I'm having a Monty day
As in I hate everything and everyone. Please put forward your cases for me not hunting you down in your sleep and shaving off your eyebrows, drawing cocks on your face/neck and then brutally killing you and selling your still warm corpse to Chompy for him to have his way with it.

I'm afraid the court cannot accept cases from a Mr A Antichrist.

Q: Do you feel lucky?
Alt Q: Are you a punk?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:08, 124 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning Campers
Right then, with the warrant for Gaddafi’s arrest issued yesterday, who’s your favourite dictator? I bagsy Pol Pot, ‘coz he’s got the funniest name. And ‘coz my little boy likes skulls...

Alt: On the Foxtrot Scale of bendidity, where 0=non-quendy and 10=screamer, who is the campest celebrity you can think of?
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 28 Jun 2011, 9:01, 74 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning wasters, drop outs and ner-do-wells.
What does today hold for you?

I shall do some work purely out of guilt that I did bugger all yesterday.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 8:15, 49 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A mighty dullness has descended upon B3TA
Some aggression has occurred.

A very half-hearted meatpuppet of Blaireau has struggled to raise it's head above the parapet.

There's not many nights these days that I can participate but tonight I can.

Anyone want a mangle? A Steamroller?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 22:39, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well that last thread seemed to end badly.
Why not have a nice natter instead?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 20:29, 75 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello, I'm Noel.
I've got beer, sausages and a fair amount of smug. What've you got?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 18:29, 121 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Serious thread!
Cruncho's complaining about cheerleading being symptomatic of a misogynistic society. So my question is, at what point does it stop being chauvinism and start being legitimate recognition of physical differences in gender?

Certainly men would be capable of the gymnastics you'd see from cheerleaders, for example, but nobody could possibly be serious in suggesting that mixed football teams would be a good idea.

Don't worry, if this thread ends up being too boring, we'll just go back to making fun of B3th's marriage.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 15:53, 182 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Physical Activity
What do you do to keep fit?
Anything that's out of the norm?

I had a blast in the bouncy castle on saturday. Then I played softball on sunday. I'm not fit [duh], my body is screaming today, but I quite liked it, and we're planning to do it often.

Anything you'd like to try? Acrobatics? Gymnastics? Etc?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 14:58, 125 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lusty and I were watching the tee-vee last night,
and saw a trailer for some 'Ask Attenborough' thing where you can ask David Attenborough questions. This sparked a 'what indeed would you ask him?' debate.

The best I could come up with was 'what was it like making Jurassic Park?'

Can you best this LOLarious witticism? I should fucking hope so.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 13:27, 128 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What do you believe in?
Flying saucers/God/Aliens/Ghosts.

Take your pick.

Question inspired by www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/ufo/8599547/UFOs-spotted-over-London.html

Alt: Where do people who believe in things you don't score on the Foxtrot Scale.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 12:35, 81 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread time
So how many of you who were complaining last week about it being too rainy and shit are now complaining that it's too hot?

Weather, eh?

Alt: Why are people never fucking happy?

I dunno, lunch or something.
( Kroney, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:32, 120 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I once pretended to believe in God in order to sleep with a female lady girl
What low depths have you sunk to in order to sleep with another human being.

Alt. Who is the biggest cunt in the music industry not including the obvious like Bono and Cowell and why?
( Peej, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 9:45, 196 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Chinese girls wearing short shorts
Monday isn't so bad.
(McChinaman banned, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 8:04, 72 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Scorchio.
It's so hot...
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 22:03, 91 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

For breakfast, I had a wild boar burger
As I type this, I'm about to go and sit in the garden, have a few ciders, and chill out.

How is your Sunday going? Yes, YOU.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 10:52, 188 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Because it's what he would have wanted
Alright?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 0:45, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I recently created a google map for my son and I to attempt later in the year on a visit to London
maps.google.co.uk/maps/ms?msa=0&ie=UTF8&z=9&msid=200330796718133077900.0004a671fde5c4bb2004f

Is there anything cool we could check out along the way?

Alt: You're stuck on a chain gang, what song keeps you going in the heat as the hammer hits the rocks?

Alt Alt: What's the drunkest you've ever got?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 23:07, 127 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

SAURDAY NIGHT!
rock out, with your cock out


no pics please
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 18:42, 314 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

May I just point out
that Oct 1st is a fucking SATURDAY. Stupid fucking calendar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 12:56, 110 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I go away for half an hour and when I come back, everyone's gone for a wank.
I call Saturday afternoon generic chat thread. Feel free to NOT tell me about your wanking.

Alt: grand prix qualifiers: yes or no?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 25 Jun 2011, 12:23, 13 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

First day of being unemployed
and I have a horrific hangover.

How would you start this momentous first day of the rest of your life?
( djtrialprice, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 8:21, 112 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The Warring Gods
My short story The Warring Gods is now online.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 4:08, Reply)

Friday night natter and disco!
GO! GO! GO!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 21:43, 135 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Awkward moments...

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 21:27, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

RIGHT
b3ta.com/calendar/event/23658

COME ON YOU CUNTS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 18:06, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Right
After an internet-free month or so, I'm back. Cornwall was great fun but didn't work out in the end - mostly because the tourist season hasn't really got into gear yet. I'm back in Suffolk for a while, but I'll be returning to Cornwall sometime in the middle of August.

What's actually happened here?
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 17:07, 64 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Don't you just hate it when some cunt starts a thread and then fucks off?
Well, I'm off to the pub now. Have a lovely weekend, everyone.

Except Sportscow. The bender.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:28, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Right you lot.
I've not been here much recently, so please sum up this week's fun and games on Off Topic in five words or less, and tell me about your favourite something something something.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:59, 181 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Boooorrrrrreeeedddddddd
I am so, so bored. All my staff have gone to the pub. I've loads to do but instead I've eaten four bags of Hula Hoops just for the lolz.

Shall I eat some more Hula Hoops, do you think?

I would like to say thank you to the new folk who've given /OT a whirl over the past couple of weeks. Good show. You should all come to my (and Stunned's and Lampers' etc) bash on October 1st. It's not a trap, honest.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:45, 190 replies, latest was 15 years ago)