Needed a fluffer out there...
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 13:38,
Reply)
Good price on frozen penis here:
www.alibaba.com/product-detail/BQF-Wholesale-Frozen-Beef-Pizzle-Frozen_1600289387802.html
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 14:38,
Reply)
The annual exports of Starco Foodstuff shows an unmistakable trend towards growth.
Unfortunate turn of phrase
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 14:56,
Reply)
If that doesn't turn one vegan, nothing will.
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 15:33,
Reply)
peppa pig world is very popular with recent uk prime ministers of late it seems
(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 21:54,
Reply)
so he had a stiffy?
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 21:48,
Reply)
great googely moogely
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 12:24,
Reply)
The new simulation sounds more plausible
soundcloud.com/user-683108040/one-note-mummy
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 12:49,
Reply)
That was fucking weird
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 13:00,
Reply)
Nice
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 13:09,
Reply)
Valuable research, hearing what it sounded like to stub your toe thousands of years ago
I’m sure with a bit more effort, we’ll be able to hear what a tricky shit sounded like too!
(, Thu 24 Feb 2022, 2:33, Reply)
This mate keeps sending me these vids of the australian anti-vax movement, which I find pretty funny, especially this one
NSFW
A bit like shooting fish in barrel, but entertaining analysis nevertheless. stick with it as he hits his stride and focus after some jokey intro. A bit of australian slang in there for the uninitiated:
Cooker: someone who is cooked in the head. a mentalist
Servo: A petrol station
Digger: Australian army veteran from the war, mainly ww1, often mythologised in australian culture
(NSFW) because of swears
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 2:12,
Reply)
I witnessed two muzzled covtards yapping at each other like dogs in the Asda garage the other day because one of them didn't follow the arrows on the floor... if it wasn't so entertaining i'd feel a sad.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 10:20, Reply)
I love the name calling the best... it's bringing out the branston in everyone, cunts.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 11:44, Reply)
Hang on, are you suggesting that me saying "alright Laurence Fox" amounts to name-calling?
You racist.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 13:18, Reply)
I had to look up Laurence Fox on the internet... I must say he does not look much like a fox... more like a horny peacock with a human style face, like all politicians.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 13:49, Reply)
THEY'RE ALL JUST EXACTLY AS BAD AS EACH OTHER
Vladimir Putin, Abraham Lincoln, Tony Benn, Helmut Cole, Winston Churchill, Rudy Giuliani, Nelson Mandela, Simón José Antonio de la Santísima Trinidad Bolívar y Ponte Palacios y Blanco, Nadine Dories, THEY ARE ALL 100% EQUIVALENT IN EVERY NEGATIVE RESPECT.
I BLAME LABOUR.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 15:32,
Reply)
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 15:34, Reply)
you saw two people in masks having an argument about something unrelated to masks?
how fascinating, do keep us informed of your further adventures in ASDA
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 12:58,
Reply)
the 'you must walk this way' arrows are very much related to masks... if you walk the wrong way while wearing a mask then everyone gets aids and dies... hence the yapping argument in the Asda garage, fun.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 13:36, Reply)
I'm sure /talk misses you, perhaps you should fuck off back there?
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 15:38,
Reply)
We've never heard of this cunt, but he's got /links stamped all over him.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 15:39, Reply)
golf
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 23:40,
Reply)
covid policy/public trust/abuse of power/social control measures have been a farce globally. The anti-vax crusaders may be misinformed or misguided or ignorant or idiots but I'd rather hang out on a fun day out with the quackery than sit with that little sanctimonious pub bore any day of the week.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 13:18, Reply)
See, I'm very much of the opinion that we've long since fucked the dog in relation to the fight against Covid.
We didn't stand much of a chance, anyway. Unless you're on a remote island in the southern hemisphere, it's going to be (and was) nigh-on impossible to prevent Coronavirus from spreading within the borders. Even if 90% of the population did everything by the book, that 10% would still be (and was) more than enough to fuck it up for everybody making the effort. Never mind the fact that these viruses entire mission statement is evolving to become as successfully transmissible as possible. Anybody who thinks we're going to 'beat Covid' is having a fucking laugh. It's here to stay, although I don't expect it's going to be much more of a concern than seasonal Influenza will be within a year or two's time.
Now, that being said, I'm still more than happy to continue wearing a mask when I go to work/pop out to the shops/get on a train, because let's be honest, it's not a fucking hardship, is it?
Do I enjoy wearing a mask? Not particularly. But while there is guidance that recommends the wearing of masks in certain scenarios (even if not mandated by law), then I'll keep on wearing one.
As long as there is potentially one other person in the vicinity who feels slightly more at ease by the fact people are still choosing to wear masks, then what's the big problem?
Frankly, anybody who feels that putting a mask over their face for 20 minutes while they do their weekly shop is some kind of massive hardship, or some kind of infringement of their human rights needs to get some fucking perspective.
You might feel like a cunt for wearing a mask in public, but not half the cunt you'll look like if you don't.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 14:03, Reply)
I'll keep wearing a mask as long as it annoys rebellious kids.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 14:32,
Reply)
Some of the characters are already pretty limited.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 15:50,
Reply)
sanctimonious? I thought it was fairly light hearted
no I reckon it's that you've drunk the Kool-aid too to a certain extent, BPB, and you're miffed about any attack. just be wary, i've seen a few people who you could broadly call 'contrarians' think, "great I'm going to align with these contrarian anti-vaxxers and fight the power". but it's moronic bullshit, and if you look at what these leading lights of the antivax movement are actually giving speeches about, it's coupled with a whole lot of other even stupider and often nasty conspiracy theories. it doesn't strike me as a fun day out
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 21:38,
Reply)
Have you watched any of your own videos?
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 23 Feb 2022, 14:00,
Reply)
Wish You Were Here
Sparklehorse and Radiohead
(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 19:51,
Reply)
I'm not going to like this am I?
Edit: No.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 20:49,
Reply)
Thom Yorke - living proof that we do indeed become whinier with age.
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 7:23, Reply)
have just listened to this sober and humbly apologise to the b3tan community for any distress this posting may have caused
but just for the record: i dislike the original too
(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 20:44,
Reply)
No. Not having any of that.
I'd rather go hear my electric toothbrush live at Wembley than listen to that again
(
Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 21:29,
Reply)
will this do as recompense?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1Ki0DkKCDQ
or maybe this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnAUs-ms3-Y
(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 22:00,
Reply)
it's not so surprising.
molesters are drawn to be photographers like paedos to the priesthood
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 21:28,
Reply)
Liked his women, uncomfortable.
Oddly transgressive somehow.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 21:53,
Reply)
What those Big Jet TV landings looked like from INSIDE the cockpit.
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 18:03,
Reply)
always wandered what those ex-gladiators were up to
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 4:08,
Reply)
Slightly worrying how much struggle is involved
(
fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Tue 22 Feb 2022, 9:56,
Reply)
Heard a pilot trainer on the radio this morning
she explained this is kind of the first thing they start to learn when they enrol and every pilot just practises and practises for their entire career. They are very, very good at it!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 11:46,
Reply)
That's one of the first things I've ever seen
that's made me feel uneasy about flying, even though it's given me a new respect for the pilots!
I reckon you can see the Big Jet guy's van in the field out of the cockpit window at 26s.
(
tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 18:28,
Reply)
Star Turns GIF Compilation Part 2
I made this!
More careers in animation
(
dunk3d, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 16:42,
Reply)
This kiss
It’s been over 10 years and I still think about this kiss
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 14:57, Reply)
Well, that entire series is getting downloaded.
Will fill the gaping hole that My 600lb Life has left in my weekend. Fab.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 15:32, Reply)
Well, what they lack in technique, they make up for in enthusiasm
I imagine the first BJ is also gonna be fun
(
ProjectWeasel The Bird is the Word, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 17:05,
Reply)
If they wait a bit longer they can pop out their false teeth
Every cloud, and all that.
(
jonbob loves you, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 20:51,
Reply)
The Winter Olympics may be over, but fear not, bobsleigh is a year round sport.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 13:46,
Reply)
I dread to think what the unstabilised footage looked like.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 14:54,
Reply)
Call me a pussy
but a thin lycra suit doesn't really seem adequate protection for that activity
(
FridgeBadger, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 15:19,
Reply)
Yeah, but at least it wasn’t icy. That stuff can be treacherous.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 19:41,
Reply)
not sure if the elaborate comedy premise was necessary, but it's a nice version of 'staying alive' nevertheless
you can stop watching around 3:30, just him shilling for some fucking app
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 13:32,
Reply)
Charles Berthoud bores me rigid.
He's an astoundingly talented Bassist, but once you've seen a handful of his videos, you've seen them all. Just about every one of his videos are now 'If ____ was the hardest song ever.' or a variation on that theme.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 14:50, Reply)
Who watches more than a handful of videos of any prolific YouTube channel
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 15:11,
Reply)
Bad Obsession Motorsport? Techmoan? Technology Connections? Digital Foundry? AvE?
Surely it isn't just me?
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 16:54, Reply)
Bad Obsession Motorsport are many things, but I don't think they could be accused of being prolific
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 17:31,
Reply)
Fair point with BoM
But it's fair to say that there are plenty of bigger channels capable of keeping things fresh. Charles just isn't one of them, in my opinion.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 17:48, Reply)
I guess my point applies more to short form which tends to become formulaic
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 17:34,
Reply)
I'm unlikely to get jaded given that this is likely the only one of this chap's videos I'll watch
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 21:21,
Reply)
Bad news for south Derbyshire pervs.
"One of the memorable features of the club is its realistic dogging area"
(
notoolsovernight you're all luvvly an' 'orrible, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 9:49,
Reply)
Came here to post this
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 10:47,
Reply)
Now clean it up
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 11:22,
Reply)
Why bother?
the place is shutting down soon anyway.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 9:26,
Reply)
That's fucking disgusting
65 tracking scripts!
Going to have words with the editor next time I see them down The Attic.
(
monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 11:53,
Reply)
I love how he thinks the council should step In to help him just because his lease isn’t being renewed.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 12:54,
Reply)
Sounds like a fun place to hang out.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 12:57,
Reply)
now where am I going to find some buxton wenches to empty my bolsover?
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 13:46,
Reply)
No point polishing my brassingtons anymore if these clownes get their way
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 14:08, Reply)
Aztec zone haha
Sounds ace
Fucking hell, the pictures
"The hot tub is drained out and cleaned every week"
I'm out
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 15:28, Reply)
'the hot tub'
and there's just a photo of one person standing there
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 16:48, Reply)
It's cleaned every week!
More photos worth checking for the dogging area details
www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/derby-news/gallery/inside-43-room-attic-swinging-2904617
(, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 0:09, Reply)
Could one possibly furnish the location of
this particular activity (asking for a friend)
(
TBL I posted this on, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 14:08,
Reply)
Hot tub
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Feb 2022, 9:21,
Reply)
Triple pulse jet powered go kart
Seems like fun.
(
Tusk knows where you live, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 22:16,
Reply)
Looks great, but I wanted him to open the throttle and give it a proper run...
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 23:02,
Reply)
A bit of airflow would have helped.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 23:26,
Reply)
Sounds like a perpetual fart.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 23:33,
Reply)
that is the bollocks
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 5:59,
Reply)
Excellent!
I love the double-take he does when he sees how hot the pipes are!
(
tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 7:24,
Reply)
I love the idea that a helmet might stop him from turning into a tomato should the worst happen
(
Octo I ruin everything., Mon 21 Feb 2022, 10:39,
Reply)
Tickle-me Atredies
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 21:30,
Reply)
Hot Wheel's sleeper PC
(
buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 20:56,
Reply)
You know those books that they sell in craft stores that are hollow?
I built a media centre into three of them (stacked vertically) about 12 years ago. TV, internet, DVDs (that was funny, I put it in the top where the book opened) Later I had to change the analogue TV card out to a digital one, you know they did that to fuck with me. It is currently languishing in an old house, sad about that.
(
An Egg ,D, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 23:22,
Reply)
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 13:31,
Reply)
Up theme
Played in a delightfully complicated way
(
Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 20:18,
Reply)
I find it perplexing that the most artificial elements of that video appear to be the pictures on the wall
Despite probably being the easiest to render.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 7:31, Reply)
Yes Chris/Jeremy I'd like to use one of my lifelines in the knowing-if-it's-cgi-or-not round
Could i..... see a human face in it?
(and not just a 15 second loop of fornite characters having sex, I've fallen for that one before)
(, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 7:54, Reply)
The thing that makes me suspicious is that some of the individual glockenspiel bars/bells/keys/whatever seem to produce polyphony.
I don't mean when the run splits into two, either.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 13:42,
Reply)
Z-Triton
It is a boat? Is it a tricycle? Is it insane?
It's yours for just £12k
(, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 18:49, Reply)
This is the least convincing Adult Swim infomercial yet.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 19:05,
Reply)
Cycling is shit enough without having to drag around a fucking terrible boat.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 21:48,
Reply)
Ideal for causing road rage incidents, on looks alone.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 22:32,
Reply)
That abomination is the answer to a question that no-one had asked
(
Varmint, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 22:59,
Reply)
Made in?
The same place as most of our, bought and paid for, politicians.
(
An Egg ,D, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 23:03,
Reply)
Oh look its those things again
Musically this is actually all right (ish)
(
TBL I posted this on, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 18:40,
Reply)
Talk about bad luck
"Lindholm spent just under an hour and 16 minutes traversing the course in howling, freezing winds, leading to his penis becoming frozen for the second time in a cross-country skiing race, following a similar incident in Ruka, Finland last year."
(
An Egg ,D, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 19:35,
Reply)
Yes dear, I won the race
Yeah sorry, bit dickless now. IT WAS WORTH IT!
(
simbosan nuck nuck nuck, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 19:42,
Reply)
Poor guy
didn't even get a medal
(
buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 22:15,
Reply)
"Quick, Camilla, have Ponsonby warm the Aston up and put your paste on. Something queenly, not your damn jodphurs. I think this is finally going to be it"
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 12:03,
Reply)
She snuffed it in October - it's all been deepfake ever since.
Dodgy christmas message, lots of sorting house across the firm over last few months. Transition of power in action. This is just her going into defrost.
(
CockGripShaftingSleeve, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 12:38,
Reply)
Does that mean I don't get my four day bank holiday after all?
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 12:41,
Reply)
Not sure Charles giving her the deadly virus is the stunning PR victory they think it is
(, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 12:58, Reply)
In comparison to Andrew going on Newsnight it’s a pretty gentle coup de grâce.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 17:49,
Reply)
"expects to continue carrying out light duties"
I guess these include a WWIII outbreak speech
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 14:19,
Reply)
Queen catches Boris virus.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 22:19,
Reply)
Timing is everything
Coz Russia innit (or andy gate or whatever) Boris is probably loving all this as it takes the heat of him.
(
TBL I posted this on, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 18:41,
Reply)
That photo of her looks like the ventriloquist who attaches the remote controlled plastic mouth to audience members
(
RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 19:14,
Reply)
you know, now you mention it..aye, for real
Ventriloquist Half-Face Comedy Mask
can't find the one we both remember though
(
unclepills, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 20:20,
Reply)
Are we seriously going to joke
about a frail elderly lady catching a potentially very dangerous disease?
(
Tusk knows where you live, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 20:10,
Reply)
In the article
It says that she has mild symptoms and will be carrying out light duties, you know, dusting the crown jewels, vacuuming the royal corgis, the same day to day light duties that frail elderly ladies with mild cold symptoms do all the time.
(
An Egg ,D, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 20:31,
Reply)
"no jokes about the queen..no jokes about covid..."
sorry, I'm writing this down to update the FAQ for b3ta. do go on, tusk
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 21:17,
Reply)
Well, you don’t understand at least 52% of them.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 1:09,
Reply)
Oh Benny! You’re quite the little totalitarian, just like your namesake.
Hopefully one day you’ll swing, just like he did.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 14:04,
Reply)
The frail elderly darling who just bailed out her favourite son, the famous paedophile's friend,
for having sex with a trafficked child, then lying about it in front of everyone?
The same delicate flower who gets to amend whatever laws she doesn't feel like following?
I see no justification in joking about her at all. God I hope she pulls through.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 22:19,
Reply)
Your
candles are burning rather bright today. Well done, sir (or madam or whatever)
(
An Egg ,D, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 22:50,
Reply)
She seems to be smiling a lot
since her son was outed as a nonce
(
johnselekta last posted something equally unfunny on or before, Mon 21 Feb 2022, 22:36,
Reply)
That's really cool with the aluminium foil
But fuck me YouTube Shorts is shit.
(
simbosan nuck nuck nuck, Sun 20 Feb 2022, 5:38,
Reply)
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