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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning all
I seem to be early today.


(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:08, 366 replies, latest was 17 years ago)
Morning PoD
You ok?
I over slept so was half an hour late for work this morning.
I'm the first one in though so hopefully no one will find out!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:13, Reply)
That's quite impressive
I'm not bad. Up early as I'm taking another load of stuff up to my flat in about half an hour.

Hopefully this will get everything that's left up there.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:17, Reply)
How many trips
have you done now? Rather you than me if I'm honest!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:21, Reply)
This will be trip 3
3 and a half technically.

Nearly there now though, and my room is looking mighty bare.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:22, Reply)
Goodest of mornings to you
Bah. Back at work again. No fun.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:25, Reply)
morning K2k6
Boooo to work! Hopefully we'll be able to keep you entertained.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:30, Reply)
Smash up the radio
Do it.....Or be ear raped for another day...
(GirlOfTheWorld, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:32, Reply)
Yes, I dare say you will, lusty :)
But my boss will be in soon, so I don't get so much b3tatime when he's around.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:32, Reply)
The only sound in my office
is me talking to myself.

The radio is staying off until the overseer gets here.
If I smashed it up my murder would be on the news.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:35, Reply)
Couldn't you do something subtle to it?
If it were me, I'd have it in bits and whip out a resistor or something so it didn't work. Or worked really badly so that it had to be thrown out.

If a new one appeared, then repeat. Then I'd suggest that there's something wrong with the electrics which keeps on blowing the radios.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:37, Reply)
morning folks
looking like it's going to be a nice sunny day
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:39, Reply)
Weather's ok here
And I'm away to pack the car and then go.

See y'all later on.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:42, Reply)
Hmph, it's dull and damp here.
PoD, wouldn't it have been a better idea to have hired a Transit van for a day? The cost of the van would have been more than gained back by the amount of fuel you've burned running up and down to Glasgow! And you'd only have had to have done one trip.

Not that it matters now of course, as you've pretty much got it done!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:47, Reply)
K2k6
My intelligence is on a par with that of a spoon.
I wouldn't even know where to start when it came to taking the radio apart.

I think on my last day here I shall simply wee on it.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:48, Reply)
*hands lusty a screwdriver and a spoon*
Morning all. I'm armed to the tooth today:

Orange Juice
Paracetamol
Convonia

I will beat this chest infection and I'll beat it before it gets bad!

Muahahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:51, Reply)
^ I agree with k2k6
A couple of weeks ago when I moved I hired a Vauxhall Vivaro (same size as SWB Transit) from 1car1.com. It cost £25 to hire it for 24 hours, and £15 worth of diesel. A no-brainer really.

I've not managed to find any real reason why they're so much cheaper than most of the other hire companies, but I'm not complaining.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:52, Reply)
@lusty
Taking a radio apart is usually easily accomplished using a screwdriver. Once inside, wrench out random components and wires.

Weeing would also probably achieve the desired result.

Word of warning though - before commencing either task, unplug the radio!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:53, Reply)
K2k6
I shall remember to unplug the radio first.
I'm sure electricity and wee don't mix very well.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:58, Reply)
Morning all :)
When we moved we hired a sprinter van! It was awesome! Although we had so much shit we had to do three trips...

Think it was 40 squid for two days :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:01, Reply)
Crowbar
You can take anything apart with a big enough crowbar.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:04, Reply)
Morning Kaol
I find that the crowbar works best if it is carefully sized to the object being rent asunder. Too big a crowbar would be unwieldy with a small radio.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:06, Reply)
k2k6
I suppose it depends how extensively you want to take it apart.

I expect that the bigger the crow bar the more the radio would be taken apart.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:07, Reply)
when I moved I enlisted two of my mates
who came with a sprinter and a vito

it was awesome, only cost us a crate of beer and a chinese takeaway!

morning Kaol, TGB, others :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:08, Reply)
Hey guys
I'd love to drive a white van all day. And as there aren't many women van drivers all the guy van drivers let me out all the time!

A van or a HGV, because no one fucks with them.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:10, Reply)
The ideal white van
is one which is covered in scratch marks of various different colours.

Nobody will cut you up when you're drving one of those. Ever.

@TGB - around here there are loads of women driving vans. Especially the small local delivery vans.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)
Well you live in a freak area
as statistically there aren't that many.

A scratched van or a royal mail van, those bastards are crazy!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:15, Reply)
*grins*
I used to drive a very old (1969) Land Rover.
Nobody fucks with you in one of those.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:15, Reply)
HGVs are awesome
I've got the magical C+E category on my driving licence, meaning I can drive a 44-tonne artic.

The tractor units are great inside - they're nicer than my living room. Big comfy seats, microwave, fridge, bed, tv, etc.

On a couple of occasions I've driven a 610bhp Volvo FH16 tractor *without* a trailer. It's a right giggle - you can burn cars off at the lights :-)
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)
If you're so worried about getting cut up
Why not just get a road legal tank?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:20, Reply)
biggest thing I've driven
was my singer's beaten up high top LWB transit

the thing is a death trap. can't open the doors to begin with, then once you are in they keep popping open while driving...

was a nightmare
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:21, Reply)
Duckie is there anything you
haven't driven!?

A tank would be awesome! I'd adapt it to fire kittens *evil laughter*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:23, Reply)
A mate of mine had a
Very old Golf.
The passenger door would open going round corners, or if he braked suddenly.
We drove from Surrey to Cornwall in it :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:24, Reply)
@TGB
I've never driven a Reliant Robin. It'd be worth it for the sheer comedy factor though.

I quite fancy driving a tank too. Closest I've got so far is driving an Alvis Stalwart across central London. It was the easiest drive through London I've ever had, as everyone stayed well out of my way :)
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:29, Reply)
Morning
What a great start to the day. Whoever manufactured my new clock radio is a c**t.
The 'snooze' button is right next to the 'off' button.
Guess what I did?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:30, Reply)
Morning all!
Having only recently passed my test, I haven't had the opportunity to drive many fun things, certainly nothing as fun as what Mr Rubberduck drives most days!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:30, Reply)
Morning all
Rubberduck, you can drive a Chieftain tank just outside Warwick. It's pretty cheap too!

How are we all today?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:37, Reply)
heh
I was driving home a while back and there is a relatively steep hill up to a village with an island at the bottom.

As I got to the island a reliant robin was going round followed by about 5 cars, and proceeded up this hill.

It's a 60mph road.
It was managing about 32mph.

Every time I looked in my mirror there was another car at the end of the queue. And it must have been some Ferrari day because at the end of the queue before I lost site of it round a corner were three Ferraris!

I had images of them razzing past and tipping the reliant over...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:38, Reply)
pinky
that sucks. I haven't done that for a while!

I could do with it though. too many early mornings!

Driving different stuff is fun, unless like me you end up mostly driving a variety of shitty little hire cars, like corsas, puntos and whatever the renault equivalent is....

I've started asking for automatic hire cars because they usually upgrade you which means a chance of a passat or maybe a Merc.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:38, Reply)
Robin Reliants
Rabbits really hate those darned things.
First they learn to crouch between the headlights, then somebody invents the 3-wheeler.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:39, Reply)
Rabbits...
Hit two last night.

One of the problems of living in the countryside.

*shrugs*

I'm an agent of natural selection.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:41, Reply)
Morning all
I've got a mate who totalled his first brand new car by flipping it over and into a ditch in the wilds of Surrey.

He was very cagey about what caused the accident and when he finally told us we took the piss out of him right royally.

He swerved to avoid a rabbit in the road!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:50, Reply)
I used to have a pet bunny
She got through a hole in the fence at easter when I was 9.

I'm fine with it though, I know it's because she's actually the easter bunny so she went off to go and do easter bunny things.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:51, Reply)
Never hit a rabbit
But several pheasants and a few pigeons. One of which few up as I was happy zooming down a country road hitting the windscreen, rolling over the roof of the car and bouncing off on to the car behind.

I did do a bit of a girly shriek as I have several large chips and was convinced it had cracked the windscreen. Luckily it had not.

My letting agency is pissing me off big time. *simmers*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 9:58, Reply)
Well hullo there!
What larks!

The biggest thing I've ever driven? A combine harvester. Great fun, I highly recommend it.

I also hold a gilder pilots licence, which is quite cool too.

Are we all well? Dance for me! Dance!

(PS, I don't think I'll be able to come to ze bash tonight...:()

EDIT: I have never, to my knowledge, run over an animal. But I have been run over, if that counts.

AND: There, there, TGB. They're all gits. *soothes*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:00, Reply)
TGB
Your namesake is one of the worst to hit.
I've seen a few write-offs due to badger strike.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)
I've hit:
A small deer.
A blackbird.
A cat.
Rabbits.
A fox.
A duck.
Pigeons.
Pheasants.
Partridges.
A badger.
A frog.

I wish I hadn't hit the frog. Frogs are awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)
my mrs hit a rabbit in the old (white) car
sprayed blood all up the side

my mum used to have a bright blue convertible suzuki jeep some time ago. she was driving me to plymouth to get a ferry at about 4 in the morning and a herd of deer ran across the dual carriageway. she screeched to a halt and a few deer ran into the car

that was quite funny
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:02, Reply)
Kaol
You missed out 3 french hens & 2 turtle doves.
Have you ever crashed your car swerving to hit an animal?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:04, Reply)
Yeah because
badgers are vindictive things and if you take them down they are going to take your car down! *makes some street hand signals* yeah!

A guy at Oxford once hit a deer, but being a country type he put it in the boot, hung it up when he got home and we all had yummy venison stew a few weeks later :D
His car smelt really bad for ages though

*dances for DiT*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:04, Reply)
Morning all
How's it going?

The only thing I managed to hit was a lamp post during my first driving lesson. I haven't driven since.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:05, Reply)
Continuing the theme
I totalled a Jaguar XJ by barrelling into a stag at 125mph.

I was on the apex of a long, sweeping bend on our test track and hard on the throttle for the next straight. A stag ran out of the trees ahead of me and across the track, straight into the path of my car.

It pretty much exploded on impact, made a right old mess of the front of the car and the antlers ended up embedded in the passenger-side A-post, nicely smashing the windscreen in the process.

Fortunately, I was unharmed. That is, if you can call having deer brains and blood splattered up the left hand side of my torso unharmed.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:10, Reply)
Oneinthepink
I've never swerved to avoid an animal.
I'll brake sometimes, if there's nobody behind me.

The deer and badger were hit when I was driving my old Land Rover, so there was no damage to the car.
The deer was also delicious, after I killed it with a hammer that I had in the back.

That makes me sound like a monster :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)
Good morning.
I've only been driving 5 years and I'm 43.


Your never to old to learn : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:15, Reply)
Kaol
No that makes you humane.

I've had to put a few animals down because of cars the worst being rabbits. They cry like small children :(
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)
Kaol
it makes you send sensible

I have to report that on listening to the first track on the new metallica album that I fucking love it.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)
With the increase in food bills
This thread is giving me some ideas...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:17, Reply)
Thanks Herr Dok :)
The worst was when I had to kill a cat that I saw get hit by a car.
It was bleeding everywhere, and the organs were hanging out and broken :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:18, Reply)
Oh and I hit a small boy once.
But it's ok because it wasn't my fault and I was driving very slowly so he wasn't badly hurt.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:18, Reply)
Hahaha!
Did you put him out of his misery and take him home to eat?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)
Kaol
you saw a cat get hit by a cat?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)
BGB
I hope you put it out of it's misery.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)
BGB
Your post above that says: "Your never to old to learn" makes me laugh and cry at the same time!

I've never hit a person, I've tried on several occasions but failed :(

And Kaol venison is yummy, if I had a landrover I would go looking for some to hit!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)
Shut your filthy mouth Vipros! Lies!
It's early.
I've not had coffee yet :P
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)
There wasn't much meat on him so I let him run off.
Still shook me up a fair bit though.

@Grammar badger, Why!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:24, Reply)
TGB
If you missed them then you're not trying hard enough.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:24, Reply)
@ Kaol
I've shot most of the stuff on your list, apart from a frog. Never shot a frog. Labia - rabbit is my second favourite meat.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:24, Reply)
that made me laugh
which is good


(still loving the new metallica album)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)
For the record
I've never hit a cat, thankfully. But I have hit:

a dog
pheasants
partridges
sparrows
swallows
rabbits
frogs
a badger, and
a teenage chavette (which was the least distressing of all)

There may be more. I've been in a car which hit a deer and the car was pretty badly damaged, as it was a roe buck. Mind you, the deer suffered even more damage. We'd no room in the boot, otherwise it would have come with us for the next night's dinner.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)
I'm glad you like it
Mr. V!
It's no St. Anger, is it?
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)
Himjim
You were so close to saying that you liked rabbit labia ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)
Venison is the best meat there is IMO
I'm starting my DSC (deer stalking cert) next year. Should be fun.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)
himjim
Yeah rabbit is tasty. Back when I was young we used to breed rabbits for the pot, we had to give a lot away to friends and family though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:27, Reply)
If people are stupid enough to
run out in front of cars then they deserve to be hit.


Some drunk fuelled chavvy bastard once jumped out in front of me and yelled as I didn't hit him because "I need to sue somebody innit for the money innit" Sadly this story is true and makes me fear for society.

Damn my slow internet: BGB: crying because of the awful grammar. Laughing at the slight irony that you are never too old to learn it ;)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:28, Reply)
I've never tried rabbit labia
*puts on list*

*goes to butcher*

*asks for rabbit labia*

*gets arrested*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:30, Reply)
Good morning everyone
May I recommend rabbit curry?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:36, Reply)
You may recommend it :)
What kind of curry?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:36, Reply)
I was hit by a bus a few years ago.
I bounced off it and landed on a dog shit at the side of the road. Bad times.

My mates did take me to the pub and bought my drinks all night though to make up for the stress. Good times.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:37, Reply)
Let me see....
A nice jal-fur-ezi?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:38, Reply)
*spangs*
*shakes head slowly*

I'd go for a Sag. Sag is awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:39, Reply)
I was run over by a Vauxhall Tigra.
The car was more damaged than I was! ;)

Although it was the biggest bruise I'd ever had. The Ambulance crew said I should have at least broken something the speed she hit me at, but I just bounced off for some reason. The doctor told me not to drink that night because of shock, but I did anyway. 2 pints and I was soused!


(And then the bitch driving it decided she would try to make me pay for the cost of repair. How about no!)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:39, Reply)
@GB
My grammar may be crap but at least I drive a decent car : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)
@BGB
Didn't you say you had a Laguna?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)
DiT
what a stupid bint!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)
@K2K6
Not any more.

I have a BMW. It's old but a great car.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:45, Reply)
I want a bmw
I intend to get one for my next car
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:47, Reply)
I want a car.
Full stop.

But if I'm moving to London, no real point, it's just another expense.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:48, Reply)
@Vipros
Exactly!

I endured months of, by turn, nice, pleading, and eventually threatening 'phone calls - as she inferred my acceptance of responsibility by saying the word 'sorry' while lying on my back in the road after she'd barrelled in to me at 20 miles an hour.

It's true what they say though. Time really does go all slow and weird when bad things happen. I remember having the time to think "Oh dear. If I just turn like this and get a hand on the bonnet like this, then this won't hurt too much". I managed that, and also remember seeing her face as I hit the bonnet and rolled up on the windscreen. I remember the feeling as gravity took over while she was braking, and the point where time went normal again was when my shoulder hit the tarmac and tor my suit jacket open.

Good times!

Oh no, wait, it was shit!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:48, Reply)
Well I am only young :)
I am saving up for my Aston!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:48, Reply)
Good move
I fancy a Beemer too. They're a bit expensive, but given that I've just spent £1000 in the last couple of weeks keeping my bloody Laguna on the road, it's probably worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:49, Reply)
I'm desperate for a car...
London or no, I have to have one. Right now I'd be happy of anything.

But I have my eye on an Alfa MiTo in January. Still a pipe dream though!

I'd love an Aston one day... But being able to buy a house is quite important too!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:51, Reply)
One of the plus sides to living with my parents
Is that I get to borrow my Dad's car lots :D

3-litre Jags FTW!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:52, Reply)
DiT
that sounds pretty crazy. can't believe that someone would have the gall to try and get you to pay!

I intend to get a bmw 320d sport estate. depends on when my Toledo dies though. hopefully not for a while!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)
I was given the BMW.
And I was given the Laguna.

The BMW was my grandads, who is our company secretary and before that it was owned by the guy who owned the business my step-dad now has.

If there's a car going spare in this place then I usually get it : )



Small perk of the job.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)
I adore my Ka
It's my first car, chosen because it's cheap to run and insure (new driver, 0 no claims), but it handles like a go-kart!

I'm not much of a car nut, but I'd love a classic Beetle.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)
My mate has just
Got a 3-series BMW.
Somehow.

*shrugs*

It's blue with a cream leather interior.
He's fed up with my pimp jokes now.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)
My last car
Was a Prius Smugmobile. The fuel consumption was nothing like they claimed. Unless its the way I drive.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:55, Reply)
Depends on the BMW
Anything with M3 in the name is all kinds of win!

Or an old 2002 or one of the 2800 CS... mmmm retro goodness. Old cars FTW

Yay I have persuaded someone to buy a Mitsubishi Galant!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:56, Reply)
Labia
Beetles are cool, but they aren't great to drive

that said, I'd still love one.

my oldest bro is a Beetle nut, he had two nice ones. cost a lot though...

and a sheep jumped on one...

he's just got an Audi TT convertible. I don't much like the look of the old ones, but it is fucking cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:56, Reply)
@Labia
I've got a Ka too. Would love to get something else but I've more important things to consider like finding somewhere to live -_-

Still, it gets me from A - B and I get between 40 and 45 MPG from it so I'm not too bothered.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:57, Reply)
A Prius
is only going to give you better consumption in stop-start town traffic. On the open road, you're better with a normal car, because it's lighter and more efficient.

Edit - FWIW, I had a hired Ka once when my car was off the road for a bit, and hated it. It was slow, had no room in it, jumped around scarily on corners and burned more fuel than my own much bigger diesel motor.

But I did discover it could do 55mph in 2nd gear before the limiter cut in...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:57, Reply)
Vipros
Is that a new TT? Or the old, hairdresser one?

The guy that was a cunt to me at work yesterday has on old TT in dark green, looks horrible.

We call it the "Algae TT".
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:58, Reply)
economy
my Seat Toledo 1.9Tdi can get 60mpg doing 60 on a twisty A road with climate control on, and 4 surfboards on the roof.

fuck those fucking Priuses

and my car doesn't look like a piece of shit

edit: Kaol: it is the old shape, in silver. I'm not fond of the outside, but sitting in it makes me want one.

I'm hoping that I might be able to buy my old man's Z3 in a couple of years time. they are a bit hairdresserish, but they have a classic sports car thing about them that I love.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:59, Reply)
Prius
The only time I was in a really bad traffic jam the battery level got really low. If that went flat it would be a disaster.
@Vipros - I wouldn't have another one, but they don't look that bad!
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 10:59, Reply)
I long for a Mustang too...
And I'm a big fan of the GT.

EDIT: What K2k6 said about Priuses. Priii? Prioose? Priusena? Who knows.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:00, Reply)
My BMW is a 325 I SE.
Is that good or bad. I dunno.

As long as I've got something to drive, I don't really care what it is.

My first car was a Daewoo.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:02, Reply)
Morning!
Hello hello hello!
How are you all today? I've just had a final round job interview and have stocked up on salt and vinegar pringles and sweets to wait for the call!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)
A 325i SE
is the business, BGB.


I fancy a 520d touring, myself. The new ones have 177bhp, and can return 53mpg, while having enough room in the boot for a band's worth of gear.

All that for £31k.

*gulps*

*faints*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:03, Reply)
BMWs are OK
As long as they're not:

- An E36 (the 3-series from 1991 to 1998). They're all monumentally shit in every way imagineable

- 4 cylinders. A BMW should have a straight 6, a V8, a V10 or a V12. The others are no better than any other car, and in many cases they're worse.

There's other specific cases, but they're the general ones.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)
@k2k6
The lurching about can be a bit 'orrible it must be said.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)
Ah Mustangs
The ones I like (67 fastbacks) are either over 15k or would need so much work doing I would never leave my garage, then probably be too scared to drive it!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)
my first car was a VW Polo
the boxy one in classic faded crap VW red

great car. VW ftw!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)
Yup, VW FTW
I'll probably end up buying a Passat rather than the BMW, as it's a lot less expensive.

Edit @Captain V - I find a lot of small cars seem to handle like this. Being used to bigger vehicles, it's a bit unnerving for me!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:06, Reply)
Morning LVP
Hope the interview went well, and that they call you back to offer you the job soon!

Ooh, I'd love a Mustang, or a Dodge, some great big American muscle car. Hugely impractical, but they look so damn cool.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:07, Reply)
My car is the business?
*glees*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:07, Reply)
I'd like a Capri
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:08, Reply)
VW vs BMW
not as nice to drive though

rear wheel drive all the way!

I don't much like the look of the new Passat either. if I was looking for one of those I'd definitely buy a Skoda Octavia instead.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:08, Reply)
Hello
Anyone want to buy an analytics business (mine)?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:09, Reply)
VW vs BMW?
I'd take the Mondeo. Badge aside, it's a better car in every way.

VW are trading on a reputation of reliability. A reputation that hasn't been true for at least 15 years. They're lower than class average.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)
@k2k6
I'll probably be quite comfortable with the lurching for some time to come considering the only two cars I've owned are a J reg renault clio with a leaking roof and my current Ka. The next car(s) I'd like to own are a VW Golf and a (proper) mini cooper.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)
Broom broom
Car talk eh? I used to have a Subaru Justy and I loved it like a child. It loved hills and had optional 4 wheel drive, there was a button in the gear stick to turn it on.
*nostalgic sigh*

Now I drive mr VPs peugeot 106. :(
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)
From a practical point of view
the Octavia isn't as handy as the Passat. It has a large step in the boot floor, which would be a major problem for me, as I have a lot of heavy gear to hump in and out of it.

But I won't be buying a new car for a while. I've still to decide between the aforementioned vehicles, and several other contenders, including:

Mazda 6
Honda Accord
Ford Mondeo
Vauxhall Insignia (not out yet)

and possibly some others. This will be great fun when it comes to buying time.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)
Kaol
Make sure it is the 2.8 injection one then, don't faff about with the stupid laser ones!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)
Mondeo
I find Fords horribly plasticy inside, and there are other little niggles like the air vents not being movable enough.

we have two focus estates as pool cars at work and they are pretty much inferior to my Seat in every way.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)
The laser ones
Are cheap though...
And the insurance is lower...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)
I've got
...a Landie (not much use, but Henry loves it) and a wee Audi A4.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)
@Vipros
The Octavia is a smaller car than the Passat though. It's based on the Golf.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)
@rubberduck
Any car I buy will be more reliable than my Laguna, so I'm not that bothered!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)
Vipros
I've got the mental image in my head now of you zooming along the motorway on an office chair controlled with a small joystick on the arm.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:13, Reply)
Octavia vs Passat
My direct reference has been the old shape Passat against the new Octavia, which are pretty similar in size. Not had much to do with the new Passat other than a brief hire car stint.

I withdraw my comment!

Captain V: I'd rather drive my office chair than the ford focus. my chair is pretty nice ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:15, Reply)
The most fun car I ever owned
Was my 'destroy the environment' V6 LPG converted Trooper. Proper redneck wagon.

Or the '74 Rover P6.

The VW reputation for reliability hasn't really been true since about 1998. Same for Mercedes. You start building 'German' cars outside Germany....
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:15, Reply)
Well I've exhausted my car vocabulary so I'm off to stalk some b3tans.
Catch you later.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:17, Reply)
@ Vipros
The old Passat is still miles bigger than the new Octavia. the new octavia is marginally bigger than the old, but they are both on Golf floorplans, the MKiV and MKV respectively.

The Passat shares a floorplan with the A6 and the Superb and is consequently a lot bigger.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:17, Reply)
Osok
the reliability thing seems to be true of Audis as well. Everyone I know with one has had quite a few expensive problems!

Not so with BMWs, another reason to buy one.

I'm kind of limited though, because I will never ever own a Vauxhall, I won't buy anything French again unless it's another 205, and I just plain don't like Fords...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:17, Reply)
I didn't think the old Passat was really any bigger than the Octavia
but I will take your words for it
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:18, Reply)
Yeah
Grr, manly car talk.
Anyone want to talk about sweets or cake or kittehs with me? I don't understand car talk.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:20, Reply)
@the mighty badger
Just to complicate matters further, the current B6 Passat is based on a stretched Golf platform with a transverse engine rather than the longitudinally-engined B5 Passat (which *was* based on the same platform as an older Audi A4).

The Audi A6 doesn't share its floorpan with any other model in the VAG stable.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:20, Reply)
VWs = win
Unhelpful absent technicians = fail.

*stomps off to glare at cables*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:21, Reply)
Vipros
Buy Japanese.

(Bear in mind I say this as someone who worked for Mercedes for 6 years, VW before that, and also Vauxhall/Saab).

They might not be interesting or exciting in most cases, but for sheer boring start every time and keep the rain off motoring, they make sense.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)
haha
It's all going to get reeeeeeaaaaly technical with duckie and mighty badger.

I think we all know a grammar badger is better than a mighty badger as well :p Although both have a love of b series engines :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:24, Reply)
Did someone say....
cars? What's the problem? and how can I help?
(The Stig, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)
I'd really like a Honda NSX
one of the things that has kept me with VAG stuff for a while is that my bro has a friend who is a really good mechanic, particularly for VAG stuff, so I get things done cheap.

I'd be after a sporty diesel estate. any recommendations for a japanese one?

plus, I like a leather steering wheel.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)
LVP
The car talk went swiftly over my head, my knowledge of cars extends to putting petrol in, driving one, and watching Halfords Monkeys take an hour to change my stereo.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)
Ha ha
We had VAG and LabiaMajora juxtaposed there.

/smut
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:27, Reply)
Vipros
Saab 9-3 Sportwagon? It's got the GM/Fiat diesel which is rather nice, although allegedly they go pop at about 80k, come loaded with kit, and have the world's comfiest seats. Loads of specialists around to service them as the dealer network is teeny, and as it's generic GM bits, the parts aren't as horribly expensive as they were when I had a 900.

Just do not ever buy new - the depreciation is scary.

Eds: Japanese and diesel? The problem is they have tended to make such efficient petrol engines that you have to do some serious miles to earn back the price differential, hence nobody bothered with the old Toyota diesels until they brought in the D4D.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:28, Reply)
LM
Yep me too. I watch Top Gear too. Does that count?!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:29, Reply)
Osok
meant to say for a japanese car there!

I've considered those Saabs before, and they are quite nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:29, Reply)
@Vipros
You'll be wanting a Subaru Legacy diesel estate then.

I love them. The whole idea of a boxer diesel engine appeals to my perverted side.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)
Nings all *yawn*
My bro is selling his purple pillarless BMW coupe for £1800.

And my mate ran over a weasel on a motorbike. I mean, of all the things to hit something on a bike must be the most difficult, and of all the things to hit, a weasel must without doubt be the hardest. It makes me giggle, which (as a vegetablarian) makes me feel like a bad person.

Also, I have been run over too. I didn't like it.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)
diesel powertrains
vipros,

VW Passat circa 2000 are quite good buys, specially diesels. Remember, a diesel powertrain starts to break in at about 100,000 miles. But ALWAYS check that the timing chain is in good condition. Do this especially if the engine has a timing belt rather than a chain.

Japanese and German diesel powertrains are the best. But if you want reliability, go Japanese. Germans are lousy.
(The Stig, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)
LVP
So do I, and I enjoy it, but I can keep up with that because they throw a lot of beardy jargon out the window, in favour of using bizarre metaphors.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:32, Reply)
I'd forgotten about Subarus!
Stig: I've got a Seat Toledo diesel at the moment which has the 110bhp VW diesel engine in it. great for cruising, but not quite enough poke to it ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:33, Reply)
Weasel on a motorbike?
That's amazing!
Ten points to him!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:34, Reply)
Rubberduck
Another scooby fan (well, forester/legacy anyway). Finding one that doesn't stink of labrador second hand is a bastard, though.

eds: Vipros the 110 can be chipped quite readily to give you about 130bhp ish. IIRC Seat dealers used to sell these, while we at VW weren't allowed to.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:34, Reply)
warmfuzzy
Aren't weasels small? Or am I thinking of something else?

LM - ha. beardy jargon. I love a good bizarre metaphor.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)
@LVP
Yes, weasels are small, nifty and sort of slinky.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:36, Reply)
Ace.
In that case, that's quite a talent to hit one with a motorbike!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:38, Reply)
Weasels are about the size of a rat,
If you rolled it into a cigar-shape tube.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:38, Reply)
Anyway, to jump back in time a bit
Or at least up the thread, if you're going to hit a deer with your car, make sure it's a muntjac. Best tasting venison ever, by a long way. Yummy.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:39, Reply)
Can't you tell a Weasel
by its white tummy fur?
(Errorist, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:40, Reply)
I have to add that to my roadkill list
I did hit a weasel once with my car. Well, it may have been a stoat, but it was that sort of beast.

And I've squashed several mice, which always seem to scurry across the road, get almost to the other side, spot the car coming and turn back the way they came.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:40, Reply)
Morning all
by the way!
(Errorist, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:41, Reply)
Deer
I did consider trying to salvage a couple of venison steaks from the stag I hit, but it appears that hitting a stag at that speed turns it into instant minced venison.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:41, Reply)
Kaol
That's the best description of a weasel that I've heard!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:42, Reply)
Osok
That's what I hit, but I couldn't spell it.
So I wrote "small deer".

As I said, I hit it hard enough in my Series II to break it's legs on the steel box-section that passes for a bumper.

Then I had to kill it by hitting it in the head with a claw hammer.

They're vicious bastards, what with those fangs and everything.

EDIT: Lucy, that's because I'm a Zoologist :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:42, Reply)
I'm surprised
you didn't use a knife to dispatch it Kaol?
(Errorist, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:44, Reply)
Weasel/stoat
A weasel is the smaller of the two - 20cm (head & body) with a tail 5 - 7cm long.
A stoat can be distinguished by the black tip on the tail.

They both have a creamy underside (colour not dairy product).
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:44, Reply)
fangs?
Kaol have you been running over werewolves again?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:45, Reply)
They're tough little buggers
Almost armour-plated. I once spent a very hot afternoon chasing one of the little sods that had been clipped by a car, and they can go a lot faster on 3 legs than I can on 2.

Which is why rifles were invented.


And yes, the males have fangs/tusks, which look quite spooky.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:45, Reply)
Considering I live in the wild countryside
I've done well at not hitting things in cars.

I try to send out a thought projection ahead of me along the lines of "mad woman driving coming though! get out the fucking way!"

I also stop to relocate any animals I find in the road which don't seem to want to move of their own accord, particularly toads for some reason. And lickle baalams, which are even stupider than pheasants.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:46, Reply)
Oh but
I did royally squish a rabbit once... :(
The car in front of me hit it, and it was thrashing around so I did a mercy killing on it.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:48, Reply)
Errorist
They're too bitey!

I wanted to do it as quick as possible too, be humane and all that.

Plus I got all the slicing I could ever want when I cut the meat off.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:49, Reply)
The difference
Weasels are weaselly recognisable, stoats are stoatally different.

*shoots self in head*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:49, Reply)
Pheasants
I have a theory that they're evolving into flightless birds.
The ones that fly upwards get shot, the ones that run on the floor don't get shot and can continue to breed.
I have seen it numerous times where the pheasant will run away rather than fly away.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:50, Reply)
Fair point,
Glad you still got to hone your butchery skill though!
(Errorist, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:51, Reply)
I suspect
that they are evolving into extinct birds :(

I see millions squished on the road round here.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:52, Reply)
Peasants. Sorry, pheasants
I think they are naturally ground-living in their original habitat, as they only have about 6 seconds of 'flap' before they run out of puff and have to glide.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)
*picks up Lab's corpse*
*guts and hangs it*

*waits a week, sharpening knives*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)
As long as it was just with
the foam dart gun Lab :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:54, Reply)
Yes TGB, although that still hurts!
I wonder if I can still snipe a colleague with the foam dart shotgun?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:56, Reply)
Greetings
I write to you from my new flat, with working internets and set up computers and everything.

And k2k6, from way up there ^, they probably wouldn't have hired me a van as I'm only 21. Don't know for sure though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:56, Reply)
Kaol
A week? Treat long pig like hare - wait until the maggots drop out of the nostrils, then you know it's ready to use....




(If you're cooking traditional jugged hare)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)
PoD
they almost certainly wouldn't have hired you one!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)
Hi PoD
Congratulations on the move :)

Seems I can still headshot a colleague, although he doesn't look best pleased, and he's refusing to give me back the foam bullets :/
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:59, Reply)
Really?
Ok, I'll remember that thanks!

I guess you can bleed 'em first, and make a good amount of Black Pudding to enjoy while you're waiting.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)
haha
tell him unless he does you will be forced to improvise with ever you can find!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)
Afternoon folks
All this talk of hitting creatures forced my hand to tell this story.

About 15 or so years ago, my mum hit a deer while driving along some twisty Berkshire back roads, writing off my dad's new-ish, company provided Audi 80.

She'd only been driving for a year or two at the time and was obviously upset by this. A swift phonecall to a friend meant she was bought home pretty quickly, only to walk in the front door and hear my dad playing "Who Killed Bambi?" by the Sex Pistols at neighbour-annoying volumes.

He was not the most popular person in the house for a little while!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:06, Reply)
And a few savoury snacks
From the bits that plop out when you 'unzip' them. I would give recipes but that would be offal.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:07, Reply)
Mmmmm offal
Heart and liver is always good.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:09, Reply)
Mmmm...
I had stuffed heart a while back.

It wasn't actually that nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Don't forget
Chitterlings, sweetbreads, tripe, kidney, suet and so forth - Mrs Beeton would be quite cross with you
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)
@rubberduck
hugely late on this one I know, but I've got to head off and buy the Galant TGB has convinced me to get :P

The B5 passat does share a basic floorpan with the A6, cos until the 2002 A4 update the A4 ran on the same basic floorpan as the A6, but with the A6 slightly stretched. The Passat is def bigger than the old A4, at least inside and in boot space, couldn't tell you on wheelbase.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)
@PoD
As Vipros says, probably you wouldn't have been able to hire a van from most places, although Arnold Clark will hire you a light commercial (i.e. a Transit) at age 21, provided you sign up for the £250 insurance excess.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:13, Reply)
pft you didn't need much convincing :p
I do like liver and onions nom nom and steak and kidney pie nom nom

And I once (unknowingly) are sheeps brains which weren't very nice but apparently very good for you. So that's ok then.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)
@TGB
The sheep's brains would be highly nutritious, but would carry the risk of scrapie infection, the ovine equivalent of BSE/CJD.

Don't know if that link has yet been proven (Kaol?) but it's strongly suspected to be a means of transferring the disease.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)
Pretty unlikely
Mr. K.

I don't think the prions are analogous.

EDIT: Unless you're implying I have Scrapie. In which case, fuck you!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)
No
I wasn't implying you have a brain wasting disease, Kaol! I was merely tapping into your superior biological knowledge.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:21, Reply)
I thought so :p
But then I re-read.
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)
Actually
given the number of cheap burgers I ate during the '80s, I'm surprised I haven't got any sort of disaese tha's watsing my brian awy to ntiohng so I cna't witre proerply any mroe.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:25, Reply)
Well they were from Tescos
I wasn't randomly eating sheep brains out in the field so I think I'll be ok.

*taps on Kaols head. Notes echoy noise*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:26, Reply)
TGB
Echoy?

Sounds like a noise Jackie Chan would make whilst smiting an assailant.... or a remote Scottish island populated by sinister monks and their de-brained sheep.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:28, Reply)
Thanks...
Thanks a lot guys :(

I've only got my brain to rely on.
And now it's gone maggoty.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:28, Reply)
WTF?
Tesco sells sheep's brains?

Is this true? Is this the Ulan Bator branch of Tesco, or one in the UK?

*makes note to have a look on next visit to TescoUlan Bator*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)
what's a sheep?
what's a brain? what's a disease?

ooh look a shiny thing!

*dribbles*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:35, Reply)
Aaargh!
Head + wall = relief

Just found myself in an ironic situation, which I prolly can't talk about here, ironically.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:37, Reply)
Have you been
stealing from the bar HLT?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:37, Reply)
The sheep-brain
Pies.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:39, Reply)
What the hell is going on.
I went out at lunchtime at the summer seems to have arrived.

*gets bikini out of drawer*



*laughs hysterically*



*puts bikini in bin*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)
Well, it's cold
Here.

I'm glad of my coat.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:43, Reply)
Can't think of a way to shoe horn this into the QOTW
So look at this cartoon
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:44, Reply)
Sun
It's a glorious day here, although sadly all I can do is stare through the barred windows forlornly.

What the hell happened to our summer? I was looking forward to a couple of months of sun, smiles, and cute women in strappy vest tops.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:45, Reply)
That's a fair question Mr. Lab.
I have no idea, but I don't really like hot weather, so it's fine.

I do like ice cream though.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:46, Reply)
I'm going out now
so I'll let you know what the temperature's like here when I return.

Looking out my window at people walking by, I suspect it's somewhere between cold and cool.

I also now have a mental* image of BGB in a bikini.

*pick your own meaning
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:47, Reply)
For God's sake K2K6.
You DO NOT want to see me in a bikini.


Clothed I can look quite nice but nekkid is just for me and my mother to experience.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:50, Reply)
Tesco's did sell sheep brains
When I worked there which was about 7 years ago. I am pretty sure they still sell them but I never really have the need to check..
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)
This all seems quite civilised.
What a shame.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:02, Reply)
Clendrix
Who are you inviting into your lair bed?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:07, Reply)
*runs around screaming*
*smashes some furniture up*
*sets fire to the curtains*

Better Clendrix :) I didn't realise there were any hot B3tans? hahah :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:12, Reply)
That's refreshing!
Thanks Badger!

Aah, can't tell...you might all want him/her/it.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:14, Reply)
@Clendrix
*wants*


Will you share?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:16, Reply)
BGB
Share? Share the info, you mean?
I certainly will but it's a secret at the moment - I'm not saying that to be annoying, I'm really not. It's just that plans need to be confirmed!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:19, Reply)
I'm back
and the temperature here is indeed on the not-warm side. There are some of our new students trying to look cool/trendy/with-it or whatever and going around un-jacketed, but they look a bit cold.

The arm-goosebumps on the t-shirt wearers tend to give it away. As do the protruding nipples!

Edit@BGB - Do you often wander around in the buff in your mother's presence? Just wondering, as it seems a bit unusual!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:20, Reply)
No Clendrix
I mean share the B3tan *laughs*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:22, Reply)
ooh excitingness!
Well good luck with your mystery man Clendrix, hope you have a good time *nudge nudge wink wink*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:22, Reply)
And I'm back.
I'm sure I was missed harder than diamond.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)
@Kaol
Tungsten carbide?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:24, Reply)
BGB
Oh yes, absolutely!

Kaol, have you had today's coffee yet?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:25, Reply)
Nope...
I've had my lunch at my desk today, but one of my mates in the office had to go to the bank, so he's getting me a quad espresso, take-out.
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:32, Reply)
I just read "tungsten carbide"
And heard "what the bloody 'ell are tungsten carbide drills?"

"It's something they use in coal mining!"

happen in my head.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:33, Reply)
tulip
I imagined that you imagined that in a cockney accent for some reason...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:36, Reply)
Kaol
Marvellous!
*takes cover*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:36, Reply)
@ vipros
nope, in Graham Chapman's northern accent.

It's a bit from a Python skit.

*sads*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:37, Reply)
Tungsten carbide
is used on drills to improve the longevity of the bit, as it's much harder than steel.

It's not as hard as diamond though. I thought it was harder, hence my comment above, but I just looked it up.


Edit@HLT - Oh, I see. My Python knowledge is lacking that particular sketch.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)
Woo!
It's arrived!

And it's "down-in-one-able" temperature.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)
*takes Kaol's pulse*
*loses count quickly*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:42, Reply)
*watches Kaol down the espresso*
*dives behind a convenient table*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:42, Reply)
*grins*
Day Four: Completed.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:43, Reply)
^
*hides under all the other b3tans*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:45, Reply)
@HLT
What's with your sigs today? I'm not understanding them at all!

*takes cover again*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:47, Reply)
Isn't Eduardo
A football player?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:48, Reply)
Noon all!
I would appreciate some hugs, if possible. I have spent the last 2 hours trying to fix our website.

I think I'm done now. But, safe to say, it's been rather a crash course in coding!

*dons gladiating gear*

Who's up for a gladiate?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:54, Reply)
*hugs*
*dons gladiator gear*

*thwumps*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:55, Reply)
*will hug for... er... hugs*
Gladiator.... *snigger*
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:56, Reply)
*manhugs for DiT*
Well, it seems safe to come up from behind the table, Kaol hasn't exploded. I was getting jabbed in the ribs by HLT a lot though, she's mean.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:57, Reply)
What's that, fuzzy?
You wish to Gladiate with me?

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

You may not know this, but I am B3ta's resident Gladiator. I gladiate things.

Cheers, Cappy V!

EDIT: *enjoys the sensation of being enveloped by Labia*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:58, Reply)
I'll go for hugs
not sure about gladiating.

*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 13:58, Reply)
DiT
Nowt wrong with gladiating, I just can't help thinking of that old puerile joke whenever I see the word.

*thwumps pugilistically*
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:00, Reply)
Afternoon folks
How's everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:02, Reply)
*twiches*
Gladiator-combat?

Cool!

*grabs sword*

*twitches again*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:02, Reply)
What joke would that be, fuzzy?
*ignorances*

What's up, BK? Keep it real! *streets*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:03, Reply)
ohh, it's been ages since we had any gladiating!
@ LabiaMajora - sorry, old fruit, were those your ribs? I couldn't help it, k2k6 was squishing me.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)
I likes me a good gladiator fight!
Knowing my luck, I'd probably be the guy who gets booned in the face with a spiky ball within the first few seconds.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)
*gladiates furiously*
A ha, I sense a gladiate-off!

*charges around like a mad woman*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)
Hey DiT
*fronts*
*words*

Feel a bit ropey today, slightly man-fluish:(
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)
oh you know
Did you hear about the Roman who *insert euphamism here* ?

He was glad 'e ate 'er.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)
Oh, sorry HLT
Didn't realise you were underneath me.

Hope my, erm, elbow wasn't poking into you too hard?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)
BK
I am in full nurse mode as Mr VP has manflu at the moment as well.

*nurses BK in a non-breastfeeding sense*

My nurse mode involves being very no nonsense and not letting him feel sorry for himself.
But then I do make lemsips and apply Vicks Vapor Rub.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:08, Reply)
@ k2k6
that was your elbow?

oh.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:09, Reply)
Yes
my 'elbow'.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:10, Reply)
@LvP
*accepts Lemsip*
*strips off for Vicks*

Okay, I'm ready!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:12, Reply)
BK
I've been told I'm not very gentle, so you have been warned!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:14, Reply)
*stalks*
!
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)
Good, I like elbows
*beams*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)
@Lucy
No problem.
If I start to rotate, just ignore it!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:16, Reply)
Argh!
What the fuck?
I'm so awesome that my stalker has a stalker?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:17, Reply)
Kaol
You are going to have a whole five-a-side team soon if you aren't careful!

BK - Don't worry, I can handle myself!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:19, Reply)
Gladiator's ready!
*cursing slightly, he tightens the straps of his leather breastplate, feeling the pressure increase on his bruised ribs. With a quiet resolve, he picks up his weapon, feeling the familiar weight and grooves of the pole, allowing his hand to gently caress up and down it's length. A smile bubbles up from the pit of his stomach to his face as he grips the shaft tightly, remembering the good times he's had with this, his most dearest of possessions.*

*His double-entendre-ridden reverie is interrupted by a sudden explosion of pain and blood, and he collapses clutching what used to be his face. As his trident falls despondently to the floor, he peers hazily through his one remaining eye, to see Kaol cackling, swinging a spiked ball and chain around his head.*

I knew that would happen!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:20, Reply)
nice LM
are you sure you aren't stalking yourself repeatedly Kaol?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:21, Reply)
*nods*
I like that Lab!

Re: Stalkers.
I have two accounts, this one, and the one that holds onto the name "Kaol" for me.
I honestly have no idea who "Kaol's Stalker" or "Kaol's Stalker's Stalker" are.

Hell of an ego-trip though :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:22, Reply)
Hah, oh God!
Good work, LM!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:22, Reply)
We are everywhere
*hides in bushes with doughnuts*
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:23, Reply)
Hahaha!
I've got enough for the 5-a-side team!
Woo!

I'm in goal.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:23, Reply)
@stalker
I know I'm not Kaol but can I have a doughnut please?

Edit - Kaol vs the world. I'd watch that match.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:24, Reply)
hey!
stop following me!
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:25, Reply)
Nice work Lab!
*holds up scorecard with a 9 on*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:25, Reply)
@al
Cheese toastie!

nom nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)
Al
Toastie Toastie Toastie!

I once heard a male friend describe a lady"friends" parts as "like opening a cheese toastie".
What an image.

Edit - Lusty - great minds!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)
Thanks all!
I was bored waiting for a script to finish, thought i'd bash out a quick one *fnarr fnarr*.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:28, Reply)
I ate
alphabetti spaghetti and waffles like a six year old the other day :)
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:28, Reply)
normally i would only give doughnuts to
kaol. but i think i can spare one for you lucy
(UK Immigration Office asking everything in triplicate on, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:28, Reply)
Oh dear god
LVP I am glad I am all of the vegan now :(
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)
Al
YES!

I'm listening to it for the second time now.

I love it.

Lucy, that is delightfully disgusting
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)
@al
Given those choices, I always go for a beans on toast, with cheese melted over the top *drools*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)
My goodness...
This is gonna get confusing.

Kaol The Magnificent = Me.

Kaol = My spare account, to stop "Kaol" getting Monkeysexed.

Kaol's Stalker = someone who loves/hates me, yet has never posted.

Kaol's Stalker's Stalker = (KSS) is someone who's stalking someone who has never posted. So I asked them to get a job in HMV, so I can get cheap Johnny Cash CDs.

Kaol's Stalker's Stalker's Stalker = (KS3) Kinda like a photocopy of a photocopy. I'd imagine. Pale and not much use.

I have two accounts. There're people out there with far too much time on their hands...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)
cheese and onion toastie
nom nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)
ha
I love the toastie anecdote. Guaranteed a great reaction.

Thanks for the doughnut mr stalkery person, whoever you are!
*noms*
*gets sugar all over face*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)
Don't forget
The Worcester sauce
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)
I quite like it.
AND this means that I can finally take out St. Anger and shoot it in the face.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:33, Reply)
I've heard a few good things about the new 'tallica album
I'm going to go into town to buy it, so see y'all in a bit!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:34, Reply)
Al:
I agree totally

day that never comes has grown on me though. it sounds better on cd than on the radio or computer somehow.

I was so pleased when I listened to the first couple of tracks this morning.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:37, Reply)
Yep!
New 'Tallica is fun :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:37, Reply)
I bought this one because I had faith
I've bought all their others over the years, except St Anger, which I even deleted off my computer

that's how shit it is...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:41, Reply)
I like
original Kaol. All these new Kaol-related users are hurting my brain.

Fucking fuck. It's still ages 'til pub time.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:41, Reply)
We taking bets
for the new QOTW yet?

"Mobile phones - tell us about the hillarious time you sat on your phone and called your mate without knowing!"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:41, Reply)
I'm hoping for Kaol's most recent suggestion
it's a good one, and I need it to come up before I forget the couple of stories that I have for it...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:43, Reply)
Original Kaol?
That'd be me then.
Cool!

New QOTW?

www.b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post245321

Go and click, my Stalkery minions!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:43, Reply)
300
ha!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:45, Reply)
^Al
Thanks for that.
*clears bits of sandwich off keyboard*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:46, Reply)
I'm back
And I bought a few CDs at HMV, mostly stuff I already have (but not in CD format, if you catch my drift) that were cheap.

I'm ripping the new Metallica album now...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:55, Reply)
Well Lab,
Hope you like it!

"Death Magnetic - It's not like St. Anger, buy it now!"
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:57, Reply)
Lab
That was super dooper quick!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 14:58, Reply)
Kaol
that should've been their advertising slogan
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:00, Reply)
It was!
(Yeah, it should've been)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:00, Reply)
Al
a lot of people say that, but I actually really liked Load and Reload (apart from Mama Said, wtf were they thinking?)

Garage Inc. was excellent also.

S&M I could take or leave
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:00, Reply)
My work's in the centre of a small town ;)
I liked S&M *hurr hurr*, didn't listen much to Load & Reload.

Off to a good start so far, no ridiculous St Anger snare.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:02, Reply)
* gets sucked in *
Afternoon folks

Just popped on to check my gazzes and ... well, you know what it´s like.

Looks like Kaol is leaving a trail of stalkers - sort of like a trail of breadcrumbs, but with stalkers instead of breadcrumbs.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:03, Reply)
Vipros
Three words...

SO

FUCKING

WHAT?

*laughs*

One of my favourite songs they've done.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:06, Reply)
such a good song
I maintain it should be the b3tan anthem

*sings "so what you boring little cunt!"*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:10, Reply)
Well...
I've fucked a sheep.

I've fucked a goat.

I rammed my cock right down it's throat.

So what?

So what?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:12, Reply)
Afternoon all
I am now returned home after my flat-based jaunt.

I'm guessing someones copy of the new Metallica album just arrived?

Much else been going on?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:15, Reply)
Penguin!
Helloo!

Happy new flat!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)
St. Anger
It's not my favourite by I actually quite like the album.

*prepares for lynching*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)
Tulip!!
How are you? Fun in theatre land?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:20, Reply)
he is a twat
st anger was ok(ish) if you ignore that it was metallica.

it wasn't just that it was different to their old stuff, it was so much worse. especially that fucking saucepan that Lars had instead of his snare drum.

he is a little goblin. and a tool.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:21, Reply)
I can never work out
from our posts whether we love or hate Metallica.

MoP and Garage Inc. clearly rule.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:23, Reply)
Clendrix
I think the consensus is that we do like Metallica, just that Lars is a twat, and St Anger was disappointing ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)
I'll throw in my love
for Death Magnetic as well.

Is it scary or gratifying to see so many people agree on the poor standard of almost everything they've done since the black album though?
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)
stuff since black album
Load and Reload and especially Garage Inc. are great

there are a couple of weak tracks, but for the most part I think they are sweet.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)
@Vipros
That sounds about right to be honest. Not that big a fan of Metallica really so I suppose that helps me enjoy their not so good stuff a little more.

I think that makes sense.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)
I reckon what helps me with load and reload
is that I started out with the black album, then load and reload, then master of puppets

that was when my eyes were opened, but I still have the love for load and reload
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:28, Reply)
@ Vipros
Fair play buddy. I agree with Garage Inc and, embarrassingly, have a soft spot for S&M as well but Load, Reload and St Anger really didn't float my boat at all.

@ Al - You're spot on there. Just take a look at Risk if you want an example of about as bad as it can get!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:32, Reply)
The train of consequences
There ain't no turning back.


Time for a new QOTW. Hopefully mine.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:33, Reply)
there are some solos on Load and Reload
the thing with them is that they just aren't as heavy and fast as the others, but there are some beautifully crafted songs on there. with some heaviness, but a different kind.

King Nothing for instance is fantastic...I was going to suggest a few more good ones, but I'd list most of both albums. I'll leave it at one!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:35, Reply)
another massively shit QOTW
*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:39, Reply)
@ Penguin
Yes ta, although I have been here all my life and not ever left or done anything else other than sleep (badly), ever.

@ al - ah, go on, you know you want to...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:39, Reply)
*nods*
It's better, but not by much.

There're only so many "Lol!! ! I shit in his sooup!!!!1!!" stories that're in existence.

It's gonna be un-funny tales of cuntishness.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:39, Reply)
Well, it could be fun
I'm not sure if I'll be popping my cherry on that one though.

I'm kind of lacking the inspiration to think of anything that could be posted there right now.
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:43, Reply)
Heya Pirate Monkey
I'm with you (and many others). Not sure I've got any stories at all for this one.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:44, Reply)
QOTW
Why just food sabotage? It should have been ANY sabotage.
That would give give a bit of variation.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:46, Reply)
Is it
pub time yet??
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:47, Reply)
hello miss ancrenne!
How be you today?

Edit: Al, It's always boobie jiggling time!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:51, Reply)
Only 66 minutes until pub tiem
Well, leaving work time anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:52, Reply)
Hasn't there already been
a sabotage one?

Oh yes
b3ta.com/questions/pettysabotage/

*shocked*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:53, Reply)
@TGB
indeed, and this QOTW is even more specific, and therefore a subset of the previous one, thus providing the potential for fewer answers.

Pish, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:54, Reply)
G'afternoon ancrenne
I'm off in half an hour, woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:54, Reply)
Afternoon ancrenne
I love how I always seem to arrive just in time for everyone starting to talk about heading home or to the pub.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:54, Reply)
Please let it be pub time
I have a litre of Bombay Sapphire at home, along with several litres of tonic water, ice, and limes.

Roll on 17:15!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:56, Reply)
@ al
that was fast, you can normally keep going for ages!

@ PoD - yeah! what al said! lunchtime beers and all that jazz.

I don't like the new qotw. I don't have any stories for it, and it'll just make me feel queasy.

I think it's mean to do that to someone.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:57, Reply)
Agrees k2k6. If I had the time I would
message everyone who posts a story falling under my list with a big flashing "FAIL" sign.

Sadly I am lazy and can't be assed. But I think they all know they have failed.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:58, Reply)
Oh, Lordy.
'Food Sabotage'?

I'm not usually one to complain, but I predict a week of 'hur hur I wanked in the mayo' or 'I couldn't be bothered to do my job properly so when the cold food got sent back I wiped my balls on it'.

I think I'll be avoiding this week's QOTW.

EDIT: Except to tell the twunts that they fail, of course. *sheds fluffeh*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 15:59, Reply)
True, al and hlt
I took the rest of my cider to my flat. And then came home.

Oh.

Crap.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:01, Reply)
Messing with someone's food is evil
I don't have anything relevant to post on this week's QotW, so I'll stick to the comfy womb that is Off Topic.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:02, Reply)
3 bloody hours
until home time for me! Commuting is a real ball ache.

And it's 2 days 'til pub time. Although those will be warm up beers for the Wildhearts gig I'm off to on Saturday so I don't mind holding off too much until then.

The dusty bottle of port at the back of the cupboard at home is starting to eye me up suspiciously though. There is a chance it'll get emptied before Saturday hits....
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:03, Reply)
I've not had a decent answer for QOTW
for a few weeks now.

That in itself doesn't mean the question is rubbish, but this week's doesn't appear to have much scope for anyone.


Still, there's always OT!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:04, Reply)
:(
If only I'd done something amusingly naughty to the curry I served up to Kaol and Wookiee last weekend, I'd have an entertaining story to tell.

/missed opportunity
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:07, Reply)
hurrah for OT
it's so good i want to go and choose curtains with it.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:08, Reply)
*sigh of relief*
I have one story...

The soap-cheese story.
I'll wait until next week.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:08, Reply)
I don't think
I've ever sabotaged food.

I have had it done to me, but it was only an old flatmate putting garlic powder into everything, and I can't tell that in an amusing or entertaining manner.

So, what shall we entertain ourselves with for the next week?

Kittens? Cake? Cars? Metallica? Sex?

Or a combination of the above?

Edit@Al/HLT - the word 'curtains' always makes me want to prefix it with 'beef'. Which is puerile, but makes me laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:16, Reply)
Grrrr
I've got to a complete dead end. I'm trying to improve the way we use our MRP software but have come up against a brick wall that I just can't get around. I'm not helped by the fact that the software is Sweedish with mediocre help files.

I'm right on the brink of something really, really useful so I'm rather frustrated.

Going to solve my rubiks cube to de-stress.

*breathes*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:24, Reply)
I'm off now!
Nighty night folks.
Bash tonight!
*excites*

:D
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:24, Reply)
Right!
It's gig-time, see you all tomorrow!
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:25, Reply)
@ al
yes, well, you're always off with Bert!

*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:29, Reply)
I have some rather odd...
'Oriental Rib' McCoys, al, if you'd like to share?

I just thought of a story for this week. It doesn't involve sabotage though, just me being a fool...

So what's new?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:33, Reply)
@ al
that's ok. I forgive you.

it's been a long day thank you!

how's your good self mr thegeordie?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:34, Reply)
WTF?
What the jumpinjivinjiggeryfuckery...?

Food sabotage?
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:39, Reply)
Well, I make baby milk in China
.....

/Hull
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:41, Reply)
oh noes
*rubs al's tummy*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:41, Reply)
*is now rubbing al's bottom, apparently*
@k2k6, you is bad man.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:47, Reply)
no, not inserting!
at least, not in front of all these people, anyway
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:53, Reply)
I'm off home
Laters all. Hope those of you attending enjoy the bash.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:54, Reply)
I think Vipros said this a couple of weeks ago...
But these questions really do bring out the cunts, don't they?

35 minutes to home time!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:54, Reply)
See you later all
I'm off home, and then to brave Tescos.

Take care!

Oh, and I'm liking the new Metallica album ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 17:07, Reply)
have fun, all you lucky bashees
I'm going home to sleep.


Mmmmm sleep.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 17:22, Reply)
Nighty night all!
I'm off too!

See ya later!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 17:31, Reply)
Me too.
*assumes someone will start evening thread*
*turns off light*
*closes door*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 17:39, Reply)

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