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New Image Challenge: Let's make a book

it's a bit different this week. Let's use the mighty power of b3ta to make a book.

www.b3ta.com/features/sickjokebook/

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:50, archived)

what a great idea Squire!

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:51, archived)

let's publish it through a real publisher

and get it in the shops.

I'm going to make this happen - with all your help.

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:51, archived)

^ This

I know i'd buy it

(

Rainbow Mong, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:52, archived)

The whole world... well

maybe the theiving bastards at the sun might buy it

(Azzek!, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:54, archived)

Sir, you're a genius!

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:53, archived)

At the risk of sounding thick

are we to contribute sick jokes or did you have something else/more in mind?

Edit: If it's anything sick then may we just declare Mongychops the winner right now?

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:53, archived)

I want people to add jokes to the QOTW

and other people to make illustrations

all explained in the page

www.b3ta.com/features/sickjokebook/

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:54, archived)

big london piss up

for all contributors

*gets thinking of ideas*

how can anybody resist

(

Rainbow Mong, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:55, archived)

Simple

trans-continental plane flights suck.

(Azzek!, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:57, archived)

Terribly sorry

I'm sweltering in this heat and didn't notice the text on that link due to ~~sweat~~ perspiration clouding me eyes.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:57, archived)

can I please

warm my cold hands on your hot body

er...that sounds so, so wrong

(

mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:18, archived)

Yeah, Mongy and Leningrad will have a field day with this one...

(

tipassoi, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:55, archived)

and

prodigy69

(stunt_penguin | missed his b3ta birthday :'(, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:03, archived)

Hmmm

Did you know that link says you posted it 2 years ago today, Rob?

"Rob Manuel, 1st Feb 2004" it says at the bottom....

(Soupy Twist BEST BEFORE:, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:55, archived)

what a spacker

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:56, archived)

hehe

That's better.

Carry on!

(Soupy Twist BEST BEFORE:, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:58, archived)

ooh...

interesting...

(

Damien's Hearse, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:51, archived)

oooh

cracking!

(

Rainbow Mong, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:51, archived)

hahaha

I like it! Should be good...

(

tipassoi, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:51, archived)

what kind of book oh ginger leader?

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:53, archived)

a sick joke book

read the link - I've been typing like a gaylord on poppers for the last couple of hours...

www.b3ta.com/features/sickjokebook/

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:53, archived)

What happened to the link on the FP for that b3ta tv thing?

it just disappeared, and made me question whether I dreamt it up

(Flabbergaster laughs at danger (and breaks all the rules), Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:55, archived)

i took it down

as people were misunderstanding the reason for it being there, it was a "this is a oddity from the past" rather than "let's campaign for a TV show."

And I've been thinking about this book idea for the last couple of weeks and thought it confuses the issue.

The link is still available if you go to the 'fun shit' page off the FP and scroll down.

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:58, archived)

Peppers, Shirley?

C];0)

(

Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:56, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Funniest thing I've read all day.

(

Hamster Trippin' aka Mr. Titts, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:02, archived)

how big a picture?

(

new_matt, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:57, archived)

sorry

my bad, should have read it really.

i shall put my drawding skills to use with some illustrations for you.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:01, archived)

thank you very much

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:04, archived)

shite

this is going to waste even more of my time!

there's 62 pages of fucking jokes!!!!!

edit: many of these jokes are racist - is this part of the plan?

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:53, archived)

Tricky

because some jokes that make fun of racial steroetypes are sick and funny.

E.G what do you call an indian lesbian?
Mingeeta

But i think the "Take your foot off his head" type is beyond the pale. Discuss..

(

Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:00, archived)

agreed

on all 3 points, however the Indian lesbian joke (which is very good by the way) is not actually sick

(

Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:10, archived)

yeah - but fuck dictionary definitions

'the off-colour, rude and offensive joke book' isn't as good title as 'sick jokes'

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:13, archived)

Ok then....

What do you call an indian Lesbian with blood hanging out of her cunt?

Mingeeta abortion

Haha Haha Haha

(

Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:14, archived)

and I agree with you

I've read the first page of the QOTW for sick jokes and have gone all prissy now.

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:17, archived)

Oh i say

this should be special

(Azzek!, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:53, archived)

LUVVERLY!!!

(

diablo290582 Professional.....something., Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:55, archived)

fuck yes!

(

MrA, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:55, archived)

excellent plan!

(

Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:56, archived)

I like this!

arf!

(

c_kick or, as some people call him, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:56, archived)

oh dear lord

ok, go on then

[edit] btw, what size image?

(

new_matt, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:56, archived)

think ordinary paperback book

at 300DPI

I'll get some sizes and add them to the page in a bit - but just aim for TOO BIG and you'll be fine.

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:59, archived)

rightyho!

(

new_matt, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:01, archived)

You can get normal sizes from .. .err...

lulu.com its self publishing but has layouts ect ...
and i guess its all fairly standard stuff, im writing
a book this year too, getting there got the page numbers
done already !!

(

Munky Boy today I am back., Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:21, archived)

yay

(

homonk, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:58, archived)

fucking excellent

(

Mr Gimpson Wolfguts, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:59, archived)

My God I love this!!!

*brain asplodes with joy*

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 15:59, archived)

Step 6

Profit.

(

Mr Gear the gay-maker, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:02, archived)

ACE

I nominate a mushybees rendering of Bernard Manning for the front cover

(

Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:03, archived)

and Mr Bees should be on at least 20 pages :)

(

Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:18, archived)

i would just like to say

RACIST JOKE DOES NOT EQUAL SICK JOKE

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:05, archived)

If a racist joke makes you feel sick then

surely it is?

(

Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:06, archived)

we don't plan to run racist jokes

personally I'm fine with the dawn french one - but I'm sure others have other opinions

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:07, archived)

Dawn French

for example

(

Mr Gimpson Wolfguts, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:25, archived)

So that you can sell it?

(

Lord Manley of Ven www.justgiving.com/manley - please?, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:06, archived)

yes - we will attempt to flog it

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:08, archived)

with all the proceeds going to the running of b3ta

for the good of us all!
hurray!

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:13, archived)

Yeah...

(

Delete Me, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:50, archived)

If coke, rentboys and whores count as the 'running of b3ta' then yes,

I'm sure the proceeds will go towards the running of b3ta.

(

Laughing Boy, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 17:01, archived)

^^^this

I'll buy that for a dollar.

(

MrHeed, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 20:03, archived)

That sounds mighty.

(

Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:08, archived)

Crumbs!

(

Doc G and Sid the Monkey may contain traces of spatula, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:08, archived)

Seconded.

(

busy phil is still bloody busy, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:13, archived)

cor!

what a lovely idea

(

mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:14, archived)

GIS: baby

GIS: chainsaw

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:38, archived)

Get in touch with the folk who publish the Viz swearword dictionary

I'm sure they'd be interested!

edit:

Boxtree, and imprint of Pan Macmillan Ltd.

www.panmacmillan.com

(

Delete Me, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:45, archived)

Sickest thing I've done

fucking massive print size

(

Strawberry Dragon, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 16:56, archived)

that is exactly on the money

cheers for post

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 17:02, archived)

no probs

I'll have a think and see what else I can come up with

(

Strawberry Dragon, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 17:12, archived)

yay

and hooplah

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 20:28, archived)

Well then, if you're going to sell it,

Have this I just made.

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Lord Manley of Ven www.justgiving.com/manley - please?, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 17:29, archived)

fucking great idea, Mr Manuel!

One question, is 300 the minimus DPI or the maximuM DPI?

(

Laughing Boy, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 19:08, archived)

I've been advised via email

Make an illustration at 300 DPI 5" x 8.5" - that's a whopping 1650px X 2550px

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 20:28, archived)

Colour...

... or B/W, or greyscale.

Which is best?

(Is it just me?, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 20:06, archived)

anything you like

I want the book to use colour - but some b&w pics will make it cheaper to print.

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 20:27, archived)

Do the pictures you're after have to be related to a sick joke

or can they be incredibly tasteless jokes that rely more on visual gags than a setup and punchline?

I.E.

(

Muns, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 20:29, archived)

Shirley

that's just an everyday b3ta image?

(

Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 21:40, archived)

open to anything really

as long as it's sick/funny and doesn't have copyright problems

(

rob, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 22:29, archived)

The latter might be an issue for the majority of stuff on the board

You'll have to get people take responsibility for their own images so you can't be sued.

(

Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Wed 1 Feb 2006, 23:30, archived)

Let's try and get on...

...the front page of The Daily Mail for "crossing the line of moral society"

(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 3:17, archived)

make sure you put in

plenty of jokes and cartoons offensive to muslims, for the extra publicity

(

Strawberry Dragon, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 0:28, archived)

Categories

How are you planning on categorising this?
By joke length (like one liners, shaggy dogs, etc.) or by how they're offensive (racist, cripple, paedo, etc.)?

(greenycrimson I stole the from pyschotherapist, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 13:26, archived)

tagging images?

discuss..

(

brianftang www.brianftang.co.uk, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 13:51, archived)

According to my photoshop..

300 DPI 5" x 8.5" is not a whopping 1650px x 2550px but a not-as-whopping 1500px x 2550px. This makes it 5.5" x 8.5".

So which should take preference? 5"x8.5" or 1650px x 2550px? I've drawn an illustration and done it at the latter, so I hope that's ok. It could always be squished and squashed if it's not.

Ta.

(

Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 2 Feb 2006, 16:09, archived)

it's just a guide

basically either of those sizes are fine.

Basically erring on the side of too big is good as you said squashing is not a problem. Scaling up a 280px image is.

(

rob, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 15:12, archived)

Alrighty then.

*Opens up a 10,000px x 15,000px psd file*

*computer crashes*

Bollocks.

(

Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Sat 4 Feb 2006, 15:13, archived)

the banana and vibe joke

(

o0neo, Sat 4 Feb 2006, 14:29, archived)

the banana and vibe

(

o0neo, Sat 4 Feb 2006, 14:36, archived)

legal issue

I asked my dad (who's a publisher) about this and he said some of the jokes would contravene race relations/sexual discrimination legislation. Worth watching out for . . .

(Radio Free iPods "Fickt nicht mit dem Raketenmensch!", Mon 6 Feb 2006, 22:46, archived)

I dunno -

I've seen jokebooks that are just tasteless jokes before.

(

Bob Todd whee, Tue 7 Feb 2006, 23:45, archived)

Challenge

Hmmmm. . .

If you're looking for publicity, a good image challenge might be "Photoshop Mohammed." Look what a fatwa has done for Salman Rushdie!

(24601, Tue 7 Feb 2006, 1:45, archived)