apologies for megaboring question
Off to Cornwall with the BF on Saturday and taking my dog - staying for a week unless we kill each other first...... Hints and tips about where to go and what to avoid please.....staying just outside Bude.
Cheers guys
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 10:37, 120 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Things you've found out.
Catface and I would have been getting married this weekend except two weeks after booking the venue we found out I was knocked up.

Other things I have found out this year include:
- being pregnant is not one of my natural talents
- selling things on ebay is easy and lucrative (I made £70 on my first attempt. Before that I thought it was too much hassle to be bothered).
- online grocery shopping is totally win and means I never have to get headhurtingly irate at slackjawed Tesco trollypushers anymore.

What have you found out this year?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 9:25, 128 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've been told I can't talk about my looks, relationships or my ex.
So.......................................what's everyone having for breakfast?
( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 8:32, 158 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just got back from a few drinks at work
What the fuck is your fucking problem, you fucking bunch of fucking fucks?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 20:55, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Job opportunity
My office is looking for some students to help with some work:

All,

The **** data collection team in Leeds are currently undertaking traffic surveys throughout Manchester and require temporary staff to help out next Wednesday and also on Sunday 20th June. The work is part of a framework they have with Manchester City Council so there are likely to be further opportunities in the future within Manchester.

Enumerators are paid at £6.50 per hour and will have to be able to get to sites in and around Manchester.

If you know anyone who could be interested in working with the data collection team (for example students or anyone who has spare time and wants a bit more spending money) or want anymore information speak to Phil Steward in Leeds.

So, if any of you is interested, let me know.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 8 Jun 2010, 15:36, 160 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

We have a new health and safety thermometer in our office
currently it is 26 degrees Centigrade or 80 degrees fahrenheight.

Is it just me or is that ridiculously hot?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 14:58, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How awesome is
my hand painted festival flag? Painted bit is A3 sized, cheers to the University of Scouseland, their printers and especially their shelvers

Alt Q - what alcohol should I bring to a metal festival for most fun?
( djtrialprice, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 14:35, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just been offered a new job with a substantial enough payrise to allow me to upgrade my lifestyle from "cheese on toast" to "croissant"
and I wanted to share this with, well, bloody everybody.

What beltingly good news have you had lately?

Alt Q - If you threw a menagerie of animals off a cliff, which would make the most entertaining noise as it fell out of earshot? I've got a feeling the sloth's been saving something special for just such an occasion
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 13:17, 113 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I discovered something fantastic!
When the bf is a bit tipsy, I only have to point at him and ask "Who is the dancing queen?" For him to start dancing. Brilliant.

Which awesome power do you have?

And ok, it's about time so, what are you having for lunch?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 8 Jun 2010, 13:14, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't know how to pack!
How the hell am I supposed to get enough clothes, food, supplies and alcohol to last me a week into one fairly small rucksack? Help?
Someone come and do it for me, please? :( Or shall I sack off the clothes and wear nothing but a bikini for a week, hence opening up more space for food and alcohol?

Yes, I know I'm useless.

Alt q: Have you ever streaked or been skinny dipping?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 11:56, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I saw The Killer Inside Me last night
It was really boring. Quite a few people walked out because of the wife-beating scenes, they were pretty graphic.

Have you ever walked out of the cinema? I walked out of Hostel to go and vomit because it was gross.

Alt Q: have you ever been beaten up? Or did you do the beating?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 11:19, 115 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Optimism!
Enough internet misery! Today is going to be fucking great, I can feel it. What do you do to make your day better?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 9:15, 175 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bloody pigeons
On Saturday, after the beer festival, I was silly enough to start playing with one of mark's friends, who is easily 2.798 times my size. As I result, I ended up in the floor, half crying, and with a massive scratch all over my leg.

It's been quite painful (more like an itchy feeling all the time) so I haven't managed to get sleep easily, as my leg hurts if it touches anything.

To top it up, a stupid pigeon has decided to nest in front of mark's bedroom, and it starts shouting/crying/whatever they do, but it's not singing at 4am.

I haven't slept properly for 3 days, and my eyes are very red and won't stop crying. I feel awful.

What is making you unhappy today?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 8 Jun 2010, 7:59, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Comfort food.
Last night, a bunch of us went over to a friends house to get shitfaced after receiving the bad news, and someone hit on the bright idea of frying burritos.

You can buy frozen burritos for something like 10 for $3, defrost them in the microwave and then fry them. It's sounds totally disgusting, but they're actually really, really great, especially with hot sauce.
I have now added them to my late night snack/comfort food repertoire (which also includes grilled cheese sandwiches, cold rice pudding and mac & cheese).

What's your favourite comfort food?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 19:52, 142 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What in the fucking FUCK?
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/pounds-for-pounds-scheme-helps-obese-people-shed-stones-1993285.html

So these walking, ok shuffling whales will be paid to do what should be natural to them. Lose weight and look fucking normal?

Fucked off of North London
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 19:50, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh boy.
Last time you called someone a dumbass?
About five minutes ago for me. omglongstory in replies
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 18:35, 57 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A good present?
Markthebrewer has always liked tattoos, and asked me a few times to have one done (as well as re-opening my belly button piercing). I quite like them too and the only reason why I haven’t done it it’s because I’m a coward.

I was thinking I could get one as a wedding or engagement present (I don’t know about your culture, am I suppose to give him an engagement present?) something sexy, probably on the side, under my belly, just high enough to be partially covered by my knickers/low trousers/bikini.

I’ve never done anything like this, so I ask for advice. Will it look ok from the beginning or do I have to give it a few days to look good? Does it hurt more or less if I have it done in colour? Is it worth to have a temporary one done until I’m sure I want it?

And for the mothers and fathers there, do you think if I ever get pregnant it’ll look awful and deformed? Should I have it done somewhere else?

Thank you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 16:14, 77 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

London B3tans (or close to) only.
My dear brother has fucked up again, and couldn't get a babysitter for tonight. What does this have to do with me, you ask? Well, I'd brought the asshole 2 tickets to go see Bon Jovi at the O2 arena tonight, and they are going spare, free, gratis, whatever. It goes against my ethos to waste tickets, so I'd rather give them away than have empty seats. You can pick the tickets up in Central London, and go there for nowt. Any takers?
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:56, 132 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Even on my birthday. Bastards!
Emails coming in asking if I want to improve my tiny dick!
How the fuck did they find out?
And they're telling all their friends so they can mail me too.

What surprising thing has the internet let on about you?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 14:32, 98 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For some ungodly reason my work are holding an 80's-themed casual dress day on Wednesday
I need outfit suggestions. Preferably ones that can be made of clothes I already own and that don't require money to be spent
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 13:24, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Since TGB's not around...

What are you cunts having for lunch today?

Edit: seriously? None of you know dave the facts? Since I must be the only one here who's been around for more than two years, I'll explain;
In the olden days a user called the Duke of Prunes and a girl called Flowerpot would post a 'Dave the Facts' lunch thread every day, usually it contained some zany, but amusing made up fact about Dave the Hat (another old user) bending straight bananas and suchlike. They would respond to every reply with a hearty 'braw! Have chips with that'
I apologise sincerely for this going over all your heads, you useless shitcunts
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:42, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

rage against the machine
who else was there? i rocked so hard i pooped a little. amazing gig. worth every second of ballache getting home, and the hilarity of catching, on film, about 100 people singing 'we are the champions' at a bemused yet impassive cordon of police on horses outside finsbury park tube just topped it off.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 12:16, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, it's June.
It's 6 months into the New Year, AKA half way through.

How did your resolutions hold up? (If you can't remember what you told us, there's a thread here

Did you fail? Succeed? Don't give a fuck?

ALT Q: What's the most exciting thing to happen so far this year?
ALT ALT Q: When was the last time you were terrified?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 11:50, 115 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

MEN!
you are all the same!

discuss, with bonus points for good examples either proving or disproving my theory.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:20, 246 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Weekend blues
I'm pretty sure that the lump of concrete that fell on both my feet on Saturday broke a bone or two in my left one. It was about the size of a paving slab and hurt like buggery. What runined or made your weekend extra special?

Alt Q. Should I go to casualty and get an X-ray? I Can just about walk on it, and my toes still work.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 7:56, 123 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And in other news...........
It's my birthday today. 51. But that's not the best part.
It's also my 24th wedding anniversary.
Thank the fates for patient women with low expectations and even lower standards.

Alt Q. What pisses you off most about birthdays as your year tally increases?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 7 Jun 2010, 7:50, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fucking hell.
Just got the word that one of our group took his own life today. Sorry for lack of funnies, but we're all in a bit of a state of shock.

Totally unexpected.

:(
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 6:00, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My head is done in. I've got a shitload of studying to do and i can feel the prevarication monkey breathing down my neck.
CPD can kiss my arse.

Alt Q: If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 6 Jun 2010, 10:02, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A trillion fucking dollars spent on a fucking war to
masturbate George Bush's tiny penis envy ego instead of putting this money into finding some sort of energy besides feeding the purses of his fucking masters who run the oil companies. Here is an interesting link to a live feed of the latest 'fix" to the BP well:

www.bp.com/liveassets/bp_internet/globalbp/globalbp_uk_english/incident_response/STAGING/local_assets/html/Skandi_ROV2.html

Here are some more links:

www.bp.com/genericarticle.do?categoryId=9033572&contentId=7062605

For what it is worth, I send my apologies to whomever cares for the fucking shit we are doing to everyone else and our environment.

Conversely: what do you think of the latest weather?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 3:19, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello guys
I just came back from the beer fest. I had a lot of beer, I'm very drunk and I feel so far from home now. There are so many things I miss and so many people I'd like to hug.

B3ta feels a bit like home, somehow.

A lot of things I'd like to say, but I'd probably regret it in the morning, but a big, massivly drunky hug for all of you!

How are you doing?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Sun 6 Jun 2010, 0:39, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)