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I think I'll just stay at home instead
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MC Chicken Sandwich All I want for Christmas is your mum, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 19:00,
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I was talking about this issue recently with a friend who wild camps...
I recall being taught how to dig a latrine as a child, both from being a Cub Scout and from a kid's guide to camping book I had (I only ever camped on designated sites, though, so never got to implement the knowledge fully).
My friend is eschewing wild camping at the moment due to not wanting to be associated with ignorant, selfish cunts who pitch up in the middle of the day, shit everywhere and leave piles of rubbish behind: the very opposite of wild camping's 'leave no trace' ethos.
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 19:12,
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My idea of slumming it is a hotel without room service.
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MC Chicken Sandwich All I want for Christmas is your mum, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 20:17,
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I've been to Ullapool
and can confirm it's a shit hole.
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Tusk knows where you live, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 19:49,
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I'm banned from Ullapool camp site.
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Huw Edwards Yer Maw's got the Hantavirus, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 20:22,
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When a man is banned from Ullapool camp site, he's banned from life.
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Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Wed 12 Aug 2020, 23:12,
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You would never realise there is a global pandemic going on ...
.. by utter fuckwits still desperate to go on holiday for one year despite the risks. Let it fucking go you utter spanners. Hang on I forgot. Me me me me me me me me I'm different.
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 21:24,
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Reminds me of
my first Glastonbury festival, there were signs dotted about that said: "Please bury your shit".
Wonder what would happen if you tried to dig a hole and shit in it at Glastonbury festival these days.
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My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 22:21,
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sorry, hole shitting is reserved for silver-class ticket holders and above
For forty pound we can offer you a 1 hour faeces upgrade that will allow you 60 minutes of hole shitting, but only in the tier 2 zone. Spade hire is an additional twenty pound, and I'll need photo ID. Will that be cash or card?
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 1:13,
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With the gold pass
you can shit all over the festival.
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My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 20:46,
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like Billie Eilish
Boom!
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 23:42,
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I'll set 'em up
you knock 'em down
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My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Fri 14 Aug 2020, 17:46,
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Is it really a holiday if you're constantly worried about where you're going to shit next?
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benito vaselini no not that one, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 10:13,
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yes
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ARSEHOLE cheesy arse grease innit, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 12:29,
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I think we've all had one of those kinds of holiday...
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 16:56,
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In other news:
90 trowels stolen from lay-bys.
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IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 10:22,
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Build a wall!
With a legal notice.
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Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 17:57,
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That’s PhosphorBurnedEyes round here
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Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 18:27,
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Loving the names of the contributors...
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 18:32,
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^ This
Just had a big lol
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 21:32,
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My favourite is the guy
who tried to do a funny name but got too angry and ended up called "Johnson fukn cunt Wanker bastard cock"
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My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 22:25,
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Haha like this
About as useful as Trump's wall or the Maginot Line.
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 21:30,
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Advertising fail
Spanish department store El Corte Inglés withdraws their new ad after outrage over the image suggesting a suicide. Darkly amusing, however incredibly tasteless, given a kid did leap off a store roof less than 2 years prior.
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SleeplessAndy SleeplessAndy, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 15:02,
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Took longer to disable the cookies than read the article.
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Pie of Meat ___°¬¯O¯____\o/_____/\_,____Y¯¯Y, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 15:11,
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Got a lot of publicity quickly though, so not all bad.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 15:21,
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Everybody's up to this these days.
That recent hedgehog movie was certainly not the first cynical "Be really shit, get free headlines" approach.
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dribble, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 17:50,
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terrible bullying
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Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Wed 12 Aug 2020, 23:13,
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Sickipedia, I mean
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dribble, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 23:47,
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Island of Dolls
Somewhere nice for a holiday perhaps?
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Chuffer Dandridge Arkell ~vs~ Pressdram, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 13:54,
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I'd like to see people on mushrooms deal with these.
What a deeply sad story.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 15:25,
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Fantastic reality show though
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My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 20:48,
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Nope
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Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 17:34,
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Just stumbled across this
Been trying to find the source for a couple recurring faces in b3ta photoshops and stumbled across this collection. What other b3ta related photoshop cut outs should I be aware of?
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JauntyArt, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 13:26,
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Welcome to B3ta
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Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 13:59,
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You can't have looked that far - it's linked to from the faq.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 15:27,
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Yeah, but the FAQ also says
“If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything.“
So it’s pretty obvious nobody reads it any more unfortunately.
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Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 15:40,
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It also says that “you might just find that the talk board moves at a slower pace and is a nicer place to chat.“
So it’s hardly a reliable source of information.
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wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 15:44,
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The what?
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dribble, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 16:31,
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it's where the coolest kids hang out
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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 9:19,
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coolest kids +dy fiddlers
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wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 11:00,
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That's a smashing blouse you have on.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 15:50,
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Nah, my smashing blouse has the rohypnol in the pocket.
This is my “holy shit it’s hot” outfit.
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Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 16:20,
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Your fursuit?
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 16:43,
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I feel like I've just climbed
into one of those abandoned houses where everything is right where the last owner left it.
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The Togaboy The world will end on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 23:18,
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you could say that about any house you climb into
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 1:21,
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Not if you're the second one climbing in.
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Huw Edwards Yer Maw's got the Hantavirus, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 16:54,
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!
I wonder if he ever finishes a DIY job to his house?
What's that music? oh it's bob fixing the sink
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razzle, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 11:41,
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I've always got time for unusual instruments
There were some pretty good ones in there - it's the ones that are a genuinely novel way of producing a tone that I find interesting, but there were quite a few in the "fix a guitar neck to a bit of junk" category which get a bit repetitive.
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tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 17:54,
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77 year old Japanese fella makes artwork in Excel...
In this video he claims it was because he didn't want to spend money on paint, or even proper imaging software, so in the end stuck to what he already had installed.

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guffguff fuckes your gradeds balls!, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 10:29,
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Mad respect.
But yeah, he is using a bagel to dig a ditch.
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 11:41,
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You'd think he'd just use it for what it was made for, a flight simulator
though the fun sponges at MS have probably removed that by now
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Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 13:50,
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Wow.
I'd forgotten about that.
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id10ts WTF happened, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 15:22,
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Don't worry,
there'll be an unsolicited live tile advert for MS Flight Sim 2020 in the next Win 10 feature update...
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 18:42,
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I love all the "wow look how gorgeous this game is" praise online
despite the fact it's going be be a shit-ass boring piece of crap to play
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Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 11:52,
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If you can fly planes into buildings, I'm all for it.
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Huw Edwards Yer Maw's got the Hantavirus, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 16:40,
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I for one welcome our new artificially intelligent sound effect overlords
Autofoley software analyses the action onscreen to generate suitable sounds. Needs to work on it's horse sounds though.
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RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 8:45,
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Easier than burning down the recording studio every time you need a crinkling celllophane sound effect
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 9:12,
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Celllellolllophane!
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Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 13:42,
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That horse is double tapping
The Fred Astaire of clopetyclop.
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 11:37,
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we're all fields
thats a huge chunk of my physics schooling made redundant
incidently I always thought the copenhagen interpretation/ many worlds theory was not correct and the fact that matter can be both fields and particles
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razzle, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 6:53,
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Isn't 'all this were fields' the Midlands or Yorkshire interpretation?
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Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 10:07,
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'all this were waves' is the Dutch interpretation
Then they discovered dykes and stuck a finger in.
Now it is all fields that stink of pig poo.
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 11:39,
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all the schooling is totally relevant
Newtonian mechanics is good enough to live your life by, even good enough to send missions to far across the solar system.
QFT doesn't really address the measurement problem either so the Copenhagen idea is still ... well obviously bullshit but QFT doesn't shed light on it
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simbosan nuck nuck nuck, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 10:09,
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I kind of like the idea
that nothing exists apart from fields, and then the next question - what are fields?... we don't know.
So we know nothing
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razzle, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 10:28,
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we know quite a lot!
Be interesting to see someone build a car from first principles using QFT
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simbosan nuck nuck nuck, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 23:59,
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well the proton's positively easy
if you can gluon the brackets
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ozof, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 6:32,
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The Flaming Lips' Boom box Experiment
Was just thinking about this show they did in the 90s, and I wondered if there was any footage. The internet delivered.
It's a bit of a racket.
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monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 23:24,
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zaireeka! ka! ka!
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 23:33,
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Blatant full frontal nauseating cuteness
*asplodes*
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 22:35,
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Pussy likes young cock...
Or 'breakfast'...
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 23:28,
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feral cat advice please...
a stray fluffster has taken a liking to a wooden crate behind the shed. timid but friendly. big looking belly for a stray. put out some water and lined crate with an old towel - should i just leave it be?
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 23:36,
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Calling the RSPCA in seems like the best bet tbh. If it has an owner, it'll likely be microchipped and returned home. If not it'll still probably have a better life than it currently has.
Also the big belly might mean it's pregnant rather than well-fed.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 23:48,
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preggas is what i initially thought
super cute but dishevelled long hair no collar
if still there tomoz will rspca - cheers
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 23:52,
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That or serve with potatoes.
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 11:40,
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Unlikely to be feral, could be a pregnant stray queen [risqué joke here]
RSPCA, local shelters, local vets possibly and check lost cat stuff online. I found a cat last year and a friend found the owner on farcebook.
Having said that, we don't know it doesn't belong to a neighbour and is just bloody greedy.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 0:01,
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what's the ratio of bricks to kittens in the current pillowcase economy these daze?
will check her out tomorrow and see where to go from there - cheers
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 0:05,
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You know the stray scene
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dribble, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 0:11,
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Lots of farms around and uncaring people.
Young cats tend to turn up here or I get given them.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 0:29,
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farms working class family pubs
cats builders
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dribble, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 0:34,
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alright dollars
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 0:42,
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Cat Protection league
www.cats.org.uk/
we had a bunch of feral ones and the CPL* loaned me cages, bait and advice then collected the cats and found them homes if needed. At worst they neutered /spayed them and released them again. Speedier and more responsive than RSPCA was at the time
Not to be confused with the LPC or the PLfC, splitters.
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unclepills, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 10:37,
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I'd like to see people on mushrooms deal with the these.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 20:22,
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ROADFISH NO
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Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 11 Aug 2020, 20:36,
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"Digital content on track to equal half Earth's mass by 2245"
Future b3ta candle days and Brexit/memorial bench threads threaten the planet
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 19:55,
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That's an interestingly absurd/absurdly interesting idea.
I'd hope common sense would prevail; an ecosystem and viable habitat is preferable to computer data storage.
Of course the Megabezos might have moved the ecosystem to a network of O'Neil Cylinders in orbit around Titan by then.
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 20:59,
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Ah, the old “let’s assume an exponential process will continue indefinitely” idiocy.
Still, it got them some publicity. Mission accomplished!
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Pie of Meat ___°¬¯O¯____\o/_____/\_,____Y¯¯Y, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 21:02,
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you're right, it could get worse than modelled
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 3:45,
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There was something in New Scientist about 10 or 15 years ago
where someone had set out to weigh the internet. On the basis that each bit is represented by a 1 or a 0, and that by the presence or absence of an electron, if you worked out how many bits there were in the internet, you could would out how many electrons. Since electrons are massive, you can just multiply through.
The whole internet at the time weighed about the same as a strawberry. I suspect that it's more like an bowlful now.
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Star Wars Starwarsy McStarwars Face, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 21:31,
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But is it a living strawberry
Or a dead one? How would you know?
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Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 22:06,
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Taste?
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 11:52,
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Radio4life
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 14:21,
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A load of bollocks really, given how we actually store data
But it does remind me of Carl Sagan estimating the equivalent weight what all radio telescopes had picked up at that point as about the same as a single falling snowflake.
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jonbob loves you, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 0:06,
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It'll mostly be log files
unread and untouched log files
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Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 22:00,
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2 girls 1 log
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dribble, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 23:09,
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Human centipede porn edition.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 0:12,
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Foot porn
For the chronically isiasable insiciable isnitibable insi
FUCK SHIT
insatiable
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 11:49,
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oh god ^
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ozof, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 12:08,
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easy!!
just delete the cat videos
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razzle, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 22:23,
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{:-<
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 22:36,
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it's either the cat videos
or porn!!
not sure about the intersection of both groups!!
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razzle, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 21:07,
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"Using current storage densities"
Yes, because the we store data has hardly changed at all in recent times, and will surely be almost the same in 120 odd years.
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The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 4:33,
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Not a good thing to teach your kid...
Knobs being knobs.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 18:01,
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I'm happy with anything that takes morons out of the gene pool by their own stupidity...
Unfortunately, someone else usually has to pick up the pieces...or wipe the bloody smear off...
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 18:15,
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Not so cool if the twat's bike derails a 70mph train full of passengers.
I'm really fucking amazed by the antics in that video. So many twats. Who knew there were so many idiots-oh yeah the 52% thing. Never mind.
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 20:41,
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why is this dangerous!
ok, your on a high speed death track!
but if you can see any approaching train in advance - and typically you can, since high speed trains do not cope very well with blind corners. you get easily 10-20seconds of warning with a f**king great horn blarring at you*
*may or may not be based on my misspent youth
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razzle, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 22:35,
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Can you imagine it from the drivers point of view?
Given that they cannot stop.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 0:39,
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Yeah, I was being flippant above...
well aware of the shit that train drivers have to deal with...particularly so given today's headline news.
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 19:34,
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"incredibly dangerous" seems somewhat of an exaggeration
If they allow cyclists to walk their bikes through the crossing as the sign implies, presumably this is also reliant on their ability to detect if a train is coming to do so safely, in the same way as the photographer would be.
I'd also presume the safety margins don't require split-second reaction times, otherwise it would be a dangerous crossing for any user that they've sanctioned, and the sign should say "Cyclists Should Ride Through Here At Flat Chat And Hope For The Best"
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 13 Aug 2020, 1:35,
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Drunk History: Trump Edition
Rather simple idea rather well executed.
Note to Mr. Penis: It's okay, Trevor Noah isn't in it so you don't have to concern yourself.
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 15:55,
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I'll pass anyway, thanks.
But I'm more than happy to give you a sympathy click.
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Huw Edwards Yer Maw's got the Hantavirus, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 16:39,
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Sympathy c lick
Sympathy c lick
Sympathy click
Sympathy dick
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 16:54,
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You bastard
That's now playing in my head to the blankety blank theme tune.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYhXdnaZE_M
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Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 17:26,
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Git, now I have an earworm without even clicking.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 17:30,
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*rubs hands and cackles with glee*
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 17:54,
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Always rub your cackles with glee, now in pump dispenser.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 18:03,
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The cackles are usually found below the pump dispenser...
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 18:32,
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Baddum tish
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 18:36,
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Ffs
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Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 20:57,
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Saturday links
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wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 21:13,
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Saturday links?
ding ding
Saturday links
Saturday links
ding ding
Saturday links
Saturday links
Saturday links
Saturday links
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Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 22:02,
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AAARRRGHHHHH
*throws laptop through window*
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Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 22:53,
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Does it have USB C and a 2GB graphic card?
Asking before divin'
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 11:44,
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Can't think of a good caption
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 15:41,
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How about SPECIES TRAITOR!
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 16:02,
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Someone's been on the wrong messageboards again.
Breitbart or DM?
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 16:08,
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Like all cool cats, The Canary, actually.
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 17:33,
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Bit like a British CNN, but less exciting.
For sanity reasons I'll stick to apnews, Reuters.
Snopes gets a good rating from this site
mediabiasfactcheck.com/
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 17:59,
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Should have gone to Speciesavers
CaC
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 17:30,
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the first few months of inaction and incompetence
I bet most people forget this crap
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razzle, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 12:48,
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Oh hi, Sockcooker!
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Huw Edwards Yer Maw's got the Hantavirus, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 14:16,
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I really wish people would stop coming back under new accounts
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dribble, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 14:30,
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b3ta.com/links/1547168
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Huw Edwards Yer Maw's got the Hantavirus, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 14:31,
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Nah, but I do have a YouTube channel, if you're interested in ratings out of 10 for new crisp flavours and other people's driving.
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dribble, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 15:16,
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There are no new crisp flavours
It is all rebranding.
Wake up sheeple!
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 20:50,
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Lol forward to your next shit gaming video where you moan about the council
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Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 20:58,
Reply)
Chinesse cannibals
edit: WTF?
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 21:52,
Reply)
I've been a lurker on here for over 10 years
I'm not Sockcooker..
err.. he would say that though!!
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razzle, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 14:36,
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Well you can prove anything with facts can't you.
I rather like those Donkey chaps. I wish they'd get out of London a bit, mind you.
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brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 15:11,
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It's probably best if they stay there for the moment.
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Penis Christ Supercar not to be confused with other popular Christs, Wed 12 Aug 2020, 21:43,
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BJ pretty useless, but blaming a Chinese virus on him pretty nefferius.
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chasbo zelena Real Immodesty, Fri 14 Aug 2020, 16:45,
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O.F.I put it another way, China want payback for the opium Wars? Tedious Keith has probably got the patience to put them back to sleep.
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chasbo zelena Real Immodesty, Fri 14 Aug 2020, 16:55,
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poetry
NSFW
I made this!
I did some poetry.
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DefyingDarwin Old, untalented and white,, Tue 11 Aug 2020, 10:56,
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