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# my life
my wife is not faithful to me, she doesn't know that I know about it. waht should I do?
(daverovan, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:46, archived)
# Blimey!!!! That's an opening gambit!
You should ask this on talk...they'll give "advice."
we like pictures on this part of the board....
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:47, archived)
# Dirty Feckin Cow



1 nil to me bitch!
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:04, archived)
# What?
Is this pointed at me.....
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:05, archived)
# Nope
(sorry wrong reply button, can't be bothered to change it now.)
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:05, archived)
# Ha ha That's ok then :D
It just weirded me out for a second!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:08, archived)
# Reminds me of Gilbert and George
(I helped save b3ta! kinks rock over London, rock on Chicago, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# What the spleencream?
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# What the cunting fuck
I'm still fuzzy from a nap so this is making my brainboxed go all wobbly.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# This is clearly some sort of futuristic Wankel engine.
It's SCIENCE I tell you! SCIENCE!
(AMadDayYes, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:10, archived)
# hahaha
*joys*
*collapses on the ground*
*egg comes out*

IT'S A SHIP'S ENGINE. I'M HAVING THAT
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DyK5CdZCaaE
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:10, archived)
# But who will look after my children?
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:14, archived)
# God bless Vic and Bob and all who sail in her
Someone help them pull their socks up and do some new stuff that's good though
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:19, archived)
# I think perhaps their time has been and gone.
Their hopes for revival lay with the new series of Shooting Stars.
So never mind then eh?
If they could pull another Catterick out of the bag that might do it, it's highly doubtful though.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:24, archived)
# Vic needs to stop doing
those ridiculous bingo ads first. Stop it Jim, you're impressing no-one
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:25, archived)
# I'm not watching telly with the sound up anymore during ad breaks,
I had no idea.
Well I guess his kids'll be greatful for his selling out when they don't have a mortgage to pay.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:29, archived)
# I love that advert :D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:38, archived)
# RUN
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:47, archived)
# How much trouble am I going to get into for this?
(LordMatthius http://www.justgiving.com/marathon-matt2009, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:59, archived)
# 22%
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:00, archived)
# he will personally come round your house and urinate in your eye
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:02, archived)
# Hahahahaha
It happened to me
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:03, archived)
# Fear his wrath, for it is quick and deadly.
And smells of sugar-puffs.
(LordMatthius http://www.justgiving.com/marathon-matt2009, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:04, archived)
# The ginger one's kitty is called Alecto
and is exceedingly vindictive
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# Nah.

He has men to do that for him these days. I remember the old days when Rob used the personal touch in his vigilante actions.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:04, archived)
# do you dare doubt the omnipresence of...
ROB?
repent, infidel!
(I helped save b3ta! Zhmei HEY B3TA I WAS ON YOUR DINGY ISLAND AT LAST!1!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# this much
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:04, archived)
# for what?
you mean he doesn't normally look like this?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:04, archived)
# post a board post with out a picture
then recieve the wrath of the board patrons thus futher shoving you into a spiral of self hatred and depression because you can't even get the internet right.

EDIT:... it worked for me when i first posted here :)
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:47, archived)
# And me
(Stashie is plotting against his blender on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:49, archived)
# this
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:47, archived)
# Haha evil jeebus
(I helped save b3ta! Fishcat Difficult difficult lemon difficult., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:55, archived)
# haha
Jesus: Im'a brick this bitch in the cerebellum!
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:57, archived)
# Burn them all.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:47, archived)
# i'm just so...
conflicted right now.
(I helped save b3ta! AgentMuu hentai coordination, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:48, archived)
#
Oh dear.
(I helped save b3ta! shovelboy This is bad - Two minutes to Belgium, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:49, archived)
# chop her head off
then marinade it in a nice Medoc, roast it with rosemary


then serve it to her - but make sure the placecard says "I know you shagged Paul and probably Barry as well"
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:49, archived)
# She fucked the Chuckle Brothers?
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:02, archived)
# don't laugh, this is EXACTLY the kind of thing that ends up with legal action against them
it's happened before :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# Probably the reason why they can only afford that bizarre quadricycle thing
As opposed to a lovely Ford Focus or somesuch.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:08, archived)
# still, doesn't stop them being SEX MAGNETS
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:10, archived)
# That's what happens when you hang around playgrounds with sweets
They all want a piece of ya
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:11, archived)
# it's the circle of life, alright
that's what it is
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:14, archived)
# The circle of life is merely a bollock on the CDC that is reality
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:22, archived)
# go fuck a bunch of guys.
 
THAT'LL SHOW HER
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:49, archived)
# hahaha
"See how you like it!"
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:50, archived)
# Do this.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:49, archived)
# Well it looks like they have improved ^his life
so you can't argue with that...
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:50, archived)
# quite so!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:07, archived)
# Maybe you should Kermit suicide
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:50, archived)
#
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:51, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(I helped save b3ta! ClanSoul, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:03, archived)
# i love this
hard and in the face.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:08, archived)
# Grow a flower.
(I helped save b3ta! Kallus speaks for the Spores, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:51, archived)
# Good advice.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:52, archived)
# I honestly don't know what I would be most happy about
the loverly flower...or the 3 foot cock!
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:53, archived)
# the cock, of course!
*yearns*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:55, archived)
# *yearns*...
That's what you do to repair socks...right?
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:57, archived)
# fucksocks, maybe
oh, darn...
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:58, archived)
# ha ha
:D and besides what would you want a three foot one for..Think of the parking and fuel bills
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:59, archived)
# i may not be able to use it successfully
but i'd give it a damn good try
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:07, archived)
# POLLENATE US!
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:53, archived)
# now THAT should be on the front page
I love your stuff, but that is really special :-)
(I helped save b3ta! but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:58, archived)
# Post on an internet message board, telling people of your woes and asking what you should do about it.
that's bound to win her back.

oh
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:52, archived)
# Hide behind the sofa
for the rest of your natural life.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:52, archived)
# Eat plenty
of cheese.
(I helped save b3ta! TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:52, archived)
# mm cheebes
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:53, archived)
# Have a nice cup of tea and a biscuit
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:53, archived)
# this is turning in to quite a nooby tuesday!
Talk board is here, www.b3ta.com/talk/ they'll help as most of them are fully qualified marriage guidance counsellors
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:53, archived)
# haha
I looked that and thought "oo, that link's purple - it's got to be Deagostini"
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:54, archived)
# It's like the fucking Samaritans on /talk

I mean Samaritans that are literally fucking. It's just like that. Are there still any Samritans these days?
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:55, archived)
# they've fucked each other to death
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:57, archived)
# *phones samaritans*
*hears 'post mortal orgiastic sighing'*

*cries into gin*
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:09, archived)
# you should
read TEH FAQ.
cheers.
and re-post your question on
b3ta.com/talk/

EDIT: oh, and you could do something in the style of this
b3ta.com/questions/foodsabotage/post250350
depending on how evil or pissed are you.
(I helped save b3ta! Zhmei HEY B3TA I WAS ON YOUR DINGY ISLAND AT LAST!1!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:54, archived)
# prizes for you
and other kindly greeters.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:05, archived)
# prizes! yay!
*happies*
(I helped save b3ta! Zhmei HEY B3TA I WAS ON YOUR DINGY ISLAND AT LAST!1!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:08, archived)
# Eat her face
(I helped save b3ta! Fishcat Difficult difficult lemon difficult., Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:56, archived)
# MELT HER FACE!
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:58, archived)
# EAT HER MOLTEN FACE CHEESE!
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:59, archived)
# FACE MELT HER GREASY MOLTEN INGOT CAKES AND THEN EAT THEM HER
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:11, archived)
# Bugger a nun.
twice.
(I helped save b3ta! FredAstaireAteMyTapShoes but he left me this fetching ballgown, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:58, archived)
# Post
those nudie pictures of her, that'll learn 'er.
(I helped save b3ta! wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 21:59, archived)
# Learn some new tricks
(shrewbie has a new signature, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:00, archived)
# talk to her
but can you make sure my pants are returned

ta
(I helped save b3ta! boff FL OZ, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:00, archived)
# does she go?
eh? eh?

Is this the right place for an argument?
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:02, archived)
# O_o
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:05, archived)
# This is a sad story.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# sad story is sad
:'(
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:13, archived)
# ^This^
is fckin wonderful.

The boat pic, in case of confusion.
(I helped save b3ta! littlefish I like cheese, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:09, archived)
# let's boat!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:13, archived)
# your boat is ace don't listen to them
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:09, archived)
# I'll never be happy with my boat
:/
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:14, archived)
# HAHAHAHA!
\o/
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:58, archived)
# best picture since the web was invented
(I helped save b3ta! Ysol ab abl blap, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 23:42, archived)
# It's no wonder she's unfaithful if you keep taking a shit with your trousers on like this, you big cuckold.
(I helped save b3ta! kinks rock over London, rock on Chicago, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:05, archived)
# Kill yourself
(I helped save b3ta! Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# go fuck yourself?,,,or keep having sloppy seconds
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# Hello!
*waves*
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:07, archived)
# hello! :)
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:10, archived)
# Hello New Person.
Perhaps you sould read the My Wife Is A Cumbucket Tramp FAQ. The recommended chuff size for wives on here is smaller than a dog kennel doorway.
(I helped save b3ta! FredAstaireAteMyTapShoes but he left me this fetching ballgown, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:06, archived)
# all the cut will be absorbed by it been a dog
(I helped save b3ta! Paster of Muppets is an incredible screen name, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:11, archived)
# buy a mid-priced handgun and shoot her in the tits.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:35, archived)
# mid-priced consumer goods represent shrewd thinking regarding a balance of economics and quality
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 7 Oct 2008, 22:51, archived)