*bong* Lunch time
Lets talk about sex food.

I'm thinking of cooking a pasta dish tomorrow, any good recipies. Was thinking more a white sauce than tomato based.

Also I need to cook some cakes. I'm thinking rice crispie cakes covered in toffee and chocolate.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:29, 183 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ooh you could do a creamy pasta sauce
Like chicken and mushroom and peppercorns in cream.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Yuck
Mushrooms are disgusting.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:34, Reply)

shut your face

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:35, Reply)

*opens face wide*
HA!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:37, Reply)

*face rapes*
In your face!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Gargloofaaaaargh!
Wait, do it again.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:39, Reply)

It depends how you cook em
Shurrup
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:44, Reply)

No, it doesn't
The only good mushrooms are the sweety ones you used to get in Woolworths Pick 'n' Mix. Now they're harder to find, and motorway service stations charge a fortune for them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:47, Reply)

You are so wrong.
Stop being mean to mushrooms
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:00, Reply)

A white sauce?
I'm sure there are several people that could oblige on that one.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:32, Reply)

oh my god
you are like totally lowering the tone of my thread!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Your face is lowering the tone

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I like to find my level
and then crawl underneath it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Creamy pasta with sausagemeat balls

Ingredients
good glug of fruity olive oil
a couple of onions, peeled, sliced
a couple of spilling handfuls of pasta, such as conchiglie
4-6 good quality sausages (preferably from your butcher)
1 small handful fresh flatleaf parsley, roughly chopped, plus a little extra for serving
a dollop or so of smooth mustard, such as Dijon
a dollop or so of grainy mustard, such as wholegrain
a small pot of double cream
salt and freshly ground black pepper

This is a Dig In recipe.

Method
Add the oil to a hot, shallow, large pan and fry the onions until they are very, very sweet. They want to be soft, not crisp, so put the lid on so they steam as well as fry, say a good 8-10 minutes. Meanwhile cook the pasta in boiling salted water according to packet instructions.

When the onions are caramelised, skin the sausages and rip the meat into good sized chunks and add to the onions and cook for a few minutes.

Add in the flatleaf parsley and stir in the mustards. It's up to you to add as much or as little as you like of each. A tablespoon of each is usually enough.

Stir in the cream and check the seasoning, adding more mustard if you want. Drain the pasta and add to the cream and stir well. Serve immediately with an extra sprinkling of chopped parsley.

PS I exchange the cream for low fat creme fraiche to make it a bit less fatty!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:34, Reply)

That sounds tasty
I like that you indirectly suggest that Badger is fat, and should use creme fraiche, otherwise she won't be able to fit in the bath.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Heavens no!
Well no fatter then anybody else from the internet
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:37, Reply)

As much as she is my b3ta-sibling
I feel I have to defend her here. You've gone too far, she is certainly nowhere near as fat as Internet Peoples.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:38, Reply)

You're asking for another
facerape
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Tease

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Try
dry fry some bacon lardons adding crushed garlic when nearly cooked, sprinkle crumbled blue cheese over very hot cooked pasta followed by the cooked bacon and garlic and some spinach or rocket etc. sprinkle with toasted pine nuts.Rather yummy
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Lloyd Grossman's tomato, chili, raisin and pine nut sauce is yumz0r
FACT
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Pine nuts in homemade burgers are delicious

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:37, Reply)

As are raisins on pizza

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:39, Reply)

FUCK OFF

I once heard a story about a pizzeria in Romania, wher they had obviously based their recipe on a picture of a pizza consequently it came not with olives, but grapes!!

on second thoughts this may have been on QOTW
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Silence, non-believer!
Raisins on pizza are ace.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Are you making up for your raisin shortage the other week
by putting raisins on everything?
(bill, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Yes I am
That "Rum And" ice cream gave me Rasin Rage.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:48, Reply)

I got a Whole Nut the other day
and was surprised to find it was actually a Fruit & Nut in the wrong wrapper.
(bill, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Everyone's getting raisins except me!
It's a conspiracy!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Dammit! He's on to us!

(bill, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:58, Reply)

*dies*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Easy one (I was a student when I developed it)
- Cook Pasta
- Add tin of Chicken in white sauce
- Heat through whilst adding seasoning to taste (I recommend shitloads of black pepper and tabasco)
- Grate cheese on top
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I read that as balck pepper
and tobacco
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I'd rather talk about sex,
let's talk about sex.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I like sex

( Peej, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:40, Reply)

So do I,
what a coincidence.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:41, Reply)

baby, let's talk about you and me
let's talk about all the good things, and the bad things, something-something-ee!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:41, Reply)

That may be

(bill, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Thank you
I couldn't be bothered to Google it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I like sex too

(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:41, Reply)

your boyfriend's not doing it right then.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:44, Reply)

You reckon?
I beg to differ.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I like the bit afterwards when they re-assure me that it happens to most guys and that it's no big deal.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Spontaneous and spectacular flatulance at the point of orgasm?
Or the fact that milk dribbles from your nipples when tweaked?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Question is
Does yours do that 'pre-cum' thing?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I wonder what it would be like if you deep fry raviloli-type pasta.
I reckon it would be quite nice.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I think
it would make a nasty horrible mess in the fryer.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:43, Reply)

I tried to deep fat fry and egg once

it wasn't pretty
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:48, Reply)

What happened?
I want to try it now
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Like a badly poached egg it broke up into strings and left a perfect round yolk

but unlike a poached egg whereby the use of a saucepan and water facilitates easy clean up, this was a professional deep fat fryer with litres of oil in, sorry that should read ruined eggy oil.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Hey man, have you ever tried putting a cured pig thigh into some water?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Funnily enough I haven't...
never heard of a pig's thigh before, normally a whole leg.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:05, Reply)

this sounds like something a pedo would say

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Is that a euphemism?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:06, Reply)

I'm making a Wet Ham Man joke.
run with it would you.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:10, Reply)

You're so 2008
I'm so 2000 and late
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:11, Reply)

I prevented soggy sandwiches today by placing my tomato slices between two slices of ham
this is a breakthrough in sandwich technology
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:14, Reply)

That's clever thinking there

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Apart from the tomato bit.
I don't like tomatoes. They are the Sith of the sandwich world.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

they make those here all of the time in restaurants
they are molto buon
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I watched Everyday Italian the other day and she made some bangin' looking pasta with shrimp and clams
here

Tomorrow we're grilling out and having friends over. I feel like a Real Grownup. I'm in charge of steaming the shrimp. Because I am awesome.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I don't like food that has fanny connotations

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Hurr hurr
clams
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:54, Reply)

ha ha jousting

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I am awesome no one else can be arsed
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:52, Reply)

no, no
I made it QUITE CLEAR that I can make great shrimp.
Their idea of great shrimp is buying the kind in a bag, precooked, de-shelled and boiling it in water to get it warm. *shudders*
Even if no one else can be arsed I'd rather do it myself because I'm not eating crap shrimp.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:54, Reply)

What's the difference between shrimp and prawns?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:59, Reply)

the size I think

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Nope
Prawns are similar in appearance to other small, swimming decapods, such as shrimp (Caridea) and boxer shrimp (Stenopodidea), but can be distinguished by the gill structure which is branching in prawns (hence the name, dendro = “tree”; branchia = “gill”), but is lamellar in shrimp.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:03, Reply)

You looked it up
geek
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I don't know, I think they're the same but the only prawns I've seen here have been called king prawns and they are massive

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:01, Reply)

When prawns grow longer than
35mm they become shrimp
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Apparently they are slightly different species

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Yes - bigger.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:04, Reply)

"bigger" is not a different species is it
you don't say, oh look, there is a house cat and there is a lion. If your house cat grows above 35cm it becomes a lion.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Are they related to crabs and lobsters?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Only when they are bigger and different shaped.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:07, Reply)

So what is making my cock itch?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Tweed undies?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:11, Reply)

*patents*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:12, Reply)

What cats and lions?
I don't think so..
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:08, Reply)

shut your
big fat face
*insert fat al pic here*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Yeah go on, I'll have a bong

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:52, Reply)

That does sound nice.
It feels like the Bhundu Boys are rehearsing in my head and a calming smoke would be superb.

BTW Did you see that Alex Chilton (Big Star) has died?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Love Big Star
alas I did not hear this news. Sadness.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Be sure to get...
...the 'Keep An Eye On The Sky' box set - it will make you rigid with joy.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:19, Reply)

You get nothing!
but my contempt
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 12:59, Reply)

He gets a rousing rendition of "You're Gorgeous"

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Stop flirting with him.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:10, Reply)

I hate that song
about as much as I hate U2
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:18, Reply)

i'm making a rabbit stew tonight
i'm assuming the way to do it is to seal the meat, add to chopped up veg and some water in a casserole dish and leave it for a bit in the oven.
( weaver., Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:11, Reply)

well, it probably doesn't count as a stew

( weaver., Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Oooh a really lazy way to have pasta
is to buy those pasta packs with the dried pasta in them (they do chicken and mushroom or cheese and broccoli). You cook that then stick it in a dish and cover it in tons of pepper, cheese and crunched up ready salted crisps… then you bung it in the oven for about 20 mins and you get a wicked pasta bake with a cheesy crispy top, its dah bomb!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:19, Reply)

I can recommend using salt and vinegar crisps
it takes it to the next level.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I have also done this when I ran out of ready salted
I enjoyed it a great deal! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:21, Reply)

*high fives*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I was thinking Smokey Bacon would be nice...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I have not tried this
*ponders*

This might work!! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I can assure that it does
but I didn't like it as much as salt and vinegar
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Fair enough
Maybe I'll try it one time just to see! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:28, Reply)

you might prefer it
it was good, just not as good as S&V imo
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Noted! :)

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:34, Reply)

*dances the funky chicken*
We're clever people!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:24, Reply)

^^THIS
I use crushed salt and vinegar crisps as a topper (with spicy cheese) for my tuna pasta bake.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Ooooh yum-oh!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Which reminds me
you totally owe me dinner
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:25, Reply)

I do?
Oh, yes, I do. I'll sort something out... tuna pasta bake?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:28, Reply)

With mushrooms?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Only the aforementioned Pick 'n' Mix ones

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:35, Reply)

you people are wronguns

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Come to the wrongun side...
we have pasta bake!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:24, Reply)

It's all a bit studenty for my liking.
I can afford M&S pasta bake now.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Oh me too but sometimes I like to revert to cheap food
as its nice. I tend to only get away with this when DiT is out though. He has higher standards than me when it comes to food.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:28, Reply)

there's no reason why cheap food can't be awesome
I tend to just make pasta bake sauce from chopped tomatoes and stuff instead though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I make mine even simpler
It's just tuna, mayo, sweetcorn and pasta. Mix a bit of cheese in too, maybe add a chopped bird's eye chili, crushed S&V crisps and cheese topper.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I concur
One of my other dodgy cheap food things is to cook chicken pieces with tons of hoi sin sauce, then throw in beansprouts, then thrown in boil in the bag rice and then noodles, cover the whole lot in more hoi sin and then stuff the lot in my face… simple pleasures.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:33, Reply)

haven't had it for a while
but get a tin of corned beef and mash it together with a tin of baked beans.

Wrap the resultant goo in puff pastry and bake.

fucking lovely.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:35, Reply)

That my friend sounds so wrong and yet so right.

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)

it is both of those things
you end up with something about 5 inches wide by a foot long, which tastes amazing.

tend to eat it for lunch cold the next day and have found that it weighs approximately 3 times as much when cold.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:41, Reply)

*obligatory joke about my penis*

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Hehehehehe

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:43, Reply)

salt and pepper crisps
are also good stuff


do not try with cheese and onion
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Sweet Chilli
crisps make the best tomato pasta bake topping
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Damnit!
I quite fancy a bong now.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:20, Reply)

*gestures to door*
*nods*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I quite fancy a bang now.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:22, Reply)

*gestures to filing cabinet*
*nods*
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)

filing cabinet?

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I'll take his filing cabinet...
...and raise it one gesture to the *stationery cupboard*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:28, Reply)

*gestures at your crotch*
*shakes head*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Is that *shakes head*...
...in a sexy way or a negative way.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Depends which head it is.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

That's more like it.
The smell of freshly opened Canon copy paper turns me on.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Oh yes....
...open a marker pen, too.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Yeah! That stuff is like poppers.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

If you take the glowing markers..
...to club you can get high and look like a 'ravey-davey' nobhead at the same time. Woo. Two birds - one stone.
Oh sorry - back to the stationery sex. Erm... staple my knackers.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:35, Reply)

*probes your rectum with the Pritt-stick*

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:41, Reply)

*sticks hb pencil down your jizzle*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:53, Reply)

*uses ruler and spirit level to measure the straightness of your penis*
A fairly pointless exercise, if I'm honest...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Bindun.
14 degree curvature to the left.
*Grabs ruler. Pulls back on end and thwacks your nads with the other*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Ooh! Yes, more of that!
My god, man, I'll be ready to top up your Tipp-ex at this rate!
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:00, Reply)

'Whack my bonobo'

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Well, actually I do have the office to myself at the moment
Though they still haven't put the blinds back on the windows...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Danger wank on the filing cabinet.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Should I read that as "Danger-wank on the filing cabinet"
or "DANGER: Wank on the filing cabinet"?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Both.
But the latter should be printed and left to avoid any health and safety issues regarding spillage.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:51, Reply)

"IN CASE OF EMERGENCY: WANK IN FILING CABINET"

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:52, Reply)

That probably would not put out a cabinet fire...
...unless you have not had sex in years, and your hands had been surgically removed.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:01, Reply)

But if I had no hands then how would I be able to wank over the filing cabinet to find out?
_{Well, there's something I don't get to say every day...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:04, Reply)

For that matter you wouldn't be able to write the sign.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:11, Reply)

just remembered that I had awesome food last night
marinaded some lamb steaks in olive oil, garlic, lemon juice and crumbled bay leaves, griddled it and had it with steamed broccoli and mashed potato with thyme.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I wish I had the time / money / patience
instead it was pork belly, roast tatties and steamed veg, simply because I could sling it all in and carry on working from home.

grrrr

Plus I have no griddle
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:38, Reply)

the lamb was reasonably cheap
and only took about 6-8 minutes of griddling

only time consuming thing was boiling the spuds.

get yourself a griddle pan though. they are the fucking business.

not for bacon though. I can't get it to cook bacon right.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Get yourself a griddle pan
And then you are truly a stereotypical /offtopic male. Apparently.

(I agree, they really are the fucking business)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Well
I have the "living alone" syndrome where most stuff I want comes packaged for families, so end up bulk cooking at the weekend, or i end up eating the same thing 2 or 3 days in a row, plus whenever I go to the deli counters I get lured by all the nice stuff and end up with things I don't need.

My freezer is loaded with tubbed stuff thats been cooked and stored, at last count there was a couple of chili, a lasagne, sausage & bean contraption, meatballs, and various frozen sauces!
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:50, Reply)

bed stuff thats been cooked and stored, at last count there was a couple of chili, a lasagne, sausage & bean contraption, meatballs, and various frozen sauces! girl
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I'm familiar with that scenario
it's much easier to shop and cook for two or more.

when the mrs goes away I end up eating sandwiches for every meal.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:54, Reply)

I'm slowly getting better
and picking up cook books as I go, managed to whip up a chorizo and butter bean stew with thyme and garlic for the parents on mothers day that went down rather well.

hmm, the food for one is a struggle sometime, but only have maybe one or two meals a week out of a package, the rest I cook
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:59, Reply)

good stuff
I can recommend a subscription to Goodfood magazine. Despite having an absurd number of cookbooks, a lot of my recipes come from there, if I don't make them up.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:01, Reply)

haven't got to the making it up point yet
don't trust myself not to spend 2 hours arsing around in the kitchen throwing things together and discovering it's shit at the end
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:04, Reply)

I usually come up with an idea or a taste combination
then check on the internet to see if it has been done before.

haven't had any incidents where it was inedible
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I have!
it usually involves potatoes strangely
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:10, Reply)

oh man was it DA BOMB?!
looks good

I've never had lamb, reckon I might try that this weekend. I think this weekend will be full of grilling and drinking.
I may even grill my fucking breakfast.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Even though I don't eat meat I might just get a griddle pan to fit in around here.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:48, Reply)

griddled aubergine and peppers and stuff are really rather nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Oh yes! I like aubergine but don't eat it very often.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:57, Reply)

squash and sweet potato and the stuff Kristine mentions are good too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:00, Reply)

zucchini, carrots, asparagus, peppers, mushrooms all together...oh man
k guys we really need to stop talking about food
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:58, Reply)

ain't got no griddle pan

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Only things that I cook are DA BOMB! :)

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:52, Reply)

it was pretty good
the best bit was heating some milk and butter with the thyme and a leftover anchovy fillet, until the anchovy dissolved and then using that in the mash.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:56, Reply)

oh yeah, totally ruined it when mentioning the anchovy
puke
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:57, Reply)

thought it might get that reaction from some
it was boss though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:59, Reply)

well if you liked it that's all that matters
oh man I'm totally going to have to get some lamb
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:03, Reply)

if you get lamb steaks
then they can be cooked much like a beef steak, although medium to well done is recommended.

something like shoulder or neck should be cooked for ages in a stew or curry though, so all the fat breaks down and it becomes amazing and tender
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Brill, TA!
sooooooo gonna grill that shit
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:11, Reply)

MMMM
I have some lamb steaks in the freezer
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I can recommend the above

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:56, Reply)

Sounds ace
I might take them out of the freezer on Sunday and have them on Monday.
Fuckin ell I'm the Craig David of dinners!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 13:58, Reply)

can you get a rewind?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Iiii'm walkin awaaaayy

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:01, Reply)

*waves hands in air and shouts 'rewind'*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Ree, ee, wind.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 14:04, Reply)