God only lets things grow until they're perfect. Some of us didn't take as long as others!(, Thu 18 May 2023, 12:30, archived)
Mine's so small, it doesn't exist (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 18 May 2023, 12:41,
archived)
anatomically, the clitoris is a bellend(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Thu 18 May 2023, 14:51,
archived)
I believe this is a offensive term towards people who are insecure about their size, and people who defend insults like "small dick energy" are full aware that they cannot justify its use by logic. Its absolutely offensive and ridicules people with small dicks. To say something else is ridiculous. Just accept that you are making fun of small dicks and move on.
We all know what would happen if Tate said something like "loose p energy" or some such garbage. It's not okay to make fun of someone for something they can't change.
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 18 May 2023, 13:34,
archived)
I'm very partial to Little Willywww.youtube.com/watch?v=NM6I-pmV0RA
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 18 May 2023, 13:58,
archived)
I prefer the 1973 cartoon masterpiece King Dick (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 18 May 2023, 14:01,
archived)
I got a little willy, I put it in me bum...(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 18 May 2023, 15:47,
archived)
Karina Gasparova also claimed that when Alexander Goulandris renamed a work file with his initials 'ajg' it was an abbreviation of "A Jumbo Genital".(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 18 May 2023, 15:40,
archived)
I wasn't saying that making her ova gasp would be my decision or choice(, Thu 18 May 2023, 16:15, archived)
or that it would benefit her mental health(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 18 May 2023, 16:56,
archived)
First page of google results brings up a LinkedIn profile, which I assume is hers since it's been deactivated.(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 18 May 2023, 16:50,
archived)
It probably lacked jumbo genital energy(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 18 May 2023, 16:57,
archived)
AJG has a market cap or net worth of $46.59 billion as of May 16, 2023. Its market cap has increased by 34.84% in one year.(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 18 May 2023, 16:24,
archived)
would you look at the size of that thing(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 18 May 2023, 18:16,
archived)
A JUMBO GENITALππ!!!
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 18 May 2023, 15:49,
archived)
Sound effects are great, especially the sound the elephant makes when he jumps.(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 18 May 2023, 15:53,
archived)
At about 1 minute 50www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai3-iDPIti4
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 18 May 2023, 18:08,
archived)
do you have small willy syndrome or something?(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 18 May 2023, 7:18,
archived)
Small Willy Syndrome (1912-1959) was an influential blues guitarist from Missouri who is chiefly remembered for popularizing the blues standard, "A Jumbo Genital"(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 18 May 2023, 15:48,
archived)
No, why don't you go fuck yourself(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 18 May 2023, 10:30,
archived)
The "new" printer has arrivedI mean Β£29 for a reconditioned printer/scanner seems ridiculous to me. Anyway, got a HP identical to the old one that died so I can just drop in the print cartridges as being half-used they're almost certainly worth more than the printer.
Yes. It's that exciting here and anecdotes are DEFINITELY my forte.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 18 May 2023, 8:20,
archived)
this the kind of content quality b3ta fails to achieve(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Thu 18 May 2023, 9:21,
archived)
*prints out comment and sticks to fridge*(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 18 May 2023, 9:34,
archived)
alrite planearm(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 18 May 2023, 10:42,
archived)
alrightI did a trial shift at a luxury cookware place in Islington yesterday and was offered a job but I'm not taking it. I got strong 'badly run small business' vibes and they were basically expecting me to do the manager's job for the same money as the general staff.
tl;dr GUNTSHIT
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Thu 18 May 2023, 9:59,
archived)
They were impressed by the show of dominance(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 18 May 2023, 10:48,
archived)
yeah, that story is fucking ridiculous, I'm amazed her claims got as far as they didA JUMBO GENITAL
(, Thu 18 May 2023, 12:19, archived)
No doubt they had to go through the motions(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 18 May 2023, 12:33,
archived)
morning dutch ovens(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 18 May 2023, 5:50,
archived)
soz, meant to be an answer to the last thread(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 17 May 2023, 20:46,
archived)
penis cheddar(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 17 May 2023, 22:32,
archived)
'Stinking Bishop' works quite well as it is(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 17 May 2023, 22:06,
archived)
I am hernia'd up At least one, probably 2, but the second site needs a deeper scan.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 17 May 2023, 22:25,
archived)
what's something that doesn't really feel great but you still don't give a shit?(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 17 May 2023, 20:32,
archived)
What’s something that doesn’t really smell great, but you keep wanting to smell it anyway?(, Wed 17 May 2023, 16:05, archived)
What happened to that guy anyway, finally died in front of the telly under the weight of mash & dvd's, rip(
broadsword, Wed 17 May 2023, 16:35,
archived)
massive drugs(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 17 May 2023, 16:44,
archived)
ShapesJackie and Dean get trapped inside The Album. Mr Sellers gives his heart to Miss Black. The Bumbles look at circular things, and the crazy world of the Arcade continues.
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 17 May 2023, 17:43,
archived)
Oh, think twess, it's just another day for you and me with sandwiches(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 17 May 2023, 19:08,
archived)
Two slices of Aldi Everyday Essentials Medium Sliced White Bread toasted(
$$ β
, Wed 17 May 2023, 19:30,
archived)
39p for 22 slices, let's say 4p for two, plus 20p for some cheese.(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 17 May 2023, 20:30,
archived)
You could do this twice and still have change from a pound to pick up some bargain meat.(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 17 May 2023, 20:35,
archived)
My treat, yeah? Four rounds at The Nailgun and then dinner.(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 17 May 2023, 12:39,
archived)
I'll have the Quad Damage Burger, please.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 17 May 2023, 14:10,
archived)
afternoon twatslappers(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 17 May 2023, 12:21,
archived)
Afternoon (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 17 May 2023, 12:31,
archived)
hello ms monkey 2(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 17 May 2023, 12:32,
archived)
CΜΈΜΜΝΜΜΜΜ¬Μ³hΜ·ΜΜΜ±ΜΜΜΜ«Μ‘ΝeΜ·ΜΜΜΜΜΜ¬ΜΜ»ΜΝΝeΜ΄ΜΏΜΝΝΜΜΜΜ©ΝΜ¨ΝΜΜ―ΝrΜΈΜΜΝΜΝΝΝΜΜ Μ±Μ²ΝΜΜΜsΜ΅ΜΜ‘Ν
Μ’ΝΜ‘(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 17 May 2023, 14:09,
archived)
My other half wants to buy a Vauxhall Mokka because it's got heated leather seats*are you faced with any fates worse than death?
*when I said "okay, if you want" he admitted it suddenly seemed less appealing if I didn't object. Like sex really.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 17 May 2023, 9:59,
archived)
My car has heated lumbar support and its fucking heaven(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 17 May 2023, 10:13,
archived)
yeawe had a car with all the frills but had to get shot of it as it was an older diesel and wouldn't comply with the ULEZ. We ended up getting a cheap old petrol as we don't really need a car but other half is sick of bangernomics and wants luxury.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 17 May 2023, 10:21,
archived)
(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 17 May 2023, 11:12,
archived)
I'm facing a boring wait In the hospital, before getting scanned for a hernia
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 17 May 2023, 10:45,
archived)
thought you had a cough(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 17 May 2023, 11:00,
archived)
That's well gone (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 17 May 2023, 12:02,
archived)
Ugh, hernias are horribleJust had mine fixed last week, and the surgery has left me more feeble (at the moment) than the hernia did.
Didn't even have anyone attractive to shave my belly or anything. I've been lied to by the fillums, I tell you!
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 17 May 2023, 14:14,
archived)
As if CZJ gives a fuck what some cunt DM hack says about her *knees*God, I feel violently sick thinking about the state of their shitey little minds, fucking Mail wankers.
Why dyou have to remind me they exist? I was just about to go to sleep too. Fucking nightmares now.
Ugh.
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 17 May 2023, 22:39,
archived)
Take inspiration from Nero's audience in acienct RomeThe story about Nero playing music while Rome burned doesnβt just come from nowhere. Nero loved the artsβfrom music to the theaterβand performed every chance he got.
He even locked the gates of the theater when he performed. Then he put on incredibly long performances, requiring the audience to listen attentively and clap. People would leap over the walls or even fake their own deaths to get out of these performances. According to the Roman historian Suetonius, one performance went on so long that a woman gave birth while Nero played.
listverse.com/2016/08/08/10-stories-about-nero-more-shocking-than-fiction/
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 17 May 2023, 11:32,
archived)
why fake it? just go the whole hog and messily KYS in the meeting(, Wed 17 May 2023, 11:45, archived)
fumbles for snooze button(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 17 May 2023, 6:55,
archived)
A classic getting to sleep brain dumpLol dump
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 17 May 2023, 9:30,
archived)
Shitty ploppy bumholes, seeping pissy cockssorry, I mean morning
(
broadsword, Wed 17 May 2023, 8:55,
archived)
Have you signed up to a Duolingo course in how to swear in Canadian? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 16 May 2023, 22:25,
archived)
sounds plausible tbh(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 17 May 2023, 2:22,
archived)
Bollocksbag(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 May 2023, 23:59,
archived)
what proof is it?(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Tue 16 May 2023, 16:33,
archived)
i wasn't bready for that(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Tue 16 May 2023, 16:45,
archived)
Popular /board member and full-time racist, LS18 has me on 2.0Donβt think Iβve ever interacted with them. Classic upset, online behaviour.
(
Cheers Cheers, Tue 16 May 2023, 17:06,
archived)
Ignore all the other users and then click all your posts onto the popular page with spare accounts, definitely nothing unhinged about this behaviour(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 16 May 2023, 17:14,
archived)
Dunno why he hasn't been banned for posting then deleting, thousands of times(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 16 May 2023, 18:20,
archived)
The user who posts the kind of jokes you might find in novelty xmas joke books you mean(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 16 May 2023, 18:45,
archived)
Just the once? No wonder he's upset. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 16 May 2023, 18:42,
archived)
I've tried to clarify with a couple of "fuck offs" and a "bollocks"(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 16 May 2023, 18:49,
archived)
You should reply to his posts anyway, he always checks so he obviously loves it.
(, Tue 16 May 2023, 22:26, archived)
BIRD FLU, quick buy all the toilet roll and pasta!!1(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 16 May 2023, 18:22,
archived)
Panic buy spaghetti AND toilet roll? Not me, I use new Pasta 'n' Goβ’
The only bumrag made from 100% Durum wheat
Unavailable in Italy due to ongoing legal proceedings
(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Tue 16 May 2023, 18:58,
archived)
I was actually thinking it might be possible to wrap tissue paper around pasta tubes and thread them onto a toilet roll holder (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 16 May 2023, 19:02,
archived)
20 bead punsI'm beading the way to success!"
"Don't bead around the bush!"
"That's the perfect bead-le of creativity!"
"Bead-utiful things happen when you're crafting."
"Bead-vised: Always stay positive and bead-acious!"
"When in doubt, just bead it!"
"Let's make every day a bead-iful adventure."
"Beady or not, here I come!"
"I'm beading my heart out!"
"Life is better when you're beading."
"Bead-y or not, here I come!"
"Bead-le the way and inspire others."
"Bead-cause I'm happy!"
"Bead-azzle them with your creativity!"
"Bead-hold, the power of imagination!"
"Bead-ware of my crafty skills!"
"Bead-utiful things come in small packages."
"Bead-hind every great design is a creative mind."
"Bead-ventures await at every turn."
"Stay calm and bead on!"
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 16 May 2023, 23:23,
archived)
do you think these would be appropriate to read out at the funeral of a friend who liked beadsWhile humor can help alleviate grief in some situations, it's important to be sensitive and considerate when delivering eulogies or speeches at a funeral. Given the solemnity of the occasion, it might be more appropriate to focus on heartfelt memories and the positive impact your friend had on others, rather than using puns specifically related to beads.
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 16 May 2023, 23:28,
archived)
Patent this, you'll be a millionaire(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Tue 16 May 2023, 19:45,
archived)
Pushing that breadmaking prick down the board(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 16 May 2023, 12:06,
archived)
We don't import that foreign shite anymore. Its British beer only now, with sovereign malt and hops.(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 16 May 2023, 12:16,
archived)
And then Gary Kemp did a TV series about itOr was it Hugh Grant? Either way, I expect they all got ASBOs and a cruise.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 16 May 2023, 13:12,
archived)
They started making pornwww.trigafilms.com/catalog/triga-british/
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 16 May 2023, 13:31,
archived)
MODS!Well I assume they are, at least- my understanding of fashion subculture is limited at best
(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 16 May 2023, 13:43,
archived)
Not sure tracksuits, carling, council estates and gay group sex are very "mod"more "niche"
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 16 May 2023, 14:31,
archived)
Well, if the 80s taught me anything, it that if they're not rockers, they're obviously mods(
Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 16 May 2023, 17:51,
archived)
Access deniedError code 1020
You do not have access to www.trigafilms.com.
The site owner may have set restrictions that prevent you from accessing the site.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 16 May 2023, 14:40,
archived)
Perhaps they're suspicious that you're one of those lefties(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 16 May 2023, 15:13,
archived)
Still trying to get to Suckham eh?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 16 May 2023, 15:32,
archived)
Remember the good old days, when a London pint would set you back a mere five pounds?(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 16 May 2023, 12:38,
archived)
I do like to drink a London pint while listening to the London Suede(, Tue 16 May 2023, 13:11, archived)
I didn't even know about that, fucking hell(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 16 May 2023, 13:13,
archived)
it is - bit weird at first as you don't actually control your character but once you get the hang of what the cards and items do it's pretty engrossingIt's on Game Pass if you use that.
(, Tue 16 May 2023, 14:27, archived)
I got to the Michael Hutchence level(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 16 May 2023, 15:18,
archived)
Jason Londonovan(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 May 2023, 14:49,
archived)
Londough Calrissantana(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 May 2023, 15:00,
archived)
Bun Jovi (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 16 May 2023, 14:11,
archived)
The Leaveners(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 16 May 2023, 14:53,
archived)
Peter Doughertyhandily, that doubles as a description of him too
(, Tue 16 May 2023, 13:40, archived)
Vanilla Slice (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 16 May 2023, 14:58,
archived)
MorningI got a breadmaker machine yesterday and had breadmakermachinemadebread toast for breakfast. It was fine. I think it'd be better if the yeast wasn't BBF 2021.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 16 May 2023, 8:57,
archived)
Wait until you're making sun dried tomato and olive loavesThen come back and talk to me, fucko
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 16 May 2023, 8:58,
archived)
Started with organic wholemealit was okay, bit close crumb but nice crust, cooked all the way through. Could probably do with a smidge more salt.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 16 May 2023, 8:59,
archived)
It's underestimated in breadmaking, saltYou do have to be quite careful, but a little over the recommendation isn't usually a bad thing.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 16 May 2023, 9:07,
archived)
non-sourdough wholemeal will have a close crumb by definition(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Tue 16 May 2023, 9:44,
archived)
thou shalt not forgetteth ye onions and garlic!(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Tue 16 May 2023, 9:38,
archived)
Morning Bread is one thing that I have never mastered. It's always too doughy.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 16 May 2023, 9:41,
archived)
I'm getting reasonably good at it now, after a number of failurespractice (and a decent recipe) really does help
in other news I have a phone interview with the MD of a luxury cookwear supplier & cookery school, I'd really like the job. Just waiting to hear when the call is
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Tue 16 May 2023, 9:43,
archived)
Sounds great I would love an interview with the makers of Le Creuset cookware, just to see if I could get some freebies. I won't bother trying to make bread again, not worth it, considering how much eating it hurts.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 16 May 2023, 10:13,
archived)
we've got an almost full set of Le Creuset stuff which were indeed freebiessister in law used to be a stylist for wanky New York magazines and as such got a shitload of fancy stuff over the years
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Tue 16 May 2023, 10:36,
archived)
Nice Saw a lovely looking red Le Creuset casserole dish and cover in a charity shop for Β£5. I was going to buy it, until I looked inside. Absolutely fucking ruined.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 16 May 2023, 10:54,
archived)
You can get them re-enamelled I believe(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Tue 16 May 2023, 11:53,
archived)
you can test the yeast buy adding a couple of teaspoons to a bit of warm water and some sugarif it foams up after 5-10 mins you're good to go. Tip 2 = keep it in the freezer and it will last pretty much indefinitely
tl;dr morning
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Tue 16 May 2023, 9:41,
archived)
I keep mine in the fridgeThere are some hand recipes where I kick off with warm water and yeast.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 16 May 2023, 9:49,
archived)
I'm a poolish/biga no knead bread man, cba with feeding sourdough startersu?
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Tue 16 May 2023, 9:56,
archived)
make sure you use quick yeast suitable for breadmakers(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Tue 16 May 2023, 10:48,
archived)
fuck that, scrape it out from the nearest thrushy minge.For all intents and purposes, it's the same stuff.
(, Tue 16 May 2023, 11:51, archived)
Suella Bollocks 4 PM, let's take back control(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 16 May 2023, 7:34,
archived)
"The public deserted us in droves in the local elections not because we've been shit at running the country for two decades but because Rishi is weak, we should lurch even FURTHER to the right"Aww bless
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 16 May 2023, 8:06,
archived)
Only 12 years, it feels like so much longer(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 16 May 2023, 8:11,
archived)
Don't be ridiculous, they've been out of power since Corbyn's enormous victory in 2017./Chomsky
(, Tue 16 May 2023, 8:29, archived)
This is a sobering and all-too plausible take on what it all really means.UK Tea Party here we come!
(, Tue 16 May 2023, 9:11, archived)
Yeah, busy busyBut in a good way.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 15 May 2023, 23:50,
archived)
You've got some home improvements going on i think, my turn soon, hands are slowly improving(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 16 May 2023, 0:01,
archived)
What's the upper age limit on a child you'd confidently say you could beat up if that child was a martial arts champion within their own age group? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 15 May 2023, 20:11,
archived)
Depending on their height and weight 14
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 15 May 2023, 20:12,
archived)
I reckon there are probably some pretty hard 13-year-olds out there. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 15 May 2023, 20:57,
archived)
A little-known school of kung fu, derived from the famous 'Drunken Master', called 'Damp Spastic.'(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 15 May 2023, 20:58,
archived)
The school of the legendary "Clammy Hand" technique (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 21:02,
archived)
Kick them in the nads Then sit down and use my weight against their lifting techniques
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 15 May 2023, 22:49,
archived)
No, that would be stupid.Typical bloody American.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 15 May 2023, 20:57,
archived)
MAH RIGHTS! MAH GOD-GIVEN RIGHTS!(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 20:59,
archived)
Assuming that they are ONLY allowed to use martial arts moves and I'm allowed to punch then as hard as possible in the face / kick them as hard as possible in the bollocks I'm fairly confident I could beat up a 12 year old(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 15 May 2023, 21:34,
archived)
Thank you for this considered answer. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 15 May 2023, 21:35,
archived)
I hope this helps with your research(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 15 May 2023, 21:36,
archived)
A storm drain must be the worst possible environment for a child to learn martial arts.It's pitch black, smells of shit and you'd keep slipping over with all the water everywhere. And there's no facilities for hand washing before you handle your post-fight pizza.
(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 15 May 2023, 22:12,
archived)
All of those things help build character and valuable intestinal bacteria (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 22:18,
archived)
This is a really good question, I'll give it some thought and get back to you asap.:ETA:
One must consider which martial discipline would be toughest to beat, but also which produces or attracts the largest, toughest, and most violent fighters.
I'm 99kg, just under 2m tall with quite a solid jaw, but almost anyone under 18 is going to have significant advantages over me in terms of speed and stamina, a martial arts champion especially so...
High school seniors, no chance. Juniors, maybe.
I'd like to think I could beat anyone under 10, but I've seen some fast and vicious little boxers who could properly knock me out with a lucky or well timed hit, and I've seen some chunky judoka/rikishi who perhaps outweigh me, so I'll drop it to anyone under 9...
But there must be some 8 year old submission artists out there, so I can't guarantee that one couldn't trip me up and lock me into something I'd instantly tap out to, so let's drop it to somewhere around 6.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 15 May 2023, 22:13,
archived)
no it's about fighting not dating(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 22:57,
archived)
They ask for directions to the fictional town of Suckham, which is pronounced "Suckem"(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 23:39,
archived)
Ok, forget it. Any idea how I can get to Suckham from here?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 23:49,
archived)
Excuse me? The quickest way to Suckham? (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 23:54,
archived)
We just can't seem to find the way to Suckham, we've been at this hours!(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 23:56,
archived)
Some kid has developed a habit of chaining his bike to our deck before he takes the school bus, I've just bought a sledgehammer to help break the cycle (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 23:05,
archived)
Cut the chain so he thinks it got stolen(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 15 May 2023, 23:15,
archived)
This lie is spinning out of control, I know that sounds like it's trying to be a pun but it isn't (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 23:44,
archived)
Combine these two and you'd have a full head of hairichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/976x549/p0fnbyxn.jpg
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Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 15 May 2023, 23:17,
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(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 15 May 2023, 19:33,
archived)
Is it still 98% water tho?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 20:03,
archived)
That's probably close to the water content of most beers, in all fairness. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 15 May 2023, 20:08,
archived)
You're completely spoiling this for me you know(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 21:03,
archived)
They're always naked aren't they?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 16:50,
archived)
Sinitta don't want no "boy who thinks he's a girl", CANCEL NOW(
Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 15 May 2023, 16:19,
archived)
it's beer o'cock!(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 15 May 2023, 16:22,
archived)
tempted but really overdid it on the weekend (
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Mon 15 May 2023, 16:27,
archived)
go on mate crack one open(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 15 May 2023, 16:28,
archived)
Shove some billy down your japper whilst you're at it(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 15 May 2023, 16:30,
archived)
the only alcohol I have in the house is Shaosing cooking wineLaziness may yet save me
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Mon 15 May 2023, 16:34,
archived)
I want to get a tortilla press but I'm not allowed :((
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Mon 15 May 2023, 17:36,
archived)
Get a mexican maid, cheaper and greater utility(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 17:51,
archived)
Thanks, Donnie!πΊπΈππΊπΈβ€οΈπΊπΈπ«πΊπΈ #MAGA24 #DT4P47
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Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 15 May 2023, 18:53,
archived)
I saw some recent non-combative interviews with some of his followers. The most common thing they highlighted about him that they admired was... his integrity.
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 19:19,
archived)
Viewed a certain way, that's exactly what it is. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 20:11,
archived)
ffs Queef you only need the threat, you don't need the maid. I'm trying to help you get a tortilla press here. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 19:14,
archived)
Your scheme, not a tortilla press :((
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Mon 15 May 2023, 19:55,
archived)
bollocks, pop along to Aldi and pick up a load of their pilsner(, Mon 15 May 2023, 17:08, archived)
The Danish word for food is mad(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 16:47,
archived)
Sensitivity readers hate this word for food in Danish!(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 17:58,
archived)
it's what the MA in NOMA representswhich sounds like one of my ludicrous lies but is in fact true
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 15 May 2023, 18:01,
archived)
God I wish I couldHad so much opioid painkillers I won't even fart for the next month.
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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 15 May 2023, 17:30,
archived)
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