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morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Apr 2025, 7:15, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 7:17, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Apr 2025, 7:24, archived)
Happy N'Ko Alphabet Day to all Mande speakers!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 8:07, archived)
Happy Aphex Twin day too!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 8:08, archived)
Windowlicker

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:19, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 8:59, archived)
Charli XCX has great tits

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Apr 2025, 9:26, archived)

Charli XCX has great tits

GUFFCHEESE
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:11, archived)
GUFFCHEESE BEBBEH!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:14, archived)
Google confirms

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:20, archived)
Impeccable, aren't they?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:23, archived)
I asked Jeeves and he agreed

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:27, archived)
Alta Vista has no idea who that is

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:28, archived)
Some kind of yahoo according to bing

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:31, archived)
disgusting
this is a family forum
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:41, archived)
Great tits tho

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Apr 2025, 10:46, archived)
It is morning
- in this hemisphere, at least.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 6:40, archived)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 6:54, archived)
It is also Burt Gummer day
So I'm watching tremors
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 7:31, archived)
I love Tremors so much like to an embarrassing extent

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 16:35, archived)
I've watched the first 5
I'll watch the last 2 after work
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 16:53, archived)
I'm sure I've seen the 1st 2 films. Positive.
I'm almost positive I've seen 3. I think I've seen 4. I doubt I've seen 5. Definitely not seen either of the TV shows or anything recent. Was not aware of a day dedicated to one of the supporting characters until now.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 17:38, archived)
Burt is a supporting character in the first 2
And mostly the main character in the other 5
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 18:15, archived)
Yeah that rings a bell...
They're fine schlock but nothing to passionately argue over on the internet imho.

Unless it's a debate on which is the best fictional subterranean predator, obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 18:59, archived)
This will only be a quick thread because I'm in a hurry.
Alright?
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:43, archived)
Make like a tree and die in a fire

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:00, archived)
BIRCH are YEW FIR real??

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:24, archived)
In wider definitions, the taller palms, tree ferns, bananas, and bamboos are also trees.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:30, archived)
How many ferns?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 22:39, archived)
let's try for a two fern

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 23:08, archived)
ps. fuck off brb

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 23:22, archived)
well I'm having a fucking awful afternoon after an optimistic start to the day
Tears and shouting and i don't actually think i want to leave the house ever again.

You?
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 15:17, archived)
ps. happy birthday broadsword
Sorry for ruining that but i ruin everything apparently so i can make no exceptions
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 15:18, archived)
fuck off then

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 15:31, archived)
Hello MiseryCunt

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 15:43, archived)
alrite

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:19, archived)
oh piss off then
you big nosed rubber faced bastard
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:08, archived)
Do you need a hug? I think you need a hug.
I would like to offer you a hug in what is clearly a difficult time for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:09, archived)
i'd rather pull out my big toenails and shove them under my eyelids

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:20, archived)
Ok well the offer remains open.
Or alternatively, fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:26, archived)
oh charming.
fuck you an all you big shit gay nob
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:29, archived)
love you

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:34, archived)
i can't feel love anymore. sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:36, archived)
how about now
*squeezes*
*tickles behind ear*
*gently pats each tentacle*
*varnishes hooves*
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:48, archived)
nothing. soz.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 21:15, archived)
oh I'm sorry I'm going to try again and really concentrate this time
it would help quite a bit I think if you could take that glass cloche off you tbh
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 21:40, archived)
i can't. very difficult to remove a cloche from the inside.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 21:45, archived)
aHA!
*takes cloche off for you*
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 21:51, archived)
now i feel exposed

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 23:07, archived)
yessssss you feel something YOU FEEL SOMETHING \o/ \o/ \o/

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 13:55, archived)
Whay the fuck is up

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:09, archived)
oh i've upset my mum whilst putting a pipe into her butt

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:19, archived)
ceci n'est pas normale

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:28, archived)
i know
normally she loves it
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:30, archived)
drainpipe and water butt, obvs

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:31, archived)
lol butt

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:58, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 21:17, archived)
Well that doesn't sound very good

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:20, archived)
b3ta, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:31, archived)
1) your moods are leaves, they change quickly. 2) you're a branch, you change more slowly, but you experience the frequent changes of the leaves.
3) there's a trunk.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:31, archived)
4) you have dutch elm disease

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:33, archived)
I was going to add an axe
too dark pos.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:34, archived)
5) A dog is pissing on you

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:12, archived)
i'm already surrounded by shits so

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:19, archived)
His bark is worse than his bite.
His posts are worse than Andrei Chikatilo.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 13 Apr 2025, 17:53, archived)

Following numerous murders and subsequent cases from wrongful death lawyers tied to him, the Supreme Court sentenced him to death in 1994.
If you have experienced a wrongful death or know someone who has experienced wrongful death, reach out to Robert J. Debry & Associates for help.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:25, archived)
You're saying he should make like a tree and leave?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 17:57, archived)
Get outta here

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:27, archived)
u ok hun?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:32, archived)
i mean, he has a serious tree disease, you said so yourself

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:36, archived)
what a sap

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:37, archived)
Serious as cankers

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 18:02, archived)
a bit sallow tbh

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:21, archived)
is sallow another name for willow which is a tree ms?
-why yes it is my young wildlife wibbler, often more bushy, but like Goat Sallow which is a tree and food for the amazing Purple Emperor butterfly!
wow how super amazing and clever and funny you are. you're the best.
-cheers. i'm mc not ms btw. who the fuck is writing this shit
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 20:31, archived)
lol bush

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 21:51, archived)
I am treely sorry for your lots

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 17:58, archived)
fanx m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:21, archived)
The twins got pissed last night
So I've confiscated the rest of their vodka. As they drank 2 crates of bud and a bottle of amaretto, there's quite a lot of vodka left. I think that counts as having a good day.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 18:00, archived)

devito is a notorious bingeface
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 19:34, archived)
It's Broadsword's B3taday.
Mandatory Niceness now in effect.

Have a lovely day.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 12:14, archived)
HAPPY B3TADAY BROADSWORD!!!
I hope you have a smashing day
and try not to think how the years
have slipped, so fast, away
or how the greatest efforts
all end in the same still place
what's wrong why are you crying
put that smile back on your face
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 13:59, archived)
Happy Birthday Broadsword
I hope your day is tops
Filled with lots of widdles
And many many plops
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 14:11, archived)
now this 'niceness' thing, how does that work?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 14:22, archived)
similar to magnets but even more mysterious

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 14:31, archived)
*confused clown noises*

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Apr 2025, 15:19, archived)
:)

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 15:43, archived)
ALL the other tables

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:08, archived)
Tap, tap, tap

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:12, archived)
-t +f

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 16:33, archived)
Alright dickheads

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 8:01, archived)
Sympathy reply

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 8:34, archived)
Yep, we’re all right dickheads.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 8:47, archived)
alt-right dickheads

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 8:49, archived)
/links is that way --->

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 10:58, archived)
*autistically salutes*

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Apr 2025, 11:37, archived)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 13 Apr 2025, 8:55, archived)
Alright knob goblin

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 9:02, archived)
bit personal m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 9:07, archived)
says you

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 10:07, archived)
Going home today
What a lovely week I've had
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 10:14, archived)
do you think the nurses will miss you?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 10:27, archived)
Morning!
I'm off to look at the Devil's Hole today.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 7:04, archived)
doesn't surprise me

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 7:12, archived)
Have fun

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 8:18, archived)
looking forward to it ;)

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 10:06, archived)
Maxed Romeo

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 21:07, archived)
Max Tombeo

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 21:07, archived)
Chase the Deadvil

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 22:16, archived)
I have no idea to whom you are referring

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 23:01, archived)
samesies

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 23:41, archived)
He was amazing
youtu.be/PFlRc2AvQHI?si=bBfzF307aSAGOcWe
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 8:23, archived)
samesies

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 21:18, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Romeo
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 0:14, archived)
I wonder if there are any other rhyming element/clothing/deity/planet combinations...
I'm gonna put on a neon Burberry and chase Wotan outta Mercury, for example.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 23:43, archived)
That episode wasn't too bad.
Dunno what Angie Watt's deal is, possibly some kind of elemental/eternal breaking the 4th wall like that.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 19:47, archived)
It was her turn to wear the hair so Brian had to wear a hat while it was being filmed.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 19:59, archived)
chatGPT made this

             .,,uod8B8bou,,.
         ..,d88UB888888888b,.
       o8888888888888888888888o
     .d888888888888888888888888b.
    d8888888888888888888888888888b
   d888888888888888888888888888888
  d8888888888888888888888888888888b
  888888888888888888888888888888888
  888888888888888888888888888888888
  888888888888888888888888888888888
  Y888888888888888888888888888888P
   Y8888888888888888888888888888P
    "Y888888888888888888888888P"
      "Y88888888888888888888P"
         "YY8888888888888PP"
             ""YY8888PP""

       ~~~ BRIAN MAY'S HAIR ~~~


(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 20:08, archived)
and this

            .,,uod8B8bou,,.
        ..,d88UB888888888b,.
      o8888888888888888888888o
    .d888888888888888888888888b.
   d8888888888888888888888888888b
  d888888888888888888888888888888
  8888888888' "Y8888888Y" '888888
  88888888P     d88888b     Y8888
  8888888P     d8888888b     Y888
  Y88888"     d888888888b     "88P
   Y8888      88888888888      88P
    "Y88b     88888888888     d8P"
      "Y88b.  Y88888888P   .d8P"
         "Y88booooooooood88P"
             ""YY8888PP""

  ANITA DOBSON WEARING BRIAN MAY'S HAIR


(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 20:10, archived)
Do you pay to train it or do they pay you, or do you volunteer?
I'm trying to opt out of all the AI add-ons turning up everywhere.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 20:22, archived)
I'm training it to make bad ascii art and it's a labor of love, I like to think everyone will eventually benefit in a round about way
🥷🏻
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 20:31, archived)
Ashamed of His dwindling glory, Helios retreats into the West
- and my solar panels stop working. Wanker.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 18:23, archived)
You massive, massive twat.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Apr 2025, 19:10, archived)
You enormous floppy bumhole

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 19:57, archived)
alright Ian

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 19:11, archived)
Going to rain soon

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 19:12, archived)
FANNY CHEES'E

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 19:21, archived)
Fucking cowboy

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 19:55, archived)
Hi turd's

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 12:28, archived)
I got quite drunk last night.
Had to do five - FIVE! - poos this morning. :(
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 12 Apr 2025, 12:31, archived)
Five separate visits to the latrine
or an hour long saga?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 12 Apr 2025, 13:52, archived)
At what point does it become a separate shit?
Wipe, flush, wash? I reckon once you’ve flushed that counts as a shite.
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:31, archived)
Fuck Off
Each pinch is a separate shit... or have I been doing it wrong?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:35, archived)
So three plops while you’re perched on the throne counts as 3 shits to you?
Madness.
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:37, archived)
Well, now I'm not sure... perhaps the plural of shit is shit
Like sheep
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:40, archived)
It’s good to discuss these vital issues
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off for a meaty dump
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:41, archived)
I miss white dog shite
brb claxxon
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:43, archived)
ONE... PLOP.... BEYOND!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 12 Apr 2025, 15:54, archived)
Separate.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 12 Apr 2025, 15:53, archived)
I came out looking like a prune
38 degree pool. I was being boiled alive.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 12:47, archived) 


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⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣬⣻⢿⣿⣿⡦
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠛⠁
⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀
⠀⢀⡠⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀
⠰⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠇⠀⠠⠿⠿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 13:30, archived) 


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡟⠿⠿⣷⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⢠⣾⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⣠⡿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣷⠀
⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⠿⠋⠀⣀⣤⡶⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡇
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⢿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⡶⠾⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⡿⠁
⠈⢿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⡶⠶⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣾⡿⠋⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠙⣻⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⡿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 13:34, archived)
Morning!
I'm off for a newfangled electric bicycle ride through the countryside today :D

What newfangled thing are you doing with your weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 6:10, archived)
Has anyone said b3ta yet?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Apr 2025, 7:00, archived)
b3ta yet

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:27, archived)
i hope it has a bell because if you ride past my mum at 20mph from behind
she'll jump out of her skin land right on her broomstick and turn you into a fucking newt
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 7:52, archived)
Ding dong!
It'll only do 20 mph if I pedal really hard. Going downhill, I hit 31 mph, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:31, archived)
i've never seen my mum so angry than when some podgy prick comes past without dinging their bell
on some new two wheeled electric fat maintainer
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:06, archived)
she'll fite ya

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:08, archived)
Does she walk in the road?
- Cause I cycle on the road not the pavement, because on a bike, I'm operating a vehicle.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:14, archived)
lots of people ride lekky bikes on the 'walking' routes around dartmoor, yes they're allowed, no argument, but lots of tracks are quite narrow
you get weekend warriors flying along and no bells are dinged so now my mum has started doing her walks on the nearside lane of the m5 to avoid them because nobody uses the nearside lane these days
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:26, archived)
I’m on a Greek island eating my own body weight in cheese and drinking cheap lager.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:01, archived)
wahey!
have one for me!
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:22, archived)

actually nm i've got one here
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:23, archived)

ah cheeses
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:23, archived)
I’ll bring you back some cheese to accompany your lager.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:24, archived)
thanks babe
your a real thingie, wassit, small hot thing, poker, no... star. urinal star
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:28, archived)
Prick.
The word you’re looking for is “prick”.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 16:02, archived)
I initially read that as "cheap drinking lager", as opposed to cooking lager I suppose

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:36, archived)
i cooked with lager obnly last week

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:40, archived)
Oh so that's what the supermarket brand 2% stuff must be.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:57, archived)
really can't tell you quite how much I love this for you

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:30, archived)
Aww, it’s fucking great here, and somehow you just made it even better.
Thanks V.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 14:51, archived)
:))) ωραία! γεια μας!

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 15:50, archived)
I had to use Google translate to interpret this
as my vocab currently extends no further than “hello” and “thank you”, and even then only spoken. The written stuff is all incomprehensible - it’s all Greek to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 16:01, archived)
:)
first one is "oraia" = "nice!" generally a positive exclamation. Second "yamas" is a kind of "cheers!" it's a shortened "your good health" I believe
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 21:58, archived)
Taking my niece to the police station
She wants to press charges against her ex friends for opening her mail. The police will most likely tell her to fuck off and stop wasting their time, but I can't get her to see reason, so I'm just going along with it
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:27, archived)
no wonder council tax is going up

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:29, archived)
Thermal baths today
Getting my rejuve on
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:32, archived)
don't stay in too long you might come out looking like a prune

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:37, archived)
Working in Chelsea today
It's looking lovely in the sunshine
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:50, archived)
i'll have 5lb of la bonnotte spuds please

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:06, archived)
I had a burger that you cook in the microwave! Can you imagine such a thing?
It was shit
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 9:35, archived)
we' ve all been there mate
well, maybe not queef, or that boiled in a bag beef nobber
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:10, archived)
And by beef, you mean camel.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 12 Apr 2025, 12:21, archived)
anal

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 10:53, archived)
meh,

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Apr 2025, 11:37, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 12 Apr 2025, 6:09, archived)
Smeggulus Wabblus
Early bird and all that
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 6:36, archived)
don't put up with it smegg morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:24, archived)
hello all
1kg of fresh rump steaks £15 y/n?
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:38, archived)
Dunno

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:41, archived)
ok
i'll put you down as a maybe
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:51, archived)
how soon does it need using by

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:41, archived)
do you have a freezer
and a sharp knife
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:42, archived)
i have sharp knife yes
and freezer
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:52, archived)
:) then you're my kind of person

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 0:55, archived)
woo

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 3:04, archived)
n
Don't like rump
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:45, archived)
best flavour imo m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:51, archived)
Rump is yum, you just have to cook it properly.
I'm such a food ponce I sous-vide everything before frying it. Normally buy rump steak these days, it's good value.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:52, archived)
my god
you're some kind of meat twat
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:05, archived)
also
where do you get the bags?
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:05, archived)
A colostomy doesn't have to be a completely negative thing

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:56, archived)
Terrible bullying of Gonz. :(
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Apr 2025, 21:01, archived)
Meatiest twat this side of YOUR MUM.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:09, archived)
no need to get personal mate

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:12, archived)
Meat Again Grams Again

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:50, archived)
liberation day steaks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:52, archived)
Deffo.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:52, archived)
I'd go for it.
Unless it's in Royston Vasey.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 19:58, archived)
bought them this morning m8
cooked a steak on the gas camping hotplate thing for brekky. having one for dinner an all.
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:07, archived)
got 4.5kg of gammon joint for 20 quid an all

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:11, archived)
That's Brexit sorted.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:22, archived)
What’s the vegan option?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:45, archived)
not 50p ham again ffs

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:52, archived)
vegham

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:56, archived)
I can tell you the way

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:57, archived)
define fresh, is there still most of a cow attached?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:50, archived)
can't see one

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 21:14, archived)
not what i asked

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 23:10, archived)
meh

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 8:38, archived)
I like big rumps and I cannot lie

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 23:27, archived)
Just two this week
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2kvvwln504o
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 13:27, archived)
1/7 over-lubed hoop

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 13:43, archived)

www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/10342/1715111630/IMG4419.jpeg
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 13:49, archived)
4/7 gnome with a hardon

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:26, archived)
3/7 same as last week, maybe I should just say 3/7 and not actually bother with the quiz

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 13:46, archived)
The questions were dogshit this week.
I have been paying less attention to miracle babies, unelected heads of state meeting in foreign hospitals, the fucking Olivier awards FFS, pilot snacks, White House press protocol, fucking CURLING,and local bird news, and more on the financial crisis, the genocide in Gaza and the illegal invasion of Ukraine, but I guess I must be weird like that.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:48, archived)
On the contrary, I think it's an improvement.
No questions about football, Z-list celebs or minor and irrelevant royals.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 16:16, archived)
I wish all royals were irrelevant
but this royal news was just ancient, unaccountably rich, unelected heads of state saying hello to each other.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 16:46, archived)
What's the deal with weekly news quizzes?
They're just a way to prove you skimmed the headlines before scrolling to the memes.
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:07, archived)
bazinga

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:46, archived)
3/7 Ranatra quadridentata

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:15, archived)
+ Want your bad romance

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:21, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 17:43, archived)
Well that's easy for you to say.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:21, archived)
Alright Jonathan Ross

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:37, archived)
I wesent that wemark!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Apr 2025, 16:39, archived)
I heard that Isaac Arthur recently had palate surgery to fix his speech impediments
but I listened to a wecent episode and, whall he's not tawking waws than evaw, he seems to have detewiowated in wecent months. It doesn't help that he mispwonounces loads of words that don't contain oaws and awes.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 16:54, archived)
5/7

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:39, archived)
1/7 monkey spunk

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:43, archived)
7/1
Spunky Monk.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:48, archived)
got the first 2 wrong then hit a streak and ended with 5
sorry i mean, 5/7 murdered dwarves
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 15:47, archived)
4/7, gas the Jews

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 17:00, archived)
you can't be hitler

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 20:54, archived)
Praise Helios, Lord of the Sun Chariot! His firey journey begineth anon!
- alt: What have you pissed on recently that you should not have?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 6:34, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8443401
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 6:46, archived)
morning
my own foot
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 6:48, archived)
^12 inches

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 11 Apr 2025, 6:51, archived)
FOOTPISS

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 7:30, archived)
ian botham's footpenis

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 8:39, archived)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 13:01, archived)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 7:42, archived)
Which line-up?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 8:10, archived)
Trevor Horne on vocals

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 9:45, archived)
Good call.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 10:01, archived)
oh fuck no fucking buggles

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:44, archived)
Everyone’s chips

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 8:17, archived)
Morning
I've only pissed in the toilet, like a normal person.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 8:46, archived)
Someone's left shoe in a service station urinal
soz mate
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 8:46, archived)
lol that's alright, it was all in good fun lol

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 9:47, archived)
Your revenue stream.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 8:47, archived)
Great news guys!
I'm not constipated any more!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 8:58, archived)
Congratulations on your massive shit!
-on
-r
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 9:45, archived)
Cgatulations, mm

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 9:54, archived)
RIP monster munch xx

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 10:28, archived)
Morning Friday fuck yeah whallop

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 9:37, archived)
Actually, to answer your question
I do sometimes do a wee in the compost for nitrogen goodness.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 9:47, archived)

for while off my face on
gen goodness us oxide
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 9:58, archived)
Natch

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 10:03, archived)
S+

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 12:15, archived)
Could have pissed on the campervan fire next door, but it wouldn't have made much difference.
CCTV showed that it was deliberately set alight by one or two men with two jerry cans of petrol. One of them managed to get some on his puffa jacket and set his arm on fire, so that's something.

The local paper posted a video on Facebook, and despite my better judgement I had a look at the comments. They're about 70% jokes about Nicola Sturgeon (understandable, if crushingly predictable), 25% people ranting about how it must have been an electric vehicle (it wasn't), 2% someone moaning about how he stopped to have a look and the owner was rude to him (well yeah, fuck off rubbernecker) and 3% people actually commiserating and hoping everyone's OK.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 11:25, archived)
On the FB group in my old village in the shire
It seems as though a released sex offender has been housed there and his identity & address are now known by all.

Looking forward to the inevitable news report of a violent assault!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 11:34, archived)
That was me m8

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 11:53, archived)
Phew! That's good, because at least you'll know about this Top Tip.
b3ta.com/questions/toptips/post2638013
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 12:00, archived)
Alright, Richard

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 12:04, archived)
No real nonces pls

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 12:14, archived)
Hobbiton is much edgier than it used to be.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Apr 2025, 12:40, archived)
"No, thank you! We don't want any more nonces, kiddy-fiddlers, or small-bean regarders!"
"And what about very old friends?"
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 14:11, archived)
We had one of those furores recently
The guy who was doxxing the supposed paedo was a total knob-end though, so he was mainly ignored on principle.
Wonder if anyone got molested due to our collective negligence?
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 13:22, archived)
I did.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 13:26, archived)
What do you serve at the wake of someone who died from alcoholism-related organ failure?
Just checking in case I need to know.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:20, archived)
Tea
Yorkshire tea or tetley
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:22, archived)
Hot Vimto

(Planearm, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:32, archived)
hot egg

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:43, archived)
Cask Strength Whisky
Then you toast everyone with self control and have a right laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:46, archived)

hisk ill
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Apr 2025, 20:21, archived)

t spitr
+Will
control
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Apr 2025, 20:22, archived)
Whisky eggy tea vomit
- got it.
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:53, archived)
probably an eviction order

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:54, archived)
cunt

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:09, archived)
sherry. and tea loaf

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:15, archived)
Liver vol-au-vents

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:23, archived)
👍🏻

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:58, archived)
A nice Chianti

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:28, archived)
Breaded liver

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:32, archived)
A big pair of fucken tits lol

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:38, archived)
made of liver tho yeah

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:58, archived)
Well yeah, what else?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 20:04, archived)
smeg nog

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:59, archived)
Disgusting.
It's not even Christmas!
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Apr 2025, 20:13, archived)
THE PUBLIC TRUST

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 20:09, archived)
Alright, Murphy.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Apr 2025, 20:19, archived)
MURPHY IS DEAD
Except in the sequel that hero journey is reversed. Or have I got that the wrong way round? I can't remember the 3rd one at all.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 20:45, archived)
LOL
organ
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 10 Apr 2025, 21:02, archived)
A big amarone.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 21:04, archived)
A cake with George Best’s face on it

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 21:12, archived)
Was he the best tho lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 21:17, archived)
Customers
or mourners, or funeral clients if you prefer
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 21:35, archived)
I hope it's chips, it's chips

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 21:46, archived)
Whatever you fucking want. Are you new to being an adult human?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 0:01, archived)
IT'S BEER OF THE FUCKING CLOCK O'COCK COCK COCK BEER COCK BEER BEER BEER
Also, cock
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:49, archived)
I thought you'd given up

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 15:39, archived)
giving up?
yes i have
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 17:57, archived)
I want a martini

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 15:59, archived)
A proper gin one, olive garnish, and stirred, not fucking shaken

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 16:04, archived)
Churchill was hardcore with his marinis
www.diffordsguide.com/cocktails/recipe/2340/churchill-martini
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 16:14, archived)
OH YES

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 16:33, archived)
Gayman's Gin, more like!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 16:47, archived)
i have ordered a chinese
not from china tho #tariffs
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:01, archived)
it is not

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 16:34, archived)
LIES!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 17:57, archived)
MISERYCUNT'S ANUS

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 16:46, archived)
phew

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 17:57, archived)
Wait What
Is it Friday?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 10 Apr 2025, 17:01, archived)
yep!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 17:57, archived)
It's always Friday somewhere in the world!

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:18, archived)
It's hide in the meeting room and eat I.T's fancy chocolates o'clock

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:23, archived)
<s>I.T's fancy chocolates o' </s> <s> l </s>

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 18:25, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:16, archived)
cock!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:30, archived)
hooray \o/

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:51, archived)
Hi cocksniffer's, Queef Smegwin here
I'm at work. It's a bit anus.

What else is a bit anus, you can't say your anus
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:54, archived)
David 'Time Bandits' Rappaport's anus

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:57, archived)
Michelle McM'

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:59, archived)
This thread

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:09, archived)
anus horribilis

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:19, archived)
Thought you jacked it in because you didn't like being management?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:29, archived)
I didn't realise Queef was Hale and/or Pace

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:37, archived)
He's a Gareth Hale lookalike irl

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:51, archived)
I thought he looked like Mark Gatiss as Les McQueen

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:21, archived)

Les McQueen Mickey
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:33, archived)
I got convinced into coming back

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:43, archived)
Can I say someone else's anus?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:42, archived)
ventriloquism?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:51, archived)
The man who taught his asshole to talk?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:52, archived)
What, like MONO!'s bumhole, for example?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:27, archived)
Yes sure

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:44, archived)
The seventh planet from the sun

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:55, archived)
Hot dogs

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:18, archived)
Crimson frogs

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:30, archived)
Sausages

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:21, archived)
My rectum

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:41, archived)

And I'm thinkin' about my rectum
When you gonna ring it, and when you gonna ring it
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my rectum
When you gonna ring it, when you gonna ring it
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my rectum
When you gonna ring it, when you gonna ring it
Yeah, I been thinkin' about my rectum
Oh, well
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:57, archived)
i hope for the sake of your pants
that your rectum already has a ring
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 19:19, archived)
or
-ng +m
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Fri 11 Apr 2025, 9:58, archived)
The less popular B side to My Sharona

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 15:04, archived)
That was ‘The Crack’ with ‘my anus’

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 17:14, archived)
So. My partner is staying with his family in Brazil. The area has gone downhill and there are gangs and police all over the place.
over the past couple of days he's had to negotiate between the police (his friend who was very high up has been done for corruption so that's his local senior contact gone), some tenants his mum has in a commercial property, gang members, a crackhead mum with a sick 2 year old girl, street dealers and the little kids doing the actual drug-running.

This is an actual message he sent me:
"Btw I have a job offer here. PCC told my sister they like the way I am talking to the scum over here these days. If I ever come back they want me to be their ‘discipline’. Lol"
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primeiro_Comando_da_Capital

Have you ever had an offer you've found hard to refuse?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 10:37, archived)
flipping heck!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 11:16, archived)

what an absolutely terrifying life
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 11:34, archived)
Yeah. Brazil is an exciting place.
unfortunately, when you get to know some of the people caught up in the most "exciting" lives it's absolutely tragic. Yesterday my in-laws were dealing with a crackhead woman who has a very sick 2 year old girl, but won't give up the kid to social services because she's relying on the child benefit to feed her habit. My sister in law has a barbers salon and you get all sorts in there. Many of the local police get their haircuts there. So it's ... interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 11:40, archived)
bloody hell :(((

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 11:46, archived)
My husband is coming back on Saturday
I will be very pleased to have him safely home.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 11:55, archived)

:( gawd I bet
wishing the time gone away for you right now
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:06, archived)
This is all very City of God.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:15, archived)
Good fillum, that.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:41, archived)
I like the bit where Esteban flies around in The Golden Condor

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:51, archived)
Stupid boy.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:00, archived)
No u

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 13:07, archived)
Yeah that time your nan offered me a go on her guffpipe

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:37, archived)
I was offered a small hard butterscotch sweet from my grandfather
I refused and spread a vicious rumor that he had abused me, which led to his imprisonment, where he later died.
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:51, archived)
I was offered a job in a shop in Spain
There was an empty flat above the shop that I could have had, and it was a full time job. Had to say no because I was waiting for rather a lot of surgery.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 14:21, archived)
So.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 15:36, archived)

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