ok. the first beta site is ready.
this is the result of the uplaod project.
i hope soon to integrate the two such that any new uploads automatically get included in the site.

click the "reload" link a few times to get the jist of what's going on.

enjoy.

edit: *ahem* i still need more stuff ;) *ahem*
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:49, archived)

what does:

0.87b
first 	of the shittest.
	going to have to take care of this

mean?

Thats all i see
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:50, archived)

that's for you to decide.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:51, archived)

is that a fancy way of saying
"i don't know"?
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:52, archived)

hint:
have you tried the "reload" link, or refreshing yet?
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:53, archived)

yup
thats all that happens.
just a white screen with that random 'message'

there is no reload link
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:54, archived)

you get the same message every time ?

that's odd. you should definitely be seeing different things every time.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:56, archived)

meh
don't worry. its bound to be a problem my end.
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:57, archived)

cache?
just a thought, but you setting cache headers correctly?
( robtoo is all out of gum, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:59, archived)

i emptied it
still the same thingie.
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:59, archived)

might be a problem upstream from you...
the server can set various magic bits to try to reduce the problem.
( robtoo is all out of gum, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:01, archived)

meh
don't play with anything on my behalf. im just one person. it doesnt look as if anyone else is having problems.
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:02, archived)

added
header("Cache-Control: no-store, no-cache");
may help some people... but images will not be cached. ho hum.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:01, archived)

i`m no expert at this
but with my 1mb broadband some of the pages are slow to load, and i keep seeing a chinese chappie and a coot, some marlboros and a pile of weed... is this normal????
( Ibstock, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:26, archived)

it'll be a little slow, 'cos i'm having to run and host all the images from my home server.
i may change this in the future if the amount of content increases a lot.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:28, archived)

how bizarre
it's not really what i was expecting
( GatheredCrustacean, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:54, archived)

hmm... *strokes chin*
interestink, very interestink. so, tell me about your father.

no audio?
( robtoo is all out of gum, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:58, archived)

not yet... note sure how to implement it either.
probably have to convert it all to flash objects.. then load a random flash file or two.
-> job for tomorrow.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:59, archived)

you can get flash to dynamically load
files- you could just say which file by appending it to the end of the url..

"sound.swf?file=neenor.wav" and loading the file variable in flash.

by the way- it's very good indeed as it is!
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:30, archived)

noted
thanks!
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:32, archived)

I have absolutely no cocking idea what is going on
but I just got a pic of a gay bloke.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:11, archived)

better luck next time.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:12, archived)

i get some errors
but very good so far :)
( connor, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:12, archived)

some errors ? like what ? i need to know.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:14, archived)

Hatstand

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 22:21, archived)

yippee!
i clicked that.. and the first page that came up had some bits from one of my files on it! wheeeeeeee :)
( toxie, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 0:26, archived)

Tip top
you're my new favourite geek

Can your system handle huge text file? I've got the Project Gutenberg Etext of Three Men in a Boat sitting pretty at 372 KB.

Edit: Maximum filesize: 51200 bytes, duh
( Deebster, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 2:49, archived)

can someone explain to me
what the difference is between average, constant and variable bitrate in terms of size:sound quality?
edit: why isn't this: www.spangpower.com/ Glasscock?
edit2: or for that matter www.geocities.com/heartland/shores/1702/
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:04, archived)

yes
(spamming about my new flash-movie)
(Pjotr, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:06, archived)

*slaps self
for asking such an open ended question*
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:12, archived)

hehe
www.aqri18.dsl.pipex.com/heffelump.html

my first flash movie which i made last night.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:16, archived)

That's brilliant!
and if we're doing flash spamming, you can have mine too.
String
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:22, archived)

Aceness
really ace.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:26, archived)

That is tan
fastic
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:42, archived)

as i understand it,
variable is better as low-signal parts (e.g. silence) are encoded into a smaller space, leaving more for the high-signal parts. what i don't know is the difference between variable and average bit-rate encoding...

oh. and have some more spam: glassco.cx/tabs/

EDIT: gmail invites for anyone who wants *shrug*
gmail.google.com/gmail/a-ef9788e319-d1c5f4daef-f3f0364625
gmail.google.com/gmail/a-ef9788e319-9d1b14ab18-bcc08c0198
( robtoo is all out of gum, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:14, archived)

That tabby thing is most handy.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:35, archived)

Thanks for the G-Mail linky
.
(Remedial_Gash, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 0:08, archived)

variable bit-rate gets you the highest quality/size
average I don't know... 'sprobably the same as variable
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:26, archived)

can anybody enlighten me about subscription
after two years of lurking i've decided i really ought to donate but...

if i set up a subscription how do you/they know it's from me?

and do i really have to remind cal every month to get new icons?
( cunilinguini, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:56, archived)

no
not every month. new icons rarely come out every year!!
if you set up a paypal subscription (say, paying £2 monthly) then you will always get the new icons when they come out.
If you use the aformentioned paypal account with the same email address you signed up with (And shove your username in the comments section of the paypal subscription) Cal should get your icons there in about a week maximum. It took him 1hour with me!
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:59, archived)

if you are paying by paypal
send your user number in the message that goes with the payment

if you are paying monthly, it goes on automatically
( MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:59, archived)

damn
you said exactly what i said, only using much less words and less confusingly.
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:01, archived)

but as far as i can see you can enter a message in a one-off payment but not a subscription
( cunilinguini, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:04, archived)

send an email then
cal will still sort it out quite quickly
( MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:05, archived)

well
i didnt put a message in anyway (Although there was a message box)

you can email cal if you like too (his address it somewhere!)

trust me...he'll find you!
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:06, archived)

ok i'll do that
cheers

as you were...
( cunilinguini, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:07, archived)

thanks
*bends over again*
( tico, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:24, archived)

Do insects have arseholes?

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:13, archived)

Dunno
Bend over and look in a mirror

;)
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:15, archived)

Great answer(had me laughing)

(Leah, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:19, archived)

:)

( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:32, archived)

*registers gnatse.cx*

( barnesy, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:16, archived)

inzek heil!

( Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:25, archived)

Just shrink
goatse down to 4px by 3px or something. That should do.
( Chrico is a bounder and a cad, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:27, archived)

yes
no
maybe
I can't remember
Depends on the insect i think
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:16, archived)

they do indeed
they have to get rid of waste from somewhere
( MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:20, archived)

ladybirds do
one shat on me once.. evil bugger
( toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:21, archived)

Yes, but even they may be too big
for you to use your tiny cock effectively in.
( Comma, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:26, archived)

Best answer
here have an imaginary kitten
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:33, archived)

yes

( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:51, archived)

Only the ones married to Jamie Oliver

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:22, archived)

Jamie Olivers wife
Is a lovely lady

Quiet in here today
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:25, archived)

She's a Spiteful Harridan*


It is isn't it. I expect everyone is down the pub.


*baseless gossip
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:26, archived)

it may be baseless gossip
but it is still probably true
( MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:28, archived)

*crosses fingers*
Anyone else watching Ray Mears? He's a fucking genius!!
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:37, archived)

I am now
nice butchery going on
( MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:41, archived)

Yep,
He's thoroughly enjoying himself...

Reminded me of my local Nightclub for some reason...
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:45, archived)

loads of flesh on show
but a little grim to look at
( MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:51, archived)

I want to be down the pub
It's the wrong day for everybody to be in the pub?
thursday today?
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:31, archived)

Thursday is the new Friday

( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:33, archived)

Back when I were a student
twas a wedensday
Half day at uni=more pub time
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:35, archived)

Fuck.
Does that mean I've missed a whole 'New Bumrape Friday'?!!!!
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:35, archived)

everyday is bumrape day for you
so I doubt it makes any difference
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:36, archived)

Not everyday.
We have halfday closing on a Wednesday.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:38, archived)

Well I'm sure there will
people glad of that
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:40, archived)

The Pensioners don't seem to mind too much,.
Let's them get their strength back for 'Pension Stealing Thursday'...
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:43, archived)

the collembolla
has a furca - but I think that's just its springing organ
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:55, archived)

teh uplaod project
ok b3tans, now i know what i'm doing with your files, i have 2 requests:

i need more text/word documents.

any text fragments will do. copy and paste websites into txt files and send them. send me your love letters. send me your homework. send me your poetry. anything. be creative and original.

i need stylesheets.

any stylesheets will do. steal them/author them - donate them.

that is all,

thanks.

yourfilesare.mine.nu/host/
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:02, archived)

will my credit card details
do ?

edit - i sent some poems - i will be interested to see what you with em
( connor, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:11, archived)

i left a note on the site about "sensitive information".

edit: thanks.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:25, archived)

hey you?
on msn? I've made a start on printscr33n
( anythingbutthisactually, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:50, archived)

*uploads something or other*
there y'go, it's a strange bit of code about a butler from the game I'm working on.
( Newington, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:24, archived)

i sent you my
A-level spanish oral script, in (more or less) perfect spanish.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:54, archived)

cd /porn/videos
ls -al > mypornvids.txt

*uploads*

should be interesting ;-)
( cunilinguini, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 20:34, archived)

fast and furious trailer.mpg
slipknot.asf
WTF ??
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:11, archived)

good luck
doing whatever you're doing with those!
( cunilinguini, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:16, archived)

I donated the
stylsheet from my site (the one the novelty has worn off on)
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 21:56, archived)

the new question of the week
is fucking ace
b3ta.com/questions/sickjokes/
( rob, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:50, archived)

It is marvellous,
although some seem to have trouble distinguishing between sick and racist.
( supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:53, archived)

although I did like the one that went
What do you call an elephant with a spade...
( rob, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:55, archived)

Made me chuckle the most that one
*texts*
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:02, archived)

Hmm
we should have a txt forward button on this stuff. We'd make a fortune...
( rob, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:07, archived)

Yeah
Especialy if there's a disaster, sometimes jokes come via text within hours. Chinese winkle pickers for example, I got a joke about that before I knew it had happened
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:13, archived)

Hurrah!!
Bah,

All the good ones have already gone..
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:56, archived)

I'm sure you will dig up more

( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:56, archived)

I'm delighted at your confidence in me...



'ning :)
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:58, archived)

Is that really a good thing?

how are you today then
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:59, archived)

I'm rather splendid today,
although currently trying to fiddle my expenses so that I can afford to eat for the rest of the month :(

How's your good self?
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:05, archived)

Yay for being splendid
and boo for having to fiddle the expenses

I'm not splendid at all
But am enjoying a destinct lack of snot and feelings of unwellness
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:10, archived)

Bah, I hate unwellness.
It's nearly two weeks since I had my snot infestation, and it's still lingering on.

Vast amounts of alcohol does seem to help, though.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:16, archived)

'ning sir
I've just seen your contribution

most hullworthy :)
( MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:08, archived)

Hahaha!
'ning sir.

One does try ones hardest!!

Howz Yowz..?!
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:10, archived)

fine thanks
works back to yawnsville for a few weeks, so all's good really

yourself?
( MrSanity has maybe kicked the WoW habit forever, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:17, archived)

Smashing now, thanks.
Just finished doing 5 weeks of expenses!!! Hurrah!!!

I'm rich, rich beyond my wildest dreams!!!*


*may not be true
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:56, archived)

Someone nicked my joke
The one about John Major's cock - I wrote that fucker, and had it featured on P*pb*tch back on the days when I used to post there.

Gastard.
( Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:13, archived)

well done - it's a great joke
I told it to my dad
( rob, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:14, archived)

Ta

( Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:16, archived)

Fantastic
Some classics in there.
( Lanc Weekend Trailer Park Supervisor, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:24, archived)

The search engines
are going to have a field day. When this little lot's indexed, expect a bumper crop of depraved newbies.
( Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:40, archived)

More depraved than the people already here?
All the Goatsee referances will scare them off quickly enough.
( Lanc Weekend Trailer Park Supervisor, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:42, archived)

Woo
Meatshakes.com is mine, all mine!

On a side note, I started college today and it cunting well licks pube. Hooray for the next 2 years of my life.
( Malchick, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:28, archived)

Woo for meatshakes.
I've been in sixth form for three days and so far I've had nearly a whole day off from offsite times. It's cunting great.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:39, archived)

I went home at 11 today
because all the frees are belong to me.
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:45, archived)

I came home at 1:00
but yesterday I had a three hour lie-in.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:46, archived)

In sixth form, Upper Sixth year
I had French from 9am - 10.20, then nothing until 4pm Chemistry. We used to take a leisurely walk to a pub, arrive 11ish for opening, sink a few pints, play a bit of pool (at 20p a game!) and stagger randomly back to play with dangerous chemicals.
It's just occurred to me that I got and A for French but a D for Chemistry... not sure if the two are linked!?
At uni in my final year, I had 9-10am on Wednesday and then nothing until Monday 11am. Hoorah for five day weekends...
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:55, archived)

erm
my course last year was 8.30 to 7 on a monday
and that was all.

Fucked me over tho, couldnt remember anything from 2pm onwards
( dantl, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:57, archived)

my first day of college was the shittest
i had gone from doing higher english to sitting in a portakabin sticking leaves onto paper with losers

got a lot better after that though :)
( connor, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:40, archived)

I wouldn't mind
but all my friends loved it, so clearly something is wrong.
( Malchick, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:41, archived)

obviously
your friends are all communists. Burn them. Burn them all.
(1, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:45, archived)

why would he want to bum communists?
?
Edit - oh, i cant read, sorry
( dantl, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:58, archived)

Hurrah!!
Wait until you leave. That's when the real misery starts.



/half empty
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:45, archived)

i doubt anyone cares
but i just spotted some impressive lurking, browsing question of the week

www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=21703
( kingkong., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:26, archived)

Weird fucker too

( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:27, archived)

I think he's pretty funny *
FUCKSTICKS! Just realised i missed my 2 year b3tabirthday 5 days ago

My lurking's not bad...only 400 posts in 2 years...almost all with pictures though :-)


* - not verifiably 100% of fact*
(pseudosocrates, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:31, archived)

arsebiscuits!
it's mine in 12 minutes - i don't intend to miss it!

but my lurking skills are far leeter than yours ;-)
( cunilinguini, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:36, archived)

it could be worse
he could admit it in his name =P
( kingkong., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:31, archived)

But I know I am

( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:35, archived)

I thought you had that position
safely covered...


*points at profile*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:34, archived)

Fuck you, you cunting granny feltcher
who sucks dogs then spits the jizz into a cat minge and sucks it out using a hollow dead gay worm.


How you doing?

:)
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:36, archived)

Pfffft..!
Is that a come on?


*comes on*


I'm peachy., thanks my love. How're you?
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:38, archived)

Still hungover
Can't even manage a beer tonight, I'm fucked
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:39, archived)

Hurrah!!
You know what'll shift it don't you?

Listen to the voices...
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:44, archived)

That's nothing
I've been registered for 225 days, and I've only posted one answer.

Oops.
(Mori, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:35, archived)

Fuck!
Hello.
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:40, archived)

Oh damn damn damn
I've kept my vow for eighteen years, not a single, recognisable, articulate sound has passed my lips. Oh, it doesn't matter now. I might as well enjoy myself, etc, etc

One of these days I'll even open up Photoshop.... maybe...
(Mori, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:50, archived)

279 days
and only one picture posted.

Have now got Gimp, will be trying to figure it out in the henceforth...
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:46, archived)

Echo

(pseudosocrates, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:08, archived)

Echo

( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:09, archived)

.
echo
( dantl, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:10, archived)

_echo
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:12, archived)

@echo off
pause
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:16, archived)

Great!
Now where's the Dolby button?
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:18, archived)

Spacial awareness button do?

( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:26, archived)

i'm bored, and have no work to do in the near future.
how should i entertain myself ?
A - make virtual lego models
B - play guitar
C - play bass
D - write some songs
E - 'shop something
F - rock out to loud music
G - write a long narrative about what a twunt my boss is
H - make a new website
I - any other ideas?

i think i know what you'll all say anyway, so i reserve the right to make my own decision.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:45, archived)

"virtual" lego??
wherewhere?
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:47, archived)

www.ldraw.org

edit: it's not very straightforward, i'll warn you...
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:49, archived)

I've seen it all now

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:54, archived)

really?
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:57, archived)

legoatse?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:59, archived)

It'll need
A LOT of red bricks.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:00, archived)

and those little plastic hands....
perhaps technic would be more appropriate
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:26, archived)

H
Possibly some kind of online diary, or "blog"?
( supermoore: HUNG, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:47, archived)

i tried to set one up using a PHP package, but it wouldn't work.
besides if i write on my own website, how is anyone going to find it, or be bothered to read what i've written ?
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:49, archived)

You shamelessly promote it
in every post you write on the board

www.myreallyboringlifebutreaditanyway.com
(pseudosocrates, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:50, archived)

I actually fucking
clicked that.
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:23, archived)

ditto
glad to hear i'm not alone
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:34, archived)

Maybe we should write a bit of collaborative
Hyperfiction, here on /talk.
(pseudosocrates, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:48, archived)

ah!
nonlinear fiction.
that gives me an idea what to do with the files i've been sent

so, option H then.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:53, archived)

Just uploaded you a little something
My pride and joy :))
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:33, archived)

blog like fuck, then play bass guitar
that's what i do
(not_real had his name thieved, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:02, archived)

could you make this website idea
img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/masterconnor/printscreen.gif

like b3ta zoo - but for screenshots :)
( connor, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:08, archived)

not a bad idea. but i've just started on something far more complex.
i'll post a link to a b3ta beta version later.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:10, archived)

I
Snail Mail goatse to random people from the phone book.
( Muns, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:17, archived)

all of them at once
im currently rocking out to loud music, attempting to do some work that i dont understand, filling in the gaps with doodling more georges and writing a long narrative about my lack of a job :)
( toxie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 19:11, archived)

Haikus are fun, but I am crap at them.
This chap is not though, he wrote this:

for the fat green frog
crouched on the log
time is flies
(pseudosocrates, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:44, archived)

I hate to be pedantic...
But the modern school system unfortunately misses a crucial point about haikus: they must refer to the seasons. Also he seems unable to count syllables...

Therefore:

The fat green frog thought.
How can I find a frog wife?
Scarce are winter flies...
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:50, archived)

Well, his argument on that is
that Haiku is based in a non-latinate language, and the rules for english haiku are merely approximations subject to minor interpretative differences.
"For example, they didn't take into account that in Japanese syllables are counted differently. What may be considered a 12-syllable verse in the West, may be counted as 17 in the East"

As for the seasonal thing, I think your version somewhat loses the original pun
(pseudosocrates, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:54, archived)

Aah, but it added a more subtle one
The frog looking for flies with which to impress his prospectve spouse considers that winter may not be a fruitful season in which to track them down...
Hard life, being a frog
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:35, archived)

Kick in the teef?
Or punch in the kidneys?

You can't say I didn't give you a choice.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:39, archived)

I would kick in the teef
He nicked my wallet.
Punch in the kidneys is bad, as is any other alcoholic cocktail infiltrating a vital organ
(pseudosocrates, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:40, archived)

'noonings
Have I missed the dancing naked ladies again?




/Bumrape Friday is nearly here!! Hurrah!!
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:16, archived)

'fraid so
I missed a couple of them too ... my prostate isn't what it used to be.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:18, archived)

I've given up completely.
I now keep it in egg cups & flick it at them with a silver spoon.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:20, archived)

Pfft!

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:23, archived)

if you did, then you're not the only one :(
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:18, archived)

Pffft!
Me and Lu did a public display of birching, what more do you want?
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:26, archived)

Bah...
Did you take photos?
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:29, archived)

Yes
They're £50 each.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:31, archived)

*starts saving pocket money*

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:33, archived)

*starts pocketing savings money*

(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:40, archived)

As we were discussing
www.b3ta.com/talk/26360
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:25, archived)

I can barely
sitdown contain myself!
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:26, archived)

I'll fetch
the rubber ring and ice pack.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:32, archived)

hehe, i read that as felch

(not_real had his name thieved, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:59, archived)

Haikus are fun.
Bob Todd should be God
At least Dictator of Earth
I am that woo yay

For thirty-two years
I have not once had a poo
Now I will explode
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:47, archived)

Quick one for you chaps
1: I've just blindly downloaded the Sun Java plug-in because, well, my spingly new Mozilla told me to.

Trouble is, my occasional frequenting of various Yahoo games rooms doesn't come up right, some of the text it tiny and it doesn't like their rating popups. (Does stop the advert popups a treat though).

Anyone know any other/better Java plugins?

2: What should one use for simple making of simple gifs/anim sequences? I want to make myself a woo...
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:37, archived)

1) works fine for me
2)image ready
( Randomgazz, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:43, archived)

slap your computer
and tell it to stop being so fucking shite.

Oh, I think you can animate in the GIMP (don't have it meself, keep meaning to download it, blah blah).
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:46, archived)

GIMP
for GIF
I use it, I think Lemony has some tutorials for animating with it on his site.
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:46, archived)

Static woos are fine.
Mine is.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:48, archived)

a webcam
an erection
and a small fez

or one of the simple freebie gif animators like unfreeze and gifthingummy ... name escapes me ... have a look on google and download.com
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:49, archived)

1) check if there's a Questionmark icon
in the left hand side of your status bar next time you go- you can tell it not to block certain popups.

2) I use ImageReady, but I hear Gimp does animation and that's free.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:23, archived)

Can I just say...
...I'm staying in a gorgeous house in the country at the moment with a bar that stays open as long as we keep wanting drinks, the sun is shining all day, there's a lake with ducks and everything, loads of like-minded people here to provide hours of stimulating discussion and/or filthy jokes, the food's great and unlimited in quantity, there's a huge lawn for playing frisbee and stuff, there's one of the best climbing trees I've ever climbed, biscuits and cakes and tea in the breaks between talks and I got to sit next to this utterly stunning blonde in the lecture this morning.

And people think physics is dull.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:34, archived)

Well I'm going to the pub
so, meh!
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:35, archived)

So am I.
To bloody work. :(


Although admittedly I'll spend the first two hours getting paid to play pool. :)
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:38, archived)

Hurrah!

( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:40, archived)

And maybe have a few vodkas
and then forget the alarm code when locking up.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:44, archived)

1-2-3-4
most likely
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:50, archived)

Close
but no cigar.

Actually - have a cigar. I can never sell the damn things anyway.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:52, archived)

*dips wet end in amyl nitrate
and dry end in crystal meth*

bonzer!
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:54, archived)

Good on you.
Can we come? I'll bring my photon spectrometer?
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:38, archived)

We've got a dozen already.
But we're a bit short of positronic interositors relying on the transperambulation of pseudocosmic antimatter.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:42, archived)

i have
some spare
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:43, archived)

I've got an autowankomulator
can I come?
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:45, archived)

With ease,
if you've got one of those.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:47, archived)

all science is great.
it allows other things to rock.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:43, archived)

And there was me thinking it just explained *why* things rock.

( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:45, archived)

mostly
it just provides an inconsistent and limited-use model to allow us to predict how things will rock
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:51, archived)

Arf!
As an ex-physics student, I see how that is true. And now I'm off.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:55, archived)

Surely geology rocks more...
*belms*
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:53, archived)

Hi I like a simple thing.... Lying on the sand and see a seabirds fly, see the moon at night... My hobbies are reading any books, spend time in the mountain and singing.... I hate smelly thing and darkness....

I'm lookinf for the love of my life..someone that I want to spend and share my life with..someone that I die with..Someone who he is sending from heaven to me...I hope you are the right one..It will the best gift of my life and the answer of my pray..contact me
uk.personals.yahoo.com/personals-1062580528-905366
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:28, archived)

You're hoping to find the love of your life
on fucking b3ta?!

EDIT: Just clicked the link. D'oh!
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:33, archived)

Yeah right
I'm single not desperate.

*hides*
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:33, archived)

Well why not
It's full of well balanced individuals*.



*May not be true
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:34, archived)

that said
most of them would be willing to have sex with you.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:40, archived)

But
not until bumrape friday obviously.

It's the law.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:45, archived)

I'm anxiously waiting until midnight
*Lubes up*
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 17:05, archived)

3'4
That makes even me look tall. :)
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:34, archived)

She's looking for a man
between 3 feet and seven feet who earns 100, 000
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:34, archived)

Ha ha!
I was just going to say that!

It's ok though, cos his eyes can be Black, Blue, Brown, Grey, Green OR Hazel
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:36, archived)

OR Hazel?
Wow, she's crazy.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:38, archived)

I'm thinking
circus performer/owner.

Who also uses his circus as a cover for selling 'small arms'(pun not really intended) to iraq.
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:41, archived)

Apparently I'm average height for a Viking woman.
5'6".
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:43, archived)

All those fantastic oddities
and instead of enjoying them I read the word "hobbies" as "nobbies" and collapse giggling.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:38, archived)

Hee hee
What size are these?

The answer.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:17, archived)

Wrong
so very wrong
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:19, archived)

Was it you saying you'd bought the SotD DVD yesterday?
Watched the funking extras yet?
( Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:20, archived)

Yes
I laughed my arse off at the bit in the pub where he keeps describing the woman in the corner
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:22, archived)

The 'safe for TV' version
had me struggling for breath
( Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:26, archived)

Yeah
the funking prink bits had me falling off my chair.

I wish I lived in a country where the full SFTV version played.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:28, archived)

'Why Notch?'
'Becase Ai Lavva!'
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:24, archived)

www.b3ta.com/nsfwlinks/
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:21, archived)

Aww, you got my hopes up.

( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:32, archived)

I'm sick of following links to video clips, sitting waiting for them to load, and realising i can't click on 'back' to open in a new window.
What i need is some kind of browser that lets you do 'tabbed' browsing, so i can sort of open pages in different frames.
Anybody know of anything that does that. ?
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:16, archived)

hmmm...
ummm.. errr.. something to do with flames.. um...
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:17, archived)

Can I add
a fox to that?
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:28, archived)

do whatever you want,
just get the hell off my car.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:33, archived)

Nothing exists
sorry.

Next
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:17, archived)

OOh it's such a shame
there's nothing that's a BIT like explorer, but more secure...

(and doesn't download all the world's activeX controls)
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:18, archived)

Erm...


Nah.

You're stuck with IE
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:18, archived)

well...
thanks for giving it some thought anyway.

I'll carry on with IE and these bloody popups.
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:19, archived)

I'm sure I heard Evil Lu mention something once.
But it was only in passing and I had an eye infection and I might have read her message incorrectly. And it was ages ago and my mind has been numbed by alcohol abuse.
( Nimble Colin camera-wrangling, globe-trotting whisky enthusiast, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:19, archived)

I want to waste all my time on a website
Preferably with funny pictures and some awful poesy.
Anyone know a site that does that?
( Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:19, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/26313
( Hankster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:19, archived)

Nuts

( Deebster, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:20, archived)

/spangs self for clicking on that link
repeatedly
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:34, archived)

Only one.
www.bbc.co.uk/collective/

If only there was some way to find things on the internet...
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:20, archived)

yeah, like some kind
of text bar - that lets you erm.. search for stuff.
(CaptainMonkeyPants Doesn't care for it at all., Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:21, archived)

whoa.. slow down there.
I'm not sure the world's ready for your ideas
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:22, archived)

Please tell me
you're being ironic.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:21, archived)

Don't think so...
But i'm always liable to be wrong
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:32, archived)

We should honour this momentous occassion.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 27 May 2005, 15:18, archived)

Yes.
FUCKING MARVELLOUS YOU giant WALNUT bearing haddock flute boiler nuance inspector.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 27 May 2005, 15:20, archived)

yay!
I made a new theme type mabob for my website www.sprinkles.me.uk - it's "Sky"
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:13, archived)

CssTastic.
Nicely done.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:15, archived)

Fucking hell
that's blue.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:19, archived)

Choose Sky,
it's a lighter nicer blue
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 16:21, archived)