Tell me how to make pasta again please?
Its around a year since I last made it. I know it goes in boiling water, but how long for if you want it tasting non soggy? I'll be adding pesto and cheese in large quantities so if it tastes shit it won't matter as much.

/run out of nice food emo
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:52, 56 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I blame you, B3ta!
I was on a meeting with my boss the Process Lead Engineer (PLE), the Mechanical Lead Engineer (MLE), the client and a couple of us Process Engineers. PLE and MLE are agreeing with the client on something, and the conversation goes like that:

MLE: I think I already wrote it like that in the spec.
PLE: Good, that's perfect.
MLE: In fact, I think I copied it from one of your Process documents.
PLE: I see, good.
MLE: Have I earned enough brownie points for you today? (looking at my boss)

Everybody laughed. I went blank and quiet; couldn't say another word until the break. It was then when markthebrewer explained that "brownie points" is an expression that exists outside B3ta and that, in fact, the MLE wasn't asking for anal sex to my boss.

When has B3ta intruded in your life far too much?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 2 Jun 2010, 16:18, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just responded to a Star Wars-themed text from a female friend
by asking her if she made a habit of showing off her small thermal exhaust port, right above the main port, and she LAUGHED

What have you done today which has made you immensely proud despite being unbelievably tragic?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 15:43, 106 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I can't have that paint drawing on the top of the screen every time I come here
I'm at work, you see?

So, I'm thinking on wearing something on this style:

cgi.ebay.com/VtG-70s-GUNNY-SAX-WEDDING-LACE-CORSET-Dress-xs-s-/160370052770?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Vintage_Women_s_Clothing&hash=item2556cccea2

What do you think?

EDIT: Oh, well, sorry Kristine, but thanks for taking the picture down :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 2 Jun 2010, 14:56, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*screams in excitement*
Robyn will be in DC in august!!!!!!! Oh fucking man, I'm totally hitting that shit right up.

What shit are you totally hitting right up?
alt. What would like more of but cannot have?
I'd quite like some Irn Bru. But it's all the way over there *points*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 14:52, 130 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

DERRICK BIRD TRIBUTE THREAD.
Birdy, you will be missed :¬(

MSPaint tributes only please.


( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 14:23, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

NEWS
news.bbc.co.uk/
if you're in cumbria stay indoors.

Has anyone seen the Newswipe about these killing sprees and how the media coverage actually increases the likelyhood of it happening.

So do you think the media are responsible?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 13:28, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm eating an egg mayo sandwich on brown bread
What you scoffing for lunch?

Alternatively, brown shoes with black trousers? Discuss
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 12:35, 153 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

this is just too repulsive for words
I know this isn't links, but tough titty.
www.pickmeupmagazine.co.uk/real_lives/Pick_Me_Up_Real_lives_I_breastfeed_my_dad_article_298453.html

I'm off for a quick vomit now.

Alt Question: who would you like to breast feed you? Some big boobed sleb, or someone closer to home?
( ascorbate, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:13, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who's guilty of pretending to be something they're not?
Many years ago I used to go out drinking with a couple of girls and we would chat to guys pretending to be a vet or doctor or tree surgeon. We would see how long we could keep up the charade until we were rumbled. Ah happy times.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 8:27, 253 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Al Gore and Tipper are separating for a divorce.
Though I don't exactly revel in the misfortune of others and have no particular animosity toward Al Gore, this little snippet made me giggle:

In the 2000 campaign interview, Tipper acknowledge Al had his faults. He once gave her a Weedeater for her birthday, but he learned to be more sensitive over the years, she said.

Maybe for her next birthday he gave her a Shop Vac for the housework?...

Ummmm... I know I need to ask a question... let's see... Ah!

Q: Would you choose to be immortal if it meant that the only music you would ever hear again would be the Bee Gees?
( Wanderer, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 4:06, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The last thread
was becoming difficult to navigate.

I hope no-one minds that I've started a new one. Links, late night shenanigans etc
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 23:39, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Incongruity
as I expounded badly learnedly on the epistles of St Jerome, Sweet Transvestite started playing on my Spotify despite me not remembering adding it.

What things haven't fitted together for you today?

Alt Q: Clubbing or doing something useful?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 19:39, 145 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right....
You've got £5k to go on holiday, anything you don't spend you can't keep, you _are_ allowed to do a 'shopping holiday' though, but anything you buy like that you have to be able to take home with you, eg, you can't chose your nearest car showroom as a 'holiday destination'. Or you can spend the whole thing doing something first class. This includes spending money.

Tell me details.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 16:57, 88 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ryanair have fucked up the booking I made back in January
Now two weeks before I fly, they've got in touch to say that I have made duplicate bookings and not seperate ones for me and the Mrs.

Total flight cost £54, total to change the name £100. No way to get it done on them, I must pay and appeal and I think we all know how that's going to work out.

Tits
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 14:39, 101 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I want to get a new piercing
And my options are thus:
Industrial
Nipples
Septum

What should I go for? What would YOU get?

AltQ: What's been your worst ever kiss?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 14:22, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Went to a BBQ yesterday
Weighed myself this morning and I was 2 kilos heavier than on Saturday. Most disappointing what with all the running I've been doing. However, had an almighty dump a bit later on this morning and am now itching to weigh myself again.

What other disgusting weight-loss methods can anyone recommend?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 13:15, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Surprise! It's my birthday
/neil from the Young Ones

so far nothing exciting, except the arrival of a new lens which I bought myself.

What do normal people do on their birthdays?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 11:54, 114 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm happy!
I had a fantastic weekend in Belgium. We went to visit some friends in Mons, where they were celebrating this party: www.world-heritage-tour.org/europe/benelux/belgium/belfries/doudou-festival-in-mons/sphere-flash.html

It was great fun. We drank a lot of good beer, we enjoyed the great weather, we danced, and run, and shouted and took thousands of pictures. All in all, one of the best weekends I’ve ever had.

Of course, my diet went to the bin. I have to start from the beginning, but ey, it’s not every weekend that one gets engaged, eh? Ah, I didn’t mention that? Yes! Markthebrewer asked me to marry him on Friday and I said yes! Now I have a very big ring on my finger (I’m very conscious of it, as I never wear any jewellery) and an even bigger grin on my face.

I don’t really have a question, just wanted to share. My parents don’t know anything yet, so please, no comments on Facebook.

I’m happy!!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 1 Jun 2010, 10:35, 139 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I failed to give a blood sample for the bone marrow clinic yesterday
on account of my "teeny tiny delicate veins". So there goes my ambition to be a smackhead.

What dreams of yours have recently been crushed? Or conversely, realised?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:45, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, Ms Becky's starting her new job today
and to keep her busy I've spent the night in central London, stabbing kittens.

What are you, Becky's unwashed minions, doing to celebrate this momentous occasion?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 9:26, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have a boring house related conundrum
I rent a flat in Manchester. The flat next door to mine has been repossessed and is now on the market for £150k. It was originally sold 10 years ago for £160k and the last selling price (albeit before the housing crash) was £270k. It's bigger than mine, so with a bit of cosmetic surgery it would be worth much more than £150k.

However, to be able to put an offer in, I would need to the flat I own in Blackburn on the market and it would need to sell almost instantly. I only need £15k out of it to be able to afford the deposit, so I could put it on at a reduced price and hope that it sells quickly. However, the longer it is on the market for sale, the longer it goes without a tenant, leaving me paying for two houses.

And to add a moral question to it, if I put mine on the market cheaply, I'm undercutting my own sister by £10k, because her flat is on the market now and is 20 feet away.

What would you do?

If that's too boring for you, what's the best and worst thing that happened to you this weekend? Points for nudity.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Jun 2010, 8:46, 73 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woo, I've found that I can access my gazzes on here, merely by archiving the 5000 odd gazzes I had received.
What have you found you now have access to by deleting or archiving stuff that you didn't need?

Alt Q: What colour are your pants today?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:44, 154 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Vindicated by Romans.
Reading Seneca's letters to Lucilius today, I came across a passage that succinctly summarises my attitude to popular culture:

'...you may scorn the pleasures that come from the majority's approval. The many speak highly of you, but have you really any grounds for satisfaction with yourself if you are the kind of person the many understand?'

So nerr, populists. In other news, I had no idea that Herman Goering was a lifelong morphine addict.

Did you know that? Do you have a surprising or interesting factoid you can share about a figure from history? Another one I have is that supposed poster-boy for 'small man syndrome' Napoleon Bonaparte was not remarkably short for his time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 May 2010, 16:07, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Amazing. Since the ex hubby and I broke up,
his sister and I have become quite close. We were never close. We've done coffee a couple of times, and lunch once.
Tonight I was telling her about my recent troubles with the ex boyfriend and the other stuff. And she wants to take me out to lunch tomorrow.

Am I just lucky?

Alt Q: For the ladies - how often do you use your vibrator?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 31 May 2010, 10:21, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone around?
Back at Uni now, food fair was lovely and nommish, got to try some extremely nice Iberico ham (the acorn fed stuff), but couldn't convince my mum to spend £200 for a leg of it :P
Now have all the ingredients to do a paella later in the week too :D

What have you lot been up to this weekend?

AltQ: What's the poshest thing you've ever seen, done or eaten?
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Sun 30 May 2010, 23:16, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I laughed my arse off at this.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZthGdjGX0E

2 litres of ginger - the Honda Accord of carbonated drinks.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 May 2010, 18:43, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oooo new songs
www.myspace.com/dumberthantheaveragebear

Loser Blues, Megatron and Ska Face are the best ones.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 30 May 2010, 17:43, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Argh!
I've been well and truly beaten up by the wine monkey. The bastard ambushed me last night and subsequently my head hurts like a motherfucker.

Any other casualties out there and what's your tale of woe?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 30 May 2010, 12:07, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)