I found an on-line picture of Monty as a baby.
thechive.com/2010/07/20/its-a-hard-knock-life-for-us-14-photos/tough-mad-kids-7/
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:47, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm useless at finding things on the internet
How difficult can it be to find a couple of second hand shops that sell wedding dresses around Manchester? If you're me, very difficult.

What are you useless at?

Alt.Q: Have you watched Inception yet? It's great!

Edit: I'm so sorry, Gonz, so sorry. There was nothing when I started to type.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:27, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This made me 'wowzers', and note they're + signs between each one, not commas.
www.visualeconomics.com/what-bp-could-have-bought-with-all-the-money-they-lost/

I'm just posting a new message 'cus I'm lacking in attention, my guts are all like OH WOE IS ME today, sad sad times.

Got a really exciting project going live this week, hopefully, *glees*, it even has proper printed advertisment and stuff !

Alt Subject: What is the best thing anyone has done for you?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 14:26, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why do people have children?
Do you have kids? If so, why did you have kids?
Do you want kids? Why?
Do you not want kids?

Alt q: Where do you buy your underwear?
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 21 Jul 2010, 13:18, 139 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I'm being best man at a wedding on Saturday
And haven't really bothered to finish my speech yet, so there's plenty of time to add things in. Your suggestions please for words to try and shoehorn in there somewhere.

Alt Q: What would make an amusing wedding present?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 12:50, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Surreal.
I know this artist:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-10710074
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:35, 186 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You lot should be worrying..
..about this proposed new law.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 11:10, 79 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I cut my commute from 30 minutes down to 22 minutes today!
anyone else had a minor victory of this sort recently?

alternatively, what has made you cry pathetically this week? I had to get shoes for the baby yesterday as he's walking now, and the box the shoes came in made me weep in a feeble manner. He's growing up TOO FAST.
( ascorbate, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 10:26, 196 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wake up Boo!
Morning all, sorry to assume the position of croissant eater but hurrah! It is payday, we got a full bonus, I placed an epic order with Amazon for loads of lovely stuff to read, watch and listen to and this weekend will be spent shopping for me and the house, good times.

Tell me why all is well with the world your end today
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 8:14, 268 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So how does this work then?
I mean, really?
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 21 Jul 2010, 7:56, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's the GENERIC EVENING THREAD !
Alright there?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 18:21, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

All hail Donkey gums
Creator of the rapey-squid
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 15:20, 254 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Would you...

change your name to Horatio Fudgemountain for 23,000ukp?
(fibonacci_cunt cunt, cunt, cuntcunt, cuntcuntcunt,..., Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:38, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My Nan
Died this morning, what are good funeral songs?

Alt Q: What are inappropriate funeral songs?
(Psymon_Spark Jesus Saves! The rest of you take 4d6 damage, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 14:29, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Niggling annoyances for the day
People who stop at the top of escalators
People who stop in front of barriers then start hunting for their oyster or ticket
People who stop on a crowded pavement to exclaim over something insignificant like a building or some dogshit
People who drive like cunts and then act like its your fault when they go into the back of you
People..share yours

If you must have another question, what's the best independent film you've ever seen and why?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 13:43, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think some cunt's changed the sensitivity of my mouse to "startled bumblebee"
knowing that I'm too much of an IT mong to change it back. Was planning on having a few jars at lunch as well. This is going to severely limit my afternoon productivity.

What badly-timed pranks have you been subject to lately?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 12:30, 93 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yesterday, I helped a nice Japanese girl at the train station
by carrying her big heavy bag all the way up the stairs, helping her onto the train and then back off again when we got to our destination.
This morning I rescued a poorly bumblebee who had got stuck by my window last night, and it's filled me with an enormous sense of well being.
However, I also recently told a girl that I really like that she is a 'fat version of my ex, but with eye make up that makes her look like a retarded Panda'.

When was the last time you did something awfully nice? Or alternatively, suggest ways to cure me of being the rampaging cock hole that I am.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 10:40, 203 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As I sit here, grateful that I have a job for the Summer, I can't help feel that this is the worst Summer job I have ever had.
What's the worst thing you have ever been employed to do and how long did you stick it out?

alt q: can you suggest any alternate jobs for a hairy anti social 28 year old?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 10:32, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello, good morning and welcome.
I have a slight dilemma.

My brother is driving up to see our grandmother on Saturday and has asked if I’d like to come too. My mother is now pressurising me to go because she thinks I may not get the chance again. As far as I can tell she doesn’t like visitors or really doing anything any more. She doesn’t answer the phone and is basically waiting out her time in a home in Nottingham (poor sod). My mother went up last week and was roundly ignored, my grandmother spent her time looking at her watch and sighing, and pretended to fall asleep so her visitors would fuck off sharpish.

I am DJing on Friday night following a 50hr week. I won’t get home ‘til 3:30 am – and would have to leave my house at 8 to make the 1.5h journey to my brother’s, to get the 2.5h lift to see someone who probably will want rid of us in a few minutes.

Am I a lazy, shit grandson for not wanting to go?

Alt Q: do you want a fucking fight?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Jul 2010, 8:55, 142 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Um guys
stick on BBC 1.

I think they are about to do a story about Ed.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 19 Jul 2010, 19:40, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My mother in law lived with her mother as a full time carer.
Just before Christmas I told the lovely people on OT that her brother assaulted her, my wife and my then 18 months old child, he was given two cautions. Shortly after this her mother died. My mother in Law moved back in with her husband now that her mother wasn't around to care for. When she went round to get her stuff from her mothers house she found all the locks changed. We told her to break in but she decided to ask the solicitor. The solicitor was useless as fuck. He requested a key from her brothers solicitors. They said no. She got a locksmith of her own, went down there and got the door opened to find all her belongings, clothes, photographs etc. were all gone. She called the police who told her they can't arrest him as he had every right to be in the property and unless she has photographic evidence of the insides of her wardrobe there is nothing they can do. The useless fuck of a solicitor said "This is a theft now, I can't deal with that"

So what would you do? Besides take a bat to the woman/baby beating, thieving cunt of a brother.

Alt question, have you ever been robbed or robbed someone?
( Peej, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 16:41, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

More good news!
I just talked with my boss and he's ok with me taking 3 months off at the end of November. Yay!

I'm so happy that another drop of happines could make me burst in a explosion of rainbows! And I'm going home in 10min.

I don't know, do you need a question? Can't you just be happy without it? Well, in that case, which one is your favourite colour? would you wear a suit on that colour? When?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 19 Jul 2010, 16:14, 83 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have Becky on ignore as she is like well mean so I can't read the thread she just posted
Instead, what film shall I watch as I am all sunburnt so should stay inside a bit?

I bought Madagascar for £2 the other day on a whim, will I regret this? Should I go all actiony and watch Green Zone, or to celebrate JEff Bridges shall I watch Tron?

Alternatively should girls with big boobs wear boob tubes?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 15:14, 110 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cunting flying ants have invaded this bus and there's still half an hour til I get to my destination
What would you like to destroy with fire right now?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:41, 146 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm off on my holiday in 3 1/2 weeks.
I had planned on losing some weight for the trip but I can't seem to muster the willpower.

Everyone needs to remind me what a sad old loney cunt I am and then I might get depressed enought to go off my food.

Help!
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 12:49, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ey!
I just got the wedding invitations! They're very pretty, with a lot of detail on the sunflowers, I love them!

On the no so bright side, I'm waiting for an email from my father. We talked on the phone yesterday, and he's never very chatty, but yesterday it went like this (with long pauses before any of his lines):

Dad: what's your email address?
Me: same as always: [email protected]

Dad: are you sure?
Me: yes

Dad: is it the same as always?
Me: yes, it is, you have it, you've sent me emails there

Dad: I don't remember it, how do you spell it?
Me: *spells*

Dad: sure?
Me: yes, why?

Dad: I'm going to send you an email
Me: ah

Dad: sure it's right?
Me: yes, why? what are you telling me on the email?

Dad: you'll see when you read it
Me: OK

(silence)

Me: Is it good or bad?
Dad: you'll see when you read it
Me: ok

(silence)

Dad: I'm going to send you the email
Me: ok
Dad: bye
Me: bye

So here I am, waiting for his emai... which he hasn't sent yet.

What are you waiting for this morning?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 19 Jul 2010, 10:33, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all!
How was your weekend?

Mine was superb, had a nice night out Friday with some friends, got very drunk for free, always a bonus.

Saturday was my friends leaving party (She's off to Singapore on Friday), and it went off without a hitch. We ended up drinking pretty much every shot the Baa Bar sells, always good. Ended up heading back to Congleton, where I met some old mates, decided to get an early night, as I had something to do the next day. Crawled into bed at 3:10am.

Sunday - My family and I were having a photoshoot done, as a birthday present for my Dad. Due to traffic, and the directions I had going insane, we got lost, and ended up being quite late. Was entertaining though, and although I know the photographer was trying to really get us into it, it was just too funny to take seriously. Was nice seeing the family though, we don't get together often.

How were your weekends?

Alt Q: What is your hangover cure? Mine is Marmite on toast, magnificent. Alternatively, BACON!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 9:26, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ohhhhhhhh what a beutiful mooooorn-ning, ohhhh what a buetiful day.
It's going to be a good week this week, I feel it in my loins, it's the kindda week where Shit Gets Sorted.

Cah'mon everyone ! Let's make this week the best week of our lives evah in the entire world no universe !

Tell me, how are you gonna PWN fait this week and 1UP your awesomeness?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 9:23, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Raoul Moat

I told the silly bugger not to shoot himself but it went in one ear and out the other....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 5:40, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)