Oh man.... =/
Myself and a few others have been trolling a facebook group: www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=366712007047&ref=nf

I just found this in their photos section....
www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=35768&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=366712007047&aid=-1&id=100000809037463&oid=366712007047#!/photo.php?pid=23125&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=366712007047&aid=-1&id=100000855249836&oid=366712007047&fbid=100894803282361

Man, some people really shouldn't be allowed on the internet, it's quite disturbing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 12:29, 90 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's interesting to read your perspectives on the NHS in the UK.
While there may be some issues, it seems to be so much better than what we have in the US. I'm lucky as we get good insurance with my work and we can afford to pay for it, but there are many people in the US who don't have this option.

If you don't have insurance you don't get regular preventative care. When you do end up sick you are worse because no preventative care. People then end up going to the hospital emergency room where thety can't throw you out anymore and get shit, short term care for accute problems but nothing for chronic issues. Then huge bills.

Private insurance companies are generally slime too. My wife has a family member with serious intestinal issues. Even though she has been with one insurance company for over ten years and always paid her premiums on time, they are tryinh to throw her off of the insurance. Great, you pay them hoping they will pay when you get sick and then when you need them,l they try to throw you out. You calso can't just change insurance companies because they cover any "pre-existing" conditions.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 12:25, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ok I've spent all morning googling Jeff Bridges and I'm bored now.
Let's talk about happiness.

What would make you happy right now?
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 10:50, 112 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was dead all of last week with only slight signs of ressurection on friday
Now I'm back, and most of the nose custard has dried up, I want to wish you all a happy Monday.

Tell me stuff about anything at all, I need to look busy in the office.
Or, does anybody have a good way of rejuvenating crusty snot rags?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 7:37, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I want a new thread!
So, what will happen this week?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 21:38, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Those really shit days...
I'm having a rather shit day.
Shall I start from the top, or shall I just go in order of shit-ness?

I think from the top...

1. Woke up late, rushed to work in woefully underpowered car. Got speeding ticket.
2. Got to work, was a comeplete mess when I got there. Nothing was going right. Spoke to my boss (who is one of the nicest people I've ever met)
3. Told me to come home and get over whatever it is that making me a wreck.
4. Broke car on way back.
5. Now I've had to get my mother to take my cat to the vet as he's started coughing up blood. Oh fucking joy.
6. Now sat in front of laptop, on a glorious sunny day, worrying about more things than my brain can cope with, all the while, trying to work.

Now I've rambled on, anyone care to share their really shit days and how you got over it?
(one-winged-angel-616 isn't as depressed as she sounds, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 13:10, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh boy
I fucking LOVE all this new code they've put on the QOTW board. Quick reply and the ability to link to individual posts is ace.

At the risk of sounding like a gushing teenage girl who's just watched a Twilight documentary I would like to say thanks very much to the mods for keeping this site running as well as it does.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 13:10, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Formula One!
Woo! New season! Man, there's nothing I love more than watching cars go round and round and.... zzzzzzzzzz....

What helps you nap on a Sunday afternoon! Or what sporting event do you look forward to?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 11:44, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My cousin is using her facebook status to remember Jade Goody on Mother's Day
What heartwarming words or deeds have taken you by surprise recently?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 8:31, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

While skiing today
I performed a 25mph old-skool faceplant - as in I was perfectly horizontal in midair, and my face was the first thing to connect with the snow. I got a ski pole trapped under my chest, and the force of the impact was enough to snap it clean in two.

I sat up, fully expecting the pain to hit me, and... nothing. No pain. Just winded myself a little.

What pleasantly surprised you today?


Edit: The mystery of which body part broke the pole has been solved - my left shoulder has been aching like hell for the last two days.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 21:19, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I like breasts.
.......just saying.



And what's quick reply?
( girlinthehole, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 17:58, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bloody hell. I just totally manned the fuck up!
I'm going to Arizona next week (driving) to clean my boyfriends shit tip, which I'm being paid for.
I was originally gonna take the boyfriends daughter as she needs some work too, but I've just told him under the circumstances it's not a good idea. I followed it up with "I don't want to sit in a car for 6 hours each way with someone who can tell someone with depression to go kill themselves".
And fuck me, he understands and agrees.

What have you found liberating lately?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 20:12, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ooh, lovely new Off Topic code appearing.
You can link to individual posts properly now. Spotted anything else?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 18:42, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Russian "facts" about women.
1. A woman never takes off shirt, clutching at his back.
2. Women are not scratched in the back. First, they do not like to show their dismay, secondly, it spoils the hair.
3. She often pulls the strands of hair of hair, even short ones, finger or a brush of hair tickled his cheek. Men are so rarely done.
4. She never really does not understand why players, building a wall, make a funny slide palms. Therefore, it is not starting, when a movie hero gets hit with a boot in the crotch.
5. Woman bites not a cigarette with his teeth. She does not leave her mouth, but always keeps in his hand.
6. Yawning, the woman covers her mouth with his hand, not with his fist.
7. Taking a bath, a woman - no matter how long-haired, short-haired, or recover from typhoid - always pulls on his head like a turban of the amateur towels, at least for one minute. Causes of the eastern rite known.
8. Woman was almost annoying when clothes get stuck between the buttocks. The fair sex with pleasure is all this the torture device called the "bikini." In addition, usually a woman is not trying to quietly correct underwear behind, rising from his chair.
9. Swinging, something to throw, a woman removes her hand is not sideways, and back. That's why women never sent to blow up tanks.
10. Women like these torn twigs, from which so much garbage. They call them "compositions of dried flowers.
11. Shaking hands, the woman barely shakes her. About Women's handshake poet Voloshin said that it seemed "to podkidyvanie dead baby."
12. Turning to the call, the woman usually turns only his head. Man unfolds and the body, because it is much less flexible neck.
13. Women are afraid of spiders, worms and mice. They also do not like the caterpillars, even very beautiful.
14. The vast majority of women believe that to wash with soap and water is bad (How they washes - look in the bathroom).
15. Being engaged in sex, a woman thinks about whether she looks beautiful.
16. When asked to show the hands of honest men stretch out an open palm. Women stretch out his hands palms down, apparently in order to demonstrate the perfect manicure and size of diamonds.
17. Words that woman says, slapping on the finger with a hammer, you can skip without censorship in the air "Good night, kids ..." That said, in such cases a man, can not be broadcast.
18. Women open beer bottle opener for beer bottles.
19. The women dominated the thoracic type of respiration. The men in the process of respiration is actively involved abdominal muscles.
20. Women do not like it when they have free hands. Therefore, they are always with a handbag - to twirl her thong to hold the edge and endlessly in her digging. For lack of a handbag fit anything - fan, gloves, book, a flower.
21. Rise or descend from the mountains, women are trying sideways. Men just wider straddle.
22. Consider their heels women prefer, turning his back. Men simply turn raised foot.
23. By his genitals to women rather indifferent, detached attitude, they are almost strangers to each other. Women do not talk to them, not give them a playful nicknames, do not resent them.
24. On the hot sand, gravel or woman goes on tiptoe. A man comes only at the heel.
25. Sitting down, women are squeezing your knees, or just keep them in parallel. Therefore, public transport have a neighbor lady preferred.
26. Stretching, the men spread out, or raise their hands, and women bend their elbows in, pressing the sides.
27. The desire for compromise inherent in the female sex, affects how they tell obscene jokes. They may decide to publicly tell even the most greasy anecdote. But the key word probormochut so indistinctly that no one knows. More often they are trying to send indecent zest facial expressions, gestures and desperate look on his face.
28. The belt on the woman's robe tied above the navel, and men - below.
29. If a woman on the street unbuttoned fly, Rostral Columns rather indifferent react to this circumstance and calmly zastegnet pants.
30. Ears fingers silenced women, and men - with his hands.
31. When you ask a woman to give you a lighter, it sends you a lighter, but does not check your jumping ability and reaction.
32. If a man with a female perspective, very little went into the development process from ape, then we, for our part, we can also note some atavism inherited our ladies in the four-inherited from ancestors. For example, the clock found in his hair male insects. In the absence of small arthropods, the women met acne and pimples.
33. Dressed, a woman first put on his shirt, then - pants. Men usually do the opposite.
34. Woman puts on gloves before going outside.
35. Lifting a heavy object, a woman will try to move it to the side. A man carries the weight in front of him.
36. Trifle and large bills, women prefer to wear in the same place. They rarely ring pockets.
37. When punching a woman puts forward thumb.
38. When the women sit, they have a habit tuck under her leg and rest against the heel in the perineum. Men such does not allow.
39. To overcome manually wet clothes, the woman takes up his palms up, man - hands down.
40. And more: after sex the woman wants to stay awake and talking and kissing.

From here: muz4in.net/news/fakty_o_zhenshhinakh/2010-03-12-4948

Google Translate is fun.
( Wanderer, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 17:39, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

BEER
NOW
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 17:10, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh lordy.
One of the girls in my office just dragged me into a conversation about colonic irrigation. She was explaining what it was to another girl and was saying she was going to go to a spa and have a ‘session’. In my usual polite and sensitive way I decided to contribute by shouting ‘why would you do that, what's wrong with you, can’t you just poooooo like a normal person’… this happened right as one of my bosses walked past. He is now looking at me like I am a mental.

When was the last time you got caught saying something stupid by your boss?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 12 Mar 2010, 17:06, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I went to see Emilie Autumn last night.
It was phenomenal. Beautiful women in very little yet gorgeous clothing making fantastic music, getting off with each other and spraying rum into the audience. Plus, a chance to get all dressed up in my new corset.

It was very nearly the best gig I've been to. Would have been if there'd been signing after, but I had to make do with a poster.

What's the best gig you've ever been to?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 15:40, 184 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm all shook up, having just been involved in an altercation.
I caught a scrawny yoof trying to liberate stuff from the back of my van.
When I challenged him (oy, what the fuck?) instead of doing el nasho grande he decided to attack me!
I'm not the smallest of blokes so was a little surprised by this course of action.
There was a minor tussle and the scrawny yoof found himself on the ground with, I suspect, a couple of broken ribs. I came out of it unharmed but my right hand is a little sore.
I really did thump him about as hard as I could, seriously conscious of trying to hurt him rather than just defend myself. This disturbs me.
I feel a bit sick now.

What has disturbed you today?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 15:13, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm sorry ok, but I'm stuck and need help and no-one here is capable

Motherfucking Mail merges, I've followed every step to the letter, but nothing comes up in the address block and the greeting line just says Dear Sir Madam, I've been to Microsoft's webpage etc and I'm at my wit's end, so any top tips appreciated.

Alternatively what's the worst thing that's been in your mouth
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 14:33, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Can we talk about tattoos now?
I would like to get 2, I suppose I may just do that next weekend.
What do you have? What do you want?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 14:22, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Body art is for the ugly.
How many of these websites have you been on?
news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/sci_nat/10/internet_treemap/assets/neilsen_top_100_january_2010.xls
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 13:35, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fuck guitar players with stupid names and kitchens.
What shall I get peirced?
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 12:46, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fuck sweets and kitchens
I've got tickets to see DICK MOTHERFUCKING DALE!

Thank you to Vippers for the tip.

I am practically foaming at the helmet in anticipation...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 12:07, 73 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh, OTers, with your griddles and cookers and recipes...
Catface and I are ripping out the kitchen and tearing down walls and building a whole new kitchen from scratch.

So, where do I start designing the new one? What makes a good kitchen? How the hell do I decide what to buy? What are your kitchen fantasies (thinking of kitchen design here rather than straddling Jeff Bridges on the washing machine but am quite happy to hear your sordid perversions)?

I already have a griddle and cooker.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 11:38, 102 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, fuck sweets, yeah?
What we all want to know is, what're you wearing, and does my bum look big in this?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 10:51, 118 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This week I have become addicted to Bassetts Aniseed Imperials
I also know exactly how many times I have had sex so far this year.

Do you like Bassetts Aniseed Imperials? Do you know how many times you have have sex so far this year? Are you bored of inane OT posts about food, sweets and sex? Would anyone like free technical support?
( Peej, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 9:16, 119 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

FInally Friday!
Thank Crunchy. (The chocolate bar, not 'Crunchy the Donkey Brays Elgar', HMHB fans.)

In replies I'm going to show you a photo.
As some of you know I'm looking after someone's house and cats because members of her family seem to be dying left, right and centre and she can't be here.
Well, some time last week I was sitting on her toilet with the door open (well there's nobody to see me) and in a little nook in the wall outside in the hall (probably a former air-vent) I spot something. Now I was only having a wee, but it nearly made me do a poo...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 8:29, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've not posted here before, so go gentle.
But looking at the rules, it seems about the right place. I wanted to respond to some people from QOTW, but the question is now closed.
Firstly i wanted to say thank you for the generousity of the replies; it really lifted my spirits. There are some very kind people out there in B3ta.
I hope you guys see this message, I can't Gaz you all. You will know who you are if you do.
I am aware i came across as melodramatic, if not slightly derranged. Certainly selfish.
You told me the truth. You told me to apply logic. You told me to forgive myself, because i wasn't guilty. That all makes sense. It's The Truth.
But I bugged out of work early today, and watched the sunset. I just sat, and watched it.
What I witnessed was a ball of superhot gas disappear over the horizon of a revolving planet. Light was refracted and reflected due to cloud conditions. Then the stars gradually came out and i looked into an infinite Universe. That's truth, that's logic.
But what did I actually see?
I saw magic. I saw beauty.
I think what i'm trying to say is that to apply logic and truth, sometimes it can remove the soul. Or in other words, my guilt and self loathing are so much a part of me that to be cured would be to die. I hope this makes some kind of sense. I'm not sure it does.
( TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 0:40, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)