Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Alright?What's made you laugh recently?
Alt: On the radio this morning they were saying that universities are reporting that people with A* mathematics A Levels are inadequately schooled in maths to take on engineering degrees, so it seems that Gove fellow is right to say that our qualifications aren't worth shit these days. Do you believe a return to a two tier sytems like the old CSE/O Levels would help? Save our children's futures, /OT.
Altalt: When I was a boy it seemed to me that I was the only child I knew who regularly went on holiday in Britain. What about you? Have you spent your breaks abroad more than you have here? How well do you know your own country?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:41,
301 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I'm going to take A level maths and Physics courses.Seeing as they've been dumbed down to CSE standard, I should be able to knock them both off in a month. When I add them to my CV, I won't mention that I have just taken them.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:47,
Reply)
Two tier sounds like a great idea, in fact I'd make it three and add some trade qualificationsWe holidayed in England during the recession of the early 90s, but mainly went abroad. I do not know the 'North' that well but I don't really want to.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:48,
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The Lake District is actually stunning.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:53,
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The problem with Scotland is it's full of Scots.But the highlands are properly lovely.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:38,
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I should caveat by saying I like the empty partsLess ghastly unintelligible accents and scabies
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:54,
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As is Northumberland.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:04,
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I enjoyed some brilliant holidays on the coast up your way.Fucking lovely.
(also, fucking freezing, mind)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:11,
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Not today.I'm sweating like a fat lass in a cake shop.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:13,
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That's because that is precisely what you are.Minus the cake shop.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:14,
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Bollocks!Its fucking gorgeous here today. 25C according to me
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:14,
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This.Doesn't help that I'm wearing a suit, like. Or that the air con here is fucking shit.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:21,
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Metro was like an oven this morning(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:29,
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I bloody love the Lakes.It's one of the few areas that I find truly beatiful.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:37,
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dull Qs MB.This morning I was listening to Mr Scruff on the train. I also bought Spiderland on vinyl this weekend.
Acquired any vinyl lately?
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:50, Reply)
I dunno, see here, we have three levels of maths if you do choose to take it, and each level is specifically designed to prepare you for the kind of course you want to do.Further maths is the easiest, Methods maths is designed for most standard engineering courses, and Specialist Maths is for those who want to do things like theoretical physics degrees. I did the first year of specialist, and both years of Further, as well as Chemistry maths, and I'm doing pretty okay in my degree.
But then you fuckers over there, there's what, 60 million of you squished into a space the size of my whole state? How many kids are in each class? it might just be that there aren't enough teachers to students.
I laughed at a cheesy glucose song on youtube. I didn't really go on holiday regularly - I think there were two big trips and that was it.
Also: U R GAY.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:51, Reply)
How many maths degrees do you need to count sheep?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
My youngest smacked my wife in the face, that was hilariousAlt. The system doesn't make much difference, the smart kids will excel the less smart will not. Mind you if everyone magically got a superb education and excelled at it and all got high level qualifications who would do the skilled manual labour? How many people with thier 12 A* and top degrees would want to collect rubbish? to quote a film I'm really in to "The world needs ditch diggers too"
Alt alt. I didn't go abroad until I was old enough to pay for it myself. All my holidays as a kid were going to visit various relatives around the country and once we went to Center Parcs my dad was a skinflint old bastard though.
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Peej, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:54,
Reply)
Haha, did she mean to smack her in the face, or not?that sounds very funny.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Luckily your mum is the forgiving sort, eh?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:06,
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I'm sorry, it just slipped in (
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:18,
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Sickipediaalt: Not sure of the truth of this,but when I went to uni 20+ years ago we were told only the top 5% went to uni.
It's a much bigger proportion now, have 4 or 5 times as many people really achieved that standard, or has it been lowered in order that more people stay in education to keep them off the unemployment figures?
altalt: Never went abroad till adult, had grandparents who lived by the seaside, which was just great for us kids.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)
You enjoyed having a couple of nobbly old fingers inside you every summer?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:02,
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I gave up on sickipedia some time ago.Is it worth another go?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:03,
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Sickipedia is worth it for the odd real gemyou do have to wade through a lot of dross to get to it though.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:06, Reply)
There's a half decent one on then there todayI was at an S&M party with my cock in this woman's arse when I realised I'd forgotten my toys just as she moaned, "Aren't you going to spank me?"
I thought to myself, "For fucks sake, I'm up shit creek without a paddle."
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:43,
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Morning MontyI saw 21 Jump Street last week, that gave me a good laugh.
Alt: Reducing class sizes would be a good idea, as teachers simply don't have time for 1-1 help when there's 30 people needing it.
AltAlt: Nope, we did the same. I've been on far more holidays in England than anywhere else, and I'm doing it again at the end of August.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:02,
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Morning.Re: alt - as I understand it, one of the problems is that schools 'shop around' for the easiest examining boards, to ensure they get the best results for the league tables - end result: everyone passes but few actually know that much. I mean FFS if you have an A* in A Level Maths you should surely be really, really fucking excellent at maths and we're being told people are getting that grade and still turning up at university without a clue.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:06,
Reply)
yupif you make people's jobs depend on statistics, they will find ways of achieving them you hadn't thought of
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:09, Reply)
That's a bit ridiculous.The annoying thing here is that a lot of students turn up to lectures and expect to be spoon fed everything, when it's really so different from highschool.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)
One of the benefits of universityis that it's a buffer between the cossetting of schooldays and the grim and desolate reality that is self-reliance in 'the real world'. It's a kind of halfway house in a sense.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:14,
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This is trueUni is only there to show you how to learn and fend for yourself
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:18,
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Here the problem is that so many people who go to uni are also on benefits as well.So they don't really learn anything about working at all until after uni.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:21, Reply)
This wouldn't surprise me at all, tbhHowever, a good part of it is as Poppet says above, so much of it is spoonfed to you. ICT at GCSE in particular is guilty of this, I didn't learn anything, as the teacher showed us how to do every single step of every exercise. Then again, he was a shit teacher*, so I'm not certain that's universal.
Spent more time having a laugh with the chavs in the class than he did actually teaching, this later extended to 'losing' work he'd already marked, and blaming us for not handing it in.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:15,
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Gove et al need to stop fucking messing about with stuffIn the last 3 years, they have changed the qualifications for GCSE level IT 3 times
I frequently went abroad as a kid and also holidayed in the Lakes, Norfolk Broads, etc. From working round the country for many a year I think I know it quite well
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:17,
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Gove is a cunt of the highest order and everything that comes out of his mouth is either a lie or another way to give public money to prviate companies.(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:25, Reply)
That could be any tory minister, not just Gove.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:26,
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Is it really a lie that the current qualifications earnt by today's children aren't worth shit?If universities are saying (as businesses have also been saying IIRC) that people are coming to them unprepared even for their degree courses, doesn't that support his claims? I also think he's a massive cunt, but the supporting evidence for at least that part of what he's being saying is rather mounting up, no?
Or do you genuinely believe that the children of today are all super-gifted wunderkinden (correct German? I learnt all mine from war comics, soz), hence them all getting five billion A* etc.?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:28,
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GCSE prepares you to learn A-levelThis then prepares you for a degree
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:31,
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....except that this isn't happening.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:34,
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Well, it is in a waythe standard of each level has fallen so degrees are not as difficult as they used to be, what has been said today is that to actually do the level fo work reuqired for a degree 20 years ago you need a higher standard of maths than is currently being taught.
As a guy on the radio said this morning its also the fault of the Universities for accepting people with these shit A level standards, if they told the schools and colleges what they would accept then the schools would soon start teaching to that level again. But it come down to Uni's accepting shit students just to get more money.
And that is actually Tony Blairs fault for insisting that 50% of people should attend Uni.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:38, Reply)
I have always said the thing I've most hated about Tony Blair was that he said 50% of people should go to uni.What a fucking crock of shit, I was looked down upon by so many people because I left at GCSE. In the meanwhile, aside a few doctors'n'stuff, I would say I'm more successful in my field than most people who did the whole degree thing are in theirs. Litterally I'd say 90% of anything I would have potentially learn't in a degree would be 100% defunct now. The game has changed so much, the goal posts have moved.
Not everyone is mummy's little scholar, some people learn by 'doing stuff' rather than by 'learning stuff'. Ok, you can't do that if you're a doctor or accountant, but there are _many_ industries that work like that.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:46,
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Okay, I apologise for generalising to the degree that allowed you to be such a pedantic bellend.Yes, exam standards have been dropping for years, decades even, but nobody in government seems willing to address the problem.
But Gove's solution is to simply privatise all the schools, still being funded from the taxpayer mind, but being run by an unaccountable company.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:31, Reply)
I thought another of his proposed solutions was simply to bin these shit examsand bring in harder ones?
If I've understood this correctly and that is so, how is that related to privatisation? I'm not being pedantic here - perhaps just a bellend, but I am genuinely asking.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:37,
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His ideas all seem to be linked back to reintroducing the 11 plus.And again, on an individual basis maybe not every single thing that he said is bullshit, I daresay he asks for a cup of tea when he actually wants a cup of tea, but his overall ideas for the education system are all leading towards his goal of having schools run for profit.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)
It's short for '11 plus 3'If you can answer that, you get an A* 'A' Level in Maths.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
It was an exam that kids took at 11If you passed you got to go to a grammar school and got taught to a high standard and could go to uni, if you failed you went to a different school which taught you at a lower standard.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:47, Reply)
At my school, no-one failed the 11+.You just 'didn't get in to Grammar School'.
Which is sort of like failing, you hippy fucks!
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:49,
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Somebody gets the contract to write the new exams?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:42,
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I agree with you 100%He looks like a right shifty cunt too
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:30,
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He must have been on my metro(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:32,
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He looks like he was used as a toast rack at school, the greasy little oik.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:39,
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Michael Owen (perennially injured footballer) told twitter to ask him anythingamong the questions were "I have a parcel coming thursday, could you come round and wait in for it?" And "Have you ever wanked off a horse?"
hashtag #AskMOwen, twitter fans.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:36,
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he said they could ask him anythingsmartly he didn't say he would answer.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:43,
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Wily little horse-wanker that he is.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:46,
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Still laughing at it https://twitter.com/#!/search/%23askMOwen?q=%23askMOwen
on a scale of 1 to Alex Ferguson, how much whiskey do you drink?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:51,
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altalt: We did the povvo abroad option of campingbut we were middle class so did Eurocamp and Canvas Holidays where the tent was already set up for you.
We did go to Cornwall a lot when I was small, though.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:38,
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I use maths a lot more than I ever thought I would, but it's all common sense. Maths is easy in code.You just need to say it out loud, like if you want to have a grid with 3 columns, like a table, I just say to myself.
"Ok, make X = 1. Then go through the loop, if X is 1, then we do a row start. Then we put in the cell with all the stuff we want in there. Then after that, if X is 3, we'll close the row and make X = 1, otherwise, we increase X by 1."
but in code, all that looks like is
$x = 1;
foreach($products as $product) {
if ($x == 1) { echo "NEW ROW"; }
echo "ALL THE STUFF WE WANT FOR A CELL;
if ($x == 3) { echo "END ROW"; $x = 1; } else { $x = $x + 1;}
}
It's easy.
$x = 1..... means you're make X be 1
$x == 1.... means you're seeing if X is 1.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:39,
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that's algebra, matethat's only a tiny bit of maths.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:44,
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i don't thinkk he was saying he was covering all of maths in his job, badge(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)
True, yeah.I was more covering the "maths is easy in code bit" really
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:48,
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so yeah, the bit of maths he uses in his job he finds easyi don't thinkk he was saying he was covering all of maths in his job, badge.
do you find simple things difficult?
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)
no, Q, I don'tbut what you said is not the same as what he said, now is it?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:50,
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he said maths is easy in code and then gave an example of the maths he finds easy in his codinghe did not say 'I DO ALL OF THE MATHS AND FIND ALL OF IT EASY' at any point.
Its not wonder our universities are going to shit with people like you working there
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
in fact, i'm gonna say the whole education system is your fault nowstupid prick
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)
I can't take responsibility for any failure in the schools system, Q.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:54,
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i think you should, this thread is a perfect example of how teachers like you are letting the system down(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
I'm not a teacher.I don't even really lecture that much, I'm mostly research.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:56,
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Those that can do... quint.... those that. can. do.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:59,
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which is why I mostly do, "do".rather than teach.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:10,
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"research" is clever people speak for"fuck about on google all day"
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Yeah', but its not a real job with deadlines and shit.Cancer would be cured YEARS ago, possibly on a spaceship, if you had performance reviews and deadlines that mattered.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:17,
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haha, yeah right.Deadlines in academia are if anything more brutal than in industry, because it's someone elses money you're justifying spending.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:19,
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It's always someone else's money, the clients or the govs....Pull the other one. Michelin star restaurants to sweet talk into a contract that would make millionaires out of everyone if the PROFIT was shared out.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:30,
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No, I'm paid to bring in research fundingtherefore I spend more time doing research than teaching.
I mean, obviously, Gove does have a lot to answer for, but my laziness isn't down to him.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:09,
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then my work here is done.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:13,
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Whats the difference between a university and a school anyway?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:59,
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I think you know the answer to that, PP.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:08,
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One is for older people?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:16,
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University qualifications are more specialist and more difficult than school qualifications(in geneneral, I mean you could be doing War Studies at Kings, most 5 year olds I know could piss that).
Universities are also places of research as well as teaching.
Age doesn't specifically come into it, but you need teh equivalent of school qualifications to get into University.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:40,
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Our universities aren't going to shitit's apparently our schools. Do try and keep up, Q.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:53,
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don't change the subject, badgeyou were wrong and i was right.
for once
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)
It is also logic, another bit of maths.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:45,
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Yup, this one, I think.like knowing how things flow and effect other things. Like if you wanna center something on the screen, you'll have to know where to place the top left point of that object. Or creating a chart with a veriable number of bars at different levels.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:48,
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I don't understand it at allBut give me some chemistry maths and I'll be right.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)
you are a MOL.Unless you're talking about the mol of substance, in which case to calculate it you either need the Ideal Gas Equation, the Concentration and volume, or the mass and molar mass of the substance in question.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:51, Reply)
I knew I should have done it lower case.I'm ashamed of myself. Bully.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:52,
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Where are the mods when you need them?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:56,
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Brighton, I shouldn't wonder.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:12,
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andy.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/programming-is-not-algebra/
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:47,
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No, sorry, I understand thatbut the only thing that really translates from maths into code is algebra
and logic, to satisfy Bartleby, but I'm never convinced logic is really maths. see also: statistics.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:50,
Reply)
Well, there are other bits, like generating bar graphs by knowing exactly where to place each line and block and label*Or knowing how to handle resources in that 8,16,32,64 etc stuff, whatever that progression is called. Or counting the seconds (or miliseconds sometimes) since The Epoch (1st Jan 1970 00:00:00).
I don't really know about different types of maths to tell you the truth, my point is, if you learnt how to code before you did maths, then you'd be able to do maths a lot easier.
* You're a mug if you do this today though; so many bits of code you can knick to do this for you, and they'd animate it.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:58,
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Except the fundamental problem that hangs people up about programmingis that it *isn't* maths.
In maths saying
a=10
b=20
a=b
is just wrong. In programming it's the whole point.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
Yo! *street handshakes*AltAlt: We split is almost 50/50 I reckon. We went on 'big' holidays every couple of years, but then we also went to Yorkshire, the Lakes, Cornwall, etc. a lot. Also, I'm from Essex so we went to Menorca a few times too.
Also - there's a video of a cat jumping off a windowsill and falling off it. There's something about it that makes me guffaw every time, I don't know why.
AND: That bit in Men Behaving Badly where Tony, having been offered an Oyster, says "no thanks, they disagree with me" and then Gary, who is holding an Oyster says "NO WE DON'T". Even thinking about it I'm starting to giggle.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:44,
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It bloody well is, you know.www.youtube.com/watch?v=g85wBkhFhjo
Next you'll be saying that CatCopter is cruel or something.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHA!What a shit cat
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:49,
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Maybe it was full of change and too heavy to jump(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:50,
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The lady with flour in her hairdryer or the sleepwalking dog make me lol(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:48,
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I'll be honest here, I love all of it.Apart from series one with Harry Enfield.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:53,
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I have to confess it does nothing for me at all.I think the reason for this is that the whole time, in the back of my mind, there's a little voice scoffing at how not-that-bad their so-called 'bad behaviour' is. Having a few pints and having some silly conversations ain't SHIT, bruv. I was behaving considerably more 'badly' than those two when I was 14.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
Yeah, but high levels of drug use and prozzie murdering wouldn't be so light-hearted, would it?(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:58,
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It depends how you do it, I reckon.The slapstick opportunities are tremendous.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:04,
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Hammerdeath is not slapstickSilly Monty
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:07,
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I'll show that fucking weird cunt(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
A degree of this is giant scaremongering.we've always re-taught maths for engineering courses at Uni because it's a different subject. (for "always" I mean "in the 20 years I've had experience of")
I'd suggest teaching methods are changing and it's getting easier to get higher grades, but to suggest someone with an A* is incapable of an engineering degree is horseshit. They may well be incapable of the degree, to clarify, but it won't be their maths letting them down.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
If you want a laugh I suggest the BBC documentary on the Oirish rap scene Hilarious
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
I saw that listed on iPlayer but decided I couldn't face it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
It was pretty depressing they haven't got a clue or a hopeAnother Irish doc worth watching on iplayer is Knuckle, it's about gyppo bare knuckle fighting
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
I saw an Oirish bare knuckle fight in a pub in Kilburn once.Scary as fuck if I am honest.
Battered was the clear winner, obv.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
A good nut punch will finish off the ruddiest of travellers(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
There's very little that I dislike morethan two lads who know how to fight and are seriously out to hurt each other.
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Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:07,
Reply)
He should watch it for moneymaking tips?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
There was an old episode of the Batman tv series on this morning before I went to workThe Riddler was making silent movies and secretly filmed Batman and Robin and put them in his film. His laugh whenever they appeared on screen was quite infectious.
Alt: "They" seem to have far too fucking much to say about everything. Fuck "They" I say.
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
The 60s Batman was fucking brilliant.The 'chicks' on it were 'well fit' and all.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
This is very very true MontersThe Riddler had a female cohort, the name of whom escapes me, who had some gratuitous midriff on display. They really knew how to dress female characters back then.
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
No, Monty, the 60s Batman was seriously bentin every possible meaning of the term.
(
Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
Given the choice between watchingThe Dark Knight Rises again and chubby Batman running around the docks with an ACME bomb I'd choose the latter as it has more tension, structure and plastic sharks.
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
Ah, but it doesn't matter how bad they are at maths as long as they're through the door and bums on seats."Roll out the red carpet on open days, save the badly ripped lino for when they arrive" is the message we've been given. I have several students appealing their degree result this year because "I worked hard and paid my money and it's not fair that I only got a 2:2/third/pass".
(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
Really?It's the sense of entitlement I can't stand. You worked hard, did you? Well, perhaps you should have worked harder, you little shit.
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
That's my reply,although somewhat more diplomatic so they don't give us bad reviews in the National Student Survey.
Anyway, those aren't ground for appeal so they have to go and think of better reasons. Dead grandmother or the like. Bueller...
(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
"Sorry mate, it doesn't matter how hard you work if you're thick."(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
Only in the ways of physical intimacy(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:55,
Reply)
I was flabbergasted that I got a 2:2, personally.That should not have been humanly possible due to 'men behaving badly' activities, see above.
To this day I take this as confirmation that I must be some kind of super-genius.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
we've only got ripped lino.but then, meh, we're so oversubscribed it doesn't seem to matter.
Doesn't stop a proportion of them being fucktards, of course, but it seems better this year since tuition fees came in down south - our retention rate from 1st to 2nd year is better than it's been for years.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
What made me laugh is the treasury minister who said that paying your plumber cash in hand was not only morally wrongbut was costing the country billions.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)
If he uses Pimlico Plumbers as I did once, he is wholly correct.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:03,
Reply)
Did you see the doc about them?Fucking tosspot owner
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:06,
Reply)
Every time I get a train out of Waterloo and see their offices I think of that programme.And every time I think "the owner of that place is a weapons-grade dickwipe".
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:09,
Reply)
£1,000,000 a year salary and he still wore a shite shirtHis son on £120,000 to look after 6 staff answering phones? WTF?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
it's almost as if people who own companies pay themselves more than the staff(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
The whole concept of the TV programme was fairness in salaries though(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:25,
Reply)
didn't watch it, along with any tv for that matterthere's nothing 'fair' about salaries, just look at our angles on the hospital wards
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
I am way, way too embarrassed to tell the class how badly they ripped me off replacing a radiator.The fucking cunts.
I thought 'I won't get a local chap as you probably get knocked every time, so I will try a bigger firm to be sure that a genuine price structure is adhered to'. What a price structure it was, un-fucking-believable.
PS no, I didn't but could not be less surprised. Fucking highwaymen.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:09,
Reply)
couldn't you just replace a radiator yourself?are you some sort of womangay?
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:13, Reply)
but changing a radiator's a piece of pissturn off tap, drain radiator, unscrew, attach new radiator, turn on tap
no?
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
You'd have to drain the whole system, rather than just the radbut essentially, yeah. Changing filters on a car or replacing a computer hard drive is piss-easy, but people don't want to do that either.
(
Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:20,
Reply)
Kroney's part right, some systems don't have taps on the radiators(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
You know the things that let you turn the heat up and down on your radiator?Them things are taps and can be used to isolate the radiator. If you don't have them then you have a fucking pikey heating system.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
not all radiators have thoseone in my hall doesn't for instance
all the others do, and i have a very modern system
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Or a centralised thermostat.They're not taps, they're thermostats.
(
Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:37,
Reply)
You have to have them to balance the radiatorotherwise all the hot water goes to the first radiator and it's red hot, and the others in your house are stone cold.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)
I haven't taken apart the central heating in my flatbut I can categorically say that I have one boiler, three rads on a linear circuit, a centrally controlled thermostat in the sitting room and not a blessed thing on any of the radiators save the drainage valve on the one by the front door.
(
Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:40,
Reply)
Also, to the best of my knowledgethe water isn't static, it gets pumped around the system so while the rads at the end of the system may be cold until the water gets to it, it shouldn't be forever unless you've got a blockage.
(
Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:44,
Reply)
You clearly don't understand how heating systems workwww.telegraph.co.uk/property/propertyadvice/jeffhowell/8278429/Home-improvements-What-is-radiator-balancing.html
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)
I must admit, whilst it's actually a breach of my /OT contract to agree with AlI've never come across a system that didn't have taps of some kind at either end.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:38,
Reply)
I guarantee you I would cause a flood or worse if I tried.I'm absolutely shit at that sort of thing. My father taught me nothing as we had maintenance men from the College who'd do everything. Our hall ceiling was really fucking high, and these chaps would even come round to change the lightbulbs.
My brother can do all that shit because he spent 10 years as a squatter but not me, I am hopeless.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
it's worth giving it a shot though, save yourself hundredsand what with the internet these days it's easy to look up how to do things
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Nowadays I've little choice but to do as you say.I need to make a will.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
I beqeath the sum of FUCK ALL and some obscure vinyl to Boyce Jr(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:26,
Reply)
+ debts, Sporto, lots of lovely debts.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
I'm not sure you can give them away like thatJust saying like
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
certain debts can be claimed by the creditor to the deceased's nearest and dearest(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
is there a flip side of that shitty heir hunters show, where some office full of sadistic cunts trawl he country to heap debt upon the recently bereaved?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:38,
Reply)
no, because those sadistic cunts are bankeerswho we all know are above the law
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)
You forgot the bit where you find the threads have been metricated.Or that the new radiator is 1mm shorter than before.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:22,
Reply)
Or that a jet of scalding water is spraying into the air because the radiator has splitand the bit where you try to turn it off has so many layers of fucking paint on it from imbecilic previous tenants that it doesn't work etc etc.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:26,
Reply)
I replaced a ball valve on Saturday,I took the old one to B & Q to make sure it was the same size and the threads were OK. I have common sense.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:33,
Reply)
that's what i always doi'm no genius, but i'll be damned if i'm gonna pay a REAL man to come in and do it for me
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
You are a real man Q.Where do these self doubts come from?
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:36,
Reply)
If it's the one I've seen, I think you have a point.No offence, like.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:45,
Reply)
i just did a google image search for quentin oftiweakand got this
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:53,
Reply)
I see. How odd.There is *another* pic.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:57,
Reply)
sounds mysterious, (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 11:06,
Reply)
the guy on the left is my brothertrue story*
*may not be 100% true
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)
You turn off the cock at the water tankand then open the drainage valve to drain the rad system.
(
Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
No, that would be stupid.and put a hose over the drainage valve and run that out of the front door. Don't do what a friend of mine did and assume the washing up bowl would be enough as "it was only the one radiator :("
(
Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:32,
Reply)
to be fair superfly is part rightmany radiators these days have taps so you can cut off supply to them
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)
If you don't have flow restricitve valves at either end of your radiatorthen it's been put in completely wrong.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)
there is something there, not sure what, could be taps, look like plastic stoppersbut all the other radiators are adjustable except that one
i'll shut up now as i don't know what i'm talking about
also, fuck you, just cos
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Does it cost the country as much as letting Vodafone off their back taxes?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
And I bet the morally oleaginous fucker was saying thatin the same week as he paid his gardener in cash to get the VAT saving passed on.
(
Kroney, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
I laughed yesterday, but only to hide the tears.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:19,
Reply)
BlimeyIts Windy Pig everyone!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
who are you?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
I am sportscowHear me moo
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
as a pig, i'm pretty sure i'm supposed to hate cows. but i'll make an exception for you.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:26,
Reply)
\o/Together we are the bacon cheesburger of offtopic
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
we're so tasty, pigeons fight over our remains on the high street.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:29,
Reply)
I will never gaz you a picture of my genitals again. Never.I am truly sorry.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:22,
Reply)
They are nice genitals though, i appreciate you letting me have a look.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:25,
Reply)
Is this where someone says Hello Bert?Hello Bert.
(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:25,
Reply)
?plato.stanford.edu/entries/russell/russell.gif
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
i didn't know he posted here, did you bully him off?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:32,
Reply)
He's now in Dorking nick, the dirty nonce.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:35,
Reply)
Nah Winders here isn't Robbo.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
so, how does it work over here, who are the bad guys, and who are the good guys?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:29,
Reply)
same as /talkwe're all cunts except Quentin.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:30,
Reply)
The layout of the threads is better here, and you can post pics.I'm terribly dull and everyone else is a prick.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:33,
Reply)
pictures?PICTURES? ARE YOU MAD THERE WILL BE UPROAR!
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:36,
Reply)
what the fuck is that pointless thing?kill it. kill it with FIRE.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:44,
Reply)
It looks like someone's drawn a face on one of Ainsley Harriott's bollocks(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:47,
Reply)
I am so turned on right now.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:50,
Reply)
you be the rat, i'll be the bear.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:51,
Reply)
WP definitely isn't Bert.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:29,
Reply)
prove it queer.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:29,
Reply)
Have you fucked your sister?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:30,
Reply)
i fucked YOUR sister, but no, alas, i have no sister.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:31,
Reply)
Then, sir, you are not Bert.And I'm afraid if you fucked my sister* I'm going to have to let you know you should probably get yourself checked out pretty soon. You might not have long left.
*I don't have a sister, so I can only assume it was my brother in drag.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:33,
Reply)
I knew girls weren't supposed to have cocks, but he was so persuasive, and i had had at least 3 breezers.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
Apparently he is a caring and considerate lover.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:35,
Reply)
he takes it like a lady, and gives like a stallion.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:37,
Reply)
YOU'VE GOT HIM ON THE ROPES HERE!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:31,
Reply)
DID YOU THREATEN TO OVERRULE YOUR SISTER?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:54,
Reply)
If not, why not? Everyone else has. (
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:32,
Reply)
alright gonz, how's it going?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:33,
Reply)
Martin Amis makes me laugh.He's very cruel to his characters and writes ridiculously well. From interviews I've read, he seems like a sarcastic, prickly bastard. I think we'd get on like a house on fire.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
His dad had a pathological hatred of my grandfather, fact fans.My mother occasionally played with Martin Amis when she was a little girl.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
is that because your Grandad was a butt head?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:35,
Reply)
Amis. I've always liked West, with his cheeky grin and his hot wife.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:48,
Reply)
the meltdowns last week made me laughwent to see "posh" last night, thoroughly recommend it. excellent play. nicely cynical. this also made me laugh.
alt: they dumb down the exams every single year and then they wonder why kids don't know shit. duuuuh. also, scrap the crap universities and the pointless degrees.
altalt: we went to cornwall when i was very little, but other than that, always abroad. i'm going to my house in cornwall for the first time this september, though. woo.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:44,
Reply)
i don't want to be argumentative, but is there any evidence for the exams being dumbed down?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:50,
Reply)
A man in the pub has assured me that this is the case, so it's a firm YES.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:52,
Reply)
The fact that the pass rate has increased every single year since time began and dinosaurs were much better at calculus than today's "media savvy" youths.(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)
i wonder if its that the exams have got easier, or the teachers are now teching kids how to pass exams, rather than teaching them broad knowledge about their subject.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:54,
Reply)
The teachers are all paedos and the kids are dirty slags who love it.There's a lad on here who is retraining to be a teacher for this very reason.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:56,
Reply)
really?i'm sure that's not his entire reason is it?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:58,
Reply)
I think he's also keen on the long holidays(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:59,
Reply)
It is, he's so disgustingly obese and ugly that his only chance to get some is to force a child onto his junk.You'd think he would try and improve his lot, but no, he keeps getting tattoos of cartons on his back to attract more kiddies.
(, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 11:00, Reply)
i'd like to meet this fellow, and give him a kick up the bonce.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 11:02,
Reply)
What, cartons of milk and stuff?The sneaky peaedo git. Kids LOVE milk.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 11:07,
Reply)
Also he'll get free parking.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 11:04,
Reply)
little bit from column alittle bit from column b.
I've seen no evidence that the kids are getting less able once they get to uni, though. I've not particularly changed the content of my courses or exams over the last 6 years and the pass rate has stayed similar.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 11:02,
Reply)
i think on the whole comparing university to school is pointless, university is almost completely filled by people who want to learn (maybe after a bit of a party in their first year) where as schools have to contend with trouble pupils and disrupted classes and yet still provide pass rates and hit targets.
I think maybe whats his fac up their is right and we should just go back to grammar schools and the 11+ and start training the little road sweepers nice and early.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 11:05,
Reply)
With their 'wap phones' and 'BMX' bicycles.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:55,
Reply)
i'm not gonna lie to you, i can't really back that up with statisticsbut anecdotally my brother is a headmaster and on the board for one of the examining boards, and he says so. for one example, latin has lost the requirement to translate english into latin, which is a million times harder than the other way round.
but be argumentative if you like.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:55,
Reply)
you may well be right, but it would seem a silly thing to do, as i'm sure the teachers and exam boards have targets for pass rates etc, if they keep making it easier, eventually everyone gets A* and then what?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:57,
Reply)
I remember taking previous years papers at GCSE, for practise purposesThe final exam was never as hard as those.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 Jul 2012, 10:58,
Reply)
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