The Crisps Solution
I made this!
Afternoon B3TA. My challenge to do one pull up continues...Trying to get my weight down (so I have less of a lump to lift up) by conquering my addiction to crisps.
(, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 13:31, Reply)
Excellent.
Although I am afraid your toes gave me The Fear, Sir.
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 14:16,
Reply)
Me too. They're actually quite clean but look dirty as they've been trodden on so much.
(, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 15:17, Reply)
Don't think we didn't see the stray pack of crisps outside of the box, on the next shelf up, btw.
WE SAW IT.
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 15:29,
Reply)
Wondered if i was going to get away with that one...I did resist eating them though and they were quickly put behind plastic doors.
(, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 15:40, Reply)
Okay, I am a lot less impressed with how far you are stretching this out now.
In this video about crisps you are seen weight training. Only a dribbling simpleton would assume you're still unable to lift yourself for 1 pull up.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 15:37,
Reply)
Been weight training and doing static holds on the bar for nearly 6 weeks now, with another 6 to go. My ex-pro gymnast coach reckons 12 weeks is the shortest realistic time for me to get over the bar. Tried yesterday — still nowhere near. Guess 1 pull up looks easy if you can already do them…
(, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 16:05, Reply)
Here's my reasonable expectation of your progress:
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 19:12,
Reply)
Good move
Keep clear of the crisps.
I don't really eat them but i do like pickled onion monster munch.
(, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 17:28, Reply)
I miss the old pickled onion Space Invaders.
Or were they called Space Raiders?
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jonbob loves you, Sat 16 Aug 2025, 21:26,
Reply)
Space Raiders. From memory they were 10p for around 10 years. Not sure if they’re still available. Guess they might be at least 15p now…
(, Sat 16 Aug 2025, 22:25, Reply)
I think that there was a later version of the cheaper ones called transformer snacks.
Blimey..do you remember scampi nik naks? Very smelly.
(, Sat 16 Aug 2025, 23:00, Reply)
That does ring bells. Or I might be mixing them up with the equally smelly Scampi Fries. Guess the idea there was if you sank 10 pints down the pub but finished with some scampi fries, the Mrs would think you’d been out eating crisps/ scampi instead.
(, Sun 17 Aug 2025, 8:23, Reply)
Maybe the wife wouldn't want to get intimate with scampi and booze breath.
When i was a kid, i wouldn't want anyone using my joystick or touching my keyboard if they had been eating crisps. I would ask them to wash their hands.
(, Sun 17 Aug 2025, 11:29, Reply)
They are still available but they're nothing like the old ones.
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jonbob loves you, Mon 18 Aug 2025, 1:25,
Reply)
Or is it?
It's very good, but I struggle to believe it would be possible to reverse direction without an audible momentary change in pitch, which is what the guy nearest the camera appears to be doing at the start.
Also, the guy in the middle gets a wide range of pitches, but his "bow' seems to move at pretty much the same speed for each note.
I'd love to be proved wrong as it would be that much more impressive!
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tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 22:07,
Reply)
I think the tape provides pulses for the synths to make noise from.
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Cock, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 22:52,
Reply)
They’re not tape loops
The keyboard is being fed to the record head, but the sound you hear is coming from the playback head. The tape is being constantly erased/recorded/played at the same time
Move the tape and you hear the sound, stop the tape and the sound stops. Move the tape backwards and the last note is played reversed.
So the tape functions a bit like an expression pedal for the keyboard, you can hear pitch shifts when changing from forwards to backwards movement (when they reverse the note that’s just been played), but not when going from backwards to forwards movement (because you’re going from a recorded note to a live note)
You can get a wide range of notes for a constant bow speed simply by playing other notes on the keyboard as you play.
Its a neat idea, I like it a lot, and I love how far they push it in some of their other videos!
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LP, Sun 17 Aug 2025, 12:47,
Reply)
That's certainly a lot more complicated than I thought.
I just assumed they had tapes with pure tones on them like that barcode scanner video.
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jonbob loves you, Mon 18 Aug 2025, 1:27,
Reply)
Now we know what fucked the reel to reel that Mend it Mark is halfway through repairing.
(, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 17:07, Reply)
They are crafty workers aren't they?
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Aug 2025, 7:51,
Reply)
The Streets Are Yours! Mexico City Highway Bomb
I love riding bikes. I've raced, I've done some daft and dangerous things in my time on a bike. But this is just idiocy at it's finest. I really hope those guys stay lucky.
(, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 20:59, Reply)
Didn’t seem that dangerous
Though I didn’t see why they had to take up two lanes instead of one for sections.
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 22:01,
Reply)
it's not quite as dangerous as you think, riding between cars
In traffic choked cities like sao paulo or mexico, motorists deliberately leave a channel for motorbikes. It's not just a courtesy, motorbikes are the main form of delivery in places where its not uncommon to get stuck in a jam for 2 or 3 hours, and they agressively enforce it. If you fail to leave an appropriate gap, they will kick your side mirror off or your panel in. If you try and retaliate, soon you'll find youre fighting 3 or 4 of them as others arrive, as they stick together.
These bikes are just doing what motoboys do all day every day, taking advantage of that channel. Of course, it's not without risk. saw my share of fatal accidents. But it'd be more dangerous in place like london where cars don't give a fuck about leaving space for motorbikes to pass
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 14 Aug 2025, 14:53,
Reply)
Ex Melbourne Bike Courier here
Seemed like a standard day. I used to zip inbetween trams, cross traffic red light split (hard to explain, but no slowing down for a red). Have a look at the New York guys/girls - they thread the needle a lot more than these guys.
(, Sun 17 Aug 2025, 22:53, Reply)
you'd be a better judge, though melbourne trams are something to avoid
had a boyhood mate of my brother's, a triathlete, who was hit by a tram cycling. got brain damage, semi-paralysis, had to learn to speak again. Died recently, but in those extra 30 years got married and had a kid. Told me it felt like two separate lives. Shit, sorry for the depressing anecdote.
That channel thing is real. When you're in traffic in those cities you're checking to see if you left a big enough gap between you and the car beside you, as the motoboys fucking fly through it. It's part of the culture/etiquette in those cities, that doesn't exist in London, New York and Melbourne, though it should
.
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 17 Aug 2025, 23:56,
Reply)
In Sao Paulo at the weekend the authorities close off a lane of the roads
for cycling. It's such a congested and poorly planned city that there are hardly any safe places for riding a bike so the best they can do is organise a leisure bike lane, though I did just read that Avenue Paulista has just got a 1.7m cycle lane which is incredible for a Brazilian city
www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g303631-d2519082-Reviews-Leisure_Bike_Lane_of_the_city_of_Sao_Paulo-Sao_Paulo_State_of_Sao_Paulo.html
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 14 Aug 2025, 8:14,
Reply)
i rode my bike everyday in sampa, and was living there when they brought in the ciclovias for the weekend punters to use
bloody good idea.
The main worry I had was buses. They do not give a fuck and don't slow down. If you get in their way they will run you over. But most of the time I was going faster than the traffic on a bike.
One incident I remember:
"A road collision in Brazil has caused outrage after police said a motorist drove off with a cyclist's severed arm attached to his vehicle. The driver, who later turned himself in, told Sao Paulo police that he had dumped the limb in a stream"
www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-21736724
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 14 Aug 2025, 15:00,
Reply)
It's even more "fun" when some fat cunt in a car brake checks and tries to run you into the kerb. True story.
(, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 17:09, Reply)
I was a bike courier for ten years and never rode like that
You always treat traffic like it's going to instantly fuck you up. Good luck riding like that
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 14 Aug 2025, 20:19,
Reply)
Steamed Hams
..but it was banned in the USSR
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theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 18:05,
Reply)
Rang a bell, clicked through, already liked.
Please enjoy the rest of my liked videos in your feed. I hope you like combat sports, real science, and left wing news commentary.
For assumedly the same reason YT recently tries to show me American trials, American cops arresting mostly black people, compilations of American and British uniformed thugs assaulting or being rude to the public, and a lot of similar right wing social justice crap. If I ever get caught in the Shorts trap, they try to show me loads of American violent revenge fantasy film clips.
It's almost as if the algorithm is trying to turn me into an angry and afraid Brexity /links weirdo.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 22:12,
Reply)
The first one might be my fault.
I've had a soft spot for Judge Judy since I used to watch it with my nan.
Those auditor types can fuck right off though.
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jonbob loves you, Thu 14 Aug 2025, 2:35,
Reply)
Was there ever a time when steamed hams was funny?
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 22:16,
Reply)
I think it was a fine piece of comedy writing
though probably has suffered from overexposure/fanboy like the dead parrot sketch
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 22:46,
Reply)
I don't think I've ever laughed at that bit from Only Fools and Horses.
Perhaps once.
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jonbob loves you, Mon 18 Aug 2025, 1:29,
Reply)
Bollocks.
I had knife pulled on me in migrant camp, says Conservative shadow minister
(, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 14:53, Reply)
What a cnut.
I wonder what he put on his visa application under “purpose of visit”.
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jonbob loves you, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 15:33,
Reply)
He looks like someone photocopied Jeremy Hunt
but turned down the niceness a bit. Urgh.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 14 Aug 2025, 8:16,
Reply)
I Don't Think Twice About My Kinky Mail - Profile of female wrestler Mitzi Mueller (1978)
25:23
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 12 Aug 2025, 16:16,
Reply)
The Admiral-Lord Mountevans rules are quite strict on fisting in the ring.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 15:41,
Reply)
Presumably remarkably specific too.
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FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 14 Aug 2025, 0:21,
Reply)
The front fell off
Shenanigans in the South China Sea
Chinese warship crashes into own coastguard vessel while chasing Philippine boat in South China Sea
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wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 12 Aug 2025, 13:33,
Reply)
Thank god for the Royal Navy.
That sort of thing would never happen to us.
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jonbob loves you, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 17:25,
Reply)
You have to be especially useless to crash into your own ship
If you only have one present.
(, Fri 15 Aug 2025, 17:53, Reply)
Attenborough Oil Painting
I made this!
I made an oil painting to raise some money for the WWF
Quentin Devine on Instagram: "The Painting is complete and thank you to everyone who contributed to my just giving for the WWF. It's still open on the link below if anyone would still like to give anything.😃 https://www.justgiving.com/page/attenborough-painting #wwf_uk #davidattenborough @wwf_uk @wwf @davidattenborough"
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Q4nobody, Tue 12 Aug 2025, 12:17,
Reply)
theyll need it with hulk hogan gone
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 12 Aug 2025, 12:30,
Reply)
Lovely
Meanwhile, most normal people just have face mites
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Wed 13 Aug 2025, 4:26,
Reply)
FTW!
bloke breaks collarbone
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 12 Aug 2025, 0:59,
Reply)
Red bull doesn't give you wings
Who'd have thought it.
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Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Tue 12 Aug 2025, 13:18,
Reply)
A place to get in touch with old acquaintances.
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Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 11 Aug 2025, 20:36,
Reply)
This was before people realised they prefer the uniform white boxes of Facebook over the freedom to create glittery chaos with code
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Tue 12 Aug 2025, 6:25,
Reply)
Tequila!
Pee-wee’s Bike Debuts at the Alamo on 40th Anniversary of ‘Big Adventure’
(, Mon 11 Aug 2025, 12:13, Reply)
If only he was still with us, he could offer to perform a children's benefit for the sheriff's office to make it go away
(, Mon 11 Aug 2025, 12:37, Reply)
He didn’t need to steal
He just liked the thrill of the chaise
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 11 Aug 2025, 8:49,
Reply)
Sending ICBMs, please stay still.
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 11 Aug 2025, 9:04,
Reply)
Owner of Trump Burger restaurant facing deportation.
Trump burgers now come with delicious schadenfreude
(, Sun 10 Aug 2025, 22:37, Reply)
He's rocking the worn out paintbrush look.
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FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Mon 11 Aug 2025, 17:21,
Reply)
Japanese block printing from the British Museum
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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 10 Aug 2025, 12:39,
Reply)
Why would they stop the Brit Muz from printing stuff?
How dare they, TRADE WAR!!!!
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simbosan is too tired, Mon 11 Aug 2025, 3:50,
Reply)
There's only so many requests to LOAD LETTER that one country can take
(, Mon 11 Aug 2025, 10:02, Reply)
Arf!
www.amazon.com/Star-Trek-Jean-Picard-Make/dp/B00DWGVI0A?ref_=ast_sto_dp
(, Sat 9 Aug 2025, 10:45, Reply)
Sold on Amazon, so it's probably a fake or lethally dangerous product.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 10 Aug 2025, 14:50,
Reply)
20 years ago, we'd have posted something like this on /board for giggles.
Now it's a money-making scam. Fucking hell, did we all miss the boat.
(, Sun 10 Aug 2025, 18:42, Reply)
^^^this
Maybe the world wasn't ready for b3ta back then.
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FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sun 10 Aug 2025, 23:38,
Reply)
New Gaff...
...pop in if you're passing.
Detached House for sale with 4 bedrooms, The Tower, Hadlow Castle
(, Fri 8 Aug 2025, 14:34, Reply)
On the market for only £2,780,000 now,
but 12 years ago had £4.2 million spent on it.
Long-term maintenance liability nightmare.
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Varmint, Fri 8 Aug 2025, 16:12,
Reply)
It means the work has been done.
It'll be good for at least 10 years, then you can flog it again for even more.
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 8 Aug 2025, 16:15,
Reply)
Hey. At least it has a lift.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 8 Aug 2025, 22:15,
Reply)
Let's put a wood-burning stove in this fuck-off Citizen Kane fireplace, it'll be great.
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After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Sat 9 Aug 2025, 2:08,
Reply)
Here's a better investment if you're chucking about 3 million
www.struttandparker.com/properties/angle
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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 9 Aug 2025, 8:06,
Reply)
It's a fantastic place to take pot shots at the oil tankers passing.
(, Sat 9 Aug 2025, 17:01, Reply)
I thought I recognised that table in pic 9.
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tinglto 3 sheets to the wind, Sat 9 Aug 2025, 21:18,
Reply)
Fucking wood-burning stoves turning every room into an unbearable furnace. You're not going to get prosecuted for burning coal, you live on a fucking island fortress.
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After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Sun 10 Aug 2025, 16:56,
Reply)
Shame it's in Wales.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sun 10 Aug 2025, 19:39,
Reply)
Stick your arse out of any window,
and let gravity do the rest, like in olden times...
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Sun 10 Aug 2025, 22:45,
Reply)
Your grinder profile needs finessing
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 11 Aug 2025, 9:13,
Reply)
AI generated, but proper LOL
1,3 Mio. Aufrufe · 9.779 Reaktionen | British Holidays - Centre Parks Part 3 😅 #comedy #summer #uk #holiday #british #summerholidays #humour #humor | Yorkshire Humour
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sinisterduck, Fri 8 Aug 2025, 13:39,
Reply)
Nah
Facebook, Reel, AI.
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 8 Aug 2025, 16:14,
Reply)
Curiosity watch
Shite
Please don't AI
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Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 8 Aug 2025, 22:17,
Reply)
funny the first few you watch
then they just fade into Bernard Manning one liners
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TBL I posted this on, Sat 9 Aug 2025, 14:33,
Reply)
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