Enough about boobs already.......Let's discuss willies.
I haven't got one.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 14:08, 73 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I feel dirty
replying to threads with pretentious waffle at the beginning. So instead

BOOOOOOBS! Discuss.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:59, 89 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Life is but a long trudge through the Vale of Tears
with only the darkness of the eternal void to look forward to.

So. What's cheered you up today?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:50, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've decide to buy...
A lottery ticket this evening.

What numbers should I pick?

I'll go with the 6 most popular numbers here - unless they look shit*, in which case I'll get a lucky dip.

*Ex-wife would buy a 'lucky dip' lottery ticket twice a week, but if she didn't like the look of the numbers, she'd have to buy another one. The randomness of the draw was lost on her.

Selected: 4 8 15 16 23 42
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:18, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My bestest friend is going to be on a new gameshow
called 'The Whole 19 Yards'. Vernon Kaye and Calista Caroline Flack are the presenters and apparently it's going to be like a mix of Gladiators and the Krypton Factor.

If you could twat anyone with a pugil stick, who would it be, and why?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:32, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I was wandering briefly into the lower reaches of the internet* the other night
and was presented with a banner from some site advertising pictures of Daniel Whatsisname from Harry Potter in the buff, because he'd been starring in Equus, a role which requires him to get his cock out on stage, apparently.

Now, I'm not gay, and really have no desire to see Harry P's knob, so I didn't click on this. But I remember reading about the play at the time and finding out he was only 17. So, isn't taking and ofering nudey pics of him illegal then? Were it Emma Watson, for example, there would been an outcry from the Daily Mail crowd.

Just saying, like.

So, what did you have for breakfast today?

*akin to a walk through Soho.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 8:36, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know this is pathetic...
I just got totally and utterly unceremoniously dumped. I'm terribly sad. Please tell me tales of getting over heartbreak.
(skrinklelada, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:35, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm having a bash. Woo!
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/21876
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 18:29, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just opened
a packet of Haribo Tangfastics - anyone want one? There are lots to choose from.

Question: Best and worst bands you've ever seen and why.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 17:06, 90 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ARGH!!!!
I understand people do desperate things in desperate times but people are now paying "psychics" to try an help find the missing person I keep going on about. Can anyone honestly say they have ever had any experience that would lead you to believe that its for real and not cold reading/magic trick etc? I think all its doing is stopping people looking and they are all now concentrating on some area of woodland just cos some psychic told them that where her energy is.

Oooo it makes me mad!
( Peej, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 16:53, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going to Mexico today.
Where are you going?
( wanderlust, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 16:49, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know this is blasphemy
But I'm worried about QOTW. No-one's posted owt for over 4 hours. Surely people haven't got anything better to do than swap stories about Gingers?!!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 16:44, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Heard about this?
www.skaiti.webs.com/

a few of my mates are doing it. Quite a cool idea
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 16:11, 47 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A friend of mine has just texted to complain that her boyfriend stopped mid-cunnilingus to go and watch Glee. GLEE.
Is this the gayest thing you've ever, ever heard?

If not, what the juddering fuck is?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 14:21, 147 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Freedom!
I have a month off work, and precious little to fill my time with. Suggestions?
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 13:01, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

On the phone to my bank, I get done what I need to get done,
and say thanks to the call centre girl for her help. She then asked "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Surely, if there was, I'd have asked her to do it for me BEFORE thanking her and ending the call? I know it's probably in her script and she has to say it but come on...

What's the stupidest question you've been asked recently?
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 2 Mar 2010, 12:59, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well
I am at home today feeling exceptionally sorry for myself. head full of snot, bright red nose caused by excessive blowing and aching all over. The BF, in a rare act of extreme loveliness has offered to get some shopping for me which has cheered me up immensely.

Two questions.
1. apart from loo rolls and orange squash, what should I put on the list? I did think that an aardvaark may be appropriate. I think I have til about 2 to get the full list texted over....

2. Who has been surprisingly thoughtful to you today?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 11:15, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

WTF
why, when I reply to an individual message, does this site stick the reply about 20 messages down from where it should be?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 10:58, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

User Names
I rather feel I'm stuck with Monty Boyce as it seems to suit me, but I sometimes ponder about alternatives. The two I like best are

1. Tony Scoper
2. R. McGeddon

I'm still smarting at being overruled on Midnight Titshots, mind you.

Anyone got any other good ones?

EDIT I meant good ones in general, not specifically for me, really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 10:45, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Things I found out last weekend,
Monty is easy on the eye.
Clendrix is old.
Wookie needs a brown suit.
Bill is a mong.


What's surprised you lately.
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 9:41, 111 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

morning all
how be everyone?


for those of you who have a little freedom at work - what do you do in the office before you actually start working (as in after you are supposed to be working)?

generally I read through some webcomics, check the BBC Sport pages and then attempt to begin my work
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 8:44, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone needing to use the jubilee line this morning
Don't bother, its cunted.

Public service announcement brought to you by armani suited fuckwit who has no idea of personal hygiene or space early in the morning.

What's pissed on your chips this morning?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 8:44, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone here taking part in this?
www.ukbigfreeze.co.uk/?home

Just curious

if any b3tans are , then why not out yourselves by posing with a turnip? ( or swede if you are down south ) ;)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 1:19, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And I'm finally home!
As DG said here I haven't had the best luck with transport this weekend but I'm now finally home safe and sound after a brilliant weekend.
(bill, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 22:54, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I found a band for Gonz
Oh No! Oh My!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 22:14, Reply)

Its my candle day!
I've got headache, a lumpy forehead and 2 black eyes after a little fall :-)

Everyone ok here? Any excitement in my absense?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 21:58, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Three guys just knocked on our door to tell us there was an unconscious man in our front yard.
We called the ambulance and everything. Turned out he was very, very, very drunk but he started breathing okay and the ambulance car turned up and sorted him out. Five years ago someone overdosed on the pavement outside my house and I had to do the same phone-ambulance-cover-with-blanket stuff. Don't know if she lived though. But my house is like a magnet for the unconscious.

In other exciting news today: catfaceceilidhbaby is a girl. Girl geek quotient ++
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 18:09, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't know who to vote for
it's not going to be labour, because I don't think they know what they are doing.

the trouble is, I don't know about anyone else either. Either tell me where to look, how to decide, or give me a persuasive reason to vote for someone.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 17:31, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Your votes in the forthcoming election
Give positive reasons for your choice not negative reasons for the other parties.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Mon 1 Mar 2010, 16:24, 115 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That was an awesome weekend.
Even though Bill managed to miss his bus on the Friday, so arrived at 8.30 Saturday morning instead. Then got to the bus station yesterday only to find that his bus back was today.

Oh, how we laughed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Mar 2010, 14:56, 125 replies, latest was 16 years ago)