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anything good happened to any of you undeserving gobshite's today?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:14, archived)
Had a good Teams call with the nurse prescribers for a service we provide.
It's been crushingly obvious for years that they aren't following their own protocol, and it was quite satisfying to hear them blithely admitting as much without even realising.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:24, archived)
I've got 4 more students
So I might be able to pay the rent and eat something this month
(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:30, archived)
you eat your students?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:31, archived)
That's a good idea actually
I might as well add cannibalism to my list of sins.
(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:32, archived)
Along with sex crimes?

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:42, archived)
Sorry there's a line

(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:25, archived)
Roll up a note then big bollocks

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:29, archived)
All students taste the same

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:45, archived)
I have no sense of smell and when I used to lecture I just assumed they all smelt like sausage rolls

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:53, archived)
I had a Teams call where I flopped my cock out
and said "take this offline"
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:30, archived)
Were they able to see it?

(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:31, archived)
It was pixelated of course

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:42, archived)
They could practically smell it

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:46, archived)
It's not 12 inches
But it certainly smells like a foot
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:52, archived)
actual lol

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 20:25, archived)
Mmm, cheesy.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 21 Sep 2023, 21:56, archived)
Ian Botham's Footpenis

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 18:10, archived)
Schwarzenegger's next comeback film has its standout trailer clip

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:32, archived)
Get away from da choppa

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:49, archived)
Alright, Jerry Sadowitz

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:42, archived)
Got up, walked the dog, showered, breakfast and work
Am now in the middle of cooking dinner. Courgette Lasagne if anyone is interested
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:58, archived)
I made a very good bolognese joke down there, but it went over everyone's heads.
I mean, I'm not going to go on and on about it, but I feel it's worth raising again.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:03, archived)
It pasta me by I am afraid

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:11, archived)
Alright Joe Dolce, stop being a terrible racist please

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:42, archived)
#mindyourlanguage#

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 20:15, archived)
Low maintenance offices tonight
Which is good, as I had to do overtime again
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:54, archived)
Overtime sucks
Do you get paid for overtime?
(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:57, archived)
Yes
But as I'm only part-time and still on universal credit, they take £5.50 out of my benefits for every £10 I earn
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 20:02, archived)
I don't understand ....

(Bou-, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:49, archived)

I installed a catflap.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 21:46, archived)
You must be filthy rich!

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 23:34, archived)
Oooh_cattraversal

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:30, archived)
Remember to put your seven bins out.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 17:53, archived)
Seven? Why so many?

(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:05, archived)
IT'S THE LAW

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:43, archived)
The ancient egyptians postulated seven souls
Top soul, and the first to leave at the moment of death, is Ren, the secret name
This corresponds to my director
He directs the film of your life from conception to death
The secret name is the title of your film
When you die, that's where Ren came in
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:09, archived)
WTFAYBOA?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:10, archived)
Ren taghost

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 23:52, archived)
Not all at once
Alternate weeks for blue and green bins, kerbside collection only, please have your bins ready by 6am on day of collection, over filled bins will not be collected, garden waste for subscribers only, non recyclable items must be bagged, paper and cardboard should be clean and flat, no foil, no loitering, bill stickers will be prosecuted, stick a deck chair up your nose, dance you monkeys dance!
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:40, archived)
We are going to Paris in the Summer school holidays
Any suggestions as to where to visit?
So far it is Park Asterix which is apparently better than the Disney one
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 11:33, archived)
is Disney Asterix a bit like Disney Plus?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 11:37, archived)
Don't be a silly billy

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 11:46, archived)
yeah, Italy

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 11:55, archived)
The missus lived in Paris for a year as part of her degree
Away from the touristy centre it is a shithole
Reminds me of the outskirts of Leeds
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:00, archived)
that's true of a lot of famously beautiful cities
about half of Bologna is basically an industrial estate, not that you'd ever know as a tourist unless you got very, very lost
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:11, archived)
Even parts of Runcorn are a bit shit!

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:13, archived)
No they are not. Have you ever been to this luscious country?

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:25, archived)
He said parts of Runcorn. The other parts are total shit

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:36, archived)
There are ZERO shit parts

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:40, archived)
terrible bullying of bumless
/ac
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:42, archived)
🐢🔌 🪦

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:44, archived)
:*(

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:23, archived)
no :(

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:31, archived)
^shit parts Nugent

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:53, archived)
Is Runcorn its own country?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:48, archived)
That's the correct name for a place which is full of cunts, I think.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:50, archived)
BINGO.
I am king
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:51, archived)
+a fuc+ +wanker

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:03, archived)
I LIKE THIS!

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:19, archived)

LIKE THIS AM A FUCKING WANKER
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:25, archived)
I LIKE THIS!

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:45, archived)
About half of Bologna is mince, that's what you're saying?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:28, archived)
yeah, if you think 'an industrial estate' and 'mince' are synonymous
you massive fucking industrial estater
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:24, archived)
'mince' is Scottish slang for 'rubbish', perhaps the joke got lost in translation
www.scotslanguage.com/articles/view/id/4712
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 16:19, archived)
because bolognese is made with mince, you see.
I can explain further if you still don't get it.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:23, archived)
bolognese sauce is typical of the city of Bologna

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 18:30, archived)
The sauce, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:37, archived)
tggi

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 19:04, archived)
The Louvre is nice
I think it's free entry on Tuesdays
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:28, archived)
That’s two for tuesdays at domino’s you are thinking about m8

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:29, archived)
Gorgonzola lols

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:47, archived)
Fuck off

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:52, archived)
Gorgonzolols?

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 21 Sep 2023, 17:51, archived)
always wash your hands after going to the louvre

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 15:30, archived)
Pigalle

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:32, archived)
I remember it from ages ago
Apparently it's a bit less seedy now
/chat I mean
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:56, archived)

/chat a failed Garden Centre
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:00, archived)
idiot you made me laugh

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:38, archived)
I love walking around Mont Matre and the sacre coeur
if you fancy a walk through the pere lachaise cemetary that's pretty ace unless you don't fancy walking around a cemetary
musee d'orsay is a great art gallery
(piss and shit, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:48, archived)
Ta

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:49, archived)
It is worth it for the tourist stuff
The Louvre was ace
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:58, archived)
Try the catacombs

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 13:57, archived)
Grooming place for felines?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:23, archived)
Never been to Paris so I can't tell you, sorry:)

(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:56, archived)
thank you for your contribution

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:31, archived)
i mean, you could pretend

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:55, archived)
Guy Savoy
thirteen-course menu, 570 euros per person (without wine)
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:22, archived)
I think not

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:39, archived)
Le Smég

(Runcorn shitty limits, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 15:36, archived)
The alamo

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 15:54, archived)
I remember it

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 16:07, archived)
enterprise have better prices

(piss and shit, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 16:18, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 7:24, archived)
Bollocks out Thursday
For the gentleman boarders
Minges out for the ladies
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 7:46, archived)
Bit biologically essentialist, mVIII.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:21, archived)
Do we have real lady boarders?
With all the lady bits and pieces
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:23, archived)
Don't be ridiculous

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:40, archived)
I've got them
They just don't work
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:41, archived)
Lazy sods

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:47, archived)
pissing it down here

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 7:51, archived)
Fuck you

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:40, archived)
Bit rude

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:48, archived)
Morning
Trapped wind in the hernia is a painful way to wake up
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 7:54, archived)
I think my sister has that.
Her stomach bloats up like a balloon.
(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:10, archived)
This one's higher up
I had an umbilical hernia, that one almost killed me. This one is only small, but trapped wind hurts like a bastard
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:17, archived)
I can imagine
The gas keeps building and has nowhere to go
My sister got some tablets from the doctor that released the gas. Maybe you can ask?
(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:43, archived)
Buscopan seems to do the trick
It's just painful when I wake up
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:45, archived)
It's good that you have something that works reasonably well
But I can imagine the pain is worse in the morning when you haven't passed any gas the whole night.
(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:54, archived)
It is when the cat jumps on my chest

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:40, archived)
Ouch

(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:02, archived)
Nightfarts are a thing

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:40, archived)
No wonder I wake up in a cloud of stench

(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 12:04, archived)
Buscopan is pretty good

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:24, archived)

b3ta.com/search/talk?q=buscopan+are+shit
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 11:51, archived)
Hebden Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:06, archived)
Texture like sollocks

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:26, archived)
Rich old hippy joint
Lol joint
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:25, archived)
Good morning !

(Bou-, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:09, archived)
Spammer

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:37, archived)
Spammer

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:15, archived)
Evening bollocks to you all
I'm in Hebden Bridge again. Don't stand on ceremony.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:22, archived)
*stalks*
Pretty town
2.5 hours from Pisa
Be afraid

JOKING FOR HEAVENS SAKE/ Bou stereotype joke
(Bou-, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:32, archived)
I've stalked worse

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:53, archived)
You socially engineered your way into being able to call someone up at work?
My soulmate
(Bou-, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:04, archived)
Hey whoa there

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:10, archived)
I think that was the event that got South Africa blocked from accessing b3ta
Rob had just got sick of dealing with her shit and went nuclear.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 21:53, archived)
and yet many other b3ta users poison the well and go unpunished.
Rob's randomly-applied hands-on approach reaping the rewards, whether you get banned or FP'd (or both) is entirely at the whim of a cunt who stopped caring about this place 15 years ago.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 22:40, archived)
I agree with this toxic cunt ^

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 23:26, archived)
Please stop replying to my posts.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 8:27, archived)
I do not consent to whatever this is.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:33, archived)
She was stalking and harassing people outside the confines of b3ta and the internet
I'm not sure what you're talking about but I doubt it gets much worse than what she did.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 9:02, archived)
tell that to Hexachordal

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 14:32, archived)
way ahead of you here

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 21 Sep 2023, 17:22, archived)
Is that the bit between the balls & the bumhole?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:34, archived)
lol

(Bou-, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:35, archived)
That is precisely where it is

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:51, archived)
aka 'the Runcorn'

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 21:43, archived)
Heh, gonna be using that in future.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 21 Sep 2023, 7:39, archived)
Are the trains on strike again?

(Planearm, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:51, archived)
I don't fucking know or care

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:52, archived)
What else is there in HB?

(Planearm, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:53, archived)
Cake

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:55, archived)
And the Trades Club

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:56, archived)
Trousers and lesbians

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:59, archived)
and arseboon dilbaro

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:00, archived)
arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:02, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 21:27, archived)
mofaha

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 21:32, archived)
^trainsphobe

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 21:41, archived)
I hope so

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 22:07, archived)
Correct me if I'm wrong
but I think you'll find it's the train drivers that strike and not the actual trains
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 23:05, archived)

Ever since the chattering classes invaded Hebden Bridge
And priced the likes of me and mine
To the pots of the Pennine Ridge
To South East Wales I was forced to flee
And now I have no job
That's why tonight I'm sitting on top of Lord Hereford's Knob
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:01, archived)
Old Geoff Davies just died
You wonder who'll put the Biccies records out now.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:03, archived)
Shit I typed that and there's people next to me talking about his funeral arrangements

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:04, archived)
leave no witnesses

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 21:17, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:51, archived)
Loads of lezzers there

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:04, archived)
They serve good cake

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:04, archived)
21 bollock salute

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:10, archived)
Is Hitler present?

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:12, archived)
I can't say.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:19, archived)
he is always with us

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 22:08, archived)

When the evening bollocks
When the evening bollocks
When the evening bollocks goes down
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 20:57, archived)
pushing the best thread in b3ta history down the board
hi knob's
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:20, archived)
not at work until Saturday and it's grim out so am doing my first roast dinner this side of the summer
seems weird having it on a weds and in the evening but we'll see how it goes.

I guess what I'm really trying to say here is 'shit on a dog's tits'.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:22, archived)
I thought it was always 'grim out' in England
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 That's why you're all so grumpy
(Bou-, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:38, archived)
It was glorious the w/e before last. I swam in the sea.
And our late spring and early summer were wonderful. That's when the actual 'summer' happens in the UK these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:43, archived)
I shouldn't poke fun at you.
Italian winters are pretty grim too.
I miss the South African weather.
I do not miss the South African government nor the loadshedding.
(Bou-, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:47, archived)
we're grumpy because we're all upset that the Boer War isn't still on
no offence
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:48, archived)
Yeah maybe you can win this time
;)
(Bou-, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 18:09, archived)
we invented concentration camps during that war
feels like a win to me

#ThanksChurchill
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:56, archived)
I'm defrosting some beef stew

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:43, archived)
+as I type this

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:48, archived)
alright

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:37, archived)
eat shit, dickstain

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:48, archived)
With all these strong winds, I'm worried about the caravan in our garden!


We didn't have one yesterday....
(Planearm, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 17:40, archived)
Classic!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 18:01, archived)
Amazon restricts authors from self-publishing more than three books a day after AI concerns
really clamping down
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 19:02, archived)
it's windy 'eh eff' here today, looks like some major league wazzing is on its way
what else is on its way, you can't say the Proclaimers
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 13:15, archived)
dollar, dollar bill, y'all

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 13:25, archived)
I fucking love Jimmy Spicer, he was gr8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 14:08, archived)

picer avile
was gr8 fixed it for me
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 15:06, archived)
+to milk a cow blindfolded

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:22, archived)
A six-pack of whoop-ass

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 13:28, archived)
a big old bowl of do nothing

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:08, archived)
The Storm
*taps Q badge*
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 13:30, archived)
WWG1WGA, m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 14:03, archived)
Crane drivers are gonna get winded off again
Lucky buggers still get paid
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 13:47, archived)
Money grabbing twats
My dad had to work on scaffolding when those knobs got paid full price for doing bugger all
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 14:09, archived)
I get it, but the way I see it they're all getting fucked by the people who do least and get most

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:15, archived)
that is me m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:23, archived)
True 1%, or 1% true?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:35, archived)
Loads of fucking blow mate

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 14:04, archived)
oh no

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:23, archived)
o pls just say no

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 16:36, archived)
only 9 5ths harpic

(piss and shit, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 18:40, archived)
Been a bit busy, quick bollocks to keep you going, gotta run

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 9:12, archived)
There's been a run on the bollocks, everyone's trying to get their sperm out

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 9:23, archived)
spunk on a sparrow

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 9:48, archived)
Blow a bullfinch

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 10:19, archived)
Lol bollocks

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 9:58, archived)
Bollocks are funny

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 9:58, archived)
The Doors'zzzzzzz

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 10:07, archived)
Depeche Mode'zzzzzzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 10:15, archived)
A light morning teabagging, as it were

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 10:05, archived)
Bag lol

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 10:18, archived)
Thanks m8, needed that

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 10:10, archived)
You need a quick bollocks?
Lol
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 10:20, archived)
Doesn’t everyone?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 11:22, archived)
I think so

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 11:31, archived)
I prefer a slower bollocks
Just me xxxx
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 11:36, archived)
When you’re a busy professional in a high-powered job, a quick bollocks is all you have time for

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 11:38, archived)
A good bollocks these days is hard to find

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 12:02, archived)
morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 7:30, archived)
Waggle Wednesday!
I see Gregg's have got confused with Richmond and Richmond upon Thames
Richmond is rather nice we stopped there last time we were in Whitby
Have you ever got confused with stuff?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 7:53, archived)
Black Star on here innit

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:03, archived)

ar rap
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:48, archived)
Richmond is indeed V nice. It's Rishi Sunak's constituency.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:04, archived)
Well it is no Runcorn

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:16, archived)
the fucking stupid fucking bald stupid cunt

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:06, archived)
terrible bullying of JMG

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:08, archived)
Bald, dole, lives with his mum

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:09, archived)
morning mingetits

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:05, archived)
Bit rainy here, weirdly warm tho

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:11, archived)
climate change ,yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:16, archived)
alright George Monbiot,
tell us more about how Russell Brand was the best thing that has happened to the left in years
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:18, archived)
Trial by Media
Good. The stupid rapey cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:21, archived)
Spanishfly, you mean

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:28, archived)
Throw him in a vat of molten agar and see if he can claw his way out before it solidifies, you mean?
Great idea.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 9:22, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8384586
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 9:22, archived)
TBF that was a long time ago.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 20 Sep 2023, 11:51, archived)
Yes, and he did renounce that opinion a year or two back.
Still a fucking stupid fucking cunt for entertaining that rapey embodiment of the Dunning-Kruger Effect in the first place though.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 11:53, archived)
morning wanksmell

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:11, archived)
morning shitcock

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:49, archived)
Poo poo willy willy bum drawers

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 8:50, archived)
Official sympathy request thread
I have a minging cold.
Got it from some cunt sneezing everywhere at a gig on the weekend.
It's like super-hayfever symptoms with stinging eyes and dripping nose.
I can still taste/smell and think clearly so I don't think it's mad bat disease, but I'm still quite debilitated because I am a man.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:03, archived)
You called me a bigot so I'm withholding my witch advice
In fact I think I gave it to you for calling me a bigot
(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:12, archived)
Don't take it personally,
every human being in the world except brb is a frightful bigot who deserves to die and let him enjoy his planet in peace.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:36, archived)
Thanks for the heads up.
I thought it was just me.
(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:52, archived)
Don't listen to porky, xe's still butthurt that I got them mixed up with some other dull /links wanker.
Calling you a bigot was merely continuing the joke set up by nohaha. It was some highlarious interweb bantz and no mistake.

I do call out actual bigotry around these parts, and the anti-woke mob take issue with that because they are actual bigots who actually should actually kill themselves.

You should instinctively know when I am jokingly calling someone a bigot and actually calling out a bigot, but if for whatever reason you aren't sure feel free to ask and I shall gently mock you for it.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 19:05, archived)
You should know when I am teasing you for calling me a bigot
;)
I hope you feel better soon
(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 19:12, archived)
"everyone says I'm a joke, here's why"

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 19:12, archived)
But surely I wouldn't know why anyone thinks I'm a joke due to my lack of self awareness.
Get your story straight and try to be less bitter.
x
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 20:45, archived)
fucking scope

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 22:59, archived)
I think they're called fleshlights.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 23:07, archived)
sure thing scopey

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 23:10, archived)
Saying that in a Penfold voice

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 23:19, archived)
Struggling to remember that but reluctant to give up and look it up, was it Terry Scott?
I looked it up, I had no idea there was a new version. so which voice was it, Scott or Eldon?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 23:41, archived)
I'd forgotten about that, that's how incensed I was and am.
Not seen xem post for ages, maybe they've got me on 2.0.

Anyway, how can you possibly know what someone else "should instinctively know" unless you're imagining their positions?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 20:08, archived)
Adequate socialisation and existing on the most densely populated end(s) of the autism spectrum.
nohaha has you on ignore? You must be a massive cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 20:41, archived)
Here's a little sympathy




sympathy
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 19:09, archived)
Cheers Dick.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 20:41, archived)
Oxo cube in hot water with lots of black pepper
Works wonders
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 20:24, archived)
+ straight up the bum

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 20:30, archived)
Not got any oxo cubes, would hash do instead?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 20:42, archived)
No, that will just take the rest of your energy
Chicken soup will do, or at a pinch, chicken stock with chilli sauce
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 21:01, archived)
Oh right yeah, no.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 23:07, archived)
you are all a bunch of utter fanny's
what have you got to say about THAT
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 16:49, archived)
WANKSMELL

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 16:59, archived)
*finally* someone talking sense

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:41, archived)
say it with fannies

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:03, archived)
it with fannies

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:47, archived)
Like a ventriloquist act?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 23:53, archived)
You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:06, archived)
GUNTSTENCH AND PISSWANK

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:08, archived)
Saw them supportzzz

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:09, archived)
picks up the ricezzzzzzz

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:28, archived)
No m8, u r the fanny lol

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:27, archived)
that fanni'e is you, you fucking fanni'e

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:47, archived)
You're in legendary jangly indie band Teenage Fannyclub

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:12, archived)
^ Fanny Rampling

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:21, archived)
^ Fanny Dire

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:21, archived)
^ Fanny La Rue

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:48, archived)
sniff it

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:47, archived)
it honks like a fishmonger's bin

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:19, archived)
my smellend, I mean

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 18:52, archived)
Just watched that Barbie film. Is it terrible or am I just an awful misogynist?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 23:57, archived)
It can be both

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 20 Sep 2023, 0:26, archived)
Nearly time for the LUNCH THREAD!
Prawn salad here :)
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 11:45, archived)
working a couple of nights
still lounging in bed yum yum
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 11:54, archived)
\o/

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:06, archived)
Tofu on a bed of spinach
#vegan #wellness #greta
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:02, archived)
Pippy Longstocking?
Lol Stocking
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:06, archived)
Turtle Power

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:14, archived)
no :(

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:18, archived)
What have you got to give it some flavour?

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:18, archived)
bone flakes

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:18, archived)
They're grrrrreat!

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:23, archived)
a fucking massive steak

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:28, archived)
have bone flakes with that

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:55, archived)
Yay! A fellow vegan

(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 16:49, archived)
where's drimble? fuck this.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:10, archived)
drimble never really existed
shared psychosis
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:16, archived)
ok then where's the shared psychosis? fuck this.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:17, archived)
arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:45, archived)
fuck

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:56, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:21, archived)
Bag of Space Raiders and a can of Tango
might have a Freddo too
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:21, archived)
Classy

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:32, archived)
fuck off lord fucking snooty with your fucking choccy frog no-one is impressed, so what, i can afford loads if i want

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:58, archived)
LOOK AT ME EVERYONE I HAVE A FREDDO

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:58, archived)
You made me feel bad
I put it in the food bank box
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 13:06, archived)
Food wank box, am I right?????

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 13:32, archived)
You're the sort that goes there for the desperate teenage mothers in their tight Nike pro shorts and crop tops from Primark

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 13:57, archived)
Russell Brand, you mean.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 14:04, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8384287
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 14:06, archived)
-Brand + Athletic

(piss and shit, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 15:37, archived)
You say that like it's a bad thing.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 15:06, archived)
LOOK AT ME EVERYONE I DONATED A FREDDO

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 15:00, archived)
Did you know Legolas doesn't say a single word to Freddo in all three films?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 19 Sep 2023, 13:40, archived)
'Gollum bit my finger' is my favourite ever viral internet video

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 14:25, archived)
baby elf doo doo doo doo doo doo

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 14:58, archived)
Fake! No ring.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 15:14, archived)
one does not simply lay in the tub

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 15:24, archived)
shit in a bag

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:21, archived)
I will just pop one out

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:33, archived)
bolognese sarnie

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:35, archived)
Might have some meatballs

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:35, archived)
bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:39, archived)
Balls lol
Pork chops for dinner with cheesy mash
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:47, archived)
Dinner will be chicken risotto

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 14:02, archived)
Tosser, go away

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:50, archived)
Smeggy smeg!

(Runcorn shitty limits, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:55, archived)
SMEGGY SMEGGY SMEG SMEG!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 13:32, archived)
No appetite
So the trip to the foodbank was a bit pointless.
Although I do now have a choc dip, various pastries, and a pack of custard creams to swap for a beer.
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 19 Sep 2023, 13:41, archived)
not to be a patronising cunt or anything
but do you have a paypal or cashapp or something so me and the other pricks on here can put something towards a new phone or whatever?
(piss and shit, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 15:40, archived)
Good on you
A good heart
(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 16:46, archived)
Carbon-neutral sustainable morning thread

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 7:18, archived)
CROTCHROT

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 8:04, archived)
Mingegunge

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 8:22, archived)
Morning
*pollutes*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 8:04, archived)
Pollutes back
Poos the bed :(
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 8:23, archived)
Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 8:38, archived)
Fellow Pastafarian :)

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 9:48, archived)
Bollocks
Lol bollocks
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 8:22, archived)
Getting out of hand this guys. Totally out of order!

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 8:23, archived)
Meh

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 8:24, archived)
Now these loony lefty greens expect us to be woke in the morning

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 8:39, archived)
Same great thread, now with 60% less spastic

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 9:46, archived)
Fewer

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 10:54, archived)
40%

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:10, archived)
https://www.scope.org.uk/donate/

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 17:52, archived)
Green morning to ya
:)
(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 11:22, archived)
bollocks, fuck off, wanksmell, smegg or anything like that thread

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:38, archived)
GUNTWAN'K

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:39, archived)
Hello Richard. Pleasure to read your thread.
I have just made a lovely curry and I am reminded that I have your recipes to respond to.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:47, archived)
i've got a recipe you can have

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:52, archived)
IBYHYDOB

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:53, archived)
*waggles eyebrows*

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 22:05, archived)
YOUR BLOCKED

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 1:10, archived)
hullo mr civilised
I would be delighted to hear further details about your curry. I have a karahi lamb recipe which is absolutely superb if you add about 3hrs to the claimed cook time. Where I live the butchers have 'lamb' and 'baby lamb' which the smeggers seem to think are two different things. This may explain the additional cook time.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 21:04, archived)
halal, is it meat you're looking for
etc
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 21:08, archived)
That's uncalled for
:)
(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 11:23, archived)
You would say that

(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 11:27, archived)
I love teaching English
But the parents do my head in.

They help their kids with the placement test and then when the kid doesn't understand the lesson they blame me.

Edit: please don't say bollocks, fuck off, wanksmell, smegg or anything like that, I'm not in the mood for it.


What job do you do and tell me something shit about it.
(Bou-, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:10, archived)
🏀🏀, 🍆 ➡️, 💦👃,🪱♏️🥚

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:33, archived)
Surely 🍆🧀 would have been better for that last one?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:17, archived)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:27, archived)
At least this is original

(Bou-, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:59, archived)
bollocks, fuck off, wanksmell, smegg

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:35, archived)
You would say that

(Bou-, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:01, archived)
Steady on

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:48, archived)
who the fuck is this cunt?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:53, archived)
arseboon dilbaro

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:55, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8384418
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 21:10, archived)
I'm a comedian and wellness guru.
The shittest thing about my job is being accused of being a rapey nonce in a co-ordinated attack by the mainstream media because I tell people THE TRUTH
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:40, archived)
'it's a societal dichotomy Jeremeyyyyy'
*rapes*
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:51, archived)
People also ask
What does it mean if someone is verbose?
verbose \ver-BOHSS\ adjective. 1 : containing more words than necessary : wordy; also : impaired by wordiness. 2 : given to wordiness.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:52, archived)
JEREMEYYYYY

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:52, archived)
Russell Brand finally stepped on the wrong toes

(Bou-, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:49, archived)
no they said he raped them

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:17, archived)
With his toes

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:49, archived)
Hi I'm Andrew Tate and I feel bad for you bro

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:11, archived)
Can I say Hitler?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:43, archived)
anything like that

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:47, archived)
bollocks, fuck off, wanksmell, smegg
dmedff, meh, arseboon dilbaroo prick wanker
pudi pudi pudi pudi pudi
(piss and shit, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:52, archived)
scott,

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:53, archived)
meh,

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:29, archived)
b3ta

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:34, archived)
anal

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:43, archived)
You would say that

(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 11:24, archived)
What if my job involves bollocks, fucking off, wanksmell, smegma and everything like that?

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:13, archived)
What if wanksmell and smeg were merely two facets of the same underlying phenomenon?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:19, archived)
Is this board for male prostitutes?

(Bou-, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:50, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8384422
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:52, archived)
Not exclusively.

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 19:56, archived)
your view of gender is clearly very simplistic

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:13, archived)
Fucking hell, Bou, now you've upset mofaha with your cisgendered bigotry.
I can see why you were banned. Fucking hell.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 21:45, archived)
I'm okay with that

(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 11:25, archived)
Cleaner
It's all shit
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:18, archived)
I wanted that job but I have to speak Italian

(Bou-, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 11:26, archived)
GP. I have to do lots of prostate exams and often when I pull my finger out it comes out with a bit of poo on it.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 23:29, archived)
wear a glove
hth
(piss and shit, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 6:51, archived)
RIP Barry Bennell

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 16:47, archived)
wiv da choirboys

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 17:02, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8384372
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 17:07, archived)
When Sidney Cooke carks it I'll be proper upset

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 17:08, archived)
What about Sydnee Capri?

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 21:00, archived)
Benny Barrel is dead?!!

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 17:49, archived)
I know :'(

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 18:09, archived)
oh man Slimfast is reem

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:17, archived)
Right. And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:21, archived)
you 🥷🏻 fuck

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 20:21, archived)
got my 'prick off an advert' mixed up

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Sep 2023, 12:45, archived)
Bored of that now

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 14:06, archived)
b3ta, you mean

(piss and shit, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 14:15, archived)
Spanishfly he’s a dickhead

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 14:16, archived)
Fuck off you retard

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 14:17, archived)
Get fucked.
Help me with contexto prick
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 14:25, archived)
I don't know what you're talking about but I wish you'd shut the fuck up

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 14:49, archived)
Mondays are not the most interesting of days

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 14:56, archived)
No more or less than any other day
I mean, I am always happy to wake and see what the day holds. Sometimes I know some of things that will happen, sometimes not.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 15:02, archived)
WANKSMELL

(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 15:11, archived)
The new fragrance from Russell Brand

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 15:37, archived)
Bollocks

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 15:41, archived)
Balls

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 16:14, archived)
Big hairy plums

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 16:18, archived)
Top shagger
Would shag again A++++++
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 16:36, archived)
Has anyone said WANKSMELL yet?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 12:22, archived)
WANKSMELL

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 12:23, archived)
Didn't want to steal your thunder

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 12:56, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 13:00, archived)
Someone help me out with contexto.
I got 7 away with house. And now stuck.
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 13:12, archived)
Bingo

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 13:15, archived)
8366 away.
Nice shout though👹
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 13:26, archived)
Russell Brand a comedian?
Hmmmm
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 9:08, archived)
Rape is funny

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 9:13, archived)
It isn't
At all
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 10:00, archived)
I know that dickhead.

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 10:01, archived)
And his name is spanishfly

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 10:18, archived)
You. You said it. You did.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 12:44, archived)
Don't be a dick

(Bou-, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 10:19, archived)
: (

(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 13:14, archived)
I never could stand him, and now he's a rapist, just goes to show

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 9:21, archived)
He is an annoying prick yeah

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 10:01, archived)
spanishfly, we mean

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 10:15, archived)
And here I thought he was just a loudmouth prick

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 9:24, archived)
I refer you to my previous comment

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 10:02, archived)
b3ta a comedy website? Hmm

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 9:36, archived)
Lols

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 10:02, archived)
He’s a cunty wunt

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 9:42, archived)
I refer you to previous comments

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 10:03, archived)
JAIL-LIFE!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 12:43, archived)
I get up when I want except on most days
when I get rudely awakened by the prison guards
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 13:13, archived)
-prison guards
+buggery
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 13:37, archived)
Prisoners can be depraved and desperate men
but I think they'd draw the line at Brand's manky ass
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 18 Sep 2023, 15:36, archived)

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