That thread's a bit dead
I was just accidentally homophobic to a tutor. I said I was gay-positive, and then amended that to 'gay not HIV' carrying on a joke from last gay-drinks. Sadly I forgot she hadn't been there, so what she heard was just a horrible stereotype falling from my lips. What stupid things have you done recently?

Alt: I'm saving my energy for tomorrow, so I'm in tonight. What's everyone else doing?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 19:28, 137 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good morning class
Now, we have a new girl starting today. She is a little shy and she's come from one of the other schools near here. Her name is Juan Quar

I want you all to be nice to her and.....PsychoChomp, fingers out of noses please ........... show here where things are. I've told her the rules and she's hung her coat up.

Big Girls Blouse, would you look after her please? Show here where the toilets are and where to go at lunch time. Also let her know not to go behind the bike sheds with Burt.

I hope you are all going to look after her.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 17:19, 97 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

BOOKS!
I'm currently reading "Journey Through Britain" by John Hillaby, an account of his walk from Land's End to John O'Groats where he subsists mainly on cider and pies. I'd love a bit of that. What are you reading and why is it good/shit?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 16:01, 166 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That's over 100 replies
What would you like to ban from offtopic?

I mean memes not people, I think the dutch steve thing is shit and I also don't like being called a rapist.

What do you hate?

Alt: Who sung this?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:50, 171 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Which country (other than the one in which you currently reside) would you be prepared to live in?
Why? Or if the answer is 'nowhere else', why is that?

(yes, I'm considering doing a runner)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:52, 122 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

we've done weekends. so what's for lunch?
i am thinking of going to sainsburys for a giant-cous-cous salad with feta and chillis, and monster munch with pesto topped houmous.

alt q: "would you rather" questions. the grimmest you can think of. starting with: "would you rather rim your grandmother's musky ass or nibble your grandfather's salty balls" ?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:11, 162 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

In the last few days
I have finally lost the last of my xmas weight, diagnosed and fixed a problem with my computer, fixed a problem with my ipod, cleaned and fully restocked my fridge, and have been looking (dare I say it) pretty damn awesomely stylish and sexy.

If my smug levels rise any further, I may need to take up croissant eating.

What have you done lately to make you feel smug?

Alt Q: In dealing with both PC World and Apple, I was surprised by the fantastic level of service I received. Smash some stereotypes. Go on, I dare you!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:11, 14 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

bored of that
So I have an exciting weekend planned. DO YOU?!?!?!?! Although I have to spend time with people like Wooks which will probably suck.

Non weekend Alt Q: If you could be a character in a film who would you be? I'd quite like to be Jaws (the Bond baddie not the shark) *nom nom nom*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:28, 228 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning reprobates
I'd like to table an addition to the vaguely recent pet hates thread and less recent "words and phrases which wind you the fuck up" thread with a brilliant example of sarcasm from David Mitchell. Last night on 10 O'Clock Live he was interviewing a couple of political types about the proposed referendum on voting reform. Some woman whose name I couldn't be bothered to memorise because she wasn't sufficiently lengthworthy to warrant such effort on my part claimed that "this change would mean that MPs would literally get a rocket up their backsides". Mitchell just looked at her witheringly and intoned "literally?"

Another great example was a couple of years ago during some rugby match when the commentator inferred that the Irish team knew the eyes of a nation were literally upon them, which does at least make for an entertaining idea for a David Cronenbourg film. What else gets said by morons that pisses you right off?

Alt Q - driving music. I'm compiling a playlist for a forthcoming drive to Blackpool and am open to suggestions, which will be rated and (mostly) sumarily dismissed.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 8:23, 253 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well it's so lively here, I'm going to put some dinner on!
I'd ask what you're all doing, but I'm guessing you're all off doing stuff.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 20:56, 131 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm going to bake my first cake from scratch tonight.
Reading that sentence back seems like it shouldn't make sense.
Anyway, any baking advice for me?

alt: Favorite historical event or time period?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:30, 21 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

To end the day, how about an inappropriate joke thread?
I heard a new favourite the other day -

What's pink and smells of Holly? Ian Huntley's cock.

How about you lot, what is your worst?

Alt Q: Up to much tonight?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:04, 60 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm bored.
Entertain me. I don't care how. Just do it.

Alt: You'll get an alt Q as a reward for suitably entertaining me.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 15:41, 183 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

OMG!
Jeff has been convicted of skinning his victims!
He's a fidopeel!

And in other news, what was your very favourite childhood toy?
I loved my hoop and stick, it went for miles.
I got lost once playing with it.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 14:38, 140 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

OK, three word thread
like we had a while ago. What is happening at this very moment where you are? In three words - GO!

Coffee swearing email
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 13:41, 202 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Dead Thread is Dead.
If you could invite 4 people to dinner, living or dead, who would you dine with?

Alt: Tell me about the divvy kid from school.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 11:20, 178 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Vote for the new QOTW
There's a vote on /board for next week's question.

HERE

THAT IS ALL
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

What's your favourite word in a foreign language?
Mine's probably 'pamplemousse'. 'Grapefruit' is a dull and misleading name for it but 'pamplemousse' just sounds fantastic.

alt: do you buy a newspaper? If so, which one and why?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 9:54, 69 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm going to see Mogwai on Sunday.
What are you bummers doing this weekend?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 8:22, 65 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm trying to re-write my resume and a cover letter.
I had an interview on tuesday for a pathology internship over dec/january at one of the local hospitals - and I have no idea if either of my documents are okay.
Any tips folks?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:39, 34 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've bought a tankini for my holidays.
From someone who wouldn't go on the beach without a burkha a few years ago, this is A BIG THING.

What's the bravest thing you've done recently.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 18:51, 258 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I was called 'cheap and pikey' for admitting I like to cook
How do you let yourself down?

Have you got a fondness for Space Raider crisps or is your guilty pleasure a shit TV?

Alt: What radio station do you listen to and why?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 16:26, 166 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread for no discernable reason other than crippling boredom
Inspired by my pathetic attempt to glean personal information which is none of my filthy pigdog business from RSwipe, what would you like to know about your fellow B3tans? Use this forum as an opportunity to put your question to whoever you like. The worst that can happen is that they tell you to fuck the fuck off.

Alt Q - Greatest Oscar travesty. Chariots of Fire, best picture? Over RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK?! Fuck off
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:25, 202 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Why don't you all suck him off eh?
This has made me angry, www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1355823/NHS-Direct-How-headset-monkey-replace-GP-receptionist.html

What's made you blah blah oh fuck off
(PsychoChomp, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 13:58, 90 replies, latest was 15 years ago)