I'm getting itchy feet again and feel like travelling somewhere in the UK at the end of November.
Where should I go?
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:35, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A Question
I have seventeen raisins in one hand, and I insert the other hand into a cow, then invest my raisins in milk shares. Breaking a bottle of German white wine over the shin of my Aunt Boris, I head North relative to that which is not North. If I drink the water from the Doric well to my left, what colour is the bear?

_{Sorry, it's going to be one of those days...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:18, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That thread's dead, so answer me this Halloween-inspired question:
When was the most scared you've ever been and why? Did a bit of wee come out?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:37, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So....weekend plans?
Mine consist entirely of making it to the end of today alive, having had about 20mins sleep (well done Monty you fucking cretin).

Daughter on Sunday - although I'm getting threatening texts from her charming mother about not being allowed to see her unless I give her some money - not my maintenance payment which she'll get on the first. Some different money.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:19, 122 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did anyone watch the programme about the girl who was attacked with acid.
God! I wouldn't wish that on anyone but she was fucking shallow.


Basically she said that only now would she go out with someone with a facial disfigurement because she knows what they have gone through and understands that there is a person underneath the disfigurement.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:03, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone watch the Restaurant last night?
did you see the stupid bint trying to open a coconut and a tin of condensed milk with a massive knife and a rolling pin?

I'd have wet myself laughing if she'd chopped her fingers off.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:55, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Omens
I rarely enter the living room on weekday mornings, it's just not in my routine. This morning, however, I did. Then I switched on the television. Another rare thing. What did I see? Angela Lansbury's grimacing face frozen onto my screen! Completely still, stuck in a hideous gurning frown. I had to switch the Freeview box off and on in order to get rid of it. Why has this happened to me? Of what is it a portent? What has spooked you ahead of Halloween?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:32, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did anyone see The Event on channel 4 last night?
It was an experiment about racism. A group of volunteers were spilt up according to eye colour. The brown eyed people were treated really well and the blue eyed, and therefore white, people were treated badly. This was based on an experiment done in the 60s.
What did you think?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:08, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Saw this article today


but my mind interpreted it as this:



ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE

Feel free to do better than mine. Only subtraction is allowed, no adding letters.
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 6:43, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've had an interview today
While I don't want to jinx myself too badly I think it went very well. I was supposed to be interviewed by the Technical Director but unfortunately she'd had a home emergency so I was interviewed by her via speakerphone and the CEO of the company in person.

The CEO laid out the company history and philosophy followed by some best/worst project type questions from the TD before the CEO finished off with some questions about my CV where I managed to successfully explain the questionable areas of my recent history. Then a bit of money talk and a promise of a second interview ASAP next week with the TD in person and the CTO so I'm really hopeful right now.

Much as I know that this is somewhere where we all come to escape from the doldrums of life I'd really appreciate any spare karma you could send my way as this sounds like the job for me and $Deity knows I need it!
(bill, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 4:47, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh bloody hell...
What a day! I've learned I'm not equipped to deal with being told by a friend's teenage daughter that she has self-harmed and then subsequently find out she's lied about it. Never have I understood the phrase "not angry but disappointed" with greater clarity.

What about you lot?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 30 Oct 2009, 0:28, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gonz
What can you say about Gonz, I've met him now on two or three occasions and every time it feels like i'm standing in a smokey basement bar, a blues band are warming up in the corner. Suddenly a hush descends and a spotlight hits the middle of the stage and there he is, ripping out some red hot licks that seem to make your very soul tap it's feet and groove along.

I'd like to hope that some day it'll be like I'm jamming in the corner of a pub with some friends. Afterwards we're sitting at the bar having some beers when a shadow falls across us and a voice says "Hey, you guys we're alright". With that he winks, pats me on the shoulder and is gone.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 22:47, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:19, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have a job interview on Monday
Should I go in fancy dress, and if so, what?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:08, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

FRIZ LIVE CONCERT
tinychat.com/b3ta
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 18:27, Reply)

Frankfurt
Sorry, wrong board.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:49, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If you could keep someone in a shed at the bottom of your garden
who would it be but more importantly - why would you keep them there?

The more bizarre the reason the better, ta.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:56, 145 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The thread below seems to have petered out
So welcome to the all new Dear Auntie Bert Agony Aunt thread.

Tell me your problems internet, and I'll solve them. It'll be a bit like that Baldmonkey thing on /talk, but without the shit podcast
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:50, 97 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's a good job I like my own company.
*whistles*
( girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:59, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I'm busy looking at what I am meant to teach next term.
A lot of what we teach comes from the QCA who write schemes of work.
This term I am meant to be teaching this: www.standards.dfes.gov.uk/schemes2/it/itx2c/?view=get

I'm going to refuse. This scheme of work was written in 1998. I am not going to teach children about technology that was 5 years old when they were born.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:42, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

i am bored...
what would jesus do?
(g-rex, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:21, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ear Wax
Is it horrible, disgusting and rank or harmless and benevolent.

I go for the latter. I just went to scratch my ear, in the wee cup bit below your ear canal and there was what could only be described as a 'bean of wax' just resting in it. I gingerly picked it and and was quite proud, it was pretty big, and looked like fudge. Some folks get into a lather about ear wax, but fuck, it aint gonna kill ye.

I did get my ears syringed once with what looked like a pre-war cake icing thing..She filled it with lukewarm water, gave me a bevelled cup to hold under my ear and squirted away..I thought it was sloshing around my eyeball, and after a few seconds it became quite pleasant. when i looked in the cup it was like pineapple juice. What a difference it made though, i felt brilliant!!

So what should i do with the ear fudge, should i eat it, photograph it or ping it at the hatchet faced boot across from me?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 11:56, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just had a craving for a jam doughnut with lots of sugar on the outside.
It was a delightful thought, as I haven't had one for yeeeaaaaars, and I don't know where the thought wandered in from.

What are you craving?
Or talk about doughnuts.
Your choice.
(TheColonel, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 10:13, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think the Beach Boys are awesome
who's with me?


Feel like my throat and top of my lungs are operating at about 60% today. Not much fun.

How are you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 8:34, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This hurts me to say.
More than you can possibly comprehend.

Kaol was right. There, I said it.

Zombieland is fucking genius! I advise all to go and watch it, it'll be the best laugh you've had in a long time!

Alternatively, what film has scared you the most?
Mine is The Shining. Those little girls freaked the shit out of me for years!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 23:48, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good evening my fine folks
I hope everybody is good.

So what is everybody doing tonight?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 20:22, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I went for a run after work today.
Usually as I'm running my mind wanders to rude thoughts but today was different. I've been slowly progressing in my running abilities and it crossed my mind that maybe I could train to run a marathon.

Then I thought, well if I did do it then I should run for a charity. But which charity to chose from? There is no particular illness that has ravaged my family or anyone close so I was stumped for a while.

Then it hit me and I grinned like a loon.

If I did run for this charity then I'm sure my B3ta pals here would dig deep in their pockets and sponsor me for these poor souls.

www.nas.org.uk/

After all it's only fair.





And then I remembered I would have to give up drinking and I decided not to bother.
( girlinthehole, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 19:11, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HSH
I'm trying to make my Halloween costume of choice worksafe for Friday and am not sure I've succeeded.



What do you not agree with in the workplace?
( Maladicta, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 18:45, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm sitting in the dark
I'm not keen on this shorter day lark.

In other news I've successfully forwarded my port - hooray for me (everyone else seems to be posting computering questions so I thought I'd tell you all about how I fixed something myself with only the help of the power that is Google).

Now tell me what you do or don't like about this time of year.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 17:26, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What a sick story
www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/27/california.gang.rape.investigation/index.html?eref=onion

The statement at the end "some came to watch and even participated" is partiicularly disturbing
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 28 Oct 2009, 15:59, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)