maybe if i post queef will post and then everyone will be happy(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 20:30,
archived)
now everyone is sad you fucking wanker(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 20:45,
archived)
I'm at the mellow stage of hammered So I'm content
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 21:21,
archived)
i haven't had an booze for over a month!but enjoy yours! no judgement.
(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 22:17,
archived)
I have made myself sad Thinking about my little sister. I miss her so much.
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 22:23,
archived)
i am choosing to interpret that as that she has moved to new zealandit's really nice there, apparently.
(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 22:33,
archived)
I wish She died of cancer on Christmas day 2018. She was given 2 weeks to live in October, but swore she would see Christmas day. She did
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 22:36,
archived)
Well that thread deteriorated into tedium, time for a new one*HS2: Good?, bad?, indifferent?
alt: bollocks, smeg, arseboon dilbaro, cheers
*lack of tedium not guaranteed
(
Cheers Cheers, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 16:53,
archived)
It's never going to happen (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 16:57,
archived)
HS2 or dreary arguing on the internet?One of those is an absolute certainty
(
Cheers Cheers, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 17:01,
archived)
at least the arguments run on time(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 17:06,
archived)
i dun a big one once lol(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 17:05,
archived)
Just celeb spotted GYLES BRANDRETH exiting Harrogate Station, beat that.(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 17:30, archived)
That's why I come here Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
π»
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 17:50, archived)
would you like rob's phone number?(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 18:06,
archived)
b3ta.com/features/appeal/
(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 18:25,
archived)
is that a requirement now?because you've literally never been funny
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 18:14, archived)
I've never intended to be funnyI told you. I'm shit at banter.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 18:17, archived)
I generally support big public spending on big public transport infrastructure because fuck cars,but I am opposed to the associated high levels of corruption that artificially inflate the cost of infrastructure projects in this country. I'd like to see everyone who got a kickback from HS2 to go to prison for a long time.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 19:08,
archived)
Tories see no point in public spending if it's not to enrich their corporate allies (and consequently themselves by way of the revolving door).Even the tories can see that rail privatisation has been a dismal failure, and they don't want to go to work for a rail company after they leave politics.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 19:28,
archived)
Proportional Representation.Tories nearly always win less than 50% of the popular vote, yet nearly always win 100% of the power thanks to FPTP and gerrymandering. PR would put an abrupt end to that.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 19:41,
archived)
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 13:24, archived)
He's a complicated marnBut no one understarnds him but his worman
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 14:25, archived)
So is literally everyone here,the sad bunch of toxic cunts.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 14:05,
archived)
He seems to have reinvented himself as a bully, which is an interesting new direction.(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 14:39, archived)
That's quite a charge.Who am I bullying? How am I doing it? What power do I have over anyone here?
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 14:46,
archived)
The tone and content of your posts, online.Look back through them yourself, you toxic cunt.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 14:50, archived)
This is not a difficult argument to deconstruct."bullying
adjective
Noisily domineering; tending to browbeat others.
noun
An act of intimidating a weaker person to do something, especially such repeated coercion.Persistent acts intended to make life unpleasant for another person."
I contend that it's simply impossible for me to domineer over anyone here given that I have no authority and no credibility. So we can rule out the adjective.
WRT the noun, I'm not sure who you think the weaker person is in any of my exchanges, could you please specify?
WRT coercion, again, I have no idea who it is that I'm coercing to do anything. Even if I was trying I'm certainly not succeeding.
WRT Persistent acts intended to make life unpleasant for another person, uh, that literally describes almost every post on /talk. All I do is point out when someone's toxic banter strays into hate speech, take the piss out of the toxic cunt culture, and occasionally remind people to put their bins out.
Do you think there might be a stronger case for me being the bullied, rather than the bully? Is that a klaxon I hear?
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 15:55,
archived)
honestly tho, it's weird what you do, the aggression for attention, it seems like that's the only way you can get to feel genuinely engaged. It's a constant unpleasant background noise, your probing for angry responses. You genuinely are a troll, and you're a tragically, laughably shit one.
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 16:12,
archived)
Could you show me the part where I'm aggressive? Like maybe the bit where I call you a 'spaz'?Honestly it's weird that you value hate speech over decency, truth and honesty. It's weird that you think you're in the right as you collectively browbeat someone trying to stand up to a toxic culture of bullying and bigotry. It's weird that you should join in when a group of bullies calls out their intended victim as the bully.
Actually that isn't right. It's not weird, it's sadly predictable. Please expand upon your argument that you don't care some more.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 16:22,
archived)
I fucking hate banter.Actually that's not true, I just hate everyone here.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 15:35,
archived)
To convey the information that I experience indifference regarding the content of your various proclamations, because they are really just clumsy attempts at provocation(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 15:51,
archived)
You're either lying or you lack the self awareness to realise that by claiming not to care, you demonstrate that you do.(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 15:56,
archived)
I wonder how I'll know how to do that if the source of my knowledge is broken(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 15:00,
archived)
7 - Connect with Others: Talking to friends, family, or support groups can provide valuable perspectives and emotional support.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 15:56,
archived)
Sounds good.Support groups, especially. Doesn't have to be a group, could just be a healthcare professional or volunteer. Samaritans are excellent.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 15:58,
archived)
Breezy clackers (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 13:26,
archived)
Morning comradesHow it's this blustery morning, wet and windy?
Speaking of which what happened to Windy Pig?
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 7:05, archived)
I'm dreading another European winterSouth African winters are so mild
P.s. I wonder why I haven't been banned yet
Who are the mods here?
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 8:24, archived)
you haven't been banned because you haven't gone mentalYet
(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 9:07,
archived)
There was blanket ban for me regardlessI'm surprised that's all
Unlikely to go mental
Have got very expensive good meds now
Have got Temporal lobe epilepsy and bipolar disorder part of which is terrible rages
Been stable since a hospitalization in 2019
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 9:17, archived)
Phoning Dr. Shambolic at workI wanted to freak him out because he had bullied me relentlessly for months but I was addicted to B3ta and wouldn't leave
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 9:24, archived)
Why did you come back?It doesn't seem like a healthy thing for you to do, given all that.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 9:33, archived)
"I'm an alcoholic. I started drinking again because I like the taste."(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 12:12, archived)
Never been b& meJust naughtystepped wrongly cos of some bullshit from that nob who used to come here
I can't remember their name
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 9:53, archived)
I refer you to my previous answerPlumdozer is you you silly sausage, I really would say if I recalled
(, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 12:16, archived)
We're not allowed to know who the mods are.It's a fucking stupid situation which really does add to the toxic cuntery around here.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 14:48,
archived)
Morning Calm and dry here, but a bit chilly and strong winds later
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 9:36,
archived)
David McCalledtojesusThe one time I'm first and it's a terrible name. Fuck you McCallum.
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 0:58,
archived)
thanks for this, I'll cover for you next time(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 13:04,
archived)
I have to chair a big meeting tomorrow. It's my first time and I'm a bit nervous. Any tips?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 20:57,
archived)
Start unstacking the chairs from the back of the room and leave a shoulder gap, isle down the middle and at both sides. You'll be fine.(
mongychops, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 21:23,
archived)
Alongside your morning shit I meanSeriously just keep on top of people and enjoy yourself
A Top Hat also works wonders
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 21:47, archived)
Might have to swap our my normal webcam for one with a fisheye lens(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 23:31,
archived)
Good thinking, then you can squat-walk all the way across the desk laying an intercontinental cable and get everybody fired up(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 1:08,
archived)
Imagine everyone naked Then wank furiously
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 22:46,
archived)
It's on MS Teams so might just get away with this(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 23:30,
archived)
Don't use their chair, bring your own. That way you'll be comfy, and you can settle back and image them naked while you give your ted talk. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 1:00,
archived)
wait it's not a school is it?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 26 Sep 2023, 1:00,
archived)
hi titstain's, how ya shittinone more day then I'm on hols for a week. wooyay and pfft. u jel?
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 19:16,
archived)
That's a pretty strong reactionShe has some very weird opinions
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 19:28, archived)
Well quite. This would act to somewhat temper them.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 20:17,
archived)
I saw a tik tok of hersQuite weird
I thought I would ask you (voi) what you think
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 20:32, archived)
An explosive fountain of shit and bile(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 20:22,
archived)
She's a fucking idiot who enabled the grifter jack monroe (
mongychops, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 20:20,
archived)
i'm so honoured! you squished me like a bug!(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 19:26,
archived)
If only you had access to some sort of global information-sharing network which could help you find the answer(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 19:53, archived)
No holiday for me this year (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 20:02,
archived)
Pushing that fucking retard down the board(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 9:42,
archived)
I have a big fat bum tooBut you can't sit in one spot for ages and not get sore
Thank you for your suggestions
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 15:16, archived)
Twelve seventeen, punch in the spleen(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 12:17,
archived)
(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 12:28,
archived)
Which means I have to think about going to work And I really don't want to
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 12:31,
archived)
America, America, God shed his grace on thee(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 13:34,
archived)
That's a very old name. I remember him mainly from /board, one of those strange people who's convinced everyone needs to see their funny little peen.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 13:57,
archived)
I'm told that he spends a lot of time on Facebook posting self-aggrandising lies about his personal exploitswhich, if they were in any way true, would make Russell Brand look like Mother Teresa.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 14:07, archived)
I think he was banned from here because of meWe developed a friendship and he came to see me in South Africa. We're not talking anymore because we had a huge fight.
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 15:21, archived)
I'm not going to slag off an old friend on hereThat would be tacky
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 19:14, archived)
From hell's heart, I stab at thee; for hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 14:17, archived)
Right, right. Wanna buy a weapons system?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 14:36,
archived)
Shit on the desk to assert your dominance (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 14:38,
archived)
Precisely why you need to assert dominance (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 14:57,
archived)
Have a power pose with that(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 14:40,
archived)
Have you considered the billy/japper thing?And the bumhole/Ecstasy thing also?
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 15:06, archived)
Morning cockends What interesting things do you want to tell the internet about today?
You can say bollocks
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 7:25, archived)
I’ve done two plops today, it’s the most productive I’ll be all weekalt: bollocks
(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 7:31,
archived)
I had a crisp and lettuce sandwich with salsa for my breakfastAnd an apple
(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 7:57, archived)
Thanks for sharing, it's always refreshing when someone insists on telling you that they don't like Queen.(, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 9:19, archived)
their first album is vgthe dub version is very much excellent
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 19:12,
archived)
UB40, I genuinely do meanKevin Rowland is a colossal dicksplash
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 19:19,
archived)
But shit is not all that popular. Hmmm.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 13:24,
archived)
I'm getting a weird vibe where it feels as if in reality you really really like them and think their music is fun and inclusive. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 13:30,
archived)
mercury was an incredible frontman with a great voice and they wrote a lot of great songsnot generally my bag but come on, they were a great band.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 19:11,
archived)
Anyone who says they don't like Queen is just secretly jealous they didn't get to suck Freddie Mercury's AIDS-riddled cock while he was still alive.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 25 Sep 2023, 21:48,
archived)
Banana puddintain, total cannabinoids 37.34%(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 19:48,
archived)
I found a bag of green from about 8 months ago. All sealed. Reckon itβs still good?
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 19:57, archived)
if it was any good it wouldn't have been so carelessly treated(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 20:00,
archived)
I bought it when a bit down. Decided I didn’t fancy it as it had been a whileWent away in a draw and never touched it
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 20:03, archived)
worth a try eh, probably very dry though b3ta.com/talk/8385094
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 20:38,
archived)
HmmmI havenβt really smoked properly in about a year had bits on and off. I donβt know how I will take to itβ¦
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 20:42, archived)
mebbe just crumble up a small bud and swab it down the old 'eye of nippon' (
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 22:40,
archived)
I made gnocchi gorgonzolaVery Italian
Very delicious
Broke the bank
Now it will be beans on toast for a week.
Tell me about when you were last extravagant.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 15:29, archived)
a couple of weeks agogot myself some new bras, but they were very much needed
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 15:48,
archived)
no laughing matter when you're top heavy(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 15:53,
archived)
Me tooThey are so Flippin' expensive
But we big busted ladies need the support
I got one from China which was cheap but a bit of a disappointment
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 15:55, archived)
I can get them fairly cheap from Asdabut the wire pokes through within a couple of months, so it's not worth it. Triumph Doreen bras are about Β£25, but they're the best-selling bra in the world for a reason. Great support, thick straps, practically indestructible, unfortunately ugly with an old-fashioned name.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:10,
archived)
I passed my test in a Triumph Dolomite.(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:15,
archived)
I would love to drive(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:20,
archived)
It's not much fun nowadays.(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:21,
archived)
I'd still like the option(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:27,
archived)
I don't mind if my bras are ugly There's no-one to see them but me.
I only care about support. Big boobs are a real pain to have. People think it's funny but its not.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:24, archived)
I used to be a 50JJTriumph were the only bras that would fit me
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:27,
archived)
I am a 44ECan I order them from Amazon?
I'll go and have a look.
Thanks for the recommendation
Why did you say 'used to be'?
Did you lose weight or have them lopped off?
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:31, archived)
44EE hereI lost 17 stones, best thing I ever did. Not sure if you can get them on Amazon, but Triumph have an online shop
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:34,
archived)
Oh Smash Monkey you are THE BEST!I have just had a look at the bra and it's EXACTLY what I have been looking for!
Thank you so much!
Well done for losing all that weight!
How did you do it?
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:38, archived)
ah, I cheatedI needed reconstructive surgery and couldn't get it without losing a lot of weight, so my surgeon "doctored" my notes slightly to say that I was juuuuust in the diabetes bracket, meaning that I would be ok'd for gastric bypass surgery. Easiest surgery I've ever had!
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:42,
archived)
Fantastic!!!!!17 stone!!!!
It's not cheating- you still had to eat less! I love food but I overeat
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 17:01, archived)
I can only eat small amounts stilland when it comes to drinking, I'm a cheap date now, it goes straight to my head
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 17:15,
archived)
Got a new toaster and kettle the other weekI don't really buy much tbh we're pretty much sorted for everything
Daughter wants a horse bollocks to that
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 15:49, archived)
A HORSE?!!!!!!!Mercy me, those cost a fortune
Then there the food and stabling etc
Ouch
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 15:56, archived)
Yeah the mega rich in laws paid for her to go to boarding school Her rich posho mates have them so she wants one too
As Mr H would say 'Bollocks'
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 17:45, archived)
Is gnocchi and cheese not a cheap meal any more?(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 16:22,
archived)
Got the shits. Solutions? You canβt say delete your account and kill yourself.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 13:17, archived)
You should drink plenty of water(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 14:10,
archived)
eat cheese and boiled eggs(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 14:31,
archived)
Tubgirl yourself(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 14:31,
archived)
It depends what's causing the shitsIf it's gastroenteritis do nothing but stay away from dairy products.
If it's food poisoning get to a doctor.
If it has lasted more than 3 days get to a doctor.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 15:36, archived)
That realization came one afternoon when her young niece came into the room and abruptly squeezed the dog’s testicles. The retriever didn’t defend himself, nor did he even flinch. That’s when Mueller knew: “They’re extra special.”(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 14:07,
archived)
Captivate your taste buds with the rich and velvety taste of Ferrero Rocher.
(, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 14:55, archived)
Have a dog's cock with that(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sun 24 Sep 2023, 14:57,
archived)
hi tit'sworking today, it's alright. Out for Nepalese grub later up in Forest Gate.
what abite ye nigh?
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 14:14,
archived)
Lazing around while the boy watches telly. Pub in a bit.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 23 Sep 2023, 14:24,
archived)
One to one lessons onlineBut still exhausting because I am an introvert
(, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 15:31, archived)
She's a vigilante.She teachers wrongdoers a 'lesson they won't forget.'
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 23 Sep 2023, 16:11,
archived)
Some people have it coming to themBut ... Not a good way to do things
(, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 16:17, archived)
sounds like *someone* needs a mirror (
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 18:10,
archived)
Mum and dad got here2 lobsters 3 crabs and some sea bass
So nomnom time for dinner
(, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 14:52, archived)
oh my.were they both infested?
(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 14:56,
archived)
Do you live in an aquarium? You know those little treasure chests, are they real?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 15:18,
archived)
what is love?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 17:12,
archived)
so, what you're saying, is that your mum has got crabs?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 15:37,
archived)
sharing is caring(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 16:06,
archived)
haha, crabs can mean pubic lice!!!!!(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 18:13,
archived)
I was thinking about you earlierthere's a video of Borough Cheese Company doing the rounds on foodbible
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 15:37,
archived)
they are good peoplegood people with good cheese
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 18:12,
archived)
they were showing blue cheesewhich I really can't stand
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 18:20,
archived)
I've tried itI just don't like it
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 18:42,
archived)
sounds like *someone* got a little too cock-a-hoop last night(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 18:15,
archived)
A knife, a fork, a bottle and a cork That's the way we spell Saturday!
Oh morning also
(, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 7:22, archived)
YummyI have the same thing every day:
A peanut butter and jam sandwich and coffee
Very un-Italian
(, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 8:32, archived)
I live upstairs from youYes I think you've seen me before
(
Cheers Cheers, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 12:00,
archived)
HELLO IS IT CHEERS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 15:31,
archived)
Your dictionary is shit (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 8:37,
archived)
Morning comradeFucking Ukranians :(
I have decided to declare war on Canada noone gives a shit about the place
(, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 10:56, archived)
Too right comradeWe will throw beetroot at them till they capitulate`
(, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 11:28, archived)
Concordat of Worms. Not to be confused with either of the two Synods of Worms or the Edict of Worms.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 12:10,
archived)
Last season nine goalkeepers made more than 1,000 passes (10 years ago that figure was zero). (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 12:16,
archived)
Not as creepy as the Concordat of Worms. the two Synods of Worms, or the Edict of Worms though(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 15:34,
archived)
I got a tortilla/chapati press delivered this morningso now I'm making enchiladas for dinner with home made tortillas. already made a fucking superb sauce using chipotle, ancho, pascabel and guajillo chillies (and a bit of cocoa). I even have proper Mexican oregano which I acquired on the 'dark web'.
for I am, you see, a *colossal* food ponce.
*well, eBay, but I did order it at night
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:34,
archived)
There are sometimes thicker stems in with the leaves of mex oregano, it's best to remove them, they don't ever break down and they're unpleasant to eatI sometimes add a pinch to black beans, near the end of the cooking time, it enhances the earthiness of the sauce
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:39,
archived)
noted, tayou can't buy it in normal shops here so I've never had it before as I have yet to make it to Mexico, I am informed that it's markedly different from the European stuff so I wanted to get some to see if I can tell the difference.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 16:17,
archived)
Planning a session of MASSIVE DRUGS this eve, so I'll be having a boring and light dinner of bread and cheese and stuff.However, equally MASSIVE sirloin steaks have been procured for tomorrow's dinner, which will be coated in home-made wild mushroom steak rub.
*food ponce hi-5's*
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:52,
archived)
I'm more interested in this evening's menu?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:54,
archived)
an 8 course tasting menu of different free range rare breed billys, served in his fucking japper(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 16:19,
archived)
A funnel, a spoon, and a leafblower(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:05,
archived)
oh man Total Confusion was a fucking tune(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 18:00,
archived)
Champers, MDMA and hash, with single malt and valium for afters.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:33,
archived)
if you aren't dry brining them AS WE SPEAK I'm afraid we will have to have a chat about your food ponce licensealso you'd better be reverse searing those mo'fuckahs (as long as they are more than an inch thick) or as again, see above
also also, a bit of activated charcoal in your rub make a steak look fantastic (but does nowt for flavour tbh but you know, eat with your eyes and all that)
www.bigoven.com/recipe/black-magic-dust/2741733
best food website ever for nerds esp sciencey ones like your good self
www.seriouseats.com/how-to-dry-brine
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 16:46,
archived)
I'll 'dry-brine' you in a minute, sonny Jim!(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 Sep 2023, 19:15,
archived)
I'm dry brining my steak as I type this (
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 20:09,
archived)
I've been meaning to get one of those for ages (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:54,
archived)
not as easy to use as I hoped, will need some practice but have already graduated from 'bin' to 'edible' so that's a starthaving to make flour tortillas rather than corn which may explain my issues, I've found a Mexican grocers near Euston though so next time I'm in tine I will head there, fuck paying Β£6.99 delivery on a kilo of fucking flour
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 16:44,
archived)
I am quietly confident it will be, but you never know eh(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 16:49,
archived)
Are you using willies... ... cocoa?
(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:00,
archived)
Shove it up your arse and fart it out of your cock.Does sound good though.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:04,
archived)
I'm on my own tonight, other half is going out with some old friendsSo it's a home-made improvised pan-Asian turkey stir-fry. Birds eye chillis, ginger, garlic, onion, yellow pepper, soy sauce, fish sauce, rice wine vinegar, klaxon lime leaves, noodles, and - in a mad scientist may-or-may-not work flash of inspiration - a spoonful of marmalade.
I enjoy just making stuff up with what's in the kitchen, problem is I never remember what I did when it works really well.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 18:25, archived)
Sounds very much like my approach to prescribing(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 19:17,
archived)
I added some szechuan peppercorns at the last minute,hope you prescribe them as an effective oral anaesthetic
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 19:40, archived)
that's not what they do to me, numbness would be a mercy(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 23 Sep 2023, 1:53,
archived)
You correctly identified the mystery ingredient.Quite pleased with how it turned out actually, might ask rob if he wants to do a b3ta cookbook so he can milk us for more revenue
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 19:43, archived)
I'm going to have the shit I spunked out my helmit earlier, on toast, maybe with some baked beans(
broadsword, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 18:50,
archived)
It is late afternoon.I have put Beethoven on.
It is foolish to impute pain
to the intense sky
but that is what I have done.
And I will impute bollocks
to the appearing moon.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:36,
archived)
I suggest Mussorgsky's Night on Bald Mountain (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:54,
archived)
It's stubbly in the morning tho(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:15,
archived)
You could get that calligraphically enscripted on a scroll(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:56,
archived)
Then you could shove it up your ass(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:58,
archived)
Is this a suggestion or a request? (
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:08,
archived)
what's the difference between a suggestion and a request?Specifically, is one of them more likely to end up poking rudely out of his hiney?
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:12,
archived)
I don't know maybe a sweetly worded suggestion beats a rude request
(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:29,
archived)
Thinking about it, it's more of a suggestion really, I just want people to be happy. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:31,
archived)
Hey nowI also want to maximise happiness. We just have different methods.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 21:15,
archived)
Like everyone everywhere ever?It's a hard question even to define. Interpersonal interactions may have negligible effects superficially, but could have profound effects in many unseen ways. My methods are not unique and could be qualified/quantified in a variety of wide reaching and comprehensive sociological/anthropological studies (if sufficiently well defined and correctly identified, obviously). I'd confidently predict that my methods are more effective going forward in time, as opposed to going backwards (what with macro-universal laws of causality), but I'd humbly predict that anything I'm personally/individually responsible for is entirely negligible when considering the totality of space and time.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 23:27,
archived)
Nothing like a John Hughes movie to lift the spirits (
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:01,
archived)
I went all Haysi Fantayzee earlier, nearly blew me socks off(
broadsword, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 23:10,
archived)
greetings, smeghead'sI'm having a good day, u?
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:26,
archived)
I have the neighbours cat in my house again.He has basically moved in.
I got up this morning and the little cunt was already in the house. Must have sneaked in last night and I didnβt notice. Prickwanker
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:38, archived)
Think he gets in through the kitchen window and I don’t notice. (, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:25, archived)
My son has. A couple of times. I have stopped him doing it now. (, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:26, archived)
why thocompassionate innit
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:34,
archived)
nah it's not their catfeeding them is the first stage of cat theft. Source: my wife did it and it did not end well :(
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:36,
archived)
Yeah I've seen a couple of minor neighbor irritations over feline appropriationUsually sorts itself out, perhaps you were unlucky. Worth bearing in mind, cats seldom leave a good home.
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:44,
archived)
It's a cat not a lawyer for fucks sake (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:13,
archived)
I note you're not answering the question about whether you threatened to overrule him.(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:18, archived)
Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:27,
archived)
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:27,
archived)
I am yeah thanksParents over tomoz so dad is out on the boat first thing
Lobster and crab hopefully and whatever fish he can grab
Any ideas for crab/lobster dishes?
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:45, archived)
www.recipetineats.com/singapore-chilli-crab/
www.greatbritishchefs.com/recipes/lobster-macaroni-cheese-recipe
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:23,
archived)
What the fuck is 'brie-9'?Is that, like, an isotope of brie or something?
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:32,
archived)
It can only be purchased on the /chat secret site
You can be invited for cash
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:46, archived)
Fucks sake don't you know what rappers mean by "cheese"?(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:27,
archived)
that won't work m8gruyere, emmental, an aged gouda. needs to be a waxy, nutty cheese, brie will add a sour note which will not be good. just go to the shop ffs
also how exactly are you planning on grating brie over the top? come on, man, THINK
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:28,
archived)
OuchI need to go
I think I have a cavity
Are you in pain?
What did they do?
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:54, archived)
Oooooh. A root canal.I've had one of them. It was really fucking horrible, but the dentist who did it was a high priest of his art and the crown hast lasted a decade - gonna have to have the bastard out now though as there's a filling on the side that's fallen out and the tooth is infected but it lasted way longer than something that precarious ought to.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:29,
archived)
lol they haven't told youroot canal work is necessary before the final fitting of the crown, they don't say anything because it puts people off
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:52,
archived)
Nah, my previous crown didn't need root canalNeither does this one, it would if it was left any longer.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 19:55, archived)
My dentist is called Russell, as I've mentioned before. What is your dentist called? Mine is called Russell.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:51,
archived)
Cleaned some serious gunk out of my phone's charging port with a needle Now the stupid headphone adapter doesn't pop out.
Overall very satisfying.
(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:24,
archived)
My dentist is called Russell(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:59,
archived)
Had to write an arsy email to my new bossshe's driving me fucking mental with her shit. I told her. I said that.
I. erm... I may be looking for a new job soon...
In more exciting news I am doing lots of farts and they smell really, really bad. I recon I could cause acid rain with these guffs.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:26,
archived)
You need more fruits and vegetables in your diet.And a new job.
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:51, archived)
yeah what a fucking weird question*swigs*
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:26,
archived)
My sister in law has gone out mango scrumpingit's the season in Brazil. Lovely to know that traditions are the same all over the world, just with a local twist.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 8:15,
archived)
You can get a topical cream for thatyou know
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:17,
archived)
Alright Sean Ryder(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:26,
archived)
I fucking love mangoes π₯ (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:14,
archived)
They're especially nice fresh off the treeand stolen
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:17,
archived)
Everything is nicerWhen you're in a country where you can grow mangoes, I would imagine
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:25,
archived)
Not particularly, no (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:36,
archived)
What is a good winter greenhouse crop?(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:41,
archived)
I have a few different lettuces and herbs on the go atmI am getting some Pak Choi Gomez so that'll be finding a home too
Bollocks need a cool environment so they should thrive
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:57, archived)
Spring cabbage Radishes, purple sprouting broccoli
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 10:26,
archived)
Also potatoes, carrots, cauliflower and lettuce (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 10:28,
archived)
He didn't specify how long the "moment" is though, it might be years if he's thinking in geological time(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 11:58, archived)
I thought that said “mong scrumping” initially Thought she must be around dozers
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:46, archived)
it's called scope scrumping now apparently(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:08,
archived)
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:51,
archived)
Meh. manageable.got found a hostel place for last night after 3 weeks.
Onwards, forwards, and most likely, oop north as nobody can afford to live her any more.
(
Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:10,
archived)
MorningFuck it Friday!
Either fuck the day off and spend it in your pants with cider and Find It Fix It Flog It, and reruns of Heartbeat or have random sex with anything that is moving
The choice is yours
(, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:26, archived)
Brand exposed himself then laughed about it on air, says woman'This is currently the main article on the BBC News front page.
I miss Covid :(
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 9:59,
archived)
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