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"The most horrible day of my life"
Le plus horrible jour de ma vie - Vidéo insolite

i guess american idol means a hell of a lot when you are 12 years old..
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Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 2:03, Reply)

Quality.
:-D
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Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 2:08, Reply)

Hahaha!
That's hilarious! :D
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Monty Propps, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 2:08, Reply)

clickety click
awesome
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Kingtoke was shit at life on, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 2:58, Reply)

I beleive a great big
WTF is in order
(The Ear-Trumpet Addicting is NOT a word., Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:34, Reply)

indeed
weird and creepy much?
(JonothanCainer, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 10:24, Reply)

Possibly not as creepy as me.
Am I the only one who wants to lick the tears from their faces just to really rub in their lack of perspective on life?
(UltimateMonkey Ban this sick filth!, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 14:05, Reply)

I did some stand-up again! NSFW I made this!
Probably not to everyone's taste, but I tried out some new material for the first time in a while. Thought I'd post it here for something a bit different.

Anyway, here goes!

(Language is a bit sweary)

(Slurpy J, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:55, Reply)

a member for 3 years, 9 months and 19 days
has posted 10 messages on the main board
has posted 0 messages on the talk board
has posted 19 messages on the links board
(including 15 links which were all his own)
They liked 0 pictures, 13 links, 0 talk posts, and 0 qotw answers.
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Monty Propps, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 2:02, Reply)

idiot

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executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 3:57, Reply)

Aint nothing wrong with a bit of lurking old bean

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acab, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 10:11, Reply)

*ahem* I'd like to point out the following;
"This is not the place to slag off other members' work. If you don't like it, don't say anything, and don't click "I like this". (Links board rules)"

Chris, I loved the bit about the announcers - superb.
(Pesky Young Scamp, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 10:52, Reply)

I would click this but
the audio is so bad I can't understand anything you're saying.
I disagree with MP, I prefer to see a "I made this" link from a lurker than youtube links to something made by somebody else
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CanonCaliber A big bore, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:15, Reply)

I watched the whole set
and thought it was very funny.

And kudos for having the balls to do stand up.
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somegreybloke, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:26, Reply)

I agree with all of this post
*agrees*
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LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:55, Reply)

haha nice one
some good sketches there, *clicks*
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:53, Reply)

I
Liked it, again more kudos for having the balls!
(Mr Bojangles Of London Town, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 10:18, Reply)

Knew I recognised you
You're the FireBox Gadget reviewing guy... And I remember how you were blasted previously.

B3ta in recent times has become too cliquey, but don't let it get to you. The fact you've been a member for almost 4 years and only posted ~ 30 times does show you read more than you post. This is no bad thing! The fact that you've decided to post things you've been doing on b3ta shows how much you value b3ta, it's audience, how like minded you are to the audience, and how you've taken the time to get a feel for the place before posting like a noobie.
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DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 10:19, Reply)

well done
you've got some cracking material. And I agree with madridiot, it takes a shedload of balls to do stand up. :)
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masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 10:30, Reply)

A neat porta-home for the homeless
Although, I can't imagine many companies will appreciate the new tennants messing up the 15k aircon unit, I am really impressed by these.
(gaijintendo v2.0 compressed, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:18, Reply)

fucking cool idea.
i can't see it messing up the airco too much either as long as there's a suitable outlet on the actual house to allow a decent flowthrough of air.

i think the main problem will come due to the fact that no one will want homeless people sleeping outside their building every night, which is a damn shame.
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Just Flange, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:07, Reply)

This should sort the Wheat from the Chaff...

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Darklord, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:55, Reply)

This was the best time to pull the older laydees on the dance floor
If you got up and grooved with them to that they knew you weren't a small minded insecure shit.

Fun was had.
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Monty Propps, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:09, Reply)

The Great Global Warming Swindle Part 1 of 8

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(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:39, Reply)

*yawn*

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morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:58, Reply)

I seem to remember New Scientist magazine
tore this programme's claims to shreds the week after it aired.
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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 2:09, Reply)

As did Ofcom.
Dekionplexis - do your homework! What good does it do your credibility when you post things that have been publicly shown to be inaccurate and misleading?
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TheAlmightyBeev, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 6:21, Reply)

HAHAHA

funniest comment ever

yeah cos b3ta is a vehicle for truth, balance and credability

nob
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spagaroony, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 8:52, Reply)

correct, b3ta is a vehicle for humour, not for some paranoid twat like Deki to spam with his fucking conspiracy propaganda.
i think this is the point to be made.
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Just Flange, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:02, Reply)

Thank you
I will blog this
(thereisnopoons until, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 0:09, Reply)

Taekwondo knock out

(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:14, Reply)

Good God
I'm guessing that there's no other move more perfect in this sport.
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greedydave cries when he wanks, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:25, Reply)

seriously.
how can you let that happen? tae kwon do is the key.
(JonothanCainer, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:36, Reply)

I wonder which one is Daniel.

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the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 4:23, Reply)

SPINNY FLYING KICK!!!
I bet the blue guy had a headache when he came round. Mind you if you dont want one dont do silly things that hurt.
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lord turkey boy and the cleft of venus, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 5:24, Reply)

Pow!

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LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 8:10, Reply)

Bosh!!!!!
I'm surprised it didn't repeat it 50 times after in varying speeds
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:55, Reply)

This needs a remix.

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barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Ah...
A good reverse back kick!
I prefer seeing someone being KO'ed by a lucky Tornado kick.
Then again the 540 is awesome too.
(Jake-of-all-Trades, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 21:08, Reply)

Reggie Watts - What about BJ's
This man's got some smooth tones :-)

(my track of the week)

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Darklord, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:14, Reply)

That's lovely.

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Monty Propps, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:42, Reply)

Norwegian rap - weirdest football video ever?

(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:12, Reply)

How strange, yet catchy
Have you any idea why he's reeling off UK & Irish footballers' names?
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greedydave cries when he wanks, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:21, Reply)

I Like Trucking
and I like to truck

(Scary, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:00, Reply)

This is my abiding memory of this series :)

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Monty Propps, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:06, Reply)

and Pamela getting her tits out

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TBL I posted this on, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 2:01, Reply)

That's degrading to lorry drivers that is!
Next thing you know they'll be accused of being prostitute murderers or something!
Ban this sick filth! Down with the BBC! Sack them all! etc.etc.etc.
(MattCryFire thatMattbloke, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:44, Reply)

Awwww
The Eastern-European version of Rover goes down the shitter..... Can't help but feel a little sorry.
(Colostomy Bag Explosion Lubing the gears of commercialism, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:48, Reply)

Holy shit!
I honestly didn't realise they were still going. It is quite sad.
I seem to remember Yugos being the butt of a joke in Dragnet. (couldn't find a Youtube link)
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greedydave cries when he wanks, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:59, Reply)

It the uber-patronising nature of the reporter in the second clip
that really makes me laugh
(Colostomy Bag Explosion Lubing the gears of commercialism, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:05, Reply)

Oooh hang on, only read the text...
/Edit: I'm betting that reporter's footprints were all over the windscreen by the end of the day. :D
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greedydave cries when he wanks, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:07, Reply)

Name This Tune. Please?
This isn't the most entertaining clip of Old Man McCain bumbling along, but if you have a bit of time, go about 30 seconds into this video...

...now, what is this song that's in the background? I've heard it so many times but damned if I can work out where, and it's driving me a bit crazy as a result.

(rzeki, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:45, Reply)

heheh
i know that song.
I give you:
Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass
playing
Spanish Flea

it works very well with anything involving people falling over or generally failing.

I have the mp3 around here somewhere, gaz me know and i'll gaz it to you
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KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:54, Reply)

That's why I knew it so well
Because I love watching people fall over and generally fail!

Also: thank you also for the mp3 offer! I already found it, but it's muchly appreciated.
(rzeki, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:04, Reply)

Classic tune - heres my favorite remix
NSFW btw
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiXq4pVV8q0
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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 2:14, Reply)

Some interesting philisophical questions in BBC news article
Interesting if you like that sort of thing but not if you dont.

Good to have a read of if your inclined to smoke funny tobacco as I am sure some of your naughty b3tards out there do.
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lord turkey boy and the cleft of venus, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:11, Reply)

i enjoyed that
the first one is good.
I liked philosophy a lot more when i realized that it's not about having to choose and more about explaining why you can't...
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KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:18, Reply)

Thinking about some of this too much hurts my brain
I am happy to accept that the meaning of life is 42 and just let that be an end to the matter. :)
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lord turkey boy and the cleft of venus, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:20, Reply)

but what if you had
42 people on a seesaw above sharks...
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KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:56, Reply)

That's really not true
In thought experiments like that example the whole point is that you have to choose one of the courses of action presented to you. The fact that neither of them are particularly desirable doesn't have much to do with it.
(moltenretriever, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:44, Reply)

I read an article recently that proposed that
Different parts of your brian simultanously exist in different realities.

But meh, back to captionX.
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Monty Propps, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:26, Reply)

Havnt forgoten about the hairdresser
Just dont get in till late. Need to call her first to warn her someone she doesn't know might be calling for an appointment.

Im sure she will be fine though :)

Did I read that you were up my end last night so to speak? fnarr fnarr?
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lord turkey boy and the cleft of venus, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:46, Reply)

I was on Tuesday, at Sir John Deanes, learning how to use a computer ;)
Cheers on the head chop front, if I can have a quick cut at a scheduled time without having to read a thumbed copy of the Sun for 45 minutes that's a big win :)
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Monty Propps, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:04, Reply)

Hahaha
Welcome to my world. I have been teaching that same thing since I came back to the UK. Still when some 60 something asks you, after 6 months of one on one tuition, how to bring up the start menu it makes you question if your really cut out for teaching :)
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lord turkey boy and the cleft of venus, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:41, Reply)

I think I'm the same age or slighty older than my tutor ;)
At the moment I'm treading water and helping the peeps on either side of me, but when it gets to Excel and Powerpoint... Then I need to sit up and pay attention. ;)

I'm also gearing up for my Flash course... "'Tinernet, it's the future!"
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Monty Propps, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:55, Reply)

and....
how do we know that we experience colour the same as each other...

Is the colour that i recognise as red, the same colour you see... to put it another way, if i could see what your eyes see, and how your brain perceives it - would i describe it as blue?
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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 2:24, Reply)

most studies...
...have shown that when you ask people to create a colour (even in something as simple as adjusting rgb values on an old tv) they will independently choose very similar colours - so it's likely that we all perceive colours in a similar way.
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TheAlmightyBeev, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 6:29, Reply)

But this is based on your individual
perception of the colour. When you grow up you are "taught" the physical colours and the words you associate with them. If my brain perceives the colour red as polker dot blobs of kittens, and the colour blue as cheese dripping pizzas, then if you ask me to create a colour by name, I will create something that ends up looking like polker dot blobs of kittens or cheese dripping pizzas to ME. To you it will look like how you perceive it. To everyone it is just RED...

That's the point of this philosophical question. You cannot simplify this to say that we'd all create the same colour, because we associate words with our perceptions.
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DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Somalia I made this!
Where can you find pirates?
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weebl Mashed farts, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:04, Reply)

hehe, nice
funny and informative
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Azathoth thinks my name isn't so bad..., Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:08, Reply)

hahaha
sounds strangely familiar :)
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the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:10, Reply)

Yo ho ho
And a Rottle of Bum
(Wonchop Where are your goggles, boy?, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:19, Reply)

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
i still have a lion mug.
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KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:21, Reply)

You can also find pirates on the Coast of Yemen
This is plain discrimination

Brill stuff *click*
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The Coast Of Yemen, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:27, Reply)

YAAAAARRR!!!

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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:42, Reply)

Hahahahaha
Giving an old classic another day in the sun.

Woot!
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greedydave cries when he wanks, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:53, Reply)

And just to add
Last six or so newsletters with Joel in them.

And thanks for acknowledging my existence, rob ;D
(Wonchop Where are your goggles, boy?, Sat 22 Nov 2008, 1:30, Reply)

Re: Newsletter - Accomplishments by age
As requested in the newsletter. I didn't make this, but it is just as depressing as the newsletter suggests.
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thiswasmyclone, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:00, Reply)

This is brilliant
yet it also makes me feel totally inadequate.
(DanS like you've never DanSed before!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:11, Reply)

Just a reminder...
New series of IT Crowd starts tomorrow, here's a preview clip. Embedding disabled, so follow the link.

(DanS like you've never DanSed before!, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:39, Reply)

Dem glasses iz shit innit.
Awww!
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Bats, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:59, Reply)

3000 AD - Mechwarrior Flash Game

Command your mech as you destroy enemies and guard bases. Upgrade your mech from cooling to jammer.

Game may not load if you have an ad blocker active.
(Johnny Doomo, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:25, Reply)

the faint whiff of spam about it
2 links submitted both to the same site...oh and we have to remove adblocker..yeah right.

We do like games on here but not spam. ta
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BadBadman saw an incorrect comma placement on, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:39, Reply)

aaah
its that shitty "games for work" site that tries to load up ads half way thru your game

here's a more reliable link for those who still want to give it a go
www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/470036
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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:05, Reply)

And you thought your IT department was bad
Ronseal
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slippery doctore, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:55, Reply)

...Dad?

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Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:27, Reply)

OMG the people 2 doors up are nazis!
It's that list again
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the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:51, Reply)

Yeah, someone on there is just a stone's throw from my house
Hmmm, there's an idea.
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greedydave cries when he wanks, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:55, Reply)

But if someone firebombs them tonight
You're one of the people they'll come looking for, after posting that.
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Monty Propps, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:57, Reply)

I think I'm more likely to tut
under my breath at them in the street and avert my eyes than try to fry them.
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the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 21:59, Reply)

Try and tell Daily Mail reading jurors that.
Innocence is no defence.
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Monty Propps, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:06, Reply)

I'm sure
that their inbreeding will wipe their line off the face of the earth faster than it'll take me to take up arms.
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greedydave cries when he wanks, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:08, Reply)

I find all this extremely distasteful
I don't really see eye to eye with the BNP's mind set, but what next; publish the addresses of all the cunts into extremist versions of Islam who have even more hate in their ideology? Even the addresses of those Muslims who simply think women are inferior is as bad the BNP's view of other people

Or certain other religions for that matter

All this is rapidly getting rather fucking boring; it's not as if the BNP advocate violence, unlike a lot of the extremist Muslims groups calling for our societies' destruction
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:07, Reply)

liberal.
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the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:09, Reply)

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Let's publish all the home addresses of abortion clinic personnel whilst we're at it eh? Let's really push the frontiers of democracy
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:12, Reply)

don't get cross
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the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:14, Reply)

think about what you post then geezer
all of this is is simply wrong, I have to open every letter and package at work with a letter opener because certain animal rights nutters might have kindly enclosed razor blades because they disapprove of my method of wildlife conservation

Publishing my colleague's addresses online is just the same at what has been done with the BNP members

I hate racists personally, but we live in a democracy; they are not advocating extermination camps for christ's sake, just the destruction of our economy, being fuckwits
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:18, Reply)

Try to appreciate the irony
of people who have sought to intimidate and bully minorities in their midst suddenly getting a taste of their own medicine.

A little more concern for the victims of racism and a little less for these raving saddos please...
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the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:24, Reply)

Yes, it's ironic, but still wrong
What aspect of Democracy don't you get; or are you assuming everyone on that list advocates racial violence to ethnic minorities?

That is where a blinkered-liberal view of these people has got lost, and as such is simply wrong

Most of that lot on that list simply feel afraid with their small mindness with what they can't or don't want to understand such as migrantss from Somalia from example, an easier approach might be to point the economic benefits such people working in our economy has had

It certainly did after the Second World war and has benefitted us now; simply labeling them all as cunts and attributing to a large undercurrent of public thinking as mongs and in need of shame will make people more defensive and less open to the economic facts that migration is actually profitable ultimately
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:36, Reply)

i see your point
but what's going on here might ultimately lead to some real change in the way people think about politics. suddenly the people who are trying to get you shipped out of 'their' country are very clearly no longer anonymous. if the internet has done anything, it has given us so much anonymity that our views have been allowed to become more extreme, and cloaked too. democracy requires open and public debate (not secret hatemongering), and this is now encouraged, as all the white-sheet wearing KKK motherfucks are going to have to defend their views properly for once. we'll see how well they stand up to some reasonable opposition, as well as feel the receiving end of some of the hate they so readily, yet anonymously, espouse.
leave it to people who are actually islamic to out their own extremists. as a white man of christian patronage (ie: now apatheitc to all forms of belief), i consider it my duty to make sure that anyone trying to defend 'british' traditions and beliefs is outed for the hateful nonsense they're really preaching.
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the brass moustache putting the ass moust in brache since, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:06, Reply)

'reasonable opposition'
Is what I have major issues with what you just said, it's all open to interpretation as to your political views

If my address home was published online because I happen to think certain religious people are cunts, or certain political people are cunts, or i'm in favor of vivisection, stem cell research, etc

Where the fuck does it end?

Being noble, but ever so slightly self-righteous just because it's about white racists is no excuse; I could apply far more hatred to certain Muslims at large at the moment, or some other religious cunts planing to turn up at Obama's grandmother's funeral and express their hatred

And I am shocked hardcore Islam doesn't receive much more scorn for being the wank machine it is, or is this how wankstained things have become

We use up our energy on wankers into dodgy beliefs with more passion and bravo than cunts who genuinely want to kill us with their suicide bombs, and the promise of child virgins in their fucked up heaven?
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:37, Reply)

i understand your call for more focus on external sources of extremism
but maybe it's better to to keep our own house clean first so we don't look like a bunch of hypocrites. stones and glass houses and all that.
much of the islamic extremism in britain could be almost directly attributed to racists here polarising communities and leaving a disaffected youth, don't you think?
if you had idiot kids of idiot parents calling you sub-human or some such shit everyday, wouldn't you feel like listening to someone who told you that you were actually superior?
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the brass moustache putting the ass moust in brache since, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:49, Reply)

Not got that
I find more racism emerging in religious crap effecting youth to be quite frank

What is your solution to your last line btw?
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Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:11, Reply)

my solution?
prescribe weed. lots of it. to everyone.
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the brass moustache putting the ass moust in brache since, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 1:25, Reply)

no doubt
it will cheer the nazis up no end to know you are their friend.
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the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:51, Reply)

grow up you
That's simply pathetic
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 23:59, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/links/248985
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the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 0:09, Reply)

I'm too tired and drunk to get into the ins and outs of all this
But essentially this^
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Monty Propps, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:24, Reply)

but they are shit.
...
(JonothanCainer, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:16, Reply)

Yes
alot of Muslims are, but i'm not going to waste my energy and time pointing this out politically like the BNP do; because huge sections of our society are equally as fucking pathetic and shite; from Guardian readers to the Daily Mail brigade
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 22:24, Reply)

Just One More Click I made this!
An animation investigating the joys and perils of the internet when you're at work, with a splendid song by Mr Doghorse and an opportunity for some poodle pr0n, a quick LOLcat and a puppy in pants. Made for Worksmart. Bigger with subtitles here.