I have just received this email from '[email protected]', it couldn't have come at a better time tbh
Everybody farts but do you know if yours are normal? Is the smell of yours a sign of deadly disease?
One BIG myth about farts could put you at high risk of colon, prostate, and stomach cancer while adding 5 to 7 inches to your waistline.
In fact, a famous gastroenterologist (M.D. specializing in digestion, gut, poop etc) suggests that over 100 million Americans are spiking their risk and “smelling” far worse than they need to because they are deficient in this one “stinky” nutrient that fixes farts.
The trick is that this one “stinky” nutrient helps you poop out the toxins that cause unhealthy farts, weight gain, constipation, bloating, and even elevated cancer risk.
Medical doctors around the world are shocked by how quickly this one “stinky” nutrient fixes smelly farts, bathroom troubles, and belly bloating, and stubborn fat.
How can you increase your levels of the one “stinky” nutrient overnight? I’ll show you exactly how at the link below...
This 1 “stinky” nutrient is fixing farts, perfecting poops, and taking 5 to 7 inches off waists FAST all across America
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 13:04, archived)
Everybody farts but do you know if yours are normal? Is the smell of yours a sign of deadly disease?
One BIG myth about farts could put you at high risk of colon, prostate, and stomach cancer while adding 5 to 7 inches to your waistline.
In fact, a famous gastroenterologist (M.D. specializing in digestion, gut, poop etc) suggests that over 100 million Americans are spiking their risk and “smelling” far worse than they need to because they are deficient in this one “stinky” nutrient that fixes farts.
The trick is that this one “stinky” nutrient helps you poop out the toxins that cause unhealthy farts, weight gain, constipation, bloating, and even elevated cancer risk.
Medical doctors around the world are shocked by how quickly this one “stinky” nutrient fixes smelly farts, bathroom troubles, and belly bloating, and stubborn fat.
How can you increase your levels of the one “stinky” nutrient overnight? I’ll show you exactly how at the link below...
This 1 “stinky” nutrient is fixing farts, perfecting poops, and taking 5 to 7 inches off waists FAST all across America
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 13:04, archived)
Farting out the front isn't as much of a laugh as you'd think, I have to be honest
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 13:58, archived)
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 13:58, archived)
The good thing is that when it happens, you can just say that you can't help it
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 16:09, archived)
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 16:09, archived)
but if your farts don't stink, how can you deter muggers?
think it through, normal farts!
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 17:22, archived)
think it through, normal farts!
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 17:22, archived)
i don't have pockets
and i'm damned if i'm keeping a blade in my bra
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 18:26, archived)
and i'm damned if i'm keeping a blade in my bra
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 18:26, archived)
Well I suppose you could wear it on your front but you'd probably puncture your femoral when sitting down for the first time
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 19:32, archived)
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 19:32, archived)
Haha, norbal farts, good joke monster munch late of this parish!!
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 21:21, archived)
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 21:21, archived)
Bet they didn't teach you THAT during 7 years at some fancy medical school eh
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 18:59, archived)
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 18:59, archived)
What was that diet drug that was supposed to prevent your body absorbing fats but just gave everyone the chronic shits instead?
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 19:19, archived)
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 19:19, archived)
what, and miss out on a whole evening of explosive, greasy shits?
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 20:01, archived)
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 20:01, archived)
it's been average, so far
got a package in the mail this morning
turned out to be coconut oil
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 12:13, archived)
got a package in the mail this morning
turned out to be coconut oil
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 12:13, archived)
So much for the golden future, I can't even start
I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart
You don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue
If you did you'd find yourselves doing the same thing
You doing to me now
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 8:15, archived)
I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart
You don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue
If you did you'd find yourselves doing the same thing
You doing to me now
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 8:15, archived)
ain't it just!
Can't wait for my wife to get home from work so we can go out to dinner!
*wakes up*
oh.
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 9:42, archived)
Can't wait for my wife to get home from work so we can go out to dinner!
*wakes up*
oh.
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 9:42, archived)
morning
insurance company's been round
oh boy
they sure have some prize arseclowns on their staff
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 9:21, archived)
insurance company's been round
oh boy
they sure have some prize arseclowns on their staff
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 9:21, archived)
alright Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver who first posted that in 2012
or are you Geordie Jay who posted it in 2014?
or Mr Tea who posted it in 2015?
Grrrmachine, 2016?
Drimble 2018?
Or are you simply banned posted dozer, who, really ahead of the curve, posted it last week?
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 10:45, archived)
or are you Geordie Jay who posted it in 2014?
or Mr Tea who posted it in 2015?
Grrrmachine, 2016?
Drimble 2018?
Or are you simply banned posted dozer, who, really ahead of the curve, posted it last week?
( , Tue 12 Jan 2021, 10:45, archived)
To a bemused driver with several sandwiches wrapped in tin foil who asked if he could maybe surrender the meat and keep just the bread, one customs officer replied: “No, everything will be confiscated. Welcome to Brexit, sir, I’m sorry.”
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 18:48, archived)
This is just the beginning
First your sandwiches, then your women.
Then there’ll be no one to make your sandwiches
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 19:45, archived)
First your sandwiches, then your women.
Then there’ll be no one to make your sandwiches
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 19:45, archived)
First episode of DJ Semtex's new podcast series "Hip Hop Raised Me"
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 20:05, archived)
It would be even better if they'd scrapped the stupidity
Arnie being picky about sunglasses, for example
It's not charming and a nice nod to 2, it's just bollocks
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 14:50, archived)
Arnie being picky about sunglasses, for example
It's not charming and a nice nod to 2, it's just bollocks
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 14:50, archived)
I thought it was an affectionate piss-take of the whole thing
they'd had enough faffing around with time travel by that point, so they just did a parody
when you think of the difference in style between the ice-blooded noir of the first one and having a lady Terminator with inflatable boobs...
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 15:09, archived)
they'd had enough faffing around with time travel by that point, so they just did a parody
when you think of the difference in style between the ice-blooded noir of the first one and having a lady Terminator with inflatable boobs...
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 15:09, archived)
even a cybernetic organism wouldn't wear those fucking elton john-looking monstrosities
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:33, archived)
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:33, archived)
He's trying to blend in, he'll wear whatever his chosen victim had on them.
Fashion, gayness or anything else wouldn't even come into it - unless he'd been sent back with a complete knowledge of social signifiers of the time, and I guess not, since John had to teach him everything. Looking for transport and clothes, it's just luck he went into a biker bar rather than, say, a pizza delivery company.
/upsetter
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:44, archived)
Fashion, gayness or anything else wouldn't even come into it - unless he'd been sent back with a complete knowledge of social signifiers of the time, and I guess not, since John had to teach him everything. Looking for transport and clothes, it's just luck he went into a biker bar rather than, say, a pizza delivery company.
/upsetter
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:44, archived)
leather is hard-wearing, thus more beneficial and practical
if he wanted to blend in, wearing pink-tinted, glittery, star-shaped sunglasses with biker's leathers would definitely not help
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:46, archived)
if he wanted to blend in, wearing pink-tinted, glittery, star-shaped sunglasses with biker's leathers would definitely not help
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:46, archived)
He shouldn't fall off his bike though, what with machine reflexes
and even if he does it'll only damage the organic covering. Which itself is kind of irrelevant after he's travelled, seeing as he's almost unstoppable and the T-1000 must know all previous model disguises by sight anyway.
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:51, archived)
and even if he does it'll only damage the organic covering. Which itself is kind of irrelevant after he's travelled, seeing as he's almost unstoppable and the T-1000 must know all previous model disguises by sight anyway.
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:51, archived)
Oh hang on you're talking 3 again not 2.
No, I can't really defend it much at all.
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:52, archived)
No, I can't really defend it much at all.
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:52, archived)
No comparison though to DF
which was the last thing I saw on the big screen
Christ, what a thing to end it on
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 17:03, archived)
which was the last thing I saw on the big screen
Christ, what a thing to end it on
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 17:03, archived)
could have been worse
at least it wasn't santa claus and the ice cream bunny
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 17:05, archived)
at least it wasn't santa claus and the ice cream bunny
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 17:05, archived)
I did mean "my cinema-going"
but it could equally mean "the terminator franchise"
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 17:05, archived)
but it could equally mean "the terminator franchise"
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 17:05, archived)
not so bad, not so bad
I need to do my tax return, and I always dread it until I actually start doing it, but am still procrastinating.
And by 'it', I of course mean 'your nan up the Paul Gadd'
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 12:46, archived)
I need to do my tax return, and I always dread it until I actually start doing it, but am still procrastinating.
And by 'it', I of course mean 'your nan up the Paul Gadd'
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 12:46, archived)
did you see that Brewdog were giving away a 4 pack of their new lager?
There was a 45 minute queue to get on their website to order it.
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 13:23, archived)
There was a 45 minute queue to get on their website to order it.
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 13:23, archived)
"YOU ARE NOW WAITING IN A QUEUE
You are now waiting in a queue for access to BrewDog.com because our website is currently over capacity. When it is your turn you will have 10 minutes to enter the website."
fucking lol
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 14:17, archived)
They can only have so many on the site at one time because of social distancing
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:59, archived)
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 16:59, archived)
just about to go to work
urslf?
be careful out there lads lol imgur.com/gallery/AbGGKRS
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 7:49, archived)
urslf?
be careful out there lads lol imgur.com/gallery/AbGGKRS
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 7:49, archived)
just started myself
edit: she had quite an androgynous face to begin with tbf
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 7:53, archived)
edit: she had quite an androgynous face to begin with tbf
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 7:53, archived)
and 6 and 12, the face is a different shape
I don't think hormones alter your bones like that
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 8:04, archived)
I don't think hormones alter your bones like that
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 8:04, archived)
Morning
I got hooted at by an owl this morning when I left the house, I think he was calling me a cunt.
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 7:58, archived)
I got hooted at by an owl this morning when I left the house, I think he was calling me a cunt.
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 7:58, archived)
morning
busy af today, thank god I put in a couple of hours of work over the weekend or I'd be super stressed now
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 8:04, archived)
busy af today, thank god I put in a couple of hours of work over the weekend or I'd be super stressed now
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 8:04, archived)
unlucky
I am now trying not to leave the house at all if I can possibly avoid it, it's horrendous out there
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 10:29, archived)
I am now trying not to leave the house at all if I can possibly avoid it, it's horrendous out there
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 10:29, archived)
Alright Hitler
Taking the next couple of days to shift some major shit. Organizing the DVD's will take about 4 hours for a start. Quick smoke break before I crank up Disturbed and get cracking
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 12:09, archived)
Taking the next couple of days to shift some major shit. Organizing the DVD's will take about 4 hours for a start. Quick smoke break before I crank up Disturbed and get cracking
( , Mon 11 Jan 2021, 12:09, archived)
Attention: Beneficiary,
I am the Deputy Director, Federal Bureau of Investigation David Bowdich. We intercepted and seized a sealed envelope at the John F Kennedy International Airport, New York, NY 11430 coming from a foreign country. We scanned the content of the sealed envelope and found it contained a total sum of 4.1 million dollars value certified payment bond. Also, the sealed envelope had documents with your name on them as the receiver of the package. We question the diplomat that accompanied the sealed envelope into the United States, and we learned that he was to deliver this sealed envelope to your residence as payment of an inheritance / winning prize payment due and owed to you.
The envelope paperwork lacks the PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND LEGAL DELIVERY PERMIT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE form. We confiscated the envelope and released the Diplomat. The sealed envelope according to section 229 subsection 31 of the International Commerce Regulators Code Enforcement Guidelines, lacks PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND LEGAL DELIVERY PERMIT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE and since the content is valued financial material of such amount, from the joint team of the Federal Bureau Of Investigation and Homeland Security, you're to reply for direction on how to procure the envelope so you will be relieved of the charges of tax evasion which is a jail-able offense under section 12 subsection 441 of the tax code. We will also be asking the IRS to launch an investigation on money laundering if you do not follow our instructions.
You are required to reply within 72 hours at that point I will walk you through the process of clearing and claiming the money. Failure to comply may lead to your arrest, interrogation and,/or you being prosecuted in the Court of Law for tax evasion and/or money laundering. You are also advised not to contact any bank in Africa, Europe or banking institutions for security reasons.
Yours in service,
David Bowdich
Deputy Director
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 22:40, archived)
I was going to say that nobody has the time to read all that shit
But I'm bored out of my swede and a bit drunk
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 23:09, archived)
But I'm bored out of my swede and a bit drunk
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 23:09, archived)
i enjoy a lot of different music sorry if you think it's rubbish, maybe you should and buy some new speakers whilst fucking yourself with a rake
dinosaur jr was going to be my last so thanks for fucking that up you dilapidated nutsack
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 22:17, archived)
dinosaur jr was going to be my last so thanks for fucking that up you dilapidated nutsack
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 22:17, archived)
you don't have to like it i was just posting what i was listening to tonight as i listened to it for some reason
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 22:38, archived)
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 22:38, archived)
Elastica sounds like a brand of underwear
I've got 10 days off :)
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 22:14, archived)
I've got 10 days off :)
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 22:14, archived)
Evening.
We did my daughter's 5th birthday party over zoom. Pretty good, my wife found some online children's entertainer to do it. He initially said he'd retired from doing online entertaining, think it might be something to do with having to stop his meds to do it but we offered him double rates and he agreed.
Top quality entertainment, I particularly enjoyed the bit where he pied himself in the face and then washed it off with a jar of meerkat piss.
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 19:57, archived)
We did my daughter's 5th birthday party over zoom. Pretty good, my wife found some online children's entertainer to do it. He initially said he'd retired from doing online entertaining, think it might be something to do with having to stop his meds to do it but we offered him double rates and he agreed.
Top quality entertainment, I particularly enjoyed the bit where he pied himself in the face and then washed it off with a jar of meerkat piss.
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 19:57, archived)
you can put the dinner on i'll be home in 20 minutes
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzYtN_DZ53U
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 20:34, archived)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzYtN_DZ53U
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 20:34, archived)
woah, flashbacks
also, Hitler telling you to put the oven on is a little suspicious
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 20:48, archived)
also, Hitler telling you to put the oven on is a little suspicious
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 20:48, archived)
They played some Bach on Radio 3 earlier.
Are they a bit behind the times or wot, lol.
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 14:54, archived)
Are they a bit behind the times or wot, lol.
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 14:54, archived)
hello Smash
I had a girlfriend called Smash, forgot about that
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 17:50, archived)
I had a girlfriend called Smash, forgot about that
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 17:50, archived)
did you sculpt her out of mashed potato?
Smash Monkey 2, I mean
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 19:41, archived)
Smash Monkey 2, I mean
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 19:41, archived)
so since i got a 'so uplifting*
*this post may contain lies'
baseless reply to a track which i didn't think was misrable at all, it made me think of this uplifting ditty, it's a brilliant track imho and there's a backstory which i can't be bothered to tell you:
youtu.be/m8xQ7mAJ4-E
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 0:12, archived)
*this post may contain lies'
baseless reply to a track which i didn't think was misrable at all, it made me think of this uplifting ditty, it's a brilliant track imho and there's a backstory which i can't be bothered to tell you:
youtu.be/m8xQ7mAJ4-E
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 0:12, archived)
if you want to enjoy a nice self indulgent cry for a couple of hours Sophia have got you covered.
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 0:17, archived)
it's okay i found a little pick me up track
youtu.be/iF06OrdBYII
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 0:37, archived)
youtu.be/iF06OrdBYII
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 0:37, archived)
oh that's alright then, i was getting worried
youtu.be/3ELhjZFcWGE
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 0:43, archived)
youtu.be/3ELhjZFcWGE
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 0:43, archived)
maybe that's all he needed. birthday party or something.
chin up hitler, stop killing everyone and have a nice piece of cake
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 1:32, archived)
chin up hitler, stop killing everyone and have a nice piece of cake
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 1:32, archived)
i bought loads of healthy stuff in the shop
so now i've got fuck all to eat :(
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 1:35, archived)
so now i've got fuck all to eat :(
( , Sun 10 Jan 2021, 1:35, archived)
Are we your google bitches?
Yes, Yes we are.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:52, archived)
Yes, Yes we are.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:52, archived)
i could do that
i want you to spoon feed me like caring parents
it's called CONVERSTATION the google computer won't help you out of a mangled wreckage, but i might
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:53, archived)
i want you to spoon feed me like caring parents
it's called CONVERSTATION the google computer won't help you out of a mangled wreckage, but i might
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:53, archived)
The post Christmas Diet starts tomorrow
*plays Rocky theme tune*
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:54, archived)
*plays Rocky theme tune*
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:54, archived)
i've got some tunes you can get your teeth into
youtu.be/DgadUAgMJnU
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:01, archived)
youtu.be/DgadUAgMJnU
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:01, archived)
These days you get arrested and thrown in jail just for dressing as a buffalo and participating in insurrection.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:01, archived)
whole album for anyone interested, one of my favourite albums of all time
youtu.be/35gq-7BBIbU
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:24, archived)
youtu.be/35gq-7BBIbU
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:24, archived)
i'm the only cool person here
and that's only because i've been dead over 75 years
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:33, archived)
and that's only because i've been dead over 75 years
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:33, archived)
dunno but it's definitely not too late to put your head in the oven
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:07, archived)
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:07, archived)
Too late?
3am isn't too late to put a pizza in the oven, as long as you set an alarm so when you drunkenly slump into the corner your house doesn't set on fire.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:19, archived)
3am isn't too late to put a pizza in the oven, as long as you set an alarm so when you drunkenly slump into the corner your house doesn't set on fire.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:19, archived)
i once put a pizza in the oven whilst drunk
i woke up several hours later and the house was full of smoke. i opened all the windows and turned the oven off. when i got up the next day i opened the oven and found the pizza completely carbonised. it was a fragile frisbee and it weighed about 6 grams.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:23, archived)
i woke up several hours later and the house was full of smoke. i opened all the windows and turned the oven off. when i got up the next day i opened the oven and found the pizza completely carbonised. it was a fragile frisbee and it weighed about 6 grams.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:23, archived)
fucking fantastic album, they were phenomenol live
youtu.be/ICIx4Dscuac
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:58, archived)
youtu.be/ICIx4Dscuac
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:58, archived)
if by met you mean 'fucked all of them in a portaloo in byfleet'
then no
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:06, archived)
then no
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 23:06, archived)
What do you give a daughter on her 18th birthday? Looks like I wont be able to buy her a pint
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 17:18, archived)
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 17:18, archived)
I got a 2.5 pint glass
From my dad. Egged on to down 2.5 pints of John Smiths in one go. Rushed to the bathroom. Didn't make it. Vomitted beer all over the hall. His bloody fault.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:23, archived)
From my dad. Egged on to down 2.5 pints of John Smiths in one go. Rushed to the bathroom. Didn't make it. Vomitted beer all over the hall. His bloody fault.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:23, archived)
Membership of an ethnically-diverse collection of countries with a shared value system
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 18:03, archived)
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 18:03, archived)
Posh bit of jewelry?
Necklace, ring, bracelet, earrings. Surely any of them would do?
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:21, archived)
Necklace, ring, bracelet, earrings. Surely any of them would do?
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 22:21, archived)
There's a bloke at the station in shorts, I assume hes either a scaffolder or a postie
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 7:30, archived)
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 7:30, archived)
i saw someone similar a few days back. woolly hat, coat, gloves and shorts
tats on his calves, obv
actually i see a lot of people like that
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 7:45, archived)
tats on his calves, obv
actually i see a lot of people like that
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 7:45, archived)
Old fella I know , former scaffolder, will only wear shorts , vowed to never wear long trousers again
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 7:48, archived)
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 7:48, archived)
Yeah, weird how there aren't any films with 'girl' in the title that aren't terrible.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 14:39, archived)
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 14:39, archived)
I’m thinking of buying a couple of hoodies.
I shall drink more coffee and ponder further. Morning LittersHitters
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 8:56, archived)
I shall drink more coffee and ponder further. Morning LittersHitters
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 8:56, archived)
I feel horrendous. Second covid jab yesterday and now have rigors, a temp of 38.9 and pain everywhere.
Gonna be worth it though, I'm still looking forward to repopulating the planet once you wankers are all dead.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 14:38, archived)
Gonna be worth it though, I'm still looking forward to repopulating the planet once you wankers are all dead.
( , Sat 9 Jan 2021, 14:38, archived)
disturbed a very slow but very angry queen wasp whilst taking this roof down today
she came at me one angry step at.. a.. time.. i carefully picked her up with something that waspn't part of my body and she stung that furiously, and i put her somewhere safer, because i'm nice.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 19:06, archived)
she came at me one angry step at.. a.. time.. i carefully picked her up with something that waspn't part of my body and she stung that furiously, and i put her somewhere safer, because i'm nice.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 19:06, archived)
fuck off hitler
you and your wurst wasps won't bring down our democracy
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 19:38, archived)
you and your wurst wasps won't bring down our democracy
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 19:38, archived)
my mad old auntie clearly remembers a string of sausage wasps attacking london
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 19:41, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 19:41, archived)
well you've killed /talk until tomorrow
you bastard. why don't you fucking kill yourself, again.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 20:29, archived)
you bastard. why don't you fucking kill yourself, again.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 20:29, archived)
i'm sorry i just can't indulge in your waspy sausages and their squadron of lies
doesn't make me a monster
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 20:31, archived)
doesn't make me a monster
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 20:31, archived)
i'll decide who is bonkers and who has the biggest conkers
not you!
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 20:35, archived)
not you!
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 20:35, archived)
the only people on b3ta now are office sadsacks that would do absolutely anything other than an honest days work whilst sat on their fucking arses
you lazy gobshite cunts.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 21:05, archived)
you lazy gobshite cunts.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 21:05, archived)
you could probably cull 85% of office workers, and their families, and those left over could easily take up the slack
that's all i'm saying. also the first born child makes the best candles in my experience.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 21:49, archived)
that's all i'm saying. also the first born child makes the best candles in my experience.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 21:49, archived)
hullo
I'm having a row with a spastic on eBay, what are you up to?
Trying my hand at Roy Choi's fried chicken recipe 2moz, and am smoking lamb shanks on Sunday, weather permitting. Trying to find things to cook that take hours of fannying about to produce, in order to fill up the days. What a fucking world, eh guy's?
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 14:53, archived)
I'm having a row with a spastic on eBay, what are you up to?
Trying my hand at Roy Choi's fried chicken recipe 2moz, and am smoking lamb shanks on Sunday, weather permitting. Trying to find things to cook that take hours of fannying about to produce, in order to fill up the days. What a fucking world, eh guy's?
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 14:53, archived)
I had a mooch about to see if any pubs were selling illegal off licence pints, all closed . Hometime then.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 14:58, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 14:58, archived)
just went out to the shop/for a walk, it's fackin freezing out there today
should've worn my goose down coat
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:38, archived)
should've worn my goose down coat
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:38, archived)
It certainly is , I'm waiting for a bus and wearing my mask for warmth
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:40, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:40, archived)
Listening to my neighbour cough her lungs up
for the second week straight
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:01, archived)
for the second week straight
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:01, archived)
Her own fault
been behaving like there's no pandemic all year, a miracle it took this long
Just hope she doesn't decide to sneeze through my letterbox or something
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:04, archived)
been behaving like there's no pandemic all year, a miracle it took this long
Just hope she doesn't decide to sneeze through my letterbox or something
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:04, archived)
falling asleep at my desk, looks like this week's random and crap sleep schedule is catching up with me
might have a lamb shank meself
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:25, archived)
might have a lamb shank meself
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:25, archived)
THAT'S RIGHT, ALAN HERE HAS MADE AN OBVIOUS WANK JOKE
top marks for spotting it
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:47, archived)
top marks for spotting it
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:47, archived)
I think he just didn't get it and was wondering if I was planning on gatecrashing your gaff on Sunday
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:59, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:59, archived)
Learning to sight read music
I really have regressed to being a teenager again. I'm living with my parents and they're taking the piss out of the awful noises I'm making.
Gonna crack open a bottle of wine in a bit. Then I'll give the other half a call - he's about to start working in a pop-up hospital helping turn 'ronas over. It takes a team of ten to do it, apparently, with all the tubes and wires running into people. Either that or they're very fat. Either way it'll probably be traumatic and deeply unpleasant but at least he's had his first jab well over a week ago which means he'll be well on the way to some level of immunity soon and will get a second one in a couple of weeks.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:54, archived)
I really have regressed to being a teenager again. I'm living with my parents and they're taking the piss out of the awful noises I'm making.
Gonna crack open a bottle of wine in a bit. Then I'll give the other half a call - he's about to start working in a pop-up hospital helping turn 'ronas over. It takes a team of ten to do it, apparently, with all the tubes and wires running into people. Either that or they're very fat. Either way it'll probably be traumatic and deeply unpleasant but at least he's had his first jab well over a week ago which means he'll be well on the way to some level of immunity soon and will get a second one in a couple of weeks.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 15:54, archived)
Then stop being so easy to talk to
I really feel like you understand me
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:08, archived)
I really feel like you understand me
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:08, archived)
Still looks good, but..my blood runs cold my memory has just been sold my angel is a jew
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:35, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:35, archived)
How do they chop the foreskin off if it has no genitals, I'm confused
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:46, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:46, archived)
haha, she got a raw 'Deal' here eh guy's?!!
guy's...?
where are you, guy's?
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:00, archived)
guy's...?
where are you, guy's?
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:00, archived)
I have just found out that Patricia Morrison (bassist of late era, shit Sisters of Mercy fame) is now married to Dave Vanian of the Damned
Riveting stuff
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:09, archived)
Riveting stuff
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:09, archived)
Living apart to reduce the risk to you, or your parents need the company?
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:06, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:06, archived)
nah, gary's husband found out he's gay and threw him out
can you believe it?
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:09, archived)
can you believe it?
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:09, archived)
well I think it's dreadful, you poor man
you'd think in this day and age this sort of thing wouldn't happen any more
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:16, archived)
you'd think in this day and age this sort of thing wouldn't happen any more
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:16, archived)
I did a couple of those nasal swap tests before Christmas
and came back to Wales, originally just for the duration of the holiday but then it all went a bit crazy and we all thought I may as well stay here instead of going back to London. I'll sneak back over the border sometime next month. By then the whole adherence to rules will have collapsed anyway so I should be able to get away with it.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:11, archived)
and came back to Wales, originally just for the duration of the holiday but then it all went a bit crazy and we all thought I may as well stay here instead of going back to London. I'll sneak back over the border sometime next month. By then the whole adherence to rules will have collapsed anyway so I should be able to get away with it.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:11, archived)
Hopefully in a month's time the overwhelming will have eased off a bit
Ridiculous that they built these nightingales without considering there might need to be actual staff in them
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:16, archived)
Ridiculous that they built these nightingales without considering there might need to be actual staff in them
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:16, archived)
well the good news is that with the freedom of movement laws we can easily recruit people from the EU
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:20, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:20, archived)
Perhaps we can train up all these ex bar staff who don't want to learn "cyber"
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:41, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:41, archived)
does a pop-up hospital fold flat into a book when you're not using it?
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:10, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 16:10, archived)
making bedsocks for my nephews
and trying to decide what to have for dinner
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:26, archived)
and trying to decide what to have for dinner
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:26, archived)
thinking of something that i can incorporate quail's eggs into
bought them yesterday and, apart from boiling them, i don't know how i'm going to have them
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:40, archived)
bought them yesterday and, apart from boiling them, i don't know how i'm going to have them
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:40, archived)
Incubate them until they hatch, raise them, kill them, then have two quails.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:44, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:44, archived)
apparently they are more likely to breed if you stroke them on the head
pat those bantams
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:02, archived)
pat those bantams
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:02, archived)
mini black pudding/panko scotch eggs
you're welcome
(you might want to bulk out the meal a little bit though)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:58, archived)
you're welcome
(you might want to bulk out the meal a little bit though)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 17:58, archived)
got any sausages? a black pudding/sausagemeat mix is easier to work with
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:03, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:03, archived)
i have indeed
got a couple of pounds of classic pork saussies from the butcher's yesterday. about a 60/40 split in favour of sausage meat would work best, i think
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:10, archived)
got a couple of pounds of classic pork saussies from the butcher's yesterday. about a 60/40 split in favour of sausage meat would work best, i think
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 18:10, archived)
Kind of wish I'd shouted THREADWASTE like a "board nazi"
oh well, too late now
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 10:47, archived)
oh well, too late now
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 10:47, archived)
Let's bitch about him so he has to make a new account to reply with
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 10:48, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 10:48, archived)
he's been trying to get his account deleted for about a month, having accidentally given out personal details from it
after weeks of ignored requests he resorted to posting on the main board, it finally did the trick
he'll be back soon with a new a/c
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 11:43, archived)
after weeks of ignored requests he resorted to posting on the main board, it finally did the trick
he'll be back soon with a new a/c
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 11:43, archived)
Yo Rich.
Dunno if it's up your street but I read Amos Tutola's The Palm Wine drinkard. It was apparently the first African book published in English outside of Africa, it's a nice story about a quest full of folktales. Would recommend.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 11:58, archived)
Dunno if it's up your street but I read Amos Tutola's The Palm Wine drinkard. It was apparently the first African book published in English outside of Africa, it's a nice story about a quest full of folktales. Would recommend.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 11:58, archived)
what, so you can't just delete your own account when you want to?
that's some kind of wack
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 12:27, archived)
that's some kind of wack
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 12:27, archived)
Web 0.1
Thankfully, there's a fully-staffed 24-hour mod helpdesk available to resolve these and any other issues.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 12:29, archived)
Thankfully, there's a fully-staffed 24-hour mod helpdesk available to resolve these and any other issues.
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 12:29, archived)
Woah, one thing at a time, they've had to spend the last 12 years redesigning the ignore function
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 12:34, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 12:34, archived)
can you get rob to delete facebook as well please, loads of personal details on that
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:03, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:03, archived)
I don't get why 1 in 100 infected in London is newsworthy
I thought it was like 1 in 30 the other day
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:19, archived)
I thought it was like 1 in 30 the other day
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:19, archived)
Major incident declared because the rate is down to a third of the estimate last week?
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:33, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:33, archived)
This is getting reminiscent of Omg UK Terrism Alert Level from a few years back
the public are just going to get exhausted from reading constant "no, everything is even WORSE today" headlines, and stop giving a shit
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:35, archived)
the public are just going to get exhausted from reading constant "no, everything is even WORSE today" headlines, and stop giving a shit
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:35, archived)
I blame all those selfish 'lol get on the substantials' wankers and their cavalier attitude to human lives
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:38, archived)
( , Fri 8 Jan 2021, 13:38, archived)
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