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This is a link post How to get more women NSFW
My man explains the only proven formula to get women and keep them. Pay special attention as to what to holler at them and what to do with your bank roll.
(Peacocke, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:35, Reply)
This is a normal post surely you can't have a "pussy intake"
you can only have a "penis output"
 (Stonkwood Pipes made me do it, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:43, Reply)
This is a normal post hehehe.

(I am a cucumber. Save me, Popobawa!, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 2:47, Reply)
This is a normal post Is this guy for real?
basically shout at women until they respond to you, who said romance was dead.
 (I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:48, Reply)
This is a normal post Today's show was brought to you by the words "Bitches", "N*gger" & the number one.
Christ, I hope that was a joke. Sadly, I don't think it was. How depressing.
 (I helped save b3ta! Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:51, Reply)
This is a normal post Nah man
Dis shit be all ironic an' shit! You can tell from the titles, homes.
 (WildType is remixing your mum, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 19:57, Reply)
This is a normal post aaye pull out maah bank rollll
this nigga be fo'real yo!
 (I helped save b3ta! Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:58, Reply)
This is a normal post after hearing
mumble mumble mumble nigga mumble beyatches mumble mumble roll mumble mumble and 30 seconds i gave up
 (I helped save b3ta! The invisible ham Fig rolls are the best, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 19:54, Reply)
This is a normal post Thank god for the above comments
reviewing this. I don't need to watch it now.
 (I helped save b3ta! Avast is still alive!!!!, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 19:58, Reply)
This is a normal post He breathes, he drinks water, he sleeps!
my perfect man.
 (I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 21:19, Reply)
This is a normal post Yo BIATCH!
*I'm so in there*...
 (UltimateMonkey Ban this sick filth!, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 1:26, Reply)
This is a normal post *wiggles bum*

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 1:39, Reply)
This is a normal post "A bitch, likes to be called a bitch
so make sure you call a bitch a bitch, when you hollerin' at a bitch"

God, so that's where I've been going wrong... it all makes sense now!
 (SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 21:48, Reply)
This is a normal post Sound Advice

(I helped save b3ta! Darklord, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 23:19, Reply)
This is a normal post
he forgets to mention the crack rock he is shaking around in his pocket as he shouts to his "bitches"
 (I helped save b3ta! rootsxrocks, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 4:57, Reply)
This is a link post Christmas.
For the love of god.
 (kellysprinkles dying for a pee since, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:29, Reply)
This is a normal post love of god hahaha
i read this earlier, they just can't wait to get their grubby hands on your hard-earned money
 (I helped save b3ta! Avast is still alive!!!!, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 19:59, Reply)
This is a link post lol

(I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:23, Reply)
This is a normal post ......
what is this "lol" that you speak of?
 (I helped save b3ta! Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 19:00, Reply)
This is a normal post the witch's voice and the dancing
that is all : )
 (I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 21:30, Reply)
This is a link post Fun with tarsiers
Erm, well that's highly original content and all.
 (I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:27, Reply)
This is a normal post well, they've included a link to b3ta.com
would've been better if they just linked to the compo results.
 (Heaping Spoonful of sugar, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:41, Reply)
This is a normal post I'd missed a few of those
and at least there is a tiny, almost noticeable source credit at the end of the list.
 (I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:46, Reply)
This is a normal post *Shakes fist*
At least they left our tags on
 (I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:28, Reply)
This is a normal post cunts!
what the fuck was wrong with my pic?!
 (I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 20:16, Reply)
This is a normal post pfft
i was thinking the same thing
 (benito vaselini no not that one, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 21:08, Reply)
This is a link post B3ta.com/Links Mini Mega Mix I made this!
As suggested by Dave!A selection of tracks that have appeared on or are related to www.beta.com\links.
Track List: 1.Weebl - Anything. 02.Seal - Crazy (boynextdoor remix). 03. Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer - Acid Edward. 04. Swede Mason - Schofield On Crack. 05. Weebl - Stephen Fry. 06. Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pips - Great Britain (8bit Ninjas Mayday Mix). 07. MrDogshit - Sex On Fire. 08. Weebl - Flying Squirrels. 09. Weebl - Shut Up Woman Get On My Horse. 10. MrDogshit - 10 Song Prodigy Mashup. 11. Claire Collective - Eat Da Poo Poo Hardstyla rmx. 12. Dave - Hardcore Noisage 2k10 (MP3 only)

Apologise to Dave! whose track doesn't fit into the 11 minute time limit of YouTube. It is on the full MP3 though:
fairtilizer.com/track/133379

Its a bit ropey in parts but what the hell. Its only B3ta :0)
(ambergambler NotSoSeriousMusicMixedInANotTooSeriousWay, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)
This is a normal post *Clicks*
Big grin! :)
 (WildType is remixing your mum, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:53, Reply)
This is a normal post
Glad you like it mate:0)
Sorry I didn't play more of your remix, would hve been nice to have got some of the vocals in.
 (ambergambler NotSoSeriousMusicMixedInANotTooSeriousWay, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 20:06, Reply)
This is a normal post No worries man
Just glad you liked it enough to play it in the first place!
 (WildType is remixing your mum, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 22:24, Reply)
This is a normal post I really like this.
I'm not sold so much on the music to be fair...but I love that you have taken all the B3ta stuff and done summat with it. I'm so not creative in any way, so I applaud you! Even with no toe nail painting :-)
Nice one AG.
 (I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 1:43, Reply)
This is a normal post
cheers mate :0)
 (ambergambler NotSoSeriousMusicMixedInANotTooSeriousWay, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 9:12, Reply)
This is a normal post Clicked but...
...where's 'I love horses'??
 (I helped save b3ta! pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)
This is a normal post
Ha, I did mean to put that in and that Trololo one. Probably should have shoved Rob's "Spamming Cunt" song in as well. Too much good stuff you see. maybe next time eh?
 (ambergambler NotSoSeriousMusicMixedInANotTooSeriousWay, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)
This is a normal post Know it's a bit late now - but YAY! :D
can't believe I missed it although just thinking about it, i was at work on sunday, so that's probably why lol
 (I helped save b3ta! mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 22:59, Reply)
This is a link post Angry man mocks Hackney newcomers
Think 'Shoreditch Twat', except they've moved to the 'burbs.
 (ClivePounds Never Ever Bloody Anything Ever, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:16, Reply)
This is a normal post lolled
i live down the road, on shoreditch high street because its next door to my office...i see many of these types and i always end up laughing in my head.

its better than cambridge for the wierdo count!
 (DefyingDarwin Old, untalented and white,, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
This is a normal post but but but DefyingDarwin old chum
you work for a web company. you live in Shoreditch. you sometimes wear hats. THIS BLOG IS ABOUT YOU.
 (I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:41, Reply)
This is a normal post It's possible
..that even the blog's creator is partly implicated.

*looks sheepish*
 (ClivePounds Never Ever Bloody Anything Ever, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:47, Reply)
This is a normal post I like this very very much
very very much
 (chemicals1234, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 15:03, Reply)
This is a normal post Ah, fond memories of 'The Shoreditch twat'
my all time fave being their Adventure gamebooks issue
 (I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy..........🫥, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)
This is a normal post sounds like
just about all of the art and media students here in Plymouth. I went to one of the final art/media displays at the art college for a gander and I have to admit it was mainly full of pretentious hipsters with mediocre work promoting themselves as graphic designers. I wanted to destroy. I saw loads of hipsters in town today i had to resist the sudden urge to attack
 (I helped save b3ta! The invisible ham Fig rolls are the best, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:01, Reply)
This is a normal post Don't resist the urge.
The bet thing to do with hipsters is to break thier supposed cool...

Like ALLEGEDLY running up behind one and shunting him into a pond. Face it with hipsters they are hardly capable of fighting back, even emo's have more gumption.
 (Captain_lambkin adifferent.me, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:58, Reply)
This is a normal post The venting of spleeens is what t'interwebs was created for
That and kittens. And pornography, obviously...
 (UltimateMonkey Ban this sick filth!, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:31, Reply)
This is a normal post These twats and their fixed gear bikes make me RAAAAGGGGGEEEEEE

(I helped save b3ta! applehead herp derp, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 22:28, Reply)
This is a link post Facebook "We're good guys" spin: The Movie
Too many cliches and adoration to contain much truth and that's just the trailer.

*edit: Changed link as it wasn;t the trailer I thought it was in the 1st link.
 (I helped save b3ta! Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)
This is a normal post Facebook is primarily a data capture and analysis device.
If you have any sense remove all your personal data from it and if you must use it, do so with a pseudonym.
 (I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:25, Reply)
This is a normal post I just moved to china where there is no facebook.
I'm thinking this is the best time to just delete my account for good.
 (augsav forgot about B3ta, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:35, Reply)
This is a normal post do the bits you add to the side of your id
reflect your increasing paranoia?
 (DefyingDarwin Old, untalented and white,, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:37, Reply)
This is a normal post it's meant to be a super-turbo vehicle
:/
 (I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)
This is a normal post They can only capture and analyse data that you choose to give them though.

(Vlad the Inhaler forgot his password, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:19, Reply)
This is a link post congratulations...you are no longer human
a laughably bad idea featured in newscientist..

It's all about those human identification "capture" devices...and some fellas think they have the answer, Posted here cos i'm curios if anyone can pass this test...which is used as an example of the process?
 (DefyingDarwin Old, untalented and white,, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)
This is a normal post That bastion of science...
The lions were easy to spot, couldn't spot a thing in the second picture
 (I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)
This is a normal post I failed
I can only see the Rhino, Even with the answers!
 (I helped save b3ta! GneissRocks and slatey cleavage, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)
This is a normal post however...
can you see an angry parrot staring at you on the left side of the cliff.... its like he's looking straight at you

Edit: schizophrenically replied to myself

Edit with photoshop:


(DefyingDarwin Old, untalented and white,, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:00, Reply)
This is a normal post silly humans
that wont stop us
 (I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:12, Reply)
This is a normal post that reminds me
izismile.com/2010/02/01/unsuccessful_and_crazy_captchas_44_pics.html

There's even a kitten-based one
 (Smale is stuffed, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)
This is a link post The Picolax thread
An epic description of the effects of 'Picolax' - an extremely potent laxative, brought on by an innocent question on a messageboard.
 (I helped save b3ta! Grindstaff, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)
This is a normal post heh that magazine is produced where i live
*takes a closer look*
hahahaha christ
 (I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)
This is a normal post ooooh there's many rolls worth of toilet humour in there!
I'll just click "I like this!" right away because I know I will :)

edit: oops meant to post it to the original topic but oh well..
 (Roxon, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)
This is a normal post What a massive wuss
he should try Picolax and THEN have to drink 8 pints of Agent Kleenprep in four hours.

(careful now mrs sp@m gets graphic and unladylike)
Kleenprep tastes like seawater, no amouunt of orange concentrate can change this, the taste of it makes you want vomit instantly and unlike the one trip to the loo that gentleman had with picolax; kleenprep gives you at most a 30 second break between shits, I had read all this prior to my colonoscopy and had actually set up a station in the bathroom with a little table for my laptop and some movies I had downloaded it was an awesome evening. You imagine that once the four hours of drinking is up you'll "have it all out your system" but no you need at least two hours plus for it to flush out of you.

The inflation is very painful too but I was given lots and lots of drugs to make me woozy - of course it didn't help when the nurse walked in as my bare arse is hanging over the table and it turned out to be a friend of the family who, upon my embarrassment announces "oh relax it's nowt I aint seen before when I used to change your nappies as a baby" :(
 (I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:59, Reply)
This is a normal post I haven't laughed that hard for a very, very long time. Thank you!
A single click on the "I like this" button seems so insufficient...
 (The Great British Troll, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:26, Reply)
This is a normal post I think this was
Posted once before, since I can't imagine where else I'd have found it, that being said, it's still a wondrously amusing bit of prose.

I arf'd all over again. :)
 (mucuscough http://sciencehubb.co.uk/ <-Science-y stuff, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 16:28, Reply)
This is a normal post One of the posts in there
said it was newsletter'd at the time.

I've never laughed so hard at anything in my life... amazing stuff.
 (I helped save b3ta! Dave McF wrote some words on, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:13, Reply)
This is a link post Honestly, nothing about this makes sense NSFW
The 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggaloes
nsfw for some swears. obviously
(Urban Hermit Exit, pursued by a bear on, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 12:39, Reply)
This is a normal post Erm
Its an advert for a rap/rock festival?

whats not to get.

Maybe it would help if you know that juggalos is the name given to themselves, for ICP (Insane Clown Posse) fans.
I don't know why thou.
 (NoMoreFaith can believe its not bloody butter, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 12:55, Reply)
This is a normal post Yes
I know, it just seems inherently ridiculous. And doesn't need to be 17 minutes long

honestly, the whole ICP thing baffles me. I cant believe people take it seriously
 (Urban Hermit Exit, pursued by a bear on, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)
This is a normal post
Human beings strive to feel like their belong, and I guess being a Juggalo requires no qualifications other than being able to stand ICP's brand of yattering.
 (NoMoreFaith can believe its not bloody butter, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:43, Reply)
This is a normal post Thats a qualification in itself
But how do magnets work?
 (Urban Hermit Exit, pursued by a bear on, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:56, Reply)
This is a normal post Magic
Duuuh.
 (NoMoreFaith can believe its not bloody butter, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:31, Reply)
This is a normal post Of course!
It's all so simple!
 (Urban Hermit Exit, pursued by a bear on, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 19:10, Reply)
This is a normal post One of the nine circles of hell, surely

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)
This is a normal post Magnets
. . .
 (DefyingDarwin Old, untalented and white,, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:02, Reply)
This is a normal post lul

(I helped save b3ta! mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 18:52, Reply)
This is a link post todays wee ear worm
a nice relaxing sunday afternoon tune

Smoke City - Underwater love
(Halfy By light alone, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 12:09, Reply)
This is a normal post great justice

(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 19:29, Reply)
This is a link post Shanghai Tales - Expression of pure incredulity
Check out the girl in pink's facial expression right at the end of the clip. I wish my face could do that.
(ClivePounds Never Ever Bloody Anything Ever, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 9:59, Reply)
This is a normal post Hahaha!
Yes.
 (I helped save b3ta! LP, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)
This is a normal post he he he

(OneForTheRoad man under glass, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)
This is a normal post HA!
Wonderful
 (I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)
This is a normal post haha!

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 10:41, Reply)
This is a normal post that translation is fucking awful
but at the end, the girl just says 'no', so the other girls face is a 'you're being difficult' face.

I've kind of spoiled it now haven't I?
 (Ol' Ginger Bastard a role model for the children, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 12:43, Reply)
This is a normal post Nah...
...nothing could spoil the face. Even in and of itself, the face speaks volumes.
 (ClivePounds Never Ever Bloody Anything Ever, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)
This is a link post 8-Bit Twilight Eclipse (Interactive Game)
Twilight Eclipse, if it were a Nintendo-style choose-your-own-adventure game.
(AFish, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 9:53, Reply)
This is a normal post i imagine
that it's like the guitar hero episode of south park, and when the user finishes playing it it flashes "you are a fag".
 (The Blue Brony Flogging a Dead Horse Since, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 11:23, Reply)
This is a link post make up tutorial

(chopchopchopchop chopchopchopchopchopchopchop, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 9:41, Reply)
This is a normal post She's awesome
I love her avatar make-up tutorial too.
 (I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 9:55, Reply)
This is a normal post Blimey
I had not heard about that film.

Just when you thought all the properly nuts ideas were used up...
 (I helped save b3ta! meccadave, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 10:10, Reply)
This is a link post the only vuvuzela joke that has made me laugh
it should be noted that i am an idiot
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 7:08, Reply)
This is a normal post Brilliant
This makes me an idiot also!
 (I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 7:58, Reply)
This is a normal post I quite like the joke
about the dyslexic tourist visiting South Africa during the World Cup.

He was really keen to blow a zulufella
 (I helped save b3ta! Tiffany Aching 's bowl of oatmeal tried to stare her down and won, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 8:07, Reply)
This is a normal post
Love it!
 (I helped save b3ta! enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 8:49, Reply)
This is a normal post Nice Rocky intro
but I got fed up by James Bond
 (I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 8:36, Reply)
This is a normal post Made me laugh
But I was hoping they did Close Encounters of The Third Kind.
 (I helped save b3ta! Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)
This is a normal post Nice
I particularly enjoyed the Mission Impossible bit where he slowly descended into complete loss of will to live.
 (I helped save b3ta! ousgg is not seeking approval, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 10:50, Reply)
This is a normal post Fellow idiot here
Such an expressive and subtle instrument...
 (UltimateMonkey Ban this sick filth!, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 11:31, Reply)
This is a normal post Haha
My favourite was the Good the Bad and the Ugly
 (I helped save b3ta! morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)
This is a normal post That was feckin mega.
Had me laughing like a drain!!!
 (I helped save b3ta! @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Sun 18 Jul 2010, 17:44, Reply)
This is a link post Nice and scary singer I made this!
I shot this video yesterday, it was a bit improvised, I thought it was a good idea then. Now I can't sleep at night.
(samboussek, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 3:45, Reply)
This is a link post Centimint
Make every connection count!
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 2:21, Reply)
This is a normal post They need a spray to take away the smell of the movie.
What a pile of shit it was.
 (I helped save b3ta! JamTallons, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 9:54, Reply)
This is a link post Stand up comedy
Well I thought it was funny
(rizzivision, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 1:52, Reply)
This is a link post Teddy Bear Made of Human Placenta!
Waste not, want not.
 (TommyShanks, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 1:37, Reply)
This is a normal post Hmm... My wife's due to give birth in 3 weeks
*gives me ideas*
 (I helped save b3ta! dirtyscarab intends to live forever. So far, so good..., Sun 18 Jul 2010, 1:41, Reply)
This is a normal post what?

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 1:43, Reply)
This is a normal post the fuck?

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 1:43, Reply)
This is a normal post Huh? Wha?

(I helped save b3ta! dirtyscarab intends to live forever. So far, so good..., Sun 18 Jul 2010, 1:45, Reply)
This is a normal post Sorry
Not you!
I meant to reply to the main link!
 (I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 1:54, Reply)
This is a normal post You're going to make a placenta hat?

Or how about some placenta speedos?
 (I helped save b3ta! Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Sun 18 Jul 2010, 8:24, Reply)
This is a normal post Good luck my friend!

(I helped save b3ta! SpookySpoon www.vivino.com/users/hig.func, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 11:27, Reply)

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