FECKIN CANKLES!Look upon my mighty candles and despair!
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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 22 May 2023, 8:56,
archived)
Happy candles day, whoever you are exactly. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 22 May 2023, 8:59,
archived)
That's the trouble with being invisible- "a light source that is invisible still emits light, but the source of the light cannot be seen"
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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 22 May 2023, 9:13,
archived)
it's brb not bwbbig racist bottom
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 22 May 2023, 1:15,
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that wasn't even good in your head you fucking stupid fucking cunt
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 22 May 2023, 1:19,
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cockroaches can fly.
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 22 May 2023, 1:21,
archived)
short distances, when arousedI learned that from The Roaches Have No King by Daniel Evan Weiss
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mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 22 May 2023, 3:38,
archived)
I'm watching Hook with my son.The evil captain has just gleefully said "To a 10-year-old, I'm huge!". Not a line you'd get in a film these days, I think.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 21 May 2023, 18:39,
archived)
Is spanishfly the exception that proves the rule, or are you just lying?(, Sun 21 May 2023, 19:07, archived)
Jimmy Savile lolFeeling anything?
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mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 20:53,
archived)
I always knew there was something weird about him, and Glitter, and Rolf, and whoever the next one is(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 22:54,
archived)
John Peel and his "schoolgirl of the year"(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 21 May 2023, 23:22,
archived)
I saw Hook in the cinema when I was 11 or 12I think it was the first film I walked out of without seeing the end. Fucking terrible film, no idea why it gets any love.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 21 May 2023, 18:57,
archived)
Don't know why Rob's messing about with FessholeSurely ads from Saga, Sunlife, Specsavers, Co-op funerals, etc would make him a fortune?
(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Sun 21 May 2023, 19:53,
archived)
He's left it too long, I'm too worn out to click(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 23:04,
archived)
Well it got rid of you for a start(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 20:56,
archived)
lol, The Fisher King made you cry and reevaluate your life for an afternoon (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 22:56,
archived)
Seems innocent enough, without the subtext your perverted mind is applying to it.(, Sun 21 May 2023, 19:20, archived)
No, because it's blatantly sizeist (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 20:47,
archived)
In the United States, the term is understood but rarely used.
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Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Sun 21 May 2023, 18:21,
archived)
rude! but funny
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Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Sun 21 May 2023, 19:59,
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I might suck off a Simulant(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 21 May 2023, 15:44,
archived)
the ones i get are usually boil in the vag(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 21 May 2023, 15:50,
archived)
OR, right, or, you could cook some oven chips, then poke them into a slice of bread so they're sticking up, then pour ketchup over it all Voila! Hedgehog roadkill surprise!
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mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 16:18,
archived)
I don't have an ovenIs it okay to use Twiglets and hot sauce?
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Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Sun 21 May 2023, 18:24,
archived)
Hell yes! Regional variations are having a moment right now. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 20:53,
archived)
i'm reading a zarking book(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 21 May 2023, 13:26,
archived)
Is it by Douglas Adams, perchance?(
willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 21 May 2023, 13:28,
archived)
no! i fooled you hahah!(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 21 May 2023, 15:43,
archived)
How, exactly, does one zark?(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 21 May 2023, 13:32,
archived)
Good plan. Cultivating it will mean you don't have to forage for borage. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 21 May 2023, 15:58,
archived)
and hereporchetta on the rotisserie l8r
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Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sun 21 May 2023, 10:13,
archived)
Gibson erotically pleasures herself on stage as a way of reclaiming her autonomy in the wake of physical assaults by men.static.ffx.io/images/$width_644/t_resize_width/q_86%2Cf_auto/2e2b7703e68cf22ff46ec6be929988e4ac72a7ed
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mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 12:06,
archived)
www.acefrehley.com/fan_pics/fp-ace-vip-kids.jpg
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mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 12:25,
archived)
Hi En Hi now m8, the people made their feelings clear in 2016.(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 21 May 2023, 13:21,
archived)
Yeah, just eating custard creams with tea, aciiiiieeedddd (
mongychops, Sun 21 May 2023, 0:12,
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I knew I hadn't seen Martin in a whileI thought something was Amis
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$$ β
, Sun 21 May 2023, 7:40,
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Morning That was a good sleep
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 21 May 2023, 10:20,
archived)
Saturday smelly poo threadI just dun one. Have you just dun one? Then this is the thread for you.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 20 May 2023, 17:55,
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I thought I'd successfully purged that whole episode from my memory, but apparently not.(, Sat 20 May 2023, 20:16, archived)
Same here, what a strange character (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 20 May 2023, 21:11,
archived)
Even if you're lying tell me about it(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 20 May 2023, 22:14,
archived)
It was a b4sh of sortsIn the back garden of the parents of either Brayndedd or his partner whose b3ta name I don't recall. Baldmonkey set fire to an ornamental railway sleeper. I slept in a tent with Rotating Wobbly Hat. Bob Todd stayed up all night with davew27.
Edit: springysunshine, that was her name.
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 20 May 2023, 22:21,
archived)
I played some drunken word association game with Comma, Moohala, Rev CleoWhere everything came back to Easty's cock. Every time.
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 20 May 2023, 22:24,
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She seemed normal, for b3ta.I guess I'd have to ask davew more, but I can't be arsed.
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 20 May 2023, 22:30,
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I never really encountered Baldmonkey, don't even really know what their reputation was, I'm genuinely curious(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 20 May 2023, 22:30,
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Eddie HitlerIn every possible respect.
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 20 May 2023, 22:31,
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He once got bored and disassembled his washing machine on the lawn, just to spell his username out with the parts.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 23 May 2023, 11:36,
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Not since this morning Although my farts could melt your eyebrows
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 20 May 2023, 21:36,
archived)
I've been on them opioids innitSo my poos are all enormous long logs, days apart.
Most uncomfortable.
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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 20 May 2023, 21:42,
archived)
You need to drink more water.Aim for 2 litres per day. And possibly eat more fresh fruit too.
Cocodamol? Got a nice fuzz on?
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 20 May 2023, 22:02,
archived)
I'm easing off the cocodamol nowIt's s bit too fluffy
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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 20 May 2023, 22:22,
archived)
It's horrible get some proper drugs(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 20 May 2023, 22:31,
archived)
I find codeine a bit too moreish. Ibuprofen just gives me awful side effects and absolutely no pain relief. Paracetamol and hash are the way.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 20 May 2023, 23:52,
archived)
Hi tosser'sI'm in Borough Market, having come here to get a sausage roll. It was fucking marvellous. What abite ye nigh?
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Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 20 May 2023, 14:17,
archived)
eating chocolate hobnobsas a prelude to the chicken and sweetcorn soup that my mum is making
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 20 May 2023, 14:45,
archived)
Nice walk among the bluebells in Kinclaven Wood, now finishing my production/QC assignment which is due on on Monday.I say finishing, I mean starting.
(, Sat 20 May 2023, 15:35, archived)
I can't remember the last time I went walking in the bluebell woodsmight have to start doing it again
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 20 May 2023, 15:48,
archived)
I've been wanting to plant bluebells under the trees here but it's considered an invasive species, it chokes out native cover plants(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 21 May 2023, 14:02,
archived)
it baffles me why you're in there in the first place(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 20 May 2023, 17:09,
archived)
Just been to the poncy Dunkertons cider place outside Cheltenham to buy some expensive steak from the artisan butcher there.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 20 May 2023, 18:44,
archived)
The sitcom 'Sorry!' would have been hugely improved if it turned out the whole time Ronnie Corbett was actually his own mother in one of her dresses and Molly Sugden was a mouldering skeleton in the cellar.
(, Sat 20 May 2023, 9:49, archived)
The sitcom 'Allo Allo!' would have been hugely improved if most of the cast had been speaking French and German but with English subtitles.
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Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 20 May 2023, 10:04,
archived)
The sitcom 'Red Dwarf!' would have been hugely improved by a higher budget, better writing, different actors, logical consistency across the seasons, and knowing when to stop.
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Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 20 May 2023, 11:55,
archived)
The sitcom 'The Big Bang Theory!' would have been hugely improved by removing the racism, homophobia, misogyny, and mocking of nerds and ASD, and by putting some actual jokes in it rather than just playing a laugh track after every single sentence.
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Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 20 May 2023, 12:00,
archived)
The sitcom 'Cheers' The sitcom would have been hugely improved by having the characters meet in other places than the bar. For example, Norm and Cliff go to a bordello and knife a prossie in the cunt
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$$ β
, Sat 20 May 2023, 12:09,
archived)
The sitcom 'Fawlty Towers' would have been hugely improved by removing John Cleese from popular awareness back then, before he turned into a living Monty Python sketch.
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mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 20 May 2023, 12:13,
archived)
The sitcom 'Mrs. Brown's Boys' would have been hugely improv... just kidding. That show is perfection already.
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Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Sat 20 May 2023, 12:19,
archived)
The room is packed with arty hotties on the prowl: the fair’s entire point is to have a thorough stickybeak.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 20 May 2023, 12:09,
archived)
you would say that(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 20 May 2023, 3:29,
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“At the time she was Tasered she was approaching police, it is fair to say at a slow pace,” Peter Cotter, the NSW assistant police commissioner, said on Friday. “She had a walking frame. But she had a knife.”(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 20 May 2023, 3:35,
archived)
HELLO NOBWRANGLERS!!HOW MANY NOBS WOULD A NOB NOB NOB IF A NOB NOB COULD NOB NOBS.*
-SIGNED, ALISON KNOB.
*rhetorical q, obvs.
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 19 May 2023, 22:09,
archived)
Fuck off Alison.(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 19 May 2023, 22:12,
archived)
and on and onand Alison
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 19 May 2023, 22:13,
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You can fuck off an all(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 19 May 2023, 22:25,
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NORMAN! MISERYCUNT IS SWEARING AGAIN!(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 19 May 2023, 22:47,
archived)
β―Ν( Ν‘ποΈβ―ΝΰΌΌποΈΰΌΌ Ν‘βΩΝβΰΌ½ Ν‘ποΈΰΌ½ Ν‘ποΈ(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 23:18,
archived)
NORMAN! HES DOING THAT EYE THING AGAIN NORMAN!(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 19 May 2023, 23:22,
archived)
JESUS CHRIST NORMAN! STOP HIM!!!!(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 20 May 2023, 1:03,
archived)
i actually have one of your creations as my username somewheregod it's hideous
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 20 May 2023, 1:04,
archived)
ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏ'ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\Π·=(•_•)=ε/Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ/’ΜΏ’ΜΏ ΜΏ ΜΏ(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 20 May 2023, 3:45,
archived)
as your username, what do you mean(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 20 May 2023, 3:46,
archived)
ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏΜΏ ΜΏ'ΜΏ'\Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ\Π·=(•_•)=ε/Μ΅ΝΜΏΜΏ/’ΜΏ’ΜΏ ΜΏ ΜΏ licky bum bum brown, Sat 20 May 2023, 18:45, Add friend, Ignore, Hide, Delete, Edit, I like this! Reply) (
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 20 May 2023, 18:45,
archived)
4/7, odd because I thought I was doing really wellwww.bbc.com/news/world-65619712
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mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 18:58,
archived)
If you're referring to the sound similarity between the words "haddock" and "headache," then I understand your point.Indeed, there is a phonetic resemblance between the two words. However, it's important to note that haddock is still a fish species and not directly associated with headaches or any medical condition. The similarity in sound is coincidental and unrelated to any ailment or discomfort.
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 19:16,
archived)
Haddock is still a fish species, still no change there, consequently DO NOT adjust your haddock status indicators(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 19:40,
archived)
He then spread his legs to put himself at a similar altitude to Kim, a move known in South Korea as “manner legs”, meant to level the height between two people.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 20:42,
archived)
His arse was probably still smaller than hers, though. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 19 May 2023, 20:48,
archived)
I'm not sure what this means but I'm firing up the klaxon just in case(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 23:16,
archived)
7/7, explosive!(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 19 May 2023, 20:23,
archived)
going to fire up the grill in a bit(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 16:42,
archived)
'not spending a load of cash on records' is also not my forte today(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 17:16,
archived)
I've gone nuts on the skinhead reggae 45s, like about 10 records(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 17:41,
archived)
Ok, so do they taste of skins, or of heads?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 19:01,
archived)
Solesides? Is he a mate of Aristophanes?
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 19 May 2023, 18:18,
archived)
Customer of the day: Billy RingerHad to wait til I got home to share that with my forum chums cos my work have got wise to b3ta and blocked it for offensive content, the fucking stupid fucking cunts
(
broadsword, Fri 19 May 2023, 17:52,
archived)
"You can't add any more friends, sorry."I don't seem to be able to remove any either, still at least I've not ignored myself.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 19 May 2023, 18:59,
archived)
Aha! It turns out I can remove them individually with the x by their names in each post.Can't do it from my profile page though. :/
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 19 May 2023, 19:07,
archived)
Be careful not to press X twice, you might get an IT worker after you(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 19 May 2023, 19:21,
archived)
don't worry, they'll remove themselves(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 19 May 2023, 20:03,
archived)
friday woo, friday teh quo, friday fucklift, friday that man with the funny face doing a splattery shitHello knobtit's, how r u 2day? up to much this weekend? fuck all here
might teabag a terrapin
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Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 12:22,
archived)
Heading orf tomorrow for a week with the parents.Should be good, they can take care of the nipper so the Mrs and I can get some proper rest for once.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 19 May 2023, 12:31,
archived)
good stuffI've got my mums visiting in a couple of weeks to go to the Persia exhibition at the British Museum, very much looking forward to that
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Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 12:35,
archived)
excellent, have fun m8, whereabouts?now my sister in law has split up with her bellend husband that clears the way for us to go and visit her in NYC, not been there since the 90s
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Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 12:38,
archived)
Chicago, just for the week.Never been, and itβs my first holiday in 4 years so canβt wait!
Never been to NYC but itβs on my list
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Cheers Cheers, Fri 19 May 2023, 12:39,
archived)
my father lived in Chicago for a few years, it's fucking brilliant thereespecially if you collect records, I got armfuls of blues LPs for $2-3 a pop
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Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 12:43,
archived)
A lot of folks have said the same so really looking forward to it *edit* I do collect LPs but itβs hand luggage only so unfortunately no room for much
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 19 May 2023, 12:45,
archived)
Long time I ago I went out with a girl who lived there, so I made several visits.One thing I noticed is that it smells of steak. Wherever you go, you can smell someone frying steak. It's maddening.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 19 May 2023, 12:56,
archived)
that's a nicer smell than East Ham(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 13:01,
archived)
Yes, America smells predominantly of charred flesh and synthetic fragrancesand fried food, and awful coffee
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 15:38,
archived)
I hope you're going to buy an assault rifle and go on a killing spree, it's all the rage these days(, Fri 19 May 2023, 12:38, archived)
You know, if you're going to purchase a deadly weapon and a bunch of ammo but you also have a few bits to get for dinner, go to Walmart, you can do both(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 15:43,
archived)
I'd take care not to push in line though(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 15:44,
archived)
this againwww.youtube.com/watch?v=xhXPzFG6b3M
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 15:51,
archived)
In Freedom-loving states, kids should open carry in schools, as a defence against external school shooters.Also it'll bring an end to all bullying, or at least make it very brief.
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 19 May 2023, 16:01,
archived)
It takes a good bully with a gun to stop a bad bully with a gun(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 19 May 2023, 19:02,
archived)
Oysters, soup...and chicken gunt: What are the G7 leaders having for dinner?(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 19 May 2023, 13:04,
archived)
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 19 May 2023, 13:36,
archived)
Might add a slice of wafer thin ham to my cheese sandwich (
$$ β
, Fri 19 May 2023, 13:54,
archived)
24p + 19pgroceries.aldi.co.uk/en-GB/p-ashfield-farm-dry-cured-wafer-thin-oak-smoked-ham-120g/4088600334783
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 19 May 2023, 14:06,
archived)
Take 15p off if you're not worried whether your cheese has much cheese in itgroceries.aldi.co.uk/en-GB/p-everyday-essentials-cheesy-singles-255g15-pack/4088600086392
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 19 May 2023, 14:07,
archived)
Just watching a documentary before work Nothing planned for the weekend, except avoiding the mental and not getting sunburn
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 19 May 2023, 14:47,
archived)
Ooh ah willy willy smegma willy willy smegma we love youNot really, morning
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 6:52,
archived)
Fuck you, Swank. Fu oh morning Queefy.(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 19 May 2023, 7:17,
archived)
hi m8Just bought the '007 Licenced to Ska' 7" box set and have been chatting on WhatsApp with my mate about billy comedowns. Busy busy
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 7:49,
archived)
Morning queef, funnily enough I had the same tune in my head last night but with the lyrics 'shitty wiffy guff bang'(
broadsword, Fri 19 May 2023, 7:26,
archived)
Next up: Ai chatbot care navigators for a leaner, more efficient NHS.Probably it'll go like the last time I tried to ring my bank, where a computer asked me to state my query three times and then just cut the call. Not allowing anyone else on will certainly get those hospital waiting lists down!
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 19 May 2023, 7:41,
archived)
Haha, you got that right! Blimmin Tories!(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 7:51,
archived)
I'm sorry, I couldn't understand your answer. But it sounds like you want us to mail you a tiny quantity of Polonium-210 to put you out of our misery.If this is correct, say Yes. If this is not correct, say Yes. To speak to a human operator, call back between 3am and 3:05am.
Note that our lines can be very busy at those times, so you may want to hang up and try later in the day.
Inpatient Prevention is an unexpectedly popular service right now, so your parcel may take two to three weeks to arrive.
Thank you for using e-NHS Final Solutions.
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 19 May 2023, 8:05,
archived)
You can cancel this parcel at any time in the next 24 hours using the eNHSFS App. Download it now from the App Store!Note that this requires iOS 16.5.
Don't have a smartphone? FUCK YOU.
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 19 May 2023, 8:50,
archived)
I don't know whether "put you out of our misery" was intentional or a typo, but it's great nonetheless.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 19 May 2023, 11:58,
archived)
When I started typing all this shit it said "everyone's" but I thought this way was more subtle, cheers.(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 19 May 2023, 12:14,
archived)
Well ring my bell and call me a telephoneit's Friday and a half!
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 19 May 2023, 8:17,
archived)
morningOne of our support workers was caught drinking a bottle of water in a clean room. I've been given the delightful role of investigating officer in the misconduct process.
My ex-colleague's partner previously described this lady as having a "pus [face] like a melted welly", and I fear that's the only phrase I'll be able to think of when I interview her.
(, Fri 19 May 2023, 8:20, archived)
it is weekend-o'clock here, Rich-o(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Fri 19 May 2023, 8:34,
archived)
Morning The mental has lost her gas card. She's phoned me 5 times in the last hour to tell me this and ask if she can use mine. Every time, I have to tell her that we're not with the same company for gas and my card won't work in her meter. Estimating 10 minutes before she calls again.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 19 May 2023, 9:25,
archived)
christmy mother in law apparently now thinks everyone is trying to poison her, is refusing to go into the home they found for her which will inevitably result in her being sectioned and put somewhere horrible
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Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 10:47,
archived)
yeah it's awfulwife is going to have to fly out in the next couple of weeks, at vast expense, to see someone who might not even recognise her
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Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 19 May 2023, 11:02,
archived)
She's getting increasingly hostile The police are fed up with her complaining about neighbours, the family has pretty much washed their hands of her and she's very close to being arrested and/or sectioned
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 19 May 2023, 11:09,
archived)
IT'S BEER O'COCK!(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 18 May 2023, 16:16,
archived)
I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 18 May 2023, 16:28,
archived)
It is now (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 18 May 2023, 19:39,
archived)
b3ta.com/talk/8370919
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 18 May 2023, 20:45,
archived)
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