High ambitions
When I was 6 we were asked to make drawings of that we wanted to be when we grew up. I had two drawings. On the first I was working in the same place as my dad, looking after a central heating system.

On the second drawing I was a kamikaze pilot complete with the bandana...
( bakelit72 something really clever, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 20:24, Reply)

It's ok to laugh.
I remember vividly, aged 4, wanting to grow up with white skin so that I wouldn't get called Paki and Nignog. Nowadays I not only get called Paki, I am also called Coconut by other asians.
(bonjelafiend, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 20:05, Reply)

I wanted to be many things...
Including a nurse, a spy, a firewoman and a person who climbs mountains to do people's hair.
(Pretty strangers and promises, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 19:38, Reply)

Errr...
I got a Spectrum age 8 and programmed videogames.

I now get paid to program videogames.

I hate it.

Edit: That might sound depressing but I've achieved pretty much the only thing I've ever really wanted to do. Without any apparent effort. At 25ish that means I've hit a quarter-life crisis or something. Most of my ambition is now outside of my professional life.
(mehmeh 0% witty, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 19:24, Reply)

I wanted to be a police officer
Then I wanted to be a car mechanic
Then I wanted to work for the BBC, in the sound effects dept.
( turb0t, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 18:05, Reply)

The realisation of ambition is a terrible thing
Originally I wanted to be an astronaut. That passed after it became patently obvious that you have to make some sort of effort (and mostly be American) to get there.

Then I wanted to be in IT - all these computer geniuses playing with high powered computers on the cutting edge of high technology, getting paid loads and loads and living the yuppie lifestyle. Definitely for me!

SO As I would definitely be the super intelligent, highly paid non-geeky IT type I should go to University and get an excellent masters degree and breeze straight in to a blue chip job.

Umm - forward to January before my A Level exams; Uni place all sorted out . . . my parents decide to go to Australia for a month and I decide to have a mid-teen crisis. Ditched school and did pretty much nothing for a whole year.

Ambition crumbles like a flake in that woman's mouth, except more ugly and messy (and nothing like that at all really).


FFD x 2

I'm now 27. I've only ever worked for one firm but am now a DBA / Programmer. I do get paid a lot and I do have the yuppie lifestyle and a nice house. (Keep reading - pretentious wankerism will be explained).

!!! HOWEVER !!!

You may have guessed from the first line that I am totally lazy - so I do f all work. My work dodging technique is always the first weapon, then, maybe a little bit of coding if I'm really forced to.
Nice house = mortgage = no money.
Nice house also lasted about two months until it turned into studentesque shitpit.
Yuppie lifestyle consists of getting pissed at every available opportunity (every night is an available opportunity and from lunchtimes on the weekend).


PS I'm not a geek because I don't even own a PC. (And can't afford one).

EDIT: length joke omitted cos I'm lazy and nobody'll notice if I skip it anyway.
( Actually i was skiving on, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 17:26, Reply)

For many years I wanted to be a boxer
To the point where I actually went out and bought some gloves, borrowed a book about the sport's various techniques from the library and practiced in front of the mirror.

I only realised that I didn't want to be a boxer when I got in my first proper schoolyard type fight and I found out:-

A. It hurts

B. I really wasn't very good which meant I got hurt more
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 17:21, Reply)

My career choices
Around 5 and 6, going into space. Then I got a PlayStation, and realised killing aliens in a virtual representation of space was probably better than training for years just to go and take a few photos of the moon.

7, going on 8, working at the tip. There was loads of cool stuff there, and it didn't seem particularly difficult.

Between 8 and 11, artist, photographer and archer seemed like better careers, but by this point, my video game addiction was out of control and I gave up on these.

NOTE: All through primary school, forger seemed like a good idea, though this was probably just because I'd always forged my mum's signature in my 'Reading Targets' booklet.

Entering secondary school, I realised that the government would pay me just to sit on my arse and pretend I had a bad back.

I got a guitar for my 14th birthday, so then I decided that rockstar was probably the world's best job, and realised I'd be a complete cretin not to go for it.

I'm now approaching my GCSEs, and as I'm absolutely shit at school I am not going to get any qualifications, leaving me with three options;

Punk rock guitarist
Artist (I got back into art, and now it's one of the few subjects in which I might get a GCSE)
Benefit fraudster

Length? Your mum didn't complain. Lack of humour? [Salutes, drops trousers and falls backwards out of window.]
(peterlynch, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 17:16, Reply)

Smug
Always loved cycling: Became a courier at 18 (not a courier anymore, but still)

Always loved snorkeling, wanted to learn to dive: Now a qualified instructor.

All I need now is to find a company with the need for an underwater cyclist and I'm sorted!
(Squash, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 17:14, Reply)

And before that
i.e. before I grew pubes and started attempting to play amplified musical instruments, I was a fairly decent chess player and wanted to be the next Bobby Fischer.

To see why this wouldn't have been a great idea, have a look at the real Bobby Fischer's extremely NSFW homepage.
(><(((">, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 17:13, Reply)

When I was a lad
I was in a rock band whose stated ambition was 'World Domination by 1985'.

Success is just around the corner. All we need is that New Romantic revival.

(By the way, anyone who says 'ROMO' will be held down and forced to eat back copies of Melody Maker until they die.)
(><(((">, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 17:08, Reply)

Marketing
At about age 17 I decided I was going to work in Marketing. I liked the idea of wearing a suit and tie and perhaps even a bowler hat in true Brit style. So after a bit of job-hunting I was fascinated to read a job advert in the Evening Standard that went something like this:


*** International Marketing Company Seeks Management Trainees ***
We require 17 individuals to train as managers in all aspects of sales and marketing. May include some foreign travel. Great opportunity in the marketing industry for the right candidates.
No experience necessary, full training provided! Earn £350-500 per day! Apply today, start tomorrow!

So I did indeed apply and attended an interview the next day and was offered a job! Whoo! The only thing is that it had nothing to do with marketing and was commission only. In my desperation for a job in marketing I had accepted a door-to-door sales job selling gas and electricity to the shops, restaurants and other businesses around London. Luckily for me I was pretty good at lying (I was a respectable and trustworthy young man at 18 so had no problem ripping people off) and I earned lots and lots of money.

All good so far but now I’m nearly 25 and have been job-hopping from one shit sales job to the next trying to relive those halcyon early days of much merriment and wads and wads of cash. I hate sales and I don’t want to do it anymore but I can’t seem to find work in any other areas! I have never done any “marketing” and all of my experience is in sales so the only jobs I get are sales related which is shite!

Luckily for me, I have just seen an advert in the paper for a job:

*** International Marketing Company Seeks Management Trainees ***
We require 17 individuals to train as managers in all aspects of sales and marketing. May include some foreign travel. Great opportunity in the marketing industry for the right candidates.
No experience necessary, full training provided! Earn £350-500 per day! Apply today, start tomorrow!

I think I might apply!
(aroe_m0rre, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 16:58, Reply)

When I was little
I wanted to work for Greenpeace. Then I found out they didn't pay and were in fact a bunch of unwashed, hairy twats.
( i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 16:45, Reply)

if you achive all your lifes goals
and ambtions, you will be left with nothing to be bitter about in your old age. And therefore be beaten to death by the other old people for beign a smug git. Try to keep that in mind if you want a long term view.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 16:20, Reply)

Loads of ambitions
I had a lot of ambitions when I was young. First one was a spy (inspired by 007 no less), next one was a pilot (everyone goes through that)...the one that lasted the longest though was to be a policeman. I got inspired by some british cop show on TV called Rockcliffes Babies and for years after that I would read up on everything to do with police work. I was determined. Eventually I turned into a teen and got arrested a few times...so BANG!! goes my hopes of the police (bunch of wankers anyway). I ended up being a Unix administrator which was fun, well paid and rewarding. I'm now a software test analyst which is well paid, monotonous and would bore the socks off anyone. My ambition now (which I've kinda achieved) is to be a reasonably well paid trance DJ and producer.
(scotsbloke, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 16:10, Reply)

oh god
and when my half-brother, who is quite a lot older than i am, went off to uni in ireland (very late 1980s, so half the lectures were missed due to bombs etc), he wanted to join the RAF.

i told everyone he wanted to join the IRA. i didn't know there was a difference!

he went ballistic when he found out.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 16:01, Reply)

Dull crushes

When I was a child I wanted to be the girlfriend of the following people Michael J Fox/ Christian Slater/ Johnny Depp. Now they're ill, drug addited and old I feel content that I never achieved these goals.

Apart from Johnny - I definitely still would.
(MizStinky, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 15:56, Reply)

I wanted to be..
a pilot, even though I think you need good vision, and I need glasses to see anything.
This was the case until one day, when my aunties boyfriend took me up in his plane, and I was sick. But I didn't sick all over the plane, see I was a very considerate kid. I held all the sick in my mouth until I felt it was safe to distract him from his flying duties, and ask for a sick bag, which there happened to be loads of.
Nowadays im doing electronic engineering at uni - its probably easier on the stomach.
( BlackCloud, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 15:45, Reply)

not so much childhood ambitions as current ambitions
- formula 1 driver
- national geographic photographer
- anything BUT my current profession of accounting
(Handel blah blah blah, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 15:16, Reply)

not so much childhood...
...but a few years ago I had an ambition to become Wolverine. A friend of mine was an engineer so I figured he'd do the endoskeletion and claws, and another friend was a medical student so she could sort out the healing powers and stuff (don't ask me how, that's what university is for...).

The engineer had a psychotic relapse, quit his engineering job and is now a web entrepreneur. The medical student killed herself.

Be careful what you wish for...because random coincidences etc etc etc.

Anyway, apologies for length of adamantium claws (or lack of, selfish bastards).
( yes yes yes man oi mate, someone's writtten 'bum' on your neck, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 14:51, Reply)

carry on spying
i wanted to be a spy for a brief period as a small child. unfortunately i broke the first rule by telling my mother. who pissed herself laughing and asked me why.

"because i can walk quietly," was my inspired response. 2 seconds before tiptoeing straight over the top step and crashing down the stairs like a herd of randy elephants.

ah well, trench coats look like flasher macs anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 14:40, Reply)

When I was little I wanted to grow up to be a pedant.

Quote: "The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.'"

"I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES" should have the apostrophe AFTER the 's'.

Hooray!
( The Legendary Pink Dot survived yet another, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 14:38, Reply)

I wanted to be a musketeer.
It was a time when those with old films with Michael York and Oliver Reed played on TV frequently on Saturday mornings. They made life look great. A non stop circus of almost playful swordfights, confrontation with evil men from the church, easy heroism, large jugs of red wine and plenty of buxom women with few morals. Obviously, I would need to train to achieve my goal and earn my frilly shirt and sword.

Picture a nine year old with very little co-ordination skills practising all the things I thought was important to be a musketeer.

Swordskills: Me with a bamboo cane against the trees. They never fell, but by gosh, did they get some feeble, whippy punishment.

Swinging from things: In all the films, it appeard any fight would be in a stalemate until at least one of the good guys had dramatically swung from something across the area of combat, knocking over a good number of baddies. One peice of frayed, discarded tow-rope, tied to a nearby tree/fencing opponent later and I was swinging (obviously in the orginal sense of the word)like a bamboo carrying Tarzan.

The wine drinking was practised with Ribena, and I would have to wait a painful amount of years before my first experience with a willing big boobed woman.

I didn't realise at the time, due to the English accents in the film, that I wasn't really French enough to be a musketeer, a thin sword was no real opposition to a modern gun in a combat situation, a camp frilly shirt and boots that borderd transvestism wouldn't act as effective body armour and I was about 400 years too late.

Oh well, fun while it lasted.

Click 'I Like This' if you still think that bastard Cardinal Richilieu needs to be taught a lesson.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 14:20, Reply)

disability
I always wanted to be a pilot, until I found out I was very colourblind and can therefore not pilot anything. I carve the names of different colours into my arms ever since.
( HelloIamAdam and Adam is my name, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 14:12, Reply)

Success!
I dreamed as a child to be fat, bald, have a bad back, constantly out of breath and stinking of fags.

If only everyone's dreams could come true.
(Crash0ng does not recognise your line., Fri 30 Mar 2007, 14:00, Reply)

My earliest ambition...
..was to be a bus driver; then an author, and finally a private detective. Once I'd dropped out of University I ended up working in music retail for nearly ten years, and have finally found myself working in Insurance.
Gradually and steadily, any ambitions I'd harboured have been eroded away until finally I'm left with the awesome conclusion that I'd probably resent doing most things, but it keeps me off the streets and mainly out of trouble. Like Homer once said: "The moral of this story is...don't even try".
(mcnelson, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 13:55, Reply)

Before I went to uni...
I had two real career ambitions - archaeologist or civil servant. The next year I was employed as an archaeologist by a government funded body - BAM! Both life aims achieved before 21.

Probably why I feel my life is a massive gaping void these days...
(misteroz, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 13:54, Reply)

I used to wonder...
...what happened to all those kids who were lucky, as they knew from the word go what they wanted to be: a fireman, a traindriver etc.

Then I figured it out, they are driving trains or playing pool in a firestation.

Probably better off not finding something I enjoyed doing for a living until I was 30...by which time it was too late to do it for a living.
(E-mail Zola Son of Che, Fri 30 Mar 2007, 13:40, Reply)