ok i've read the faq so I better introdce me.My name is Katrina and i live in Harlow in essex. my friends bf showed me this page years ago but only just got the guts to join. I live in a wheelchair (car crash in '89) but dont mind jokes about it. hello b3ta.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:31, archived)
are you a bed or a fan?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:32,
archived)
I blame the government(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:38,
archived)
He thinks one will suck the air out of his room while he's dying in the other(
Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:38,
archived)
I know what goes on herei've been looking for about 2 years. Why have you got it?
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:34, archived)
Put a fucking apostrophe in it, chomp.(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:36,
archived)
you can be bothered with commas thoughI bet you'r not even on your phone
you probably put 'sent from my iphone 8' at the bottom of your emails too
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:39,
archived)
YEAH YEAH TYPE FASTER ON YOUR GATEWAY DESKTOP(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:44,
archived)
OoohThe ones with the cow print boxes?
Hello 1996
(
RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:36,
archived)
hello katrinai live in a house
you must not have much shelter from the storm
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:34,
archived)
does being in a wheelchair mean you type like a spastic?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:34,
archived)
Most people I know live in a house or a flat.(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:35,
archived)
Sorry, I'll try harder.I only have one good hand so I'm a bit lazy when it comes to caps.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:36, archived)
how do you play the trumpet with only one good hand?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:39,
archived)
Arse-trumpet Grrry.Don't they have them in forrin yet?
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:41,
archived)
we use that hole for talking(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:41,
archived)
I make all my important phone calls on the toiletSo this would not work as it is rude to talk with your talk hole full.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:42,
archived)
Looking for a job with Def Leppard?(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:04,
archived)
You've been lurking for years and you think that was "very sharp"?You're the rubbishest fake ever.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:16,
archived)
I've only just started looking at this bit.I used to look at the picture board lots and I thought the talk button on the main page was for answering posts. Yes I know what you are thinking. I've seen enough of this place to understand people's suspicions.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:34, archived)
fuck these cunts and their shit, and you, fuck off picking on me(
mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:42,
archived)
Hello Wormulus.Here is some FREE advice:
1. Don't be a crybaby, if you are, fuck off over to QOTW Off-Topic. That's like /talk for autisms.
2. Don't thread-delete unless it's for humerous purposes.
3. When you get told to FUCK OFF, which you WILL be. Often. Don't go whinging to the mods, just man the fuck up and return any abuse you get in spades.
4. Have fun, it's what this place is here for. And don't get upset by us being cunts. It's just what we do here.
That's about it.
Now, have you already had your FREE introductory bumming?
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:36,
archived)
Aw hell no The LOVELY Kristine. That'd make her a furry.Even I don't pander furries.
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:39,
archived)
Look youI've been looking at this place for a while now. If I couldn't look after myself or cry every time some, I believe the preferred term is twunt, calls me a spak or a mong I wouldn't have joined. Go for it big boy, I can give as good as I get given.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:40, archived)
HURRAH! Well done that legfail!:D
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:44,
archived)
not on talk, we will call you a cunt, you spastic chairbound shit machine, do the nhs a favour and die eh(
mongychops, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:44,
archived)
I'm pretty sure he does mean offense.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:53,
archived)
Oi! That's The LOVELY mongy you're talking about The LOVELY Wildheart Baby.He's too LOVELY to offend ANYONE.
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:56,
archived)
Lovely as that is...(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:10,
archived)
wait a minuteweren't we talking about playing the trumpet? this seems more like tromboning
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:52, archived)
does that mean you go round in circles in your wheelchair?just askin.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:59, archived)
If I want to, which I dont.They've invented this brilliant thing now. A wheelchair with a motor! Imagine that?
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:17, archived)
Hello dzoolyI hear that Essex is in England. Are you in England? I have been to England.
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:39,
archived)
Can i borrow your wheelchair and ride it down hills really fastThen bring it back with a wonky wheel and tell you it was like that when i got it and if you tell your mum i'll not talk to you anymore?
If you can accept these criteria then we can be friends. I will also need your pudding from every meal, and any pocket money as i'm saving up for a remote control plane. No you can't have a go, you've already said you've got a spakky hand.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:39,
archived)
Don't pander to mei'm still fairly new, and therefore yet to prove my worth, try one of the more popular ones like Stuj.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:45,
archived)
Come now PigglesNone of us here are popular. This is crying ginger nerd of message boards
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:47,
archived)
Hang on ... aren't you one of the fake noobs too?This is all getting too much for me. I'm leaving forever.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:49,
archived)
I was Friz for a whilebut i think that's blown over now. Was very briefly Bou, but again, blown over. I haven't been accused of being anyone since. So i'm either still Friz, or i am me.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:59,
archived)
BERT. You're bert aren't you? You cheeky monkey.(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:02,
archived)
You know whatI don't even know who Bert is. But if you say so.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:03,
archived)
I don't have a sister(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:15,
archived)
Oh right. So you're saying you would fuck your sister if you had one? You sick puppy.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:17,
archived)
Well, i walked in to that one(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:22,
archived)
So you put on a wig and makeup and masturbate in front of the mirror?(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:53,
archived)
I resent that.I'm not popular, just LOVELY.
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:59,
archived)
Don't hate mei was waiting for the right moment for a fist bump over how wet Donington was and how awesome Rob Zombie was and that after that we'd be friends and, oh god I've ruined it haven't I. Can you forgive me? can you ever forgive me?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:12,
archived)
alright dzooly.How did the username come about?
What does dzooly stand for?
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:45,
archived)
Is it worth saying that was accidental?(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:49,
archived)
It's a nickname I got in hospital.I was in for quite a while. I had loads of pictures of animals around my bed and someone called me zoe by mistake, It then became zooly and I added a d just to be awkward.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:50, archived)
Cool.Cheers.
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:51,
archived)
*knuckle bump for being awkward*(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:53,
archived)
Thank fuck I wasn't the only one thinking this!(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:58,
archived)
i figured she just took her spaz hand and whacked the keyboard and that's what she came up with(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:03,
archived)
do you reckon it's a beadle hand?or one of them horrible Mouldy claw hands? Ooooooh, or so fat she can't lift it.
Place your bets.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:06,
archived)
That was why my username on MSN used to be bobofktrue story
(
broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:10,
archived)
Hello, as long as you have a thick skin, you should fit in nicely.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:46,
archived)
I've had to really.I'm 31 now and done all my fretting. I'm just busted up not a real mong.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:52, archived)
Feel free to pop over to qotw and show them up for being thin skinned.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:55,
archived)
if you're still capable of any kind of sexual actyou'll be pandered to like all the rest
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:55, archived)
It says it's 31 Womby n... Ah my heart's just not in it.(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:58,
archived)
she's got a knackered hand a powerless legsso you're going to get a mindblower of a trumpeter's blowjob, but coupled to a pathetic wank and then some really uninspiring missionary position stuff.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:59,
archived)
Now that I've said that, I'm wondering how good Miles Davis would have been at blowjobs(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 18:59,
archived)
Can't get the image of someone recieving a gimpy handjob out of my head now.(
Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:07,
archived)
But my hands work fineIf I sit on one for long enough it may work
(
Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:10,
archived)
Can't go for permanent damage.I've a feeling this spakka wank is going to be a fad.
(
Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:16,
archived)
No worries on that front.OK I have one good arm, can't move either legs, smashed my spine to pulp just above the sacrum, got some feeling but not much. I lost sight in my left eye and my face used to look like a map of the tube, but it's not as bad now.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:04, archived)
Totally going to get in there before Gonzy can.(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:07,
archived)
But what if she can't headbang to Slayer, stuj?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:10,
archived)
I'm sure I could yank her head-dobber in time to Angel Of Death Grrry.:D
(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:19,
archived)
you've got one up on most of the fuckers here then*panders better*
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:06, archived)
What regular sex? I bet you are right too.I did have a husband but the shit left me. I have a son of 7 and a chap. A WHOLE chap at that.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:09, archived)
Steady on there, he likes them young.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:11,
archived)
i must be doing something wrong.did you have to leave the house to get him?
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:11, archived)
you're not going to get a single reply from this lot now(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:11,
archived)
A chap?Is that like one half of a pair of chaps?
(
Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:12,
archived)
I had them in hospital thanks.My bum looked like a lump of raw meat.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:23, archived)
pics or GTFO(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:26,
archived)
i made myself feel a bit sick then(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:29,
archived)
I imagine it was something like thistiny.cc/q5ise
(
Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:30,
archived)
Have you thought about donating your body to culinary science?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:19,
archived)
I don't really do cruel.You only get an insult from me if you're being particularly shit.
(
CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:12,
archived)
Look, you have your troublesbut I have tonsillitis. I know what REAL pain is.
(
executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:00,
archived)
Hello new personif you really are a lady and in a wheelchair then I have a question, but its really bad, even Jim Davidson would say "hang on, thats a bit out of order". But fuck it, I'll ask it anyway.............
Daddy or chips?
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:00, archived)
Like she gets a choice.(
stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:01,
archived)
don't forget to tell everyone what you think of them before you flounce! it's like a rule or something
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:07,
archived)
Chips but onlyif I can have a pint or 5 of real ale with them.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:06, archived)
Mmmmmale. I saw a woman buying real ale in asda today. I nearly shat myself with joy til she turned around.
(
CowJam, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:13,
archived)
an alcoholic crippleif you're overweight too the NHS actually hates you.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:14,
archived)
Since you lost the use of your legsDid you gain awesome telekinetic powers?
(
Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:10,
archived)
Hello Dzooly, my name is Pauly Pops, or Gonz, or sevrel other names depending on my mood.I'm very sorry to hear about the wheelchair, do you have a good one though? I think if I had to be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life, I'd attach some wheels on a laz-e-boy. I saw this thing the japanese are making which might possibly depending allow you to maybe possibly walk, it's like an exo-skellington. That would be super hot in yellow with black stripes.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:14,
archived)
You talking about Gundam, Gonz?That's not real
(
Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:18,
archived)
Nonon, it's something Honda are making.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:20,
archived)
Oh yeah, I saw something like that.(
Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:25,
archived)
It's OK, I don't mind the name Ben. It's not my name, but if it was my name, I expect I wouldn't be ashamed, like I would be if my name was Andrew... if my name was andrew I'd call my self 'drew.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:33,
archived)
wheelchair! Don't expect any sympathy from me. I get occasional dandruff(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:21,
archived)
Oh you poor thing.It must me awful. Have you concidered shaving it off and buying a hat?
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:27, archived)
Or moving to somewhere that snows all the time(
Fengol my apartment smells of rich mahogany, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:32,
archived)
Hello Katrina, welcomeI'm sure you'll fit in fine, you seem nice enough and you have a sense of humour. I hope you oh fuck it what are things coming to, I can't even be arsed to rip the piss or work out which regular you are. I'm getting too old for this shit.
Come, go, have a tantrum, enjoy yourself, whatever. It doesn't really matter. We're all just killing time. Time, the irreplacable currency of our life. Seventy thousand messages, can you fucking believe it?
All is dust.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:33,
archived)
I've wanted to post here for a while but never got up the courage.As you can probably imagine, I do spend quite a while on the computer but I think b3ta is the best forum I've seen. I do facebook, but I'm getting sick of all the 'if you agree, post this in your status' posts. OK thank you all for being so kind (ish) I'm off to the pub now. (the Greyhound, Harlow) if anyone is around these parts. You can buy me a pint and patronise me for a bit.
(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:41, archived)
Still, in other newsmy neighbour was selling an old TV for a fiver. I asked why it was so cheap, he said the volume was stuck on maximum. What a deal - I couldn't turn it down.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:43,
archived)
This whole thread feels a bit like a car crash.¦¦:¬D
(
mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:48,
archived)
if only there were some other interesting status updates to read.(
RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:51,
archived)
Adam Fielding
is loving the sunshiiiinnneeeee x
6 hours ago via BlackBerry · Like ·
(
mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:54,
archived)
well who doesn't love sunshiiiiiiiinneeeee?is that meant to be liam galler doing cigs and alcohol?
(
RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:00,
archived)
It's around here somewhere...somewhere....
yeah... here: '
It must've fallen out of your signature when you weren't looking.
(
RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:49,
archived)
Hello dzoolyWELCOME, don't leave like every other new person
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:51,
archived)
EVERY new person has left???
were you born with 2000 replies?
(
RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 19:52,
archived)
It's the terrible bullying that does it.(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:00,
archived)
Have you considered training Bruce Willisinto becoming a superhero? If not, hello anyway
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:01,
archived)
Hello new personI stayed in a hotel in Harlow once. I think I was the only guest.
/thrilling Essex based anecdote
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:04,
archived)
I met an Essex man once(
RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:06,
archived)
Wow you live in a wheelchair - must be a very big chair or your a very small pwerson.
Is sugar Hut a real place in essex?
(
SoBadItsGood Its only a crime if you earn <£100000, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 20:22,
archived)
