let me guess.
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conquered, rarely came
Sixteen just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, when you came
Sixteen just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, when you came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:18, Reply)

Well that's cheered me right up.

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:19, Reply)

MARK FROM BLINK 182 STOLE MY DIARY WHEN I WROTE THIS AND MADE IT INTO A SONG.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MRdtXWcgIw

*Clinicly depressed late teen fives*. Got better though, now I can go on Flickr and look at pictures of pugs.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:21, Reply)

Haha!
I haven't been able to listen to any sad songs for ages now. It's got to be up beat. I've got the new Adele album and I haven't heard it yet. I daren't.
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:25, Reply)

I give a good proportion to that every day, as when I open up iTunes, it's near the top of the alphabedical list.
I really love "Rumour has it" and "rolling in the deep".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:32, Reply)

I might be brave this weekend and put it on while I'm cleaning.

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:38, Reply)

I've generally listend to the first half of the album rather than second, on account of listening to it before I do my jobs for the day....
... but it generally stricks me as "Kick ass, I don't need no man" rather than sad.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:40, Reply)

There is a vast amount of truth in that poem
Apparently people have done studies (of which I have no proof) that the more this relates to some people, the more likely these people are to be successful sales people.

Might be bollocks, but sort of seems slightly logical to me when you look at the type of people who have a need to prove themselves.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:27, Reply)

Did you click reply in the right place?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:31, Reply)

I thought so, but upon review that the poem has changed. I thought it was "They fuck you up"
However I have been to the pub so am probably mistaken.

How are you anyway Gonz?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:33, Reply)

Ahhhh, coolio.
I'm doing good thanks, at work I re-designed the video pages and made the side bar down the edge of this: video.mpora.com/watch/5Pgs2slxu/ .
That video went up 1 week ago, and look at how many views it's gotten.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:41, Reply)

How's you?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:42, Reply)

V good thanks Looking forward to a quiet weekend. Got the baby into a new sleep routine which is working well and means my wife is catching up on the sleep she needs.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:44, Reply)

Oh lush, proper martial bliss in the homestead.
If I remember correctly, when we actually last meet, you were single (like, a year and a bit ago in Kings Cross)... Ovb if that is the case, that the kid was (to use a phrase I like) "The best mistake [you've] ever made". How did you meet the misses though?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:12, Reply)

Looks good. BTW - got invited to join pinterest the day after you mentioned it. Interesting idea.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:45, Reply)

Sweet !
I've only used it in a coding mind, rather than as a user, but I think it has a lot of potential, say, for collecting recpies. I really think it'll be a big thing.

This has some good ideas: mashable.com/2012/01/19/pinterest-brands/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:06, Reply)

It was something I wrote myself.
I wrote an epic poem about a prince who goes on a quest. all a bit D&D, really.

Anyway, I used a few lines of that. I used Harbinger as the font, since you asked.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:22, Reply)

Very celtic-esque. I like it.
I've never read a story in a poem for, such as Bearwolf and all that, they don't really do that these days do they. I think there is a trick missing there. I guess the modern equivilent is when someone tells a story via hip-hop/rap. I totally love this for a story in that form: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkvWOAJeZmM
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:30, Reply)

Thgat was what I was going for.
This prince goes to rescue his princess from a dark lord who's kidnapped her. It was all done in rhyming quattrains.

There was a second one where tehy battle a dragon, but I never finished that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:36, Reply)

Get you Miss Smarty pants.

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:37, Reply)

Did you actually want a nail there? Are you going to leave it there as a symbol of your land ownership?
You know what's awesome? Being offered a job interview for an awesome job.

Alt: painted all teh walls particularly garish colours. Because I *could*.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:23, Reply)

*shrugs*, yes, I'll leave it there forever.
OMG YAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAY!

what is it?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:24, Reply)

Marketing co-ordinator.
Interview next week. *yays*

So, when's the housewarming?
Piggies settled in alright?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:28, Reply)

that is SO COOL! Good luck!
Housewarming can wait until half term, I think. I'm moving in over the next week or two, pigs move in next week
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:30, Reply)

Do they get their own room?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:35, Reply)

possibly yes

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:36, Reply)

I'm almost 30 years old.
I've had to move back in with my parents.
I'm working at a job where I make for two weeks what I used to make in one.
I've come to the conclusion that I will never own my own home.
Unless it happens to be a blue tarp and some cardboard in a back alley.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:36, Reply)

I think there's a lot of young people in your position these days
and unfortunately it's not looking like it'll get any better in the near future.
Sorry and all that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:40, Reply)

I didn't own my own own till I was 40.

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:02, Reply)

alt: ripped out fucking everything in the house
and replaced it all with stuff that wasn't shit.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 18:49, Reply)

The previous owner left the living room and bedroom curtains.
I swapped them both round and accessorized the rooms to match.
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:04, Reply)

Professor Elemental, fish finger sandwitches and sprouts.
In other words: My evening. I may have a horn of mead later.

Alt:paint the walls something other than magnolia
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:05, Reply)

Do you know whatI like doing? I like getting some sprouts, boiling them up, with some boil-in-the-bag chestnuts.
I then Smash (rather than mash) the sprouts with butter and a touch of salt. I then put in the chestnuts, I can eat that all day every day.

I saw on the telly this bloke who got a tooth pick and put some brussel and black pudding on it, and then battered and deep fried it, I reckon that would be well nice, but it would need some sauce... something sweet, but not too sweet, maybe dill?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:08, Reply)

sounds good.
I might grate some cheese over mine.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:11, Reply)

Hmm, I'm not so sure about that, might work, the jury's out 'till I try it.
I've seen on this american show, wehre they get celebarty chefs to do "The best thing I ever ate" with different catagories like "bacon" or "Fried" or "sugar"...etc. Anyway, this one guy, his favorite thing was brussels that had been shredded and deep fried, then sprinkled with crispy bacon. Skip the bacon, for you, and maybe use salt insetad? garlic salt? Paprika too? Anyway, I bet that's good, a bit like an even tastier version of Seaweed that you get in the chinese.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:16, Reply)

sounds good.
might try it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:25, Reply)

You may have the horn later?
Sounds like a good plan for a Friday night.
Seeing the boy this weekend?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:09, Reply)

Haha, oh god, I really hope these questions aren't related.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:10, Reply)

Of mead, yes.
Nope, it's his mum's birthday tomorrow, they are off on a little trip. Then I have him the next 2 weekends.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:12, Reply)

A weekend of heavy drinking aheasd, then.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:24, Reply)

maybe, maybe.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:25, Reply)

Oh and get a pet rat or two.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:11, Reply)

yay! Prof elemental is cool
sprouts aren't, though.

I'm going with orange walls
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:07, Reply)

Congratulations cavy

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:19, Reply)

thank you :)

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:04, Reply)

Hey Cap'n Homey ;)
Is that a 2" oval brad? A good choice of nail, but not the best for hanging pictures off.
a) I am awesome, as is the huge fishcake I've made for dinner tonight. Lots of dill, salmon and smoked haddock, a wee bit of chilli, salt and pepper. Potatoes, obviously.
alt a) skinned up a mahoosive celebratory one and started breaking out the 1970's fire surround.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:20, Reply)

My surround has got to go but I daren't start the job.

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:27, Reply)

Get drunk and hit it with a hammer and than you'll have to sort it out.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:36, Reply)

That's your answer to all life's problems isn't it?

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:38, Reply)

It certainly worked on those hookers that time

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:42, Reply)

Pretty much.
not failed me yet.

However I have a problem now that it may not solve. I'm all full up with sprouts and in 10 minutes my spotted dick will be ready. what am I to do?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:43, Reply)

Save the spotted dick for me.
Lol You're going to the cinema tomorrow and you've eaten a load of sprouts.
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:44, Reply)

Might be a bit manky by the 11th.
I can always get a new one from the shop over the road.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:45, Reply)

I was being rude.
You should be used to it by now.
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:47, Reply)

I was defusing your joke by taking it seriously.
Ain't I a stinker?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:54, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:54, Reply)

Start it then you may well have to finish it.
Or not ;)
I left myself no choice after covering the delightful (!) purple and gold Paisley carpet with soot from a 400yo chimney.

Invest in a respirator and crack on!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:48, Reply)

God no! I shall be getting a man in to do the job.
Trouble is then I'll have to put new carpet in and decorate.
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:55, Reply)

why is applebite doing an accent in this video
www.b3ta.com/links/getting_attention_in_class
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:28, Reply)

ooer it's the spit of her!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:29, Reply)

I know rite
I posted it on her wall.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:33, Reply)

You miss her don't you?

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:30, Reply)

SO VERY MUCH!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:30, Reply)

That's uncanny.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:57, Reply)

Don't fall in love
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtWUrJU46M8&list=UU2OjAdldbh7mzmAyDZObhrA&index=2&feature=plcp
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:03, Reply)

Oh lordy...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:18, Reply)

Nice one.
Alt: persuaded the woman I had bought the place with that we should start by "christening" the house. Then realised half way through I was shattered from moving furniture and boxes.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:29, Reply)

Retire.
On the grounds that I'll probably be working full-time well into my seventies before I can afford to put down a six-figure deposit.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:39, Reply)

Or find an older lady with her own house.
*waggles eyebrows*
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:44, Reply)

Or move somewhere sensible?
Paid £35,500 for my first house.
Fair enough, that was 20 years ago (shy by 3 months), in the north and in need of FULL renovation.
Still, I made a clean £60k profit on it, which back then was healthy.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:51, Reply)

I bet you had great seats in the living room
while listening to Squeeze on the radiogram.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:57, Reply)

Or wipe the period of unemployment and sub-breadline poverty from my credit history, that'd be a good start.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:58, Reply)

alright benders?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:56, Reply)

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:56, Reply)

Are you being a ghost?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:57, Reply)

No
I'm expressing utmost delight in the appearance of dozer on our boards.
( girlinthehole, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:58, Reply)

Have you been clubbing yet?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:58, Reply)

That's the sound of da police.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:57, Reply)

I believe that's 'Woop! Woop!', Old Chap.
*tips monocle*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:59, Reply)

It is indeed Woop! Woop!
Overseer, overseer, overseer, officer, officer, officer...yeah officer from overseer, you need a little clarity? Check the similarity!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Isn't it?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:01, Reply)

No, the sound of da police
is a cod reggae musical backing and a strangulated geordie warble.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:59, Reply)

I'd buy a minimal amount of furniture
and then cry a bit over the debt I was in.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:57, Reply)

I plan to buy as much as possible 2nd hand
I own quite a bit since the place I have now is unfurnished.

The thing about house debt, is it's too damn big to notice
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Like my penis

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:06, Reply)

Thanks to late night B&Q
I now have 5 tester pots of paint. And a tape measure (because that's the sort of thing people have when they own a house)

I'm no Gonz, mind
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 19:59, Reply)

Did they tell you how to do swatches for the best results?
Then again, you know all about light, so you probably know more than them what to do.


Shit! I've just remembered I haven't done today's photo yet. Bugger.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:00, Reply)

no one told me anything
I shoudl probably find out how to do this shit. I just can't decide on a colour yet, and it all depends on how the light looks throughout the day
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:05, Reply)

You paint a decent sized square somewhere on the wall
Assuming two coats, a tester pot contains about the right amount of paint. Then you watch how it looks in different lights and see if you still like it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:11, Reply)

I didn't know the two coats thing
I might do patches in two parts of the room where the light falls differently
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:13, Reply)

THe other big thing to think about is that they dry differently.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:15, Reply)

And don't use a powerful colour directly on the walls for when testing

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:15, Reply)

oh really?
What goes underneath?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:16, Reply)

Paper.
Usually llining paper, but contact paper would do just as well.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:18, Reply)

i have no idea what this is
is it like wallpapering before you paint? There is paint there already, kinda pale green
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:20, Reply)

Depends on the state of the plaster.
If it's too chipped or cracked, you might want to skim it first. In which case, you'd have to leave it for a couple of weeks afterwards to thoroughly dry.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:23, Reply)

Alternatively
it's your house - you do what you want. Get stuck straight in!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:23, Reply)

I think it's OK, just a few nail holes I can fill with polyfilla*
oh and a shitty border round the top by the ceiling

*that's right isn't it?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:25, Reply)

That's right.
And take the border off before you paint, or it'll look weird.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:27, Reply)

OK, now about cleaning carpets....

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:30, Reply)

Get a professional
You CAN do it, but carpet cleaning companies charge (comparative) bobbins.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:31, Reply)

this is good advice, I think
I think it's something I would be shit at
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:32, Reply)

To get the whole carpet right
You need to apply equal pressure everywhere and you can't do that without a machine.

Your friendly slum landlord brings you this advice free of charge. Ring a Chem-Dry franchise - they have good guarantees.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:36, Reply)

ta - there seems to be a dude round here who does it
I'll call for a quote tomorrow
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:38, Reply)

Look up Chem-Dry though
They're franchises but Chem-Dry have very strict control of franchisees - something like 3 complaints and you're out.

They've never let me down.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:40, Reply)

yeah, that one round here is chem-dry

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:45, Reply)

And do it before you get all your furniture in.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:33, Reply)

if I were on half term
I'd try and get all these things done before moving furniture, it'd be wiked
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:39, Reply)

You'll be OK with two coats onto a neutral colour like pale green
Do what everyone else has said above as well.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:23, Reply)

yay
ta.

I think I need to get a DIY book, or just watch 24hrs of youtube instruction videos
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:26, Reply)

Get a basic DIY book
Use it until you start feeling confident, then throw it away and work off instinct.

It's very easy to fuck up painting a wall but luckily it's also very easy to correct it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:30, Reply)

I bought my house when I was 28.
I thought that was quite late compared to people I worked with. I felt well fucking inferior.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:02, Reply)

Silly PD.
That's not why you're inferior.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:02, Reply)

So why is it?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:05, Reply)

Didn't we cover that last night?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:07, Reply)

Nope.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:08, Reply)

Because you is well gay, innit?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:12, Reply)

where did this new meme come from?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:14, Reply)

Observation?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:16, Reply)

OH LOL

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:21, Reply)

great.
I am 35. Does that make you feel better, that I am more inferior?

Owning stuff doesn't make you better, if I'd bought a house earlier I wouldn't have been able to do stuff I've done in the last decade and a half
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:06, Reply)

Nothing to do with being inferior.
Just everybody I worked with was younger than me at the time.

I'm a competitive kind of guy.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:07, Reply)

In a previous job, some of the plant operators and forklift drivers were nearly 60 and had never owned property.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:09, Reply)

OMG THAT IS SO COMMON

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:09, Reply)

I NO RITE???!!!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:10, Reply)

Terribly.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:11, Reply)

Mate, you've got every right to be excited, it's an amazing thing in someone's life, their first real home of their own.
I'd quite like to see some photos when you get some time, snaps rather than photos.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:14, Reply)

i took a few round the house
but they aren't all that exciting. Perhaps when I've finished my brew I'll post them on fb, maybe even with annotations
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:18, Reply)

OK
photos on facebook. Mostly with camera shake and the like, but they are there. My shed is excellent
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:02, Reply)

Evening Benders
I'm on a bus, going from one pub to another. I've decided that I rock. I rock massively. Why do I rock? I will assess answers later.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:10, Reply)

You rock because either you are a 1989 Romanian orphan, or you have Parkinson's.
Hope this helps.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:12, Reply)

You rock because of your MASSIVE SKILLS
as I believe I told you earlier.

Evening Jeffler. Where you off to?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:13, Reply)

Pub innit
Gaz me over the weekend and we will go over any questions. I rock.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:18, Reply)

Definitely.
I'm going over ideas and possible questions this weekend. I'll hit you up later.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:20, Reply)

because you do the worst puns
and look 'friendly'
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:17, Reply)

Thanks 'Blousie'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:22, Reply)

you're just sound, Jeff.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:18, Reply)

7) Turkey

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:20, Reply)

8) Name a food you would eat on the beach

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:22, Reply)

Turkey!!!!!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:25, Reply)

what's boss is that this answer is both correct AND incorrect

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:26, Reply)

Do my hair and eyebrows match?
tinyurl.com/6v7dc2d
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:29, Reply)

A hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*breathes*

ahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah

*dies*

No, you look fine.
The more pertinent question is, do the curtains match the carpet?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:32, Reply)

I don't have any carpet.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:32, Reply)

it's a rug

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:34, Reply)

That must itch like a bastard when it grows back in.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:02, Reply)

I don't let it grow back in init.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:21, Reply)

B E N T

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:37, Reply)

Ah, the 1980's roll around again and again...

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:38, Reply)

Ooer, it doesn't look shit Baz!
I don't know how you fucking do it you little cunt.
You look a bit fit and you know I'm not pandering because we is magic poo bredren.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 20:38, Reply)

A bit is an insult woman.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:00, Reply)

I'm Scouse. We say it like that.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:02, Reply)

did every one go to bed?
it's just me and my spotted dick, which byt the way is incredible, can't believe I've not had this before, I shall have tom eat it more often.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:08, Reply)

huh huh
I'm still here. Look at my house pictures on the book of faces!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:10, Reply)

*looks*
Wow! I want that house. At first I though the sit-down shower was the greatest thing and then I saw the fantastic carpets. That look slike a proper shed too. *is well jellus*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:16, Reply)

The carpets need a good clean though.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:19, Reply)

yup

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:19, Reply)

Such a cool shed
you can see why that was the thing I was excited about. I just need to break in
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:20, Reply)

Might be worth seeing if you can remove/break the hasp rather than the lock
they are often weaker or badly installed.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:24, Reply)

I'm here on and off
I can't see Cavy's house because I refuse to sign Facebook - sorry Cavy, I'll just have to imagine it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:15, Reply)

It's rilly rilly cool.
SHe has a foldy downy chair in her shower so you can sit down and relax and awesome hallucination-inducing carpets and a shed that makes me hard, and an ale tree that I just bet grows poisoned apples.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:18, Reply)

An ALE tree!
Oh Cavy I love you will you marry me I mean I do love you and it's not just about the tree of ale...
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:20, Reply)

I'm afraid it's apples
I could try and make cider from them
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:21, Reply)

Oh..well it's OVER between us.
I'm sorry, it's not about the misunderstanding about the ale tree, it's...it's...
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:24, Reply)

*distraught*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:26, Reply)

You'll get over it
Everyone else has, remarkably quickly in some cases.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:27, Reply)

s'OK
it's not that exciting to look at, I imagine. Except the shed
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:19, Reply)

I look at houses for a living
They're rarely exciting.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:22, Reply)

just imagine one of those, but with a really cool shed

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:23, Reply)

I'm seeing this shed
But I've seen a lot of sheds too. Why is yours so cool?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:26, Reply)

it's kinda greeny blue
and has windows with net curtains and window boxes and from what I can see of inside there seems to be a workshop in there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:27, Reply)

On your next trip to B&Q
Buy a chargeable power screwdriver with posidrive and flat heads.

You'll use it forever, but most immediately use it to remove the lock and get in. You have a shed of secrets.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:30, Reply)

yay!
I have a cool screwdriver with lots of different heads, but it's nt a powered one.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:34, Reply)

You need a powered one
Three most important tools for the homeowner:-

1 - Powered screwdriver
2 - Flathead screwdriver with rubber handle
3 - Big hammer
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:42, Reply)

need
got
got
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:47, Reply)

Don't listen to the foppish one!
You need this: www.tooled-up.com/Product.asp?PID=146587&Referrer=nextag
Add a 6mm Bosch multi-construction bit, some red plugs and a box of 2"#8 screws, a magnetic bit-holder and a handful of diamond-coated pz2 bits and the job's a winner. Oh, and an Estwing hammer too ;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:47, Reply)

OMG
that's hot!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:50, Reply)

The pariah pretends he knows
But he's just a professional builder - what does he know, eh?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:52, Reply)

Fuck all, that's what I know.
And I'll hand out Chinese burns or hair-rufflage to any damned fool or communist who suggests otherwise.
Aight?
Aight!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:54, Reply)

Just had a spin through the week's stuff
Then just stopped because Cavy has had another shout out on 6 Music.

Oh you 6 music whore.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:57, Reply)

yay!
Tom Ravenscroft says I should paint my lounge orange
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:58, Reply)

I'm going to try this myself next week
This could be a competition. Trouble is there's a "Simon from Bradford" who quite often gets mentioned already and it's not me.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 22:01, Reply)

I've been mentioned a million times
in the olden days I was on a few times each week and won a couple of competitions. There was one time when they came round to my flat to see if they could broadcast from there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 22:02, Reply)

Srz? Golly
Feeling overwhelmed!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 22:04, Reply)

I'm like a celebrity

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 22:05, Reply)

I didn't know "Annie from Swansea" then so it never clicked
Gaz on it's way
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 22:05, Reply)

I'm missing all the fun by playing Ludo with the bairn and the mrs.
That's all the fun I can handle at the moment ;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 22:03, Reply)

I iz back

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:23, Reply)

Where you haz been?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:43, Reply)

Tits!
Night all.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Jan 2012, 21:51, Reply)

nighty night

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 22:04, Reply)