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# Steve Strange - remember him? "Ahh - ahhh - fade to grey."
I've had an email inviting me to his birthday party.

Spam is getting weirder by the day.

www.pcokz.com/
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:35, archived)
# That actualy sounds pirtty cool
i'ld come dressed as PurpleDog
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:37, archived)
# looks like you can go if you want
there was nothing in the email that suggested they had the faintest idea who they were sending it to.

I think it's a ruse to promote a club night. "Oooh! Look! There's famous people there. Well vaguely famousish people."
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:38, archived)
# and you have to print out
a page of photos for cheap entry?
(I helped save b3ta! Reverend Dan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:37, archived)
# that would come to three pages
how handy
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:40, archived)
# I've got a HP DesignJet 750c here
prints on big plotter rolls.


Shall I?...
(I helped save b3ta! mookid, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:44, archived)
# As it's a double celebration...
50 years since the Coronation, and 50 years of Playboy... maybe this is a fitting tribute...
(I helped save b3ta! Ambiguous, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:29, archived)
# This is a b3tt3r read:
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:30, archived)
# augh!
make it go away, please.
(Mademoiselle BOO, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:32, archived)
# Would you?
for once, i'ld say 'no'....drink depending.
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:33, archived)
# Ha
hahahahahahahahahahaahahahhaahhaahahahahahah
(Mr M@ Probably not that difficult!, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:33, archived)
# wash your mind out
with soapy titwank water.
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:34, archived)
# oh
that reminds me
(SFW)
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:35, archived)
# apparently
kittens are the new kittens
(I helped save b3ta! gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:36, archived)
# did you find that
under your bed?
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:36, archived)
#
yes
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:38, archived)
# I'm so pleased
that I can only see a redex.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:31, archived)
# Arrrrrgggghhhhh
Make it go away mummy
(I helped save b3ta! @man move along, nothing to see here on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:31, archived)
# Mummy?
what you doing on page 3?
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:34, archived)
# not as offensive
as the title would suggest.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:34, archived)
# Wooo
b/t/w doesn't that b3taboy above look a bit like someone we know (face only)
(Mr M@ Probably not that difficult!, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:35, archived)
# I think that's the idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:37, archived)
# It is the same.....
....but I shopped the rest
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:38, archived)
# "Coooey!"
www.joergs-british-autographs.de/elizabeth-II.jpg
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:36, archived)
# Ha ha ha
that's very funny and a hell of a lot nice than B3taboy...

/shudder
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:37, archived)
# Just had some office type pie chart drawing test made me do this
(Alienboy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:27, archived)
# Do the words tight....
...and beaver figure in this feast of visual punnery?
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:29, archived)
[challenge entry] the biggest release of the summer


its my 106th entry so far but hey, its been a slow weekend!
(The_Notorious_Mini, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# Is that dawn french?
?
(yorkpete, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# Na
its Vanessa Feltz
(I helped save b3ta! Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:26, archived)
# give it
another month & it'll be Christina Aguilera.
(The_Notorious_Mini, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:27, archived)
# I love Anglo-Saxons.
They are so meanspirited!!!
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:45, archived)
# How glamorous!
www.montclair.edu/Pages/FineArts/students/webclass/fiorenza/photos/divift.jpg
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# is that you
and


is that real?
(I helped save b3ta! notshitashi OMOH, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:25, archived)
# It is me.
It's the day I ran away from home.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:33, archived)
# i like purple people
will you marry me? once twice trice
(I helped save b3ta! notshitashi OMOH, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:39, archived)
# Yes.
Yes I will. Do you have disabled access chez toi?
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:42, archived)
# loon
you said you "ran" away from home :)

anyway I'm off studying again
see ye later
(I helped save b3ta! notshitashi OMOH, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:50, archived)
# IS that the girl
from You've been framed?
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:28, archived)
# Lisa Riley...
she was the inspiration
(The_Notorious_Mini, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:30, archived)
# I think she should host
"Celeb Fat Club"....mean? yes.
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:32, archived)
# i'd like
to hit her with a Celebrity Fat Club
(The_Notorious_Mini, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:34, archived)
# We could take her clubbing
seal-style.
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:35, archived)
# out on the ice


woohalfmanhalfbiscuit
(I helped save b3ta! @man move along, nothing to see here on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:42, archived)
[challenge entry] Bad pun, worse effort at shopping
(krull, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:22, archived)
# Genius
Consider my cap doffed!
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:22, archived)
# eek
.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:22, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
wanktastic!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# nice
Double points if you searched for all those mag covers at work.
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# it's a photo he took at home
allegedly
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# he clearly
slid them out from under the bed and took a photo.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# actually
I think you're right, only the note looks shopped
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:27, archived)
# she really is making a point
with an A4 sized post-it note.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:29, archived)
# maybe it is midget porn
and a normal note
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:29, archived)
# Midget Orientals
...now that's specialised!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:32, archived)
# well it's special at any rate
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:39, archived)
#
www.jobbydealer.com/idx1.htm
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:26, archived)
# ha ha
quality
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# that's a pretty impressive pile of pr0n
i hope it's all yours in real life
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# Asian Babes, Orient & Swank.....
....a man of quality
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:27, archived)
# Is that
magazine (bottom left) called Swank?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# it's an American mag
Homer reads it in The Simpsons.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:25, archived)
# really,
wow.
I bet it doesn't have the articles in it that I imagine it to have.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:26, archived)
# articles
in a jazz mag? You've been buying the wrong ones.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:28, archived)
# If I ran a magazine called
Swank it would have articles about tobacco and top hats, and gentlemens clubs, and the best type of leather arm chairs.



(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:30, archived)
# And
'How to be smug'
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:31, archived)
# Yes,
exactly.

And yes, I have read The Chap.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:32, archived)
# yes
it's a high quality american jazz mag. so people tell me
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:26, archived)
# Is it good?
No, it swank.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:26, archived)
# That really shouldn't have me me laugh
as much as it did.
(krull, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:29, archived)
# Top Drawer!
Woo for comedy gold...
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:26, archived)
# hahahaha
you said "flick"
(dognutz, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:31, archived)
# T
hat's gotta be a winner.
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:36, archived)
# Trainee B3tans
PARP Progam
(I helped save b3ta! @man move along, nothing to see here on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:20, archived)
# Honk!
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:22, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# is that real?
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# of course it is
it's a well known fact you can see a goose's thoughts of exclamation.
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:25, archived)
# not if it's a goose
(I helped save b3ta! notshitashi OMOH, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:25, archived)
# Are you saying
that Geese never get suprised?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:28, archived)
# Of course they do
Look: www.b3ta.com/board/1308157
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:30, archived)
# i'm in an
infinite loop now
(I helped save b3ta! notshitashi OMOH, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:32, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=8322
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:43, archived)
# thanks
that got me out
(I helped save b3ta! notshitashi OMOH, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:51, archived)
# I love that pic
dunno y
(yorkpete, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:25, archived)
# It comes between x and z.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:27, archived)
# We actually have an antibody to poly-ADP-ribose-polymerase in the fridge
www.bioreagents.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/products.detail/CatNbr/PA3-951
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# Everyone
has a funny name in that article.

Mayor Glacken
Mrs Meigh
Leo F Giblyn Elementary School
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# Honk!
[edit] Damnit! b3tan again!
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# These are the *Facts*
sign to the right and above the mayor's head
(I helped save b3ta! @man move along, nothing to see here on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:27, archived)
[challenge entry] I'm not very good at this compo


but I found this pic, and knew something had to be done with it...
(I helped save b3ta! PoofBird ~V~, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:20, archived)
# Cats, in socks...
la la la la la la laaa

Hulton Archive pic? They have tonnes of odd images like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# yes
Hulton is my friend.
(I helped save b3ta! PoofBird ~V~, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:27, archived)
[challenge entry] Babys got a temper
(Cannibal Clown, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:20, archived)
# yay!
progidy!

yay!
picture!
(I helped save b3ta! stevierar, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:22, archived)
# I would be pissed off too
if i had to where that stupid thing on my head. as ive said before, babies are scary.
(Mademoiselle BOO, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# somones? of?
tsk. SOMEONE's really pissed 'em OFF this time

Yes I'm pedantic but I like things present and correct :)

(I helped save b3ta! poshpaws, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:42, archived)
# Terrible.

And they don't even gently sway in the breeze properly. Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:18, archived)
# Emma Bunting?
*groan*
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:20, archived)
# Frayed
sew
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:21, archived)
# cow levitating over holes
(this farming man, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:17, archived)
# lol
that obiously ended up being something else than you intended it to be.

wtf at this sentence
(I helped save b3ta! notshitashi OMOH, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:18, archived)
# rolf mayo
 
(Divvy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:20, archived)
# The proud crew
of the Memphis Bellend.

(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:15, archived)
# Hahahahahahaha
The front gunner would be have to have the nickname 'Mr Spunky'
EDIT: But we don't mention the rear-gunner
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:16, archived)
# is that real
?
(I helped save b3ta! notshitashi OMOH, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:17, archived)
# your all
Enola Gay
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:19, archived)
# *badoom-tsh*
(I helped save b3ta! Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:20, archived)
# shut it
little boy
(I helped save b3ta! aubergene, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:21, archived)
# you've never met me
have you
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:30, archived)
# Aubergene
is twelve feet tall.
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:31, archived)
# No reason but I
Knew I'd seen her before somewhere!!!




Edit/ Better?
(Mr M@ Probably not that difficult!, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:09, archived)
# Is that the former crack-whore
Trisha?
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:10, archived)
# former crack whore,
anorexic, buleimic, manic depressive, self harming woman of the world Trisha?

Yeah, that's the one
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:11, archived)
# Seeing the name sick boy
and the word bulemic (although, I'm sure that's not the spelling edit nope, it's bulimic) just sparked a song off in my head:)

*sings to himself: See my sister in the bedroom, she's bulemic with her fingers down her throat, is it really any wonder, I'm a junkie, and I'm living on dope?*
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:14, archived)
# That sounds crack(whore)ing!
Record it and post it please....
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:16, archived)
# It's already a song...what sparked it off was
Sickboy is the name of the lead guitarist in a band called Schism...and that's one of theirs...
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:20, archived)
# Ah
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# yeah right
you go with the big and clever there.
(I helped save b3ta! Batsgirl, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:21, archived)
# i don't think she was a crack whore, you know
she took painkillers and attempted suicide twice... there's a fuller story in today's independent.
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:17, archived)
# well
yes she is pug ugly and fucking annoying..
(I helped save b3ta! Darkedge, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:10, archived)
# But she has a gorgeous Barratt show home...
...which she shares with her pikey family.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:15, archived)
# its a
(I helped save b3ta! Ambiguous, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:10, archived)
# he's
your dad
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:14, archived)
# obi wan
never told you about your father...
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:17, archived)
# that is probably the best pic of him I've seen
Pogue
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:15, archived)
# very good
so photogenic
(I helped save b3ta! Ambiguous, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:18, archived)
# A
hahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha

hadn't seen that.

hahahahahahahahaha
(Divvy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# me neither
hahahahaha!!!
(I helped save b3ta! magoo, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:28, archived)
# if I didn't have a job
I guess I would know who she is.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:12, archived)
# she's
your mum.
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:13, archived)
# hey up mate.
What you up to on saturday?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:15, archived)
# how odd
I was going to ask you what you were up to tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:21, archived)
# why, whats on tonight?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:23, archived)
# nothing, that is sort of the point
What magical wonders are happening on Saturday?

(points towards e-mail programme)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:26, archived)
[challenge entry] oh dear oh dear
(dognutz, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:03, archived)
# boulderdash
arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:06, archived)
# Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:06, archived)
# I've seen this beofre.
Get those rocks off!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:07, archived)
# I've seen them before too...
...www.kittyville.com/pix/images/crack.jpeg
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:16, archived)
# daaadddyyyy
'rocks' is on!

*watches as daddy enthousiastically yet painfully rolls down the stairs
(I helped save b3ta! notshitashi OMOH, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:16, archived)
# Is that Punk-Rock
or Metal-Rock ?
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:08, archived)
# Dayshift!
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:02, archived)
# re-post
?
(I helped save b3ta! Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:03, archived)
# I
wouldn't dare. Joe is just having a look round the dayshift.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:05, archived)
# is he related to cotton- eye joe?
or would that be a one-eyed being of another hue?
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:04, archived)
# Cotton-Eye Joe
was part of the inspiration for the name. The rest is related to acid flashbacks, shelves and ex girlfriends.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:06, archived)
# acid flashbacks, shelves and ex girlfriends.
sounds like Handy Andy's autobiography
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:13, archived)
# I don't know who that is
but I loved hearing about it!
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:14, archived)
# He's the DIY "expert"
on a programme called Changing Rooms.
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:19, archived)
# Hmmm...
Is that worth going back to watching TV for?
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:27, archived)
# Hahahaa
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:14, archived)
# Ooh!
repost!
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:17, archived)
# More!
More!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:05, archived)
# This is the nicest part
pf the day time....when people are looking forward to getting home:)

But these are so woo I'm jealous
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:21, archived)
[challenge entry] Haa,aaaaave a cuppa tea
(I helped save b3ta! Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:02, archived)
# hahahaha
soupherb!
(I helped save b3ta! lady_delirium, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:03, archived)
# and we were getting nowhere,
and so, we, had a cup of tea
My Dad has got that.
(I helped save b3ta! Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:08, archived)
# Huzzah
but that's a great song.
</quibble>
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:12, archived)
# Sick Boy's Weekly Rant.....and it's only Monday....


J.D. Weatherspoon (purveyors of continental beer brewed in or near Swindon) have just announced that they are to erect signs in their hostelries instructing their clientele not to use mobile phones or swear whilst on the premises. Now, I am not normally a man that rises to corporate goading but this, sir, is a step to far. At which point do we rise up and protest against these infringements of our civil liberties? They are being eroded one by one by faceless do-gooders who believe that a nanny-state is the only way to stop us from hurting ourselves. Gone is my right to partake of a cheeky cigarette in these bars and now my other vice (swearing) is under threat. Hailing from Scotland, most of my extra-curricular activities involve drinking, smoking and/or swearing (these are compulsory modules in our education system – the Scottish parliament has asked for these to become exhibition events at the next Olympics so that we have a podium chance). Removing my right to do them together in a pub as god intended is nothing short of insanity. I implore you, my fellow b3tans, to join me in sparking up a Capstan Full Strength, donning your hands-free kits and shouting ‘cock!’ at the people who are shackling the actions of free-thinking citizens in this country. I thank you for your patience and allowing me to blow the cobwebs from my spleen. /RANT

Oh, and my friendly neighbourhood Post Office clerk insisted that postage to Aberdeen was European and not UK domestic…….again.
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:01, archived)
# It is a crap pub chain
Full of fuckwits anyway
(Alienboy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:02, archived)
# i like the cambridge wetherspoons -
its big but usually quiet enough to have a nice chat.

plus on saturday nights its full of 18 year olds in skirts barely short enough to cover their panties...

(also quite a fan of the moon under water in Leicester Square, but got in a huge fight in the one on Watford, so not keen ;)
(I helped save b3ta! djdirect, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:05, archived)
# Wet Her Spoons
heheheheheehhehe
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:12, archived)
# Do they still do the
Curry and Comedy night? Or was that somewhere else entirely?
(I helped save b3ta! Fronds are waving gently on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:12, archived)
# the one in Leicester Square
is awful! Rammed full, and 95% of them are Ameican tourists.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:16, archived)
# the 'Spoons
in my town has pictures of old local inns and pubs all over it, just the sort of place that chain pubs are helping to destroy.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:08, archived)
# like a museum to a lost way of life...
..reminiscent of the Jewish quarter in prague and just as sinister.
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:11, archived)
# They're shitholes,
spend you're money elsewhere! The extra you spend on drinks is worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:03, archived)
# pubs and swearing belong together.
Fortunately, not all pubs are owned by JD Wethersporks. Bunch of arseholes.

(Scotland here too)
(I helped save b3ta! chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:03, archived)
# I am in exile in London...
..until I return and claim my throne
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:07, archived)
# I stay at
home most of the time - as soon as I leave the house it's don't do this, don't do that so sod it - I stay in.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:04, archived)
# You could always not go
to any of JD Wetherspoons' hideous pubs and frequent the many establishments that still allow their clientele to enjoy themselves on the premises.
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:04, archived)
# I thought of this.....
...but it is the start of the rot. Soon we will not be allowed to be drunk/leary anywhere.
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:05, archived)
# i think banning phones in pubs is a great idea
but no swearing? bollocks to that!

they should ban all children too.
(I helped save b3ta! Reverend Dan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:06, archived)
# they should ban banning stuff.
.
(I helped save b3ta! chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:07, archived)
# From
the whole world.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:07, archived)
# I agree with the phones.....
but not the fucking swearing! They just happened to announce the two together to gain support from the ant-phone, pro-swearing lobby.
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:09, archived)
# and that's a big lobby.
.
(I helped save b3ta! chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:13, archived)
# What you said.
But aren't they just going to alienate 99.9% of their clientele? It's corporate suicide!
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:16, archived)
# You've
got more chance of shitting in the Queens handbag.
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:06, archived)
# they're just softening you up for the banning of alcohol.
anyway, enjoy the rules. go into a jd wetherspoon's, and start reporting anyone on a phone, or who is smoking, or swears. inform the barstaff and tell them that if they don't remove the culprits you'll have no option but to call head office (number should be obtainable from their website) and tell them that their rules are being unacceptably broken.

you could probably clear the pub in three hours.
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:07, archived)
# that is the wisest way forward
use their own stupid rules against them
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:17, archived)
# good I'm glad
mobile phones are the worse thing ever invented
*FACT*
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:07, archived)
# Actually
Banana skin shoes are the worst thing ever invented.
*FACT*
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:10, archived)
#
Banana skin shoes are the worst thing ever invented.
*FICTION* ;)
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:10, archived)
# nah
unsliceable bread
(yorkpete, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:12, archived)
# I was going to get
rid of my mobile but then I'd only be contactable by e-mail and would miss a lot of booze ups.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:10, archived)
# mine
was very handy after the bus/car interface I was involved in though!
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:11, archived)
# I completely agree
It costs me £60 a month to have one, it's annoying, and very unsocial when you or your mates start phoning or texting in their/your presence.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:17, archived)
#
Really ?
/Starts texting mate to tell them what Dr Drink just said.
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:20, archived)
# I got kicked out of a Wetherspoons
a couple of years back for saying "fuck" very loudly....apparently.

I blame them, they sold me loads of beer and vodka.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:14, archived)
# I wasn't let in last year for being under age


I was 27 at the time :(
(I helped save b3ta! mookid, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:29, archived)
# apparantly theyre banning other stuff too
like drinking, breathing and people. 'cos they get on old people's heaving breasts
(I helped save b3ta! GTA, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:18, archived)
# They serve shit
cider as well: Dry Blackthorn. Yeugh! I'll have a Scrumpy Jack please.
(I helped save b3ta! <>Dog www.stevelaker.blog, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:19, archived)
# some pitcher an piano's have banned dancing or rythmic movement.
I facy getting a big gang together, all going down their, moving rythmically, and when we get told not to, say "this is the AGM of the London Parkinsons support group."

Even if we dont get free beer, its got to be worth it to see the look on some poor bar managers face.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:22, archived)
# Hahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:24, archived)
# I really wanted to make a duck-filled platypus
but I can't be arsed.
(nicepaul, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 13:59, archived)
# were you replying to something?
or just talking random crap?
(I helped save b3ta! Darkedge, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:00, archived)
# just
random
(nicepaul, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:00, archived)
# well please don't
threadwaste next time.
(I helped save b3ta! Darkedge, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:03, archived)
# are they mutally exclusive
options?
(I helped save b3ta! lady_delirium, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:00, archived)
# how about a stuffed silly chicken
na

can't be arsed
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:00, archived)
# I really wanted to rule the world
But instead I wasted a thread...
(I helped save b3ta! ClovenHoovedUngulate, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:00, archived)
# first
you'll need a daddy platpus and a mummy platapus

and some romantic music
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:01, archived)
# do you have
a picture of a mate we could photoshop?
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:01, archived)
# At last!!!
THREADJACK!

I've got a batch of mpegs (and DV encoded avi versions if that helps) which include an audio track. The audio is blank, but because it's there the filesize is huge.

Can anyone think of a nice easy way for me to ditch the audio track?

I have a demo copy of premiere, but can't work out how to get it to export an mpeg (either with or without audio! :-)
(I helped save b3ta! LP, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:02, archived)
# I've got
a cut down version of premiere, and I don't think it exports mpeg either. you could save it as an avi with no sound though. is that no good?
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:05, archived)
# i think
virtual dub can strip the sound off of avi files. It's a free program and it is very handy to have around.
(Cervantes de Léon, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:06, archived)
# that might work
Hmmm... looks like avi2mpg1 might be handy too.
(I helped save b3ta! LP, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:09, archived)
# Quicktime Pro would do the job
If I recall correctly.
(I helped save b3ta! jonas is not my name, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:18, archived)
# shame I
a) don't have a mac
b) am alergic to quicktime
c) don't really have any money to throw at the problem right now anyway :-(

Thanks for the help though! ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! LP, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:30, archived)
# Have you tried
Virtual Dub? Google search on it - it's free
(F1Monkey, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:33, archived)
# I really wanted
to become a travelling hero, much like the Littlest Hobo but in human form.
I would walk the earth befriending the lonely, protecting the weak, helping the helpless, asking nothing from them except a little food and shoes when I needed new ones or a bed for the night.
As it turned out I work on a switchboard, lifes a right fucker sometimes.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:03, archived)
# but
can't you do all those things from the switchboard and save having to walk everywhere?
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:07, archived)
# No I can't,
smug business people can fuck off and save themselves.
I want to help innocent blonde mothers in gingham dresses, lonely old men who everyone hates and hispanic shop keepers.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:08, archived)
# I only want to help
the innocent blonde mothers out of their gingham dresses.

Do I sound desperate? Hum.
(I helped save b3ta! Fronds are waving gently on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:15, archived)
# I don't see
why you need to wear gingham dresses...
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:15, archived)
# It adds
colour.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:20, archived)
# How about
I shove a large seasoned onion between the lips you never kiss with?
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:04, archived)
[challenge entry] Im sorry....

Click 4 Website
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 13:59, archived)
# I like the look of the major new BBC drama


BTW: oak.cats.ohiou.edu/~jm703496/spork/
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 13:55, archived)
# they've got a huge poster of that
on the way to work, and whoever pasted it up cocked up aligning the sections and the woman has a huge gurning look. I'll take a photo if i remember, as it's damn funny.,
(I helped save b3ta! djdirect, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 13:57, archived)
# Sorry, it meant to be here
Repost from the night
The new season of ER...

Click for biggy

Ah! Look at the pretty parrots!
(ElectricDucky, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:00, archived)
# i like this one too :-)


/apologies
(I helped save b3ta! chilledunit, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 14:05, archived)

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