What's the longest you've ever given up something just to see if you could.
Once I gave up bread for a month and I've even given up alcohol for six months.
( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 15:13, 203 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In my capacity as obscure psychedelicist du jour
I should like to draw the attentions of those with YouTube at work - and indeed of those workshy skivers and dolescum not actually AT work, to this record of extreme comical genius:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OoYW-QpWSM

They were prevented from touring Europe "because it would be dangerous. People thought "Spazz" made fun of mentally retarded people and would throw rocks..."
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 14:05, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Favourite Oxymoron
Apologies if this has been done before , however I shall start with 2 of my best examples.

Police Intelligence

The Best of Coldplay
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:19, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This morning,
I discovered I had been invited to one of those stupid facebook groups.
Only it was entitled
"Girls shouldn't sleep with their best friend's boyfriends!"
Oops.
I laughed at the wonderful irony, and considered joining for a fraction of a second, for said irony. Then ignored the request and blocked the sender, like I always do.

What ironic, or brilliantly fitting things have happened to you recently?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:18, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

this morning, i find myself sorely tested
our venerable inkjet printer has fucked with me for the last time. as soon as the boss gives the word, i'm taking it out on the lawn outside the office, where everyone can see, then i'm gonna drop trow, mount it, and fuck it to death, no lube, no cuddling and chit-chat after. and while this happens, i shall be reminded of the scene from office space where they fuck the printer up with a bat.
what in your morning draws parallels with pop culture shit-naks?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:06, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello all
I need some help.

Last week, a friend of mine was diagnosed with Bipolar & Split-Personality disorder. She's just stopped being bullied hideously, and her family aren't much help. As a result, she's currently feeling rock bottom. Last night she texted me, telling me she wants to die, and that she'd taken all of her meds. At this point, I try phoning, but she just keeps cancelling every call.

I managed to get her address off her sister, and phoned an ambulance for her (as I'm 40 miles away, and so no help). I then keep phoning. After a while she answers, just to shout at me for phoning an ambulance, as she just wanted to die alone, and was refusing to let them in. After that she just ignored all calls, then turned her phone off.

At this point there's nothing more I can do, so I'm bouncing off the walls trying to think of some way I can help, but I come up short. After about 20 mins, I get a text where she tells me she's now in the hospital, so I phone the local one, asking whether she had been admitted. The 3 local hospitals said no, and I tried again after an hour, they still said no.

Now, there is no doubt in my mind that she didn't actually want to die, but I don't know whether this is a cry for help, or if she's just attention seeking. If it hadn't been for the diagnosis last week, I wouldn't have been quite as worried, but now it's even better, as her Dad is kicking her out for causing trouble. My question is aimed at those who are Bipolar, or who know someone with it.

Is this normal? And what do you reckon the chances of her trying again are?

I know it's vague, but I can't help worrying. Cheers.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:18, 82 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

GONZ IS VERY POORLY!
He is in the hospital feeling very blue and bored and he can't play on b3ta.
Let's create a nice thread of love for him to see when he comes back.
What do you miss most about Gonz when he's not here?
( thealternativefact, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:36, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yesterday I decided to do something I swore I would never do.
I have decided to purchase a small tv/dvd for my bedroom so I can spend my weekends watching Father Ted, black and white movies and eating chocolate in bed. I think I might buy one of those croched bed jackets to wear in pale pink or yellow.

What have you done recently that you swore blind you would never do.
( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 9:06, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

YES!!!!!!
Ladies and Gents, this years main act at Donington are none other than the mighty A to the C to the motherfucking DC! Also playing so far will be Them Crooked Vultures, Motorhead and Megadeth.

What has made you bounce up and down on your yoga ball (we don't have a computer chair at home) and go YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! while punching the air like a maniac recently?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 7:10, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

BUM BUM BUM BUM
I'm touching my bum.

What are you touching?
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 1:49, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I'm sipping on coke and rum,
I'm like so what I'm drunk,
It's the freaking weekend
Baby I'm about to have me some fun.
What lyrics do you know that you don't know why you know but you know?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 22:44, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Watch out Enzyme.
I got three questions correct on University Challenge and they weren't about pop culture.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 20:31, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Your New Earworm

Since U Been gone - Kelly Clarkson.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 18:39, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all
I can't decide between getting pizza, Chinese or, uh, other Chinese (one is the bogstandard takeaway, the other is a noodle bar takeaway) for dinner tonight. Which one do I go for OT?

What are you lovely people having for dinner tonight?
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 18:01, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This sounds ghastly.
From a message on our work intranet:

Do you know someone who is… absolutely gorgeous but a real handful?
the makers of big brother are looking for beautiful people to take part in the development of a new tv project that takes a fun look at good-looking, demanding, high-maintenance characters and the lifestyles they lead.
• do you get everything you want, when you want it?
are you the most high-maintenance person you know?
• do you have a gorgeous girlfriend / boyfriend – but sometimes they’re just too much to handle!
• do you know someone with a fiery personality who just needs to chill out and enjoy life?
are you beautiful but trouble?
if this sounds like you or someone you know then get in touch:
email: (omitted as I don't want to appear to be spamming)
please email us asap with your name, mobile number and email and tell us why you / the person you’d like to nominate would be great for our project.
****please remember to email photographs!****

I think I'd rather spoon my own eyes out than have to sit and watch a bunch of annoying, vacuous tossers offering themselves up to a baying public. Unless they were going to be locked in a roomfull of tigers without any chairs with which to defend themselves.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 25 Jan 2010, 16:48, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

does anyone know the novel Love For Lydia by H.E Bates?
And if so can anyone tell me how the silly bitch ends up in hospital?

Boring explanatory bit: I go to sleep listening to Radio 7 and often wake up still listening to it. On either Saturday or Sunday morning can't remember which) I doze through a dramatization of the above novel, not liking it much but not awake enough to turn it off. Come Sunday night, My girlie and I were lying in bed, reading and listening to the radio (exciting life we lead) and it was repeated.

Long story short (too late!): AT some point the annoying heroine lands her self in hospital and spends bloody ages getting better again and both times I listened to the wretched I missed How the silly bint got there, some thing I didn't even notice until my missus casually asked what happened to her.

Now it's driving me mad, nowhere that I can find on the internet is and actual plot synopsis, many things claim to be,but contain little of the actual plot, and I'm buggered if I'm listening to the damn thing again on iPlayer either.

/rant
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 25 Jan 2010, 16:41, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

IF
You had a time machine and could go back in time, to whenever you liked, and could only take something that could fit into a cig packet.

When and where would you go and what would you take, to hopefully ensure your God like status, and obviously get lots of indigenous fanneh?

I would go back to Greek times and take with me a scientific calculator, solar powered of course.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 16:24, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fucking hell, it's gone a bit ghost-towny in here has it not?
Do you believe in ghosts and/or other paranormal stuff?

I say 'of course not, don't be a fucking medieval idiot', although I concede that places where horrible things have happened could have a kind of atmosphere memory. I once visited Hermitage Castle and my whole family got extremely bad vibes from the place.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 16:19, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't think there has been enough breast talk on here today so.........................................
BREASTS!
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 15:17, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Preparing to ride the thunder
I just ate out-of-date Mexican food for lunch. It was delicious and I'm sure it was fine and the queasiness is surely psychosomatic.

What gamble have you taken lately?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 14:09, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have now not slept longer than 4 hours in a row for 7 months
I'm starting to hallucinate from sleep deprivation I think. Baby turns 4 months tomorrow, and has spent the last week waking every 45 minutes during the night.

I just want to whinge really, but as I need an obligatory question, I'll ask this - do you have a bedtime routine, and if so, what is it? Mine is currently - hand baby to mrVitC, go and do my teeth, get into my pyjamas (or whatever clothing I have that hasn't been covered in baby vom/piss/shit), then lie down in bed to feed baby. Very dull. Used to involve less baby and more practice-for-making-baby, but that's no longer possible.

God, I'm exhausted and horny. Not a good combination.
( ascorbate, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 13:50, 120 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just heard
that I've been turned down for a Big Work Thing for which I was in the running - it would have been extremely good for my CV, very high profile, blah, blah, blah. Strangely enough I'm relieved.

So, what have you lost recently and were you happy or sad about it?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 11:47, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've had a shit weekend
The Fosse Way is a plethora of fucking potholes and one really fucking nasty one has fucked my alloy.

So one alloy + new tyre means I get to pay Audi £580 *cries* Yeah yeah I could get one cheaper off ebay but the only ones they have on have been kerbed to fuck and they still want £100 for that.

People keep asking if I am going to sue the council but does that ever actually work? Yes I did see that bloke on Fifth Gear do that thing about them but I can't really jump out my car on the fosse and take pictures of it.

I only want doom and gloom here, cheerful people will be shot
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:46, 141 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning. Not only is my computer dead, my Xbox has decided to follow suit.
Has anybody any experience of the x-clamp home-fixes for the Red Ring of Death?

If not, what do you hate most about computers or Bowie?
(TheColonel, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:33, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Where's Pooflake when you need him?
Release Bernard!

DISCLAIMER: This is likely to be meaningful to fewer than 10 people in these parts. Tough.

What? You want a question as well? OK.
Last night I ate far too much, and now my stomach feels as though its full of pewter frogs. What's in your stomach today?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:17, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

1 good reason NOT to get pissed
You might end up doing a duet with a mate. In a public place. With microphones. Against your better judgement.....
Our unfortunate choice of song was Bohemian Rhapsody. At least we got a round of applause (Think along the lines of "thank goodness they have finished")

What horrendous tunes have you murdered in your drink addled state?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 10:06, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well I had a fucking brilliant weekend.
I had steaks'n'drugs'n'rock'n'roll with an old pal on Friday night, slept pretty much all Saturday, had 5 blissful hours with my daughter yesterday, then went to the pub and got pissed. It were reet champion.

Beat THAT, suckahs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 9:17, 83 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Back to work today.
Player loaded, season ticket to be purchased, great unwashed to be joined.

Wish me luck as I wave you goodbye, you have all helped my sanity during the long absence.

Cheers m'dears..
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 25 Jan 2010, 8:44, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

@beckyjsbx
Yeah.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 24 Jan 2010, 23:52, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just had a wee on a police car
Luckily they didn't notice.

Where have you had a wee?
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Sun 24 Jan 2010, 21:55, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)