So I'm still able to login here
I realise no fucker will remember me, but is it still the shitshow it used to be?
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 1:49, archived)

yes, it is, you old fuck

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 1:52, archived)

YES!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 1:53, archived)

i remember your username, that's about it though

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 1:54, archived)

I used to work with in vino veritas
In fact, I was the one responsible for telling her about this place over a work lunch which included chips! BRAW!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 2:00, archived)

22907 is a fairly memorable number to be fair

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 2:01, archived)

When I joined here I had youth, verve and vigour on my side
Despite my abhorrent bash behaviour I have been married for almost 24 years to the same woman, and only have mild prostate issues, a slightly more receding hairline and what is left is going grey.

To all users IDs over 50,000 - get the fuck out there and do something.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 1:59, archived)

Ola! I'm new/old too. I'm a bit like the poo stuck to your shoe, and they tell me that.

( Cock, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 4:10, archived)

alright milk no sugar

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 5:41, archived)

I hope you enjoyed your 12 minutes on b3ta, see you again in about 5 years

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 10:16, archived)

I remember you
but as I am using a different account now, that's essentially irrelevant
your brother used to post on here too iirc
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 6:05, archived)

how could you know that if you're not the same account tho? it just makes no sense.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 13:01, archived)

I remember you but not the nature of our interactions
so hello/fuck you

please delete as appropriate
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 10:23, archived)

evening

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 18:28, archived)

I feel like shit
Do you have any?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 20:19, archived)

Yeah, loads.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 20:21, archived)

two bags for me please

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 20:35, archived)

and i'll have a dollop of shit as well lol

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 21:05, archived)

big fat cocks

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 20:26, archived)

Poo poo willy willy bum drawers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 20:47, archived)

bit rude

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 20:53, archived)

Enough about my willy, more about my bum.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 17 Jun 2025, 21:00, archived)

It looks like someone tried to make mash without taking the potatoes out of the bag first.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 21:07, archived)

you'd still eat it tho, right

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 1:53, archived)

evening.
At a bit of a loose end. You?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 20:34, archived)

loose bell
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 20:43, archived)

PS hullo Willy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 20:44, archived)

Yeah I suppose

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 21:28, archived)

Euthanasia is a lovely name for a girl

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 22:37, archived)

Or a boy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 23:17, archived)

Right. Although the E names, I really prefer Eurozone for a boy, trad innit
Euston, that's another nice one.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 23:37, archived)

fear and lolling in las vegas

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 23:58, archived)

Croutons

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 13:04, archived)

lol ur so random

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 13:41, archived)

SOUPer

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 13:43, archived)

Dumplings
little dumps
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 14:09, archived)

Krautons, SSoup

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 14:10, archived)

Nazpacho

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 14:12, archived)

saving us from the Brothschilds

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 14:14, archived)

Heinzrich Himmler

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 14:20, archived)

The Boscht

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 14:24, archived)

Mein Campbells

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 14:28, archived)

^this was the best one

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 18:10, archived)

Gestapotato and leek

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 18:20, archived)

underrated

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 1:46, archived)

Have you tried this one?
Reviews suggest it's a bit salty
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 18:23, archived)

Pootons

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 14:10, archived)

Mignons Morceaux

( .Yeti., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 15:42, archived)

flan

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 15:42, archived)

+ge

( Cock, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 18:06, archived)

Crouching wontons, maybe yours will catch on

( broadsword, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 18:25, archived)

Crunchy friends in a liquid broth

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 7:49, archived)

Late morning guffaw
Christ, it's warm
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:17, archived)

Hi two hats

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:26, archived)

Hullo Smegg Wallace

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 12:28, archived)

Just been for a walk, it’s a proper scorcher

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:31, archived)

*gets ready for a "hilarious" strikey-g*

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:32, archived)

Pretty sunny here too lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:34, archived)

ROFL:ROFL:ROFL:ROFL
         _^___
 L    __/   [] \
LOL===__        \
 L      \________]
         I   I
        --------/

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:40, archived)

It's no laughing matter, go fuck yourself.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:43, archived)

too late, I’ve lolled myself into a coma

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 12:19, archived)

I had to walk into town and back
Murder
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 12:29, archived)

I had to assemble a group of crows
Murder
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 12:52, archived)

I watched an interview with David Duchovny about his role as an FBI agent who investigates the paranormal
Mulder
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 12:58, archived)

I did not simply walk into
Mordor
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 13:38, archived)

morning LOL

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 6:45, archived)

LLOL o'r cymoedd

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 7:01, archived)

LMAO

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 7:29, archived)

lolning

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 7:05, archived)

PMSL

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 7:29, archived)

alright Roffle

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 7:17, archived)

ROFLMAO

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 7:29, archived)

Morning LSHIDASIMP
laughing so hard I did a shit in my pants
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 8:35, archived)

This is vintage forum banter, it really is.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 8:46, archived)

Doesn't vintage forum banter just post things like RAPSCALLIONS and DUNDERHEADS?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 8:51, archived)

Dunno, I have it on ignore

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 8:56, archived)

Hi Smegg it's time for your quarterly performance review.
I trust you've done all the prep work.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 9:21, archived)

I hate those things.
Where I work now it's a nailed-on minimum annual payrise of 5% and a 10% annual bonus.

Fuck 'performance reviews'.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 9:23, archived)

-nu

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 9:26, archived)

Limp Pizkit

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 9:28, archived)

this one went over my head I’m afraid

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:33, archived)

It's really not worth explaining, but
I assumed the -nu was from "bonus" and that you'd ninja edit a +er afterwards to make "boner". I've only just worked out that wouldn't work anyway. The "nu" made me think of "nu-metal", and by eliminating the "nu" it made me think of the opposite of a boner; i.e., a "limp piss kit [male genitals]".

I don't just fart these posts out, there's real thought that goes into them, even when they fail as totally as that one.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:42, archived)

Limpin Park

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:52, archived)

I appreciate the effort regardless

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 12:15, archived)

bos?
mm etc
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 9:45, archived)

-nu
u er
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 10:43, archived)

anneral bos

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:15, archived)

Correct

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 11:21, archived)

How Dead is Your House

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 17 Jun 2025, 9:22, archived)

Kim Wouldbury

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 9:24, archived)

I hate it when I have to look up who a dead "celebrity" is, and find out more about their existence than I cared to know when they were alive.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 9:27, archived)

Kim Willburn

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 10:38, archived)

Hi knob-goblin's, how r u
I'm fucking shattered and not terribly well. NOT THAT YOU ASKED
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 15:14, archived)

What's wrong?
Queefed yourself inside out?
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 15:17, archived)

Yep

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:22, archived)

LOL

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 16 Jun 2025, 15:25, archived)

ROFL

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:25, archived)

You alright love?
Poorly tum tum?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 15:26, archived)

Sounds like a pooey bottom.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 16 Jun 2025, 15:37, archived)

-pooey +smeggy

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:14, archived)

oh man, I loved Noel's House Party!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:26, archived)

^fantasized about getting gunged by Mr Blobby

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 18:02, archived)

Only once I stopped fantasising about being killed live on TV in a stunt gone wrong

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 20:03, archived)

Mr Blobby is British Shrek

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 23:34, archived)

Mr Blobby can only say his own name; ergo, he is the British Pikachu.
I will not be taking questions at this time.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 17 Jun 2025, 0:25, archived)

Sore throat, cough, runny nose, lethargy
Defo AIDS
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:23, archived)

Everybody talk about, pop methargy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:23, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zu0lqVhnt9U
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:28, archived)

You will be missed

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:41, archived)

At least I won't have died of ignorance
That's a comfort
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:53, archived)

That'll be a comfort to your loved ones
Me, I mean
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:55, archived)

The Ward–Takahashi identity applies to correlation functions in momentum space, which do not necessarily have all their external momenta on-shell hon?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 15:52, archived)

Too personal?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:25, archived)

much

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:54, archived)

I'm full of pork and have to go to work

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 15:54, archived)

I'm full of gnome and have to stay at home.

( .Yeti., Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:17, archived)

I'm full of Bean and have to stay at Sean

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:24, archived)

I'm full of gin and I'm wanking in a bin

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:26, archived)

I'm full of testicles so bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:29, archived)

I'm full of Bonjela and being buggered with an umbrella

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:33, archived)

I'm full of haddock and I'm frotting Fanny Cradock
her face when
"I've just drawn these eyebrows on, and I'm actually quite surprised by them"
Fanny appeared on television in 1955. Fanny.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 17:31, archived)

Tranny Cradock more like

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 18:03, archived)

To avoid breaching patient confidentiality,
I may or may not once have had to shout this name in a crowded pharmacy.

My tutor at the time told me afterwards that it's pronounced "smiley", once he stopped laughing.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 19:59, archived)

Did someone pork you or did you pork yourself?

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 17:56, archived)

Belly pork
I ate too much 😫
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 17:59, archived)

Just do a sick then until you have eaten the right amount.

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 18:01, archived)

thoughts and prayers m8

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:14, archived)

AND the overground is suspended
It's well smeg
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:26, archived)

suspended wombling free
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 16:30, archived)

suspended above the underground you mean? isn't that normal?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 17:29, archived)

Sit down and tell me all about it and we'll have a look at what I can do to help.
Haha not really, fuck right off
(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 17:55, archived)

terrible
fabulous
( vladimir, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 21:01, archived)

it's the same picture

( vladimir, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 21:01, archived)

That's what she said!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 16 Jun 2025, 21:03, archived)

:)))

( vladimir, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 21:07, archived)

afternoon

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 12:56, archived)

lol blanked

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 13:41, archived)

Sympathy afternoon

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 13:50, archived)

LOL

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 16 Jun 2025, 14:14, archived)

tern lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 14:58, archived)

haha no way!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 15:14, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 16 Jun 2025, 6:18, archived)

the slow march towards death continues
morning, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 6:51, archived)

It’s already June, so that is a slow March indeed.
Morning.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 7:38, archived)

we have to march? fuck that i'll sit here and die

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 14:59, archived)

Morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 8:46, archived)

I wonder how Frank's doing these days

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 9:35, archived)

He's gone to a nice big farm.
Wandering fields and chasing rabbits.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 9:39, archived)

He posted a picture of some crazy musical setup yesterday (not on here)
with lots of wires and blinking lights and stuff. Fucked if I know what it does, I never got past playing the recorder at primary school.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 9:42, archived)

how's the parrot?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 10:02, archived)

Because Monday is shit and I don't want to do any work
I just scrolled back through all of his nonsense to find the last mention of the parrot. He posted an old photo of it earlier this year, but the last direct mention was 11 September last year when he reassured everyone that no-one has eaten his parrot.

I realise that doesn't actually speak to the wellbeing of the parrot, it could be dead, could be alive, but I'm not scrolling any further than that because then Facebook will think I'm his stalker or something and start emailing me pictures of his taint or whatever he's got hidden away.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 10:11, archived)

Who's this, Gilgamesh?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 11:02, archived)

Yes, that Frank.
Who isn't actually called Frank. I was devastated when I learned that.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 11:09, archived)

haha
Shenanigans
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 11:59, archived)

Ok, well at least he's alright

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 10:27, archived)

alright, OK at least he's well

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 10:29, archived)

alright, OK at least he's well
BOLLOCKS SQUAWK
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 10:41, archived)

BOLLOCKS SQUAWK
well, alright at least he's OK
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 10:44, archived)

Oh shit, did nobody remember to let him out of the sandbox?

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 11:03, archived)

Going to need more than that in the morning post to engage with in the future, thanks.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 11:01, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 15 Jun 2025, 7:27, archived)

today can eff off

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 9:06, archived)

I'm off to look at a rock

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 9:21, archived)

r c
+to finally learn what one looks like
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 15 Jun 2025, 9:50, archived)

just needs a mirror tbh

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 10:18, archived)

Any particular rock?
And are you just going to appreciate its looks, or are you assessing it for some reason, or appraising it? Why are you looking at a rock on a Sunday? It’s Father’s Day, not Rock’s Day.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 10:55, archived)

It is a nice rock
Fathers' Day and Sunday are irrelevant to me
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 11:24, archived)

You take that back about Sunday.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 11:28, archived)

- look at
+ smoke
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 15 Jun 2025, 11:24, archived)

your religion sounds intriguing

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 13:58, archived)

German nosebleed techno or gtfo

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 10:54, archived)

or gtfo

Turtle power!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 15 Jun 2025, 11:33, archived)

˶ˊᜊˋ˶

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 17:41, archived)

I went to a bar mitzvah party last night
It was actually charming and a lot of fun.

Couldn't move for yids in there though, (wailing) wall to wall, I swear down
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 11:50, archived)

Mazel tov!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 11:55, archived)

I gave the lad a massive kukri*
He was delighted

*not a euphemism
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 11:58, archived)

I love my kukri
I use it for meal prep
which I learned how to do from a kukri book
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 12:22, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8450041
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 13:59, archived)

NO

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 14:20, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8449976
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 14:58, archived)

That pun was frankly Nepalling.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 15 Jun 2025, 15:44, archived)

I will track this person down, and murder them
www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1lbxhjx/why_are_pirates_called_pirates/
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 11:55, archived)

do you know a pirate's favourite letter of the alphabet?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 12:23, archived)

Fuck off
I mean it, fucking fuck off
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 12:46, archived)

Haha, which Northern Irish county do pirates like best?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 12:58, archived)

pirates fave footy team?
that used to have their favorite manager?
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 14:06, archived)

What lemonade brand is their favourite?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 17:09, archived)

that they drink at aaaaarf time
oops
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 17:37, archived)

What's their favourite convenience shop?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 15 Jun 2025, 17:16, archived)

How about a pirate's favourite paedophile R&B singer?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 17:44, archived)

+B
-&
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 15 Jun 2025, 18:08, archived)

They found a fossilised pirate on Digging for Britain, what did he get stuck in?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 18:31, archived)

What's their favourite Norwegian pop band?

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 18:32, archived)

This only works if you pronounce like a fucking cunt

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 18:50, archived)

cunt pirate
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 18:58, archived)

-fucking +seafaring

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 19:22, archived)

is is RRRRRR????
:-D
( vladimir, Mon 16 Jun 2025, 21:00, archived)

fuck you all etc etc

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 23:47, archived)

alright

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 0:15, archived)

no. i am shaftwangled

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 2:53, archived)

Yeah, that’s fair.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 0:49, archived)

i am 5errifcally horribly drunk

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sun 15 Jun 2025, 2:52, archived)

Maybe i should try this again: HELLO! fellow b3tans. Would it be possible to be accepted in to this great (but small) exclusive gentlemans club once more like the good old days?
or are there too many strange handshakes, and too many dubious, thorough, rigorous and lengthy training tasks that will be required to prove my allegiance?
( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 16:58, archived)

We don't take kindly to your type round here
Or something
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 17:35, archived)

mods!

( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 19:39, archived)

What good old days? Are you an old b3tan with a new account?
Dunno who you are, soz.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 19:36, archived)

back in the day, talk was part of the main site, but since things got a bit fruity, i think Rob decided to just hide it and let it die a slow death.
Aside from the die-hards abusing each other each day, I see there's not much left.
I thought I could just gatecrash my way back in.

I used to have many heated discussions with mongy and others, it was great!

I was not aware it still existed until for shits and giggles, I typed in the URL, and BINGO!

Also: happy candles etc. etc.
( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 19:41, archived)

I believe he was trying to woo some new advertiser or something
And hid /talk so they wouldn't see it. I'm sure someone told me that.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 20:48, archived)

Did he try to yay them and houpla them as well?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 14 Jun 2025, 20:53, archived)

Disgusting
But yes
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 22:50, archived)

Typical ladybird fingering ginger wanker,, rob I mean. Not Mr tea

( mongychops, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 20:58, archived)

Thanks for clarifying that.
If there's one thing I'm not, it's ginger.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 14 Jun 2025, 21:22, archived)

Don't drag me into this

( mongychops, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 20:55, archived)

ahh the good old days....

( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 21:36, archived)

I for one accept anyone on /talk
Unless they’re a paedo, a South African mental, or someone who likes showing off their distended rectum. If you’re none of the above, welcome back to the fold.

You’re probably a bellend for being here though, like everyone else. Especially me.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 19:43, archived)

forever in my hartz.

( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 19:46, archived)

Liz Hurley is still absolutely gorgeous at 60

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Jun 2025, 20:01, archived)

I’m 75% of her age
and at least 7.5% as gorgeous as her.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 20:18, archived)

Bit of a non-sequitur, but you're not wrong.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 14 Jun 2025, 21:54, archived)

Well, I definitely don't pass the "gentlemen" thing

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 19:48, archived)

yah me neither. Genital man, I'm okay with.

( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 19:55, archived)

I fail that, too
Due to being a woman
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 20:01, archived)

My apologies. I thought this was a strict willy club only.

( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 20:43, archived)

Typical Cock.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 14 Jun 2025, 20:54, archived)

Fucksocks revives another account. It'll be different this time ...

( mongychops, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 21:00, archived)

I'm clean and sober now. New and improved.

( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 21:54, archived)

I'm not averse to the odd sausage club

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 22:05, archived)

I was just called a cack sacker. What fun things have you been called?

( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 15:01, archived)

Aardvark.
That’s fun.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 15:16, archived)

What?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 15:31, archived)

cack sacker
It was a gentleman from New York City
( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 16:47, archived)

Were you sacking his cack at the time? Otherwise that would seem a little presumptuous

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 17:24, archived)

No, he cut me up on the freeway, and shouted it to me with his window down.
Quite emotional actually.
( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 19:43, archived)

Please stop posting on b3ta.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Jun 2025, 15:38, archived)

I'll have you know I was posting crap on talk before you were a dirty thought in your fathers eye.

( Cock, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 16:43, archived)

Gestational Cac

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 18:08, archived)

Jo Brand

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 19:47, archived)

Good afternoon to all you lovely b3tans
Not you brb you fucking *****
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 14 Jun 2025, 12:34, archived)

Alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Jun 2025, 12:41, archived)

I might be addicted to prescription meds
So yeah, all good ta
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:01, archived)

I keep drinking brake fluid.
I'm not addicted, I can stop any time.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:09, archived)

Asphalt and battery

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:12, archived)

I’m clicking this, but I’m not happy about it

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:20, archived)

^

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:35, archived)

which ones?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 22:08, archived)

As a result of this relationship, Heather and Rebecca ask Peter if they can practice oral sex on him, so that he can tell them which of the two does it better; so they do. He says both were exactly the same.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 12:41, archived)

What are their usernames on here?
Asking for a friend.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 12:48, archived)

bald, monkey

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 12:58, archived)

Shove some amphetamine in the slit
QUICKLY
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:02, archived)

; so they do.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:37, archived)

Loose lips stink shits

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 14 Jun 2025, 12:55, archived)

hullo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 12:54, archived)

Sop

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:00, archived)

‘noon

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:20, archived)

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/jun/11/the-latest-andrex-advert-is-a-life-changing-masterpiece
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:40, archived)

"In scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something new to say about toilet paper, they’ve struck gold."
-they've +I've

the ridiculously shit ones i made with that generator were more credible than this, it's beyond parody
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:46, archived)

I know it's considered bad form to wish suicide on someone, but here we are.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 13:56, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Jun 2025, 6:22, archived)

morning

( broadsword, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 6:27, archived)

Yes

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 8:17, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 8:47, archived)

mmmooorrrnnniiiiiinnnggg

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 8:55, archived)

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING TEHRAN!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 9:23, archived)

I think they have Saturdays off

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 12:42, archived)

g'day ya mongrel's

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 10:05, archived)

Morning.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 10:44, archived)

Clammy
It's clammy today
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 11:07, archived)

bollocks?
i have monday off. might jack off a jackdaw.
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:19, archived)

Bollocks
I don't, might felch a four toed worm lizard
( broadsword, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:23, archived)

leave my mum out of this

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:37, archived)

She looks a bit
penis-y
( broadsword, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:45, archived)

fuck me
yep! that's her!
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 22:30, archived)

Years ago

( mongychops, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 22:45, archived)

in her modelling heyday

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 22:47, archived)

alright m

( broadsword, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 23:52, archived)

skibidi toilet plushies for sale in the local supermarket, there's a line where something is just so ridiculous it becomes interesting to me

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:56, archived)

haha, excellent.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 23:23, archived)

it's your b3taday, Trouser!
,Trouser
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 0:52, archived)

FUCK
I have spent 23 years carefully avoiding this wretched day, and NOW I slip up? FUCK.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 11:01, archived)

Haha, old.

( broadsword, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 5:35, archived)

elo broadsword, hope you are well.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 11:01, archived)

Christ, careful around all those candles.
At your age you need all the oxygen you can get.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 10:43, archived)

stick it up yer arse

( Cock, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:57, archived)

make me you smelly poo nabber

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 22:31, archived)

Long weekend IDGAF back at you

( Cock, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 23:14, archived)

I have a week off in 3 weeks
I need a break from the mental, she thinks I'm being sent away by work for some kind of workshop that precludes me from having my phone for a week. I'm looking forward to just hibernating for a week.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 22:53, archived)

So my 15 year old son has started a punk band...
Me:Oh cool, what are you called?

Son:Rape Kit(!)

Me:With an exclamation mark?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:13, archived)

I got an email from Nextdoor earlier
With the subject line "Broomrape on Portsdown Hill". Before I found out it's the name of a plant, I had never seen such a jaw dropping headline.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:18, archived)

"Broomrape seedlings put out a root-like growth, which attaches to the roots of nearby hosts. Once attached to a host, the broomrape robs its host of water and nutrients"
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:42, archived)

ob ape
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:54, archived)

oh fuck well worth the effort
to work out i mean, it doesn't look very difficult to type
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 0:58, archived)

Also, your son should rethink the band name

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:19, archived)

Yeah, they should drop the exclamation mark.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:28, archived)

Or go with something less contentious, like Jewish Hitler And The Spastic Fuckers.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:30, archived)

Oh fucking well done Mr Tea
It's gonna take a lot of convincing to change his mind from this now😡
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:34, archived)

*doffs hat*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:48, archived)

alright John Peel

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:43, archived)

or "the Israeli government" as they're also known
LITTLEBITOFSATIRETHERE
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 19:31, archived)

Just forget about Benjamin Netanyahu, you're never going to meet him.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Jun 2025, 20:15, archived)

Benjamin Notanyahu

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 20:50, archived)

Benjamin Notgonymeetu

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:58, archived)

Alright, Frankie Boyle.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Jun 2025, 20:30, archived)

SATIRETHERE HANNUKAHINMYLIFE
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 20:35, archived)

Oh man, it's been an age since I've played Street Fighter II.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Jun 2025, 20:48, archived)

double dragon was where it was at

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 22:32, archived)

+ headed Bad

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 14 Jun 2025, 9:04, archived)

that is a rubbish name for a band
it makes them sound like edgelord pricks
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:21, archived)

Edgelord Pricks!?
I'll suggest it
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:22, archived)

Heartburn and the Shits

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:23, archived)

I'm suffering heartburn, ooh ooh, and don't it feel shit!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:53, archived)

they'd get more people coming to their gig if they called themselves 'Cancelled'

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:34, archived)

Culture?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:37, archived)

I blame the parents

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:36, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8449885
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:45, archived)

Paedo and the Klaxons

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:37, archived)

Be right back
With a witty retort
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:38, archived)

gary glitter and the underage shitters

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:40, archived)

Turtle power!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Jun 2025, 19:45, archived)

i nearly forgot that i think i saw them at wembley arena

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:01, archived)

Wembley arena Infest
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:03, archived)

oh yeah. i forgot that.

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:21, archived)

rock hyraxes do cube-shaped shits, that can't be comfy can it
also entire colonies piss and shit in one specific designated burrow for many generations
then the whole mess dries out over a long period of time
then people find it and dig it all up, it's kind of like rock at this point, and they sell it
and then the people who buy it grind it to powder and tincture it for maybe a year
and then it's used in expensive artisan perfumery
and then wealthy people put it on their skin
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:12, archived)

something else does cube shaped shits as well
recently read about it wasn't a rock hyrax so at least two animals do this
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:22, archived)

Wombat.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:25, archived)

my mortal enemy

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:25, archived)

build a wall to protect yourself, and use....

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 0:54, archived)

LOL
Period
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:25, archived)

Having an offensive name is so conformist when it comes to punk.
They should call themselves The Polite Gentlemen.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:14, archived)

Yes! I like this idea
The Paper Doilies
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:27, archived)

After a lengthy discussion... the idiot child has agreed to
Charlie Chaplin did it first
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:26, archived)

Michael Knight might have something to say about that

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:33, archived)

You bitch
Reverse cider snort
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:35, archived)

tarted a ed on his h b
( broadsword, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 21:21, archived)

IT'S BEER OF THE CLOCK O'COCK COCK COCK COCK COCK!!!!!!!!!!!

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 15:02, archived)

No it isn't and I wish you'd stop saying that

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 15:04, archived)

it is for me so ner
but i will stop saying it just for you
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 15:52, archived)

then how will people know?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 16:20, archived)

spose they'll have to enquire by gaz or summat
or maybe you can vote on it and force me to announcing it to you contrary to utol's wishes.
i'm sorry i just have to respect people's wishes. new policy.
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:36, archived)

Incorrect

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 15:04, archived)

God I wish
Fucking sweltering out here
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 15:20, archived)

pissing down here
been floods and everything
( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 15:54, archived)

29 and muggy 'eh eff'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:10, archived)

Nope, it's afternoon doze time

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 15:36, archived)

+r

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 15:49, archived)

Hiya

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Jun 2025, 16:05, archived)

alright timer

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 16:21, archived)

Alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Jun 2025, 16:52, archived)

But...
I drink cider! Is this a problem?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 15:58, archived)

૮₍•᷄ ࡇ •᷅₎ა those poor apples

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 16:22, archived)

-apples
+doctors
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:16, archived)

Only if you drink enough to suffer severe cidereffects.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Jun 2025, 16:26, archived)

oh god

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:24, archived)

I'm trying to pretend it didn't happen

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:36, archived)

Kiss my PP, mofos.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Jun 2025, 18:49, archived)

It's not, it's time to go to work

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 16:28, archived)

Been drinking all day. Friday, fuck all to do

( mongychops, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 16:33, archived)

that'll be me monday

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 17:25, archived)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Jun 2025, 13:58, archived)

OH JESUS CHRIST WILL YOU EVER FUCKING SHUT UP

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 14:06, archived)

Get bent, dickbreath

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Jun 2025, 14:12, archived)

Garold can you please make a nice quiz today?
I don't want to score 2/7 or whatever and have to use the word "fuck" more than once.

Alt, if you're not Garold: Actually I don't care, do what you like with this thread.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:00, archived)

top kek

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:04, archived)

4/7 Couldn't give a solitary shit

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:18, archived)

shit fuck
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:36, archived)

fuck hoot
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:44, archived)

Steady on, old chap.
No need for that sort of language.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:49, archived)

#owlkin

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 13:00, archived)

Alligator +

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 14:13, archived)

3/7 for me
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c62vydednqeo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:37, archived)

6/7 HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT WORKED I LOVE YOU GAROLD

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:40, archived)

2/7 testicular cyst

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 12:03, archived)

I am glad you have returned to your senses and assumed your responsibilities sir

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 12:03, archived)

I feel a huge wave of empathy with Elon Musk right now

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 12:24, archived)

2/7 what the fuck do you call this

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 12:06, archived)

5/7 liquid ass

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:48, archived)

do what you like with this thread

MMMMNEURRGH I AM A SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY SPAZZES
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Jun 2025, 12:26, archived)

I really should stop blogging my experiences of hookups on Spazzr.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 12:55, archived)

4/7 mostly guessing

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 12:51, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 0:42, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Jun 2025, 6:23, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 7:16, archived)

alrite

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 6:55, archived)

y

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 7:16, archived)

morning cheers friday yeah

( broadsword, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 7:40, archived)

fuck yeah

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 8:00, archived)

SLICED Salami

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 7:44, archived)

Sir DEATH Palmer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 7:48, archived)

George Went

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 8:02, archived)

GONE!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 8:07, archived)

no idea

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:19, archived)

Can't say I'd heard of him until I saw the headline
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoff_Palmer_(scientist)
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:25, archived)

I liked him in 'Reginald Perrin'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:42, archived)

Big up

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 8:25, archived)

yo

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:49, archived)

Billy GONEolly

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 8:44, archived)

I mean he's not dead yet, but it can't be long now.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 8:44, archived)

Russell Bra(i)nd(ead).
(This is what psychologists call 'magical thinking.')
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:39, archived)

Shot to the soul the flame of oroladian
Essence of the word
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 8:47, archived)

Sorry I don't know what this means, I don't read Harry Potter

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 8:53, archived)

Sorry I don't know what this means, I can't understand Terry Christian

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:00, archived)

no u

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:43, archived)

Sorry I don't know what this means, I can't understand Microsoft’s popular document creation software

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:49, archived)

Sorry I don't know what this means, I don't go to Tibet treat the life as a game, if you please, hey

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 16:19, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 8:55, archived)

still morning

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:49, archived)

weeping japper

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:42, archived)

while my japper gently weeps

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:50, archived)

Wappers crappers, where'd you get those jappers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 10:42, archived)

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:43, archived)

too soon

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:50, archived)

^Whigflid

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 9:57, archived)

*boing*

( broadsword, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 10:02, archived)

Not according to my charts it isn't.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 10:32, archived)

^Paul Gambaccini

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 10:33, archived)

FAKE NEWS

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 10:45, archived)

REAL TALK

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 11:02, archived)