So I've had a bad day at work
It's been absolutely fucking relentless, each time I've tried to catch up with something, some other fucker's come along and ruined my concentration and when I got it back, somebody else did exactly the same thing. For six fucking hours. I've got myself so stressed out and wound up that it feels like I'm in the bad stage of nicotine withdrawal all over again. Wah wah wah etc.

So tell me about the worst day you've had at work, the day when your entire world blew up in your face and pissed down your neck.
( Kroney, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 18:00, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Quick poll
I've noticed this over a period of time, but it strikes me that a lot of people on here smoke. drugs or cigarettes.

How many of you are there out there who do?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 16:13, 141 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What do you keep doing even though you know it's very bad for you? (Either mentally or physically).
Monty, you don't need to answer this.
( girlinthehole, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 15:31, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, would you look at that...
... the government actually grew a pair!

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8453560.stm
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:10, 119 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Complementary to becky's thread
what things have you seen, done or heard that you expected to hate and actually liked?

I watched a tv show called House of Saatchi (or something) the other day, about poncy modern artist twats competing to be in an exhibition for Charles Saatchi.

Expected it to be totally shit, but it was strangely engaging. One of the pieces of art was frankly beautiful, and some of the other stuff was so typically shit-modern-art that it was quite funny
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:33, 79 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Appease me while I'm full of lurgy and misdirected bile dear b3tans. Apparently recommending a tv show that you think someone may like is now bad and wrong mkay because it's popular
So instead of telling me how everything popular that the masses like is shit, how about you tell me what cult/niche things you don't like? From film, music or anything else you can think of that really grinds your gears and rankles you at the sight of it

I've never understood the appeal of Princess Bride. I've watched it a couple of times and I just don't find it funny.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:20, 103 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Righty-oh, I need some advice, from my favorite interneters.
As I'm sure you're all aware, there is a current International Credit Crunch going on, as such, finances are scarce and lacking at best. I wish to rectify this situation, on a personal level, and as such, require steady employment.

I *think* I'm going to be offered gainful employment with bare-but-true fiscal rewards, such as cash. This is a job at the cab office. I'm hoping to be given an IT role, as their head-honcho is moving on, but I have a feeling I'd also be doing what I was doing before, answering phones and doing a bit of controlling, but mostly answering phones. It's a short-term answer to a long-term problem, which never works in the long run. However, it'll get me out of a spot of bother.

I don't really want to do it, but It'll be good for now, and there isn't anything to stop me looking for other stuff in the mean-time.

What do you lot reckon?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 11:23, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Vip's post below about dreaming of his crush LiC
reminded me to congratulate LiC on his new acting role in the very lazy garlic adverts!


What do you think b3tans should advertise. Chompy and Bodyform are a match made in heaven I think
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 10:16, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mornin'

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 9:42, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning
had a pretty vivid dream last night which featured some b3tans. Most of the dream was about snowboarding, but Chickenlady and the Light in Chains happened to be there. I blame facebook for showing me what they look like.

also LiC: are you missing some fingers?

how's it going?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 9:17, 83 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well if we're just helping our friends' businesses
Here's the link to the animal shelter that's going to close unless they receive more donations from you, the animal loving public.

It's a really long freewebs address because there isn't enough money to buy a decent domain, so here's the bookmark I use.

alturl.com/8ebz
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 22:07, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey guys
a friend of mine has this software company, you should go and check out their website, you can get some really cool stuff and they would really appreciate your feedback on whether you like it or not.

Their page is here.

This isn't spam or anything. Just so you know.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 21:57, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all
just cooked a very successful cheat's potato dauphinoise and a delightful maple and mustard glazed chicken.

anyone about? what are you up to?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 20:12, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Expect /talk to get REALLY quiet
www.news.com.au/technology/worlds-first-life-size-robotic-girlfriend/story-e6frfro0-1225817805297
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 18:49, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Some of you may have seen this already
but I don't give a fuck, it's exciting
www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/11/the-a-team-trailer-bradle_n_418330.html
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 18:13, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

today is a good day
why you ask? well like him or not Chris Evans had his first breakfast show aired on radio 2, which means; porcine talent void Chris Moyles days are on Radio 1 are distinctly numbered.

what's perked up your day
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 17:46, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Birthday cake.........
have a slice of my delicious cake..........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 17:33, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How did we all miss this?
improveverywhere.com/2009/12/06/save-the-date-no-pants-2010/

Maybe the name needs changed a bit so no one goes a bit too far in London, but still....

Could we go one better?
( b3tz, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 16:26, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Jam Doughnuts
Somerfield jam doughnuts are much inferior to the ones from my local bakery. I had to eat 3 of them to confirm this. However, the local bakery doughnuts suffer from excess jam, a large glob of which has fallen on my 'q', 'w', 'a' and s keys and which will undoubtedly dry out to be incredibly sticky so that I am unable to type the word 'wasq'.

Give me your jam doughnut ratings here. Krispy Kremes are out of the picture as, deliciously amazing though they are, they aren't jam and I'm not craving them. Also they are expensive and difficult to obtain.

Please be so kind as to include brand, value for money, jam distribution, level of greasiness, sugar topography and taste. No Bob Marley jokes.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 16:13, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Quick question for the bibliophiles...
... and I know there's no shortage.

I'm trying to identify a book that was my favourite when I was very young, and which I've not seen for about 30 years. I can't remember much about it, except some of the text:

This is a dot, little and fine
Stretch it out, and now it's a line.
Bend it a bit, and what will it be?
The finest circle you ever did see...

I can't believe that that was the whole thing - even by the standards of children's books, that seems a bit thin.

Does it ring a bell with anyone else?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 15:34, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

25 Things That Make You Feel Like A Man
Just been sent this by a friend and thought that b3ta off-topic might enjoy it. OK, 50% of b3ta off-topic...
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 14:29, 141 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

After discussing it at the weekend with my BFF, I just found a copy of Shoot em up in my newsagent for 99p
Got back to my flat and the postie has been with my Bravissimo catalogue. CAN THIS DAY GET ANY BETTER?

Alternate question: what superhero death match would you like to see? You're allowed to make up superheroes if you like, but you have to state their power, weakness and what colour cape they wear. Why? Because I fucking said so.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 14:15, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I watched a Ross Noble standup gig on the television last night.
He was desperately unfunny, in an excruciating way. His entire oeuvre seems to consist of creating 'wacky', nonsensical situations of a kind of pseudo-surrealist nature.

Sample: 'wouldn't it be funny, like, if you had a specially designed massive haircut that you you could unfurl when you were in audience, just to annoy the people behind you? With a kind of pulley system?'.


I know the answer to this one. No, you horse-faced helmet, it would not. Not one bit. Not in the slightest.

Why is he regarded so highly as a standup? He struck me as a one-trick pony, whose one trick is, frankly, pony.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 13:55, 77 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Techno Help
Hello kind people,

I am far from a computer expert, but I've got a sneaking feeling in the back of my head that there is some way of getting to web pages that have been taken down. If there is, that would make me very happy. So I ask you, computer experts of b3ta, is there such a way, and if so, what is it?

Thanks.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 13:07, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why must people chew so fucking loudly?
Discuss
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 12:31, 93 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Dr Hook thread
Yes, we CAN fill a whole thread with our thoughts on Dr Hook, or some Dr Hook lyrics.
I'll start:
*deedle eedle eedle eeee, deedle eedle eedle eeeee*
^name the Dr Hook intro.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 11:35, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

pretty much 8======) you for no good reason over here right now.
Here is my top 10 songs with a "Woooo OoooOoooh" bit
- Bon Jovi - Living on a Prayer
- Feeder - Feeling the moment.
- U2 - Beutiful Day

... oh man, I can't complete my list, can YOU complete my list?

In other news: MORNING ! It's a great day, it's a lovely day, it's a productive day, what are you plans on a day like this?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 10:10, 145 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

pretty much hate you for no good reason over here right now

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 9:40, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning OT
I have a request.

I've managed to get my hands on some Duck, Venison and Pheasant. I have to cook them tonight, or they'll go to waste.

I'm considering a game pie of sorts. Any recommendations of other recipes? Or simply ways to make a game pie better?

Cheers!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 11 Jan 2010, 9:15, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)