Takes the bible literally, you say?
โA feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.โ
*Stands with eyes shut, waving palms in the air*
(, Sat 25 May 2019, 13:25, Reply)
Cashing in on the gullible and desperate as usual.
The lengths people will go to, to assuage the fear of death.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sat 25 May 2019, 16:23,
Reply)
Are you talking about Christians or insurance companies?
(
Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Sun 26 May 2019, 11:08,
Reply)
That were bloody mad.
But I like her legs.
(
Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Sat 25 May 2019, 14:55,
Reply)
Don't eat slugs
Fucking failing species
(
TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Fri 24 May 2019, 21:36,
Reply)
The punishment for carelessness or being a dick.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sat 25 May 2019, 2:17,
Reply)
A bit harsh.
The lungworm parasites may be evolving to make their slug intermediate hosts irresistible to hungry humans.
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sat 25 May 2019, 12:19,
Reply)
Most creative use of the word 'irresistible'.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sat 25 May 2019, 16:19,
Reply)
Not the first time it's happened
www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/health-problems/sydney-man-who-contracted-rat-lungworm-after-eating-slug-dies/news-story/08b0e700a8d6d6c6709d2dd92dfeaa8f
(
Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Sat 25 May 2019, 9:11,
Reply)
But why do they make them so tasty???
(
Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Sat 25 May 2019, 15:03,
Reply)
boring bit
the microfilariae are also prevalent in slug trails - so dont lick the grass or anything else they may have trailed over, like balls, for example.
(, Sun 26 May 2019, 11:40, Reply)
Indie Game Review: Dumb Little Creatures
I made this!
Hey! Remember how good Lemmings was? Imagine that in 3D! Imagine!
That would be something, right... right...?
(
dogbomb, Fri 24 May 2019, 19:57,
Reply)
yay
*drinks*
edit: I actually quite like the look of that. Might be better if there was a grid or something with pre-defined places u could click once a purple dude gets to that square
(, Fri 24 May 2019, 21:05, Reply)
Just needs a more appealing character design I reckon. Or some.
(
smaggers Like a gibbon on helium, Sun 26 May 2019, 7:51,
Reply)
The face. The insistence on being in a newspaper. The horror.
This is a local story to me.
(, Fri 24 May 2019, 19:54, Reply)
I've got no real problem with it," chuckled Joe, 44, "we've had a laugh and it's got a bit of a response on social media.
"I knew what I was buying because I've got a bit of an eye for spelling mistakes. It jumped out at me and I thought - well I've got to buy that!"
He should go to China, he'd fucking love it.
(, Sat 25 May 2019, 20:09, Reply)
A little sympathy please!
I made this!
I don't think the cameraman has much sympathy for Theresa.
(, Fri 24 May 2019, 19:45, Reply)
Step up the new Omnishambles
From bean to cup they will fuck up.
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Fri 24 May 2019, 22:10,
Reply)
well she took on an impossible task
and now we're all fucked. thanks racists.
(, Fri 24 May 2019, 23:23, Reply)
I agree.
I have no love for the Conservative party, but I agree. Everyone else chickened out and left her with an impossible task. Kobayashi Maru comes to mind. Where's Capt. Kirk when you need him?
(, Sat 25 May 2019, 7:04, Reply)
I fully blame Cameron.
He made a calculated decision to attempt to defeat the eurosceptics in his own party, knowing that they were what screwed over all his recent predecessors. He miscalculated and he was complacent.
My biggest complaint about the whole thing is that regardless of the original referendum result he sacrificed the UK's greatest trump card with Europe... the ability to threaten to have an article 50 referendum in order to gain leverage. That only ever works if you've never done it before. He basically put himself in a position where either Leave wins and he loses the vote, or Remain wins and he wins presiding over a weaker situation than we were in before. What a fucking idiot.
(, Sun 26 May 2019, 10:56, Reply)
I've made a fake milkshake brand
I made this!
I don't think you should throw milkshakes at people. But you should ridicule fascists in the silliest way possible..
(
Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Fri 24 May 2019, 16:25,
Reply)
Yes, he's not a fascist.
You may come to recognise the difference, if you ever see it.
(
After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Fri 24 May 2019, 21:49,
Reply)
Dirk has recycled a meme.
Fucked if I understand it in this context. Please explain, Dirk.
(
After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Fri 24 May 2019, 22:34,
Reply)
^ found a knife whilst looking for a spork
(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 24 May 2019, 22:38,
Reply)
A vintage non-sequitur.
We must have a chat some time.
About fucking cutlery.
(
After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Fri 24 May 2019, 23:01,
Reply)
It's like ten thousand spoons...
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Fri 24 May 2019, 23:06,
Reply)
That's not XKCD.
Just as shit though.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Sat 25 May 2019, 10:40,
Reply)
Everyone who has a different opinion to me is a fascist
That's the way the rule works.
Or is it Nazis, I can't remember now what they are. Perhaps Nazis are the ones who don't like Magic Grandpa Corbyn.
It's so difficult keeping up with youth trends...
(, Sun 26 May 2019, 14:16, Reply)
I think I'll try the Chilean mine escape room instead.
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sat 25 May 2019, 12:25,
Reply)
Why not
Made me laugh like a loon ages ago and still does.
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 23 May 2019, 23:11,
Reply)
I love France
Nobody burnt my neck or anything ...
(
amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on, Thu 23 May 2019, 20:52,
Reply)
this doesn't answer the question of which continental actress was better, Brigitte Bardot or Claudia Cardinale?
I guess there's only one way of working this out, fiiiight
(, Fri 24 May 2019, 20:11, Reply)
Well, that was excellent!
But where is the compulsory cowboy fight scene water trough?
(
Varmint, Fri 24 May 2019, 21:00,
Reply)
sadly absent
there is a scene where BB enjoys a skinny dip with friends and they splash one another to keep cool
(, Sat 25 May 2019, 0:52, Reply)
Twat's Army
NSFW
I made this!
I made this Dad's Army / Brexit Party mashup last night instead of sleeping, and it needs your love more than I do.
(, Thu 23 May 2019, 17:26, Reply)
I vote for you to be next prime minister.
Or person who goes to the shop to get the pastries.
Either is good.
(
Sn0tters ๐ฏ๐ด๐ง๐ง๐ฎ๐ช, Fri 24 May 2019, 9:09,
Reply)
Star Wars Scented Candles
I made this!
Wobbly Bob is back, in a short video where he bravely goes and reviews Star Wars Scented Candles.
No really, they are a thing.
(
trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Thu 23 May 2019, 16:52,
Reply)
the others sound no better
Inside of a Tauntaun
Sarlacc pit
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Star-Wars-Scented-Candle-Strikes/dp/B07J35G5NC
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Star-Wars-Scented-Candle-Return/dp/B07J33MNTM/
(, Thu 23 May 2019, 17:24, Reply)
Nope
I can only imagine that they are pretty bad
(
trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Sun 26 May 2019, 23:37,
Reply)
We seem to have caused an international political incident
I made this!
Despite nobody having seen the show yet. Welcome to 2019.
(
crab_bloke), Thu 23 May 2019, 16:27,
Reply)
"I made this"? Are you involved in this in some way? If so you'll have to let us all know what novichok tastes like...
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 23 May 2019, 16:44,
Reply)
Tasty tasty novichok...
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Fri 24 May 2019, 10:06,
Reply)
"A spokeswoman for the BBC said on Wednesday that the showโs creators would not be available to comment."
Can we have an exclusive comment for b3ta please?
(
monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 23 May 2019, 18:03,
Reply)
Yes
My comment is that I feel sorry for the writers at RT and Sputnik, told to write an 800 word hit piece about how awful a thing is that neither they nor anyone else has seen. What a shitter of a job. Also I would like to say thank you to RT, Sputnik etc for making our little show international news, so everybody knows about it now, even though it has not even been shown yet. Also I would like to say that I believe completely the statement from the Kremlin that Vladimir himself is not interested. The mobilising of his information warfare apparatus and the statement from his own press secretary about our little pilot that nobody has seen yet really reeks of disinterest.
(
crab_bloke), Thu 23 May 2019, 20:07,
Reply)
I hope rob is prepared for the russian hackers
when they realise this place is somewhat linked to these shady crabby elements that have obviously infiltrated the BBC
(, Fri 24 May 2019, 11:49, Reply)
The Corp will scrub it.
Needling Putin isn't in anyone's interest. Though I'm sure you cast him in an affectionate light.
(
After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Thu 23 May 2019, 20:32,
Reply)
I hope not
It reflects very badly on then if they do. If there was ever a time that we were in need of a return of proper satire of the ruling elites, then it's now.
(
crab_bloke), Thu 23 May 2019, 21:41,
Reply)
A return of proper satire of the ruling elites, as represented here by a cgi caricature, shouting about Terry Wogan and Graham Norton
(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 23 May 2019, 22:30,
Reply)
I'm glad we had this little chat
(
mofaha โ( ห_ห)โ ส
(ฬโกโ)ส, Thu 23 May 2019, 22:58,
Reply)
By which i really mean
Actually watching the show would be appropriate before passing judgement, of course
(
crab_bloke), Thu 23 May 2019, 23:08,
Reply)
We need a proper satire of the b3ta ruling elites,
depicting those who criticise them as bitter malcontents who envy their talent and success.
(, Thu 23 May 2019, 23:29, Reply)
It was astonishment rather than disdain.
There has been no satire of tyrants since North Korea ripped Sony's life apart. Even Borat is unthinkable now, for fear of Kazakhstani cyber attacks... I didn't expect to see anything like this from major broadcasters/studios ever again. It goes without saying that anyone who bucks the trend has my unqualified admiration and respect.
BTW I've been making telly for 15 years. And it's a well known fact that TV producers are never envious of their peers' success, so you must be feeling pretty silly rn.
(
After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Fri 24 May 2019, 6:03,
Reply)
Are you talking to me?
I just made one flippant throwaway comment, so if you are then you've read a hell of a lot into it.
(, Fri 24 May 2019, 6:49, Reply)
And you've read nothing into the reply.
(
After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Fri 24 May 2019, 21:22,
Reply)
It's a nightmarish outcome
if the only powerful people and institutions we can ridicule are the ones who won't threaten violence.
(
crab_bloke), Fri 24 May 2019, 10:39,
Reply)
Preach it.
But don't believe this applies to Brexiteers.
(
After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Fri 24 May 2019, 21:28,
Reply)
Have you forgotten the cunt shed and that the Mods touch dogs bums?
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Fri 24 May 2019, 12:14,
Reply)
Ебать Сука
Well played. But also: Good luck!
(
The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Thu 23 May 2019, 23:00,
Reply)
Thanks, I'm sure it will all be fine
Nobody will probably die
(
crab_bloke), Thu 23 May 2019, 23:16,
Reply)
But... surely they have seen it
all they have to do is connect to the network share in the office and download it.
I think I remember they were disapproving of Death of Stalin similarly, prior to the premiere.
(
gaijintendo Regular Member, Thu 23 May 2019, 23:08,
Reply)
Yeah
It's a mark of confidence in yourself and your position when you go full bore attack on something you have never seen, but you think might make you look silly.
(
crab_bloke), Thu 23 May 2019, 23:18,
Reply)
Can you let us know what novichok is like on the skin?
Tingly?
(
Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Thu 23 May 2019, 20:53,
Reply)
I sincerely hope they don't have you killed for this
:)
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amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on, Thu 23 May 2019, 21:04,
Reply)
They will most likely just go through the motions
and send two trained beluga whales to harrass you with incessant high pitched singing of Trololo.
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Thu 23 May 2019, 21:57,
Reply)
Yes that's how this stuff works
Stalin would have sent orcas
(
crab_bloke), Thu 23 May 2019, 22:44,
Reply)
What does polonium in your tea taste like?
Do let us know.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Thu 23 May 2019, 21:18,
Reply)
You're the pussy riot of chat shows
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 23 May 2019, 22:34,
Reply)
I forget to say well done old chap. Getting something commissioned by the Beeb is no small beer
possible ideas for segments if you find yourself short of ideas:
"Nyetwork news"
"KGBeeBies"
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 24 May 2019, 5:15,
Reply)
I approve of this post
(
Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Thu 23 May 2019, 22:49,
Reply)
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