hello. i am bored. because i am bored i have realised something

i have realised i have a keycode combination in my head that will unlock a doorway to a cache of cool stuff...

i know this to be the case, i just need to find the right door...


if you had the right code, what would you want to find behind the Doorway to Cool Stuff?

a bag of happyness? a pocketful of talent?

what?
(Nobody Likes Mortal Wombat, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:42, archived)

True love, artistic talent
And drugs
(Fido Dido, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:45, archived)

seconded

( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:49, archived)

thirded
without the love

and the talent
( Delete Me, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 1:54, archived)

more beer probably*

*i may decide to change this decision in the near future
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:46, archived)

seconded
and drugs too

and a nice girl who's really horny.
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:48, archived)

hmmm
sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll....
can never have too many nice horny girls.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:52, archived)

cambodian mushrooms
and a Cinematic Orchestra CD
( applehead herp derp, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 1:04, archived)

This is from TheOnion.com's horrorscope for this week:
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
Romance and a felicitous atmosphere for new projects are foretold by the moon passing through your sign this week, as well as—wait a second! That's no moon!

Thought b3ta might appreciate it :)

Edit: guess not :(
(Fido Dido, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:14, archived)

I appreciated it
but am busy elsewheres to replies
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:26, archived)

liar disproven
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:28, archived)

I'm not
thewildsite.co.uk/4way-browser.htm
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:33, archived)

yeah but you replied, ergo you can't be to busy to reply.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:37, archived)

ah but I was busy
at the time you wrote that, as I was creating home.thirdage.com/Humor/wildheartbaby2/mt1000.gif
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:51, archived)

ok you are forgiven. not a liar, just busy :)
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:54, archived)

hehe,
excellent!

used to love the onion, ent read it for ages.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:28, archived)

I used to read it every week
But they changed the layout awhile ago, and it's full of adverts, so I've not read it in ages either
(Fido Dido, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:33, archived)

the sept the 11th issue
was fucking class

I almost pissed myself laughing
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:36, archived)

I always thought....
... I should like it. However... I get the impression it's 'looking at me in a funny way', and touching itself...
( Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:40, archived)

The political stuff is a bit odd too
Never quite sure whether it's left-wing or right-wing, or just masturbating over pictures of your mother.


There's also an article this week "I'm getting pretty good at masturbating". True story.
(Fido Dido, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:44, archived)

I think it's left wing
as it takes the piss out of stuff like sept the ninth

though, I'm not 100%, ask Supermoore
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:51, archived)

same
i get it emailed to me each week, but more often than not i just delete it without opening.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:41, archived)

Hands up
who is drinking wine/beer/spirits and shouldn't be because they have some work to do for tomorrow?

o/
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:46, archived)

/tries to raise a hand
/fails


/tries the other hand
/waves incohrently

/shouts:
ME!
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:50, archived)

/me tries to shake hands in solidarity
*misses*
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:53, archived)

let's sit down first
/gets another glass of wine and sits down.

edit: shakes both hands - trying to shake both of you at once
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:54, archived)

heheh
I am out of wine after this glass


*cries*


Then I will do my work pissed I reckon
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:58, archived)

I'm on holiday tomorrow.
I don't have to do anything except go to London for They Might Be Giants gig in London in the evening. Yay!

Although I might go Tate Modern and Foyles in the afternoon.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:52, archived)

*sigh*
nice
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:54, archived)

I have teh spaer ticket

( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:59, archived)

wow, that sounds like some kind of offer.
I can't because of the aforementioned work, but if you were serious, that was super nice.

/edit: plus I reckon you didn't even know I was a lady, although you might 'cos my profile is pink.
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:03, archived)

It was some kind of offer.
And I thought the pink was just in honour of gayshift.

edit: I may check this thread in the morning if I have time... let me know an email address if anyone is itching to see TMBG.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:10, archived)

so what's the gadget?

have you also picked up a badge?
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:20, archived)

I'll give you a clue what the gadget is.
One half is 11 foot wide by 7 foot tall.

The other half is about the size of a remote control for an electric garage door opener.

Can you guess what it is?
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:23, archived)

heheh
ummmmm, an 11 by 7 foot TV, which happens to have a remote about the size of an electric garage door opener?
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:24, archived)

Oooh.
No, but I think that should be my next gadget.

Second clue: it's not indoors - it's in the garage.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:27, archived)

errrrrrrrrr
lawnmower
swimming pool
bike
recycling bin


I'm just guessing using the things that are in my garage. Not including the car, because it doesn't fit in the garage godammit.
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:34, archived)

Last clue.
It makes an electric whirring noise and goes up and down.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:36, archived)

hur hur
you keep *that* in the garage?


Chilly
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:37, archived)

It's an electrically operated olympic size air hockey table that lowers itself from the
ceiling, of course.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:40, archived)

wooooooooooooooow
cool!


I loves air hockey
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:45, archived)

I love it too... I want one for real now.
I have a new project... I think the hardest part would be getting pucks and paddles. Or getting old hoovers to blow instead of suck.

Hurrah for power tools and ill-conceived drunken ideas.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:56, archived)

HURRAH!

(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 1:00, archived)

teh garage door!
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:39, archived)

shhh
spoilsport
;)
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:45, archived)

ME ME ME!

( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:06, archived)

Yay
*gives club badge*
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:08, archived)

here you go
I made a badge:

Everyone looky!
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:18, archived)

YAAAY!
/put it in profile
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:34, archived)

woo
but it seems to be broken
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:36, archived)

after careful reloading
it seems to work
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:39, archived)

hoorah
I shall sort out that background. Make it look more badgey
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:47, archived)

yeah kinda
but actually, i still don't know if i'm working tomorrow or not.
i'll have to go in anyway to find out.
lucky i'm not totally bladdered then.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:11, archived)

get more drunk
and just stay in bed. If you are supposed to be working they will call. Then you can have a badge.
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:36, archived)

well i gotta go in to sort out last months timesheets (they owe me money).
i may end up doing some real work also, so it'll be worth it.
however, if i had more booze right here, i'd probably down it fairly quickly anyway.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:40, archived)

aww
no more booze, bummer. I see you have added the badge anyway. I am glad.
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:48, archived)

i'll make up for it on another occasion.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:55, archived)

*holds hand up*
*falls over*

I have a MQ Series course to sit through tomorrow, and I have been on the Absinthe...
( Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:18, archived)

You may also have a badge
see above
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:19, archived)

Haha.....
... That's cocking great.... I am honoured.... I thank you...
( Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:21, archived)

No problemo
Really, I should be working. Not making badges. No.
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:25, archived)

I award you....
... one of your own badges.
( Lord_Floaty Hooting gladly., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:56, archived)

Thank you

(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:59, archived)

I have now concluded drinking
but I am tiddly, and I always have to work tomorrow.
( Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 1:38, archived)

Excellent
take a badge, go ahead.
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 1:42, archived)

I just got mozilla'ed - wooooo - twice as fast as my work server...
just got Camino, strongly reccommend if you got a mac, but need some anti virus software (free if possible) that clears out your hard disk.
got something nasty trying to get firefox, and now OS 9 is in danish, and i can't sort it out.

any ideas?
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:27, archived)

If I was sober
I dont think Id understand any of that

No offence of course...
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:28, archived)

I'm sober, and I don't understand any of it

(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:29, archived)

none taken
you fuckeating scumsucking twatbiting bummunching bollockssucking ratboy.

DO YOU KNOW OF ANY GOOD FREE ANTI VIRUS SOFTWARE FOR A MAC

any better?

/no offence :)
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:32, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/25510
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:34, archived)

ta
sorry, though it was the costly one
(buggerlugs fold staple mutilate, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:36, archived)

Google and myself
are your friend

www.macosarchives.com/anti-virus.html

www.freebyte.com/antivirus/
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:36, archived)

OS9?
bloody hell, people actually use that?

how about norton antivirus:
www.download.com/Antivirus/3150-2228-0.html
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:30, archived)

firefox
screwed me up a little, camino is awsome, works really well, likes the whole jumping abouyt thing, its nice and light so its not heavy on your desk top, seriously happy with it running in o/s X
(codec monkey, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:15, archived)

Why in flash
when i press test movie do the sound and animation go out of sync? and is there an esay way to fix it?
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:26, archived)

Oh, they're probably not the same length
/no idea
(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:28, archived)

it all
matches up perfectly in the time-line,

the sound gets about 20 frames ahead of the pictures.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:30, archived)

publish it
then view the result, it's long winded but more accurate

bloody test obviously doesn't work
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:30, archived)

hmm
nope, stil out of sync, sound ahead of pictures.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:32, archived)

ah
now you need to fiddle about with the frame rate and add in frames

getting the timing right, is a pain in the arse, I have a half finished animation I need to sort
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:38, archived)

bah,
right, i'll do the rest of the picturyness, and then worry about the sync. It's odd how the longer it goes on the more out of sync it seems to get.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:39, archived)

I noticed that as well
it's probably the best plan
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:00, archived)

Ignore that
set the sound to 'stream' in the property box, not 'event' and it'll force the animation timeline to keep up.

The difference happens because it takes a little longer to render a frame of graphics than it does to play a sound, so unless the framerate is forced to keep up it eventually lags behind. Setting it to streaming forces it to keep pace.

EDIT: this is why it gets worse further on. The more frames to render, the more the slight lag gets. If it's trying to run at 20 fps, but it takes .06 of a second to render a frame rather than the proper .05 then soon a lag will accumulate and continue getting bigger. Geddit?
( Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 1:41, archived)

Limewire
Just been messing about on it, and on the monitor section, you can turn searches on. And see what people are Searching your shared folders for.

and 80% of these searches is Porn.
Yay for the internet. Nearly every person in the world connected to each other, and we swop pictures of boobs(and a man on fire, judging by the last search).

We really are living in privilged times

EDIT: someone has just searched for scat man. They really shouldnt have left that space...
( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:16, archived)

Boobs are great
*100% of fact*
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:18, archived)

Well everybody knows that

( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:21, archived)

this is true

( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:21, archived)

I dont use the net for porn
But I did once had to turn safe search off for something
*shudders*
it went straight back on again
I am bemused by the amount of the stuff out there
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:18, archived)

its wrong, so very wrong
TG got emailed to me the other day.
:( why, why, WHY?!?
( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:26, archived)

TG?
The goatse?
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:31, archived)

worse

i try not to type it as people then google it, then i get moaned at, and then people sue me
( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:32, archived)

Well I'm here delete it quick
I got TGed before I got goatsed
So goatse leaves me less sick
and i have just got used to them by now
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:34, archived)

Harlequin fetus?
Don't google it, if you haven't seen it, trust me.
(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:36, archived)

That did not affect me at all
strangely
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:37, archived)

Used to them?
Lets hope I never get to that stage

Ive never seen TG nor do I intend to
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:37, archived)

One day
someone will get you
Its not that bad really
Yes its disgusting but I've seen worse
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:38, archived)

hmmm
the 2nd time i got, erm got.
I was just impressed by it. It is some mean feat. Why anyone would want to do it, i dont know. But that is some high powered erm, crap
( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:42, archived)

you never noticed
that porn is what made the internet what it is today?
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:19, archived)

True. The web is full to the seems with porn
You can't even search for "cum-hungry fucksluts" without finding porn...
(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:22, archived)

Me and friend
tried typing in the most harmless words we could think of into a seatch engine to see what WOULDNT generate a porn site.

I think 'cloud' was one
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:24, archived)

EWWWWWWWWWWWW
someone just searched for mature hairy hornies 5.

THERE IS 5 of them

I feel sick.

/boots up google
( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:25, archived)

Spill
/ewwwwwwwwww
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:27, archived)

how rare!
I downloaded a screener of shaun of the dead (I am the copyright holder) a few days ago, and now I just found a waresy group type release thing of it in my documents, which is a dvd rip and very high quality which was downloaded at the beginning of august!
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:56, archived)

boo
well at least you watched it

edit/and enjoyed it, hopefully
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:02, archived)

I've got new downstairs neighbours for a week
and I've been on vacation for 4 days of that week.

The bloke I never saw until just now (I thought the downstairs neigbours was only a girl) came knocking and complaining about me playing my Solomon Burke mp3's too loud (it was about 23.30 here)

Bloody insane girl who lived there before never ever complained in the 3 years I lived here.
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:38, archived)

Congratulations
you have gained a cnut...apparently
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:40, archived)

this is only the beginning.
100% of FACT
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:43, archived)

ack!
is it going to end with lots of kinky sex?
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:47, archived)

yes
but in the Pulp Fiction kinda of way.
Not the eyes wide shut kinda way
( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:50, archived)

ack again

( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:52, archived)

In the pulp fiction kinda way?
well he better get in there first
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:53, archived)

I can't see any other way.
It must be fate.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:50, archived)

Pffft
Atomic Kitten person commenting on a new charity set up to help stop child prostitution (rough quote):
"It's terrible that this sort of thing is going on but it's nice to know that the service is there if you need it and that you can just call up and be looked after."
( Malchick, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:29, archived)

pfft!
doh!
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:32, archived)

haha
nice to know !
( connor, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:42, archived)

Arf
Poor well meaning dim girl
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:54, archived)

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:29, archived)

Yes

(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:30, archived)

damnit

( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:31, archived)

Caught in a landslide
er la la la
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:30, archived)

No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies
And seeeee
( Malchick, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:34, archived)

Using my amazing psychic powers
I deduce you are listening to Queen...greatest hits CD?
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:40, archived)

Ive been watching waynes world
and im off to watch Bill+Teds excellent journey

/all we are is dust in the wind, dude
( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:43, archived)

Excellent
I prefer Bogus Journey...
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:46, archived)

Bogus
(Acemandoo, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:49, archived)

station
although my fave bit is

'Dude, this is a totally deep hole'. 'Yeah'
cracks me up everytime

EDIT - Just googled it and remembered this bit

Bill: There's no way i could possibly do infinite push ups
Ted: Maybe he'll let us do them girly style
( dantl, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:51, archived)

The bit when they play all the games with Death
Bwahahaha

oh youre gonna make me buy the DVD at this rate
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:52, archived)

Nope
I'm jsut a sad enough bastard to know all the words.
( Malchick, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:44, archived)

I'm just a poor boy

( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:40, archived)

Don't need no sympathy

( Malchick, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:44, archived)

because i'm easy come, easy go.....

( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:16, archived)

People have said this before, but I never thought it would happen to me.
A fly landed on my screen and I tried to brush it away with my cursor.

*cries in shame*
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:22, archived)

Pffft
arf
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:23, archived)

It did fly away soon afterwards though. Perhaps it works?
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:23, archived)

I do that all the time.
And try to poke moths with my cursor, when they land on the PC (not the monitor)...

It takes me a second before I realise that the cursor stops at the edge of the screen...

/hides face
(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:26, archived)

I've done that far too many times.
Also, while playing Medal of Honour, I have been known to duck to avoid bullets.
( Malchick, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:33, archived)

pffft!
Silly boy
(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:36, archived)

hehehe

(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:47, archived)

I have a TV card in my PC
Sometimes TV programmes show PC screens. When they move the mouse pointer, it confuses me every time.
( barnesy, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:29, archived)

Trying to use your Mobile Phone as a mouse is worse.
Has happened more than once.
( Lanc Weekend Trailer Park Supervisor, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:38, archived)

haahaha
I do that, I just grab whatever I happen to have put to the left of me, then feel really stupid.
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:41, archived)

Going to take a drink of my brew
with a cig in my mouth was nearly a disaster.
( Lanc Weekend Trailer Park Supervisor, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:51, archived)

hehhehe
*spacks*
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:56, archived)

haha
you are a fuck nut
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 23:32, archived)

Every newsletter is
www.thewoo.com but when i click it its not. how odd
( just a man sitting on a chair eating a biscuit, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:19, archived)

that
address used to point to b3ta.
I think it stopped about a month ago.
( tico, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:20, archived)

I found one a while ago
where the front page has about 50 FP's on it.. nice if you've missed one.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:31, archived)

someone has a best of the board archive...
the address of which i have somewhere...
*pops off to look*
edit: hm... doesn't seem to have been updated in a while...
www.angelfire.com/apes2/botb/
( eclectech is older but no wiser, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:36, archived)

ooh, how handeh.
there's always someone asking for one*.

*I may have seen two people asking. A long time ago.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:42, archived)

eugh
my apple tastes like chemicals!
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:17, archived)

Maybe it's actually chemicals
that look like an apple.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:18, archived)

did you confuse
your ibook with a piece of fruit again?
( tico, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:18, archived)

it's an expensive mistake
that you only make once. and this is definately fruit.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:22, archived)

you're telling me
i made the mistake with an ipod once, my stomach has heat-sensitive scrolling menus now.
( tico, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:23, archived)

well thats always useful
for when your medulla stops functioning.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:28, archived)

and that happens
daily!
( tico, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:29, archived)

My cider tastes of apples
Uncanny
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:22, archived)

strongbow?

( tico, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:24, archived)

I had to think about that....
(too many)

no.....Scrumpy Jack...cider of bargainness
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:31, archived)

i've recently taken to asking barstaff for strongbad..... no-ones caught on yet :(
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:20, archived)

That'll be your mothers
wax fruit display you daft cunt
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:28, archived)

Should I keep checking...
or is there a reason why there is no website at

www.a.com
www.b.com
www.c.com
www.d.com
www.e.com
www.f.com

etc...
note: bored
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:59, archived)

www.x.com is PayPal.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:00, archived)

z.com
is nissan
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:01, archived)

www.xy.com
is a gay youth magazine site.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:24, archived)

I think it has to be at least three characters long
/no clue
(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:02, archived)

doesn't seem so
see x and z
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:03, archived)

shush
I am right.
(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:07, archived)

I imagine
an exception is made if you pay tons of cash
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:12, archived)

Generally speaking you are right
One of the reasons those bastions of the road are theaa.com and not aa.com cos that American Airlines for starters

Or I could be wrong*

*100% probable fact
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:23, archived)

hm...
not sure about the rules for .com but you haven't been able to register single or double letter domains in the uk since nominet was set up in 1996... there are some domains from before then that still exist but no new registrations since... probably something similar in the .coms too...
( eclectech is older but no wiser, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:13, archived)

I was right then!
woo, and suchlike
(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:15, archived)

Yep
shush me indeed
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:17, archived)

the single letter domains are the master servers for the DNS system, as such they don't run webservers because they can't afford the bandwidth overhead.

i think....
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 0:22, archived)

Hoorah for Indy!
He's saved the day once more.

Dun duh dun daaaaaaaaaaa
Dun da daaaaaa
Dun duh dun daaaaaaaaaaa
Dun duh daaaa daaaa daa
Dun duh duh daaaaaaaaaaa
Dun duh daaaaaaa
Dun duh daaa da da daaa da da daaa da da da.

EDIT: Daa da daaaa
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:49, archived)

You just
spoiled the ending for me :-(
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:50, archived)

In the end
The butler did it.
(bionic sheep, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:51, archived)

damn you
you've spoilt the ending of many made-by-numbers Agatha Christie-tastic films for me :-(
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:53, archived)

Do you mean the ones
where she grabs two dictionaries, one of just adjectives and one of just nouns, picks at random a word from each and then cobbles them together to make a title?

Examples: Lovely Spacktard and Mysterious Rectum.
(bionic sheep, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:55, archived)

ahhh
that was a great adventure!
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:03, archived)

You missed out 'daa da daaaa' in the last line.

( rabid peanut - s'fucking right, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:50, archived)

Oops.
Silly me.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:52, archived)

Bah beaten to it
Bloody hell I was just singing that too :)
(Icouldsleepforever, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:51, archived)

i had forgotten how much i loved those films
*edit* opp nick and tuck time
( comrade yannovski and then, of course, there was the schnapps monkey, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:00, archived)

ARGGHHH
why can't i draw a fucking mouse?

i drew quite a nice elephant, but i can't draw a mouse for shit.

Starting to piss me off.

edit: fuck it, can someone suggest a small, jungley type animal that me, with no drawing talent at all could possibly draw?
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:34, archived)

ha ha!
/off to try drawing a mouse

edit: b3ta.com/board/3693338
didn't turn out much worse than my other drawings.
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:35, archived)

Make their whiskers quiver
like this
( valley, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:50, archived)

pffffft!
That's lully :)
(Fido Dido, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:00, archived)

that is the loveliest thing I saw all day

( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:45, archived)

It's true, mice are really difficult
Look at my spacky attempt:

www.steven-s.us/upload/store/Mouse.gif

Punnage!
(bionic sheep, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:41, archived)

arghh
.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:43, archived)

I can just about do cartoony ones.
b3ta.kamikazestoat.co.uk/cc2.jpg

but sorry, I can't think of any jungley animals at the minute
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:43, archived)

That's a shame.
I've got a shit here with your name on it.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:43, archived)

How did you manage to write his name in it?
Surely the pen would kind of . . . splat?
(bionic sheep, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:45, archived)

By using a blunt stick.

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:48, archived)

Cunning
When I next feel the urge to write someone's name on a shit, I shall remember that advice.
(bionic sheep, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:49, archived)

*doffs cap*
Always glad to be of service...

*dons mask and cape*
*flies off into the night*

The evenings work for the Poo Drawer is finsihed here...
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:50, archived)

Every superhero
has to find their niche.
(bionic sheep, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:52, archived)

I'm laughing
but I'm not sure why
/oh yes I am - engage brain before typing post
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:45, archived)

'ning missy.... :)
Decorators in, eh?
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:48, archived)

grrrrrrrr
'ning
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:50, archived)

Hahaha!
Have they broken the toilet & pissed in the flowerpots yet?
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:51, archived)

ahhh
I see we are not on the same thought process here
never mind - don't worry
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:52, archived)

Arf!
Why do you mean something entirely different?

*whistles innocently*

*gives Claire Rayner a call*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:53, archived)

*walks away quickly*
*hides*
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:55, archived)

Bah. That always happens....

Anyway, I'm off to bed as last nights festivities have left me rather tired.

Night Night :)
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:58, archived)

night!

( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:59, archived)

A tiny elephant

( wayward., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:46, archived)

A flea
 
            .
 
( Newington, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:55, archived)

i can draw mice
they are the best

img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/masterconnor/mouseandcursor.gif
( connor, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:02, archived)

A mouse in
a loin cloth

there
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 22:24, archived)

Seriously, try this:
bugger, doesn't display.
try 'heredoc system' format string


ca3.php.net/manual/en/language.types.string.php#language.types.string.syntax.heredoc

sorry, board won't allow teh codez, but basicall, rather than escaping all the characters individually, you can quote it inside the left angle bracket heredoc system form
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:33, archived)

what be different?

( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:34, archived)

in php it works up until the @ sign.

( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:38, archived)

erm
try it where?
( tico, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:39, archived)

sorry, the thread below was gettign a bit lost.
Sprinkles knows what I'm on about
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:41, archived)

oops
thats what i get for coming on the board and replying to the first post i see!
( tico, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:57, archived)

I fucking love
Indiana Jones
and Short Round, the kid.

You know, when I was 14 I went to this community center in my area and saw this local band called Short Round and I juuuust made the connection of where the name came from. Oh and the lead singer hit on me. He was 20 and his name was Jason Phuk. I didn't believe him so he showed me his drivers license. I told him I was 14 and he said he didn't care.

People are so creepy.
Especially that kid who plays the evil prince.
This movie rocks, but he's a little shit.
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:30, archived)

I'm more of a fan of
Last Crusade to be honest I think Temple of Doom is just silly.
Unfortunately when I was 14 I didn't have lucious 20 year olds with interesting names hitting on me. Ah well.
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:32, archived)

Last Crusade is my favorite
but this one still rocks
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:32, archived)

Relatively so.

( rabid peanut - s'fucking right, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:33, archived)

raiders all the way

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:33, archived)

it was the weakest of the three for me
probably because it has no nazis in it
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:33, archived)

whatever..
that is so 1980's

IRON CHEF is where it's at ;)
( Quelabra Don't Knock New York, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:34, archived)

oh man, whenever I go back to America
I spend all my time watching the food network
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:35, archived)

Chen is my favourite
if memory serves me right

*indy* He's drowning all the children! *indy*
( Quelabra Don't Knock New York, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:37, archived)

the children got out
shit they're after him!
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:39, archived)

Answering this vvvvvvv seriously
have you tried making that big $search string smaller, and checking that it's actually replacing. Then add bits of the text at a time, until your removing the whole string
My guess is you will need to escape various things in the search string...like the 's, and stuff like that. I know I would need to in Perl
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:28, archived)

Oh, right.
Remove the string. And make the $search bigger. Okay.
( rabid peanut - s'fucking right, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:30, archived)

ARGHAGAHAAHAGHAHAHAHH
CAN'T FUCKING GET IT TO FUCKIGN WORK!


//BRING ME THE FILE
fopen("http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/5day.shtml?id=1431", "r");
$html = file_get_contents("http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/5day.shtml?id=1431");


// Take out Those nasty forward slashes

$html = strip_tags($html);

$html = str_replace('/', '', $html);

$search = "/BBC - Weather Centre - 5 Day Forecast in Celsius for Bridgend, United Kingdom @import url('includestbenh.css') ; HomeTVRadioTalkWhere I LiveA-Z Index Text only version | Print | Send this to a friend Make this my Homepage | Feedback | Help Weather Home UK World Sports Coast and Sea Climate Change Features Weatherwise About BBC Weather Message Board Site FAQ Painting the Weather About the BBC Bridgend, United Kingdom Current Nearest Observations:sunny 21°CEasterly Wind (19mph)Relative Humidity (%): 54,Pressure (mB): 1027, Falling,Visibility: Very good(View this forecast in Fahrenheit) Symbol key WednesdaySunrise 6:38 (BST)Sunset 19:46 (BST) 23°C 16°C 7 good 1032 47 ThursdaySunrise 6:39 (BST)Sunset 19:44 (BST) 23°C 18°C 8 good 1021 57 FridaySunrise 6:41 (BST)Sunset 19:42 (BST) 20°C 16°C 9 moderate 1011 79 SaturdaySunrise 6:42 (BST)Sunset 19:39 (BST) 19°C 13°C 9 moderate 1008 70 SundaySunrise 6:44 (BST)Sunset 19:37 (BST) 17°C 15°C 13 moderate 1007 55 Nearest weather observation station: Latitude: 51.5871,Longitude: -3.779.Observed: Wed 892004 at 1800 (GMT)Distance from this location to the weather station: 16.8(km) Searchfor a new 5 day forecast Set Bridgend, United Kingdom to be my hometown Printable version Key to symbolsKey to indices Country guide The symbols shown for each day in the five day forecasts represents the predominant weather expected on the day in question. This is calculated based on a weighting of different types of weather, so if a day is forecast to be sunny with the possibility of a brief shower, then we will see a sunny or partly cloudy symbol rather than a rain cloud. The maximum temperature is the highest temperature forecast between 0600 and 1800, whereas the minimum temperature is the lowest temperature expected from 1800 on the day in question to 0600 the following day. BBC Weather Centre in association with the Met OfficeTerms of Use | Privacy & Cookies Policy/";
$replacement = "";
$html = preg_replace($search, $replacement, $html);


echo $html;


it just leaves it without stripping what I tell it to
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:10, archived)

Throw a pencil sharpener at it
so that the little shavings get in its eyes.
( Comma, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:12, archived)

$search is almost certainly wrong...
( robtoo is all out of gum, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:12, archived)

You need to replace ") with ";)
that works for me
Edit: Don't take notice of this, it is a facetious response..you went silent, so I hope you aren't testing
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:12, archived)

DAMN YOU!

( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:25, archived)

isn't the / at the end of $Search
escaping the " ?
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:16, archived)

no,
backslashes escape :)
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:17, archived)

In Perl, escape is
\, not /
not sure about PHP tho'
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:17, archived)

ah, sorry.
reading in php, and I always get slashes mixed up anyway
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:18, archived)

Just practice
calling backslashes "BACKslash" regularly got that fixed for me.
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:20, archived)

I can just never remember which one i'm supposed to use.
I can only suggest changing $search to something simpler to make sure the code actually works, then building it back up until something clicks
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:27, archived)

Mind
Pissage
(pseudosocrates, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:28, archived)

You need to recombobulate
the interflacial desnogificator.
( rabid peanut - s'fucking right, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:24, archived)

*cough*
www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-bin/education/betsie/parser.pl/0005/www.bbc.co.uk/weather/5day.shtml?id=1431
( robtoo is all out of gum, Wed 8 Sep 2004, 21:28, archived)

You come to meeee
ah knooow aaall thee best leeenks in town. Like that one.
( Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 2:20, archived)