So tired
Nightmares, coughing fits, dreams about my calamitous ex and finally insomnia at 3am.
However, I'm still in a relatively good mood, I have coffee, and I'm off tomorrow.

What keeps you wading through the shit?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 7:47, 159 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm not dead
I've just not been around for a while.
Has anybody missed me?
Who's chief cunt nowadays?
What excitement have i missed out on?
Who loves me the most?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:10, 251 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hi, and all that
It's been a crazy weekend, but now all the important things are kind of done or decided, which is good, although we're going to spend more money than we wanted, but my parents wouldn't go for a mediocre wedding, so they're paying a good chunk of it anyway.

The question is, should I get upset or not? My brother is going to visit my sister in NY and going with their partners to Vegas. There, they are going to marry (each sibling is going to marry his/her partner, you dirty) That's at the begining of December, 1 month before my wedding, without inviting anyone, but not just eloping, as they've told me.

I feel quite bad about it, honestly. Am I being silly?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 17:38, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Medical Thread
Chronic heartburn / acid reflux. Any idea what it might be a symptom of? (Apart the obvious, that I should stop drinking.)

I'm in a fair amount of discomfort this afternoon and starting to worry that I'm developing an addiction to Rennies...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 15:40, 226 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just heard that one of the boys I know from Uni has just started an 'Atheism society'
Being somewhat older than the typical student, at 24, I don't share his belief that it's "a bold statement against an institutionalized, archaic belief system" - I just think it's a bit wanky and pretentious. Besides, what are they going to discuss? "There's no God" "Yep, pretty much" "I agree" "Right then...has anyone brought biscuits?" Am I wrong to think so - is it a worthwhile statement to be making?

Alt Q: Can anyone come up with any decent 'Atheist' hymns for them to sing?
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:31, 265 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

There's a lot of anger around today
Can't we all just get along?

if not, why not?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:16, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fuck that shit
andythepieman, if you want actual dating advice, go and ask your dad.

It's now September the first which means there are only thirty days to go until we have to wake up agnostic antichrist.

Tony Blair is now claiming that he cried a lot about sending the armed forces into Iraq and drank a lot to compensate for the emotional stress.

When did you last cry or use alcohol as an emotional crutch?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:30, 200 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who is the angriest B3tan ever?
My vote goes for TGB but my basis of reference is fairly small. The only other I could think of was Al and he isn't that angry just a cunt.

Alt Q: Is there an official rule book for OT? people lately seem to be banging on about what you can and can't do and it doesn't make much sense to dumbo here.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 12:18, 77 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Really need some advice
I have in the last couple of months broken up with my missis after being together for 21 years. As a result of this extremely long relationship i don't have a lot of experience with dating in general. This is a problem as tonight i have a blind date with a friend of a friend who i have met previously but not really to talk too.

Any advice on where to go and how to behave would be welcome as i don't really want to blow it as soon as i get out of the car.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:47, 172 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know it's early for a lunch thread
but I am sick about talking about cats. People who own dogs don't go on and on and on about them this much.

I have pickled onion pom bears to nom on later a ham sandwich and a kitkat chunky. I also haven't had anything to drink today so I may go make some tea, minus the brown sauce
/obscure film reference.

Q: How weird is it that it's already September??? lolz
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:44, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am fucking angry & would like your advice please
Got four cats. Two of which are registered in my ex-girlfriends name. She’s a veterinary nurse and a complete cunt. We split up 2 ½ years ago (very acrimoniously) and I have the two cats that are registered in her name. We chose the cats together & they have been with me ever since she moved out. She has never contacted me to ask for the cats.

I have tried contacting her via email to ask her to change the registration details to my name, so I can get the microchips put in my name, have the full medical history for them at my vets etc. She’s been ignoring my emails and my vets can’t do anything without her agreement. I am convinced she is doing this out of spite (she’s been very spiteful in other ways since we split up).

I need to get them switched – if one of them were to be injured and taken by someone else to a vet then the vet wouldn’t be able to contact me. I can’t even get the microchip numbers & the microchip company won’t help. I can't even get the records updated with my current address.

For a woman that claims to be an animal lover she is being a cunt. So my question is, should I get a solicitor involved? Maybe a letter to the vet practice where she works (which is where the cats are registered)? Yours views would be appreciated.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:39, 119 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning girls. Who's going to Hull?
I went to the Mardi Gras this weekend, there were the usual "Christian" demonstrators with megaphones and signs. Anyway, one sign gave a list of those Hullbound.
Fornicators, drunkards, sodomites, homosexuals, gangster rappers, immodest women, immoral movie watchers, Darwinists, feminists, atheists, abortionists, Socialist pot smokers, dirty dancers, gamblers, masturbators, racists, Cameron, Clegg, Labour voters, abusers, adulterers, evolutionists, Liberals, terrorists, and prosperity preachers. Whatever the fuck the last one is.
So how many boxes can you tick? I make it 10 1/2.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 9:50, 219 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, I have to clear my desk today, because I'm moving offices next week
Same department, new job, with a bit of my old job thrown in.
More responsibility, but less challenging if you ask me.
MUCH less B3ta-ing, I suspect.

A change is as good as a lottery win, so they say.
What's changing for you?

Alt q: who the FUCK are you looking at?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 9:13, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

sickies, I need some advice
Already a few long-term sick people post on this board. The past few years I've been knackered, recently diagnosed with sarcoidosis, which is an incurable autoimmune disease (it might go away though). My question for the sickies is this.

How do you make it through the day with constant pain/depression etc.?

P.S. I already expect the MTFU comments.
(knackerz is skinning up, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 5:47, 107 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone around?
No?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 0:19, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is amazing
Three hours ago I was homeless. Now I'm in an amazingly picturesque place on the North East coast in a hotel with a sea view and as much food and cigarilloes a man could ask for. We're going surfing tomorrow. Cowabunga indeed. I'm just a little happy.

What's the best 'saved from the jaws of death at the last minute' experience you've had?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 17:38, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Have you got your zombie apocalypse survival needs sorted? What will you do when zombigeddon hits?
Alt Q: how many times could you punch psychochomp before your hand hurt?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:33, 147 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've got a date this evening.
We're going for a meal and maybe a few drinks.

Q: What was the last date you went on and was it a winner?

Alt Q: It's transfer deadline day, if you could recruit a professional sports-star (or musician for you non-sporty types) to help you in your job, who would you want and why?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:12, 159 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What are you views on party games?
I'm planning my next Halloween party and I wanted to include some party games to make it slightly different from a regular house party. But I'm also very aware of how much enforced fun sucks donkey cock.

What party games have you played in your adult life? Were they full of b3tan-like whimsy or did they make you want to pull your own eyeballs out. I fully expect Monty to veto this entire question.

Drinking games don't count, I'm never playing that stupid Fuzzy Duck again.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:17, 272 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lunchtime thread
I am mostly eating cold pizza, drinking orange squash and watching SSN transfer deadline. What are you consuming for lunch?

Alt Q: Any lunch time errands you have to do today?

Alt Alt Q: Buy lunch or make your own?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 13:07, 222 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh look b3ta are in the news
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10520487
They compare us to 4Chan and interview rob.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 12:21, 49 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So,
I hear that you're there hearing that I'll be here, soon.

Word spreads faster and wider than a Nun it seems!
(ThePope, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 11:23, 160 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Can't be arsed waiting any longer
InFest, as ever, was fantastic. I had my socks thoroughly blown off by Memmaker and [x]-rx, as well as seeing appropriately epic sets by Rotersand and Project Pitchfork. I witnessed some truly ridiculous outfits and some quite astonishing hair, was impressed by certain people's ability to dance at all in absurd platform boots and was stunned by most people's abject lack of rhythm. I saw enough police to occupy Paris (bad example) but thankfully missed the tear-gas they had to distribute amongst the intelligentsia of the EDL. I was at various points offered cocaine, ketamine, MDMA, base, weed, speed, ecstasy and most disturbing of all, JD & Relentless, and I stand by my decisions as regards which I took and which I refused. I slept about 6 hours total between Friday morning and yesterday, and today I feel ludicrously unmotivated as I sit at my desk, watching the clock avidly.

I also lost to a girl at table football, was asked to teach an Australian lady how to Tango and was challenged to an arm-wrestle by a lesbian.

How was everyone else's weekend?

Alt Q, as Kitty has already asked that one, in honour of the ludicrous haircut which I got on Friday - what would your ideal hairdo look like, if work constraints, practicality and time consumption were no object?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:15, 199 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

well, enough of that bollocks
Did you all waste your bank holidays lamentably? Tell me something interesting, funny or horrific that happened to you this weekend.

I made a mistake with my pill and had to go and get the emergency contraceptive. The pharmacist judged me, insinuated that I was a liar and then charged me £22.99 for the privilege. It's expensive being a slag apparently.

But I had a really good steak last night and bought Lego Harry Potter so I'm happy again. I'm so easily pleased.

Sorry for the thread stepping Darth! I f5ed just before posting and everything!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:24, 159 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Roota was right.
www.b3ta.com/questions/write.php?parent=843307

Hate me or whatever. No more flouncing or miserableness. Going back and reading all my shit...I squirmed in my chair.
As it is, the last couple months I got a new job and got promoted, and "Roger" was me trying to be that new persona.

To those of you I offended, I'm really sorry - genuinely.
Just seemed like this QOTW was the time to get it off my chest.
(nolongernuts, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 4:41, 128 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

gosh.
where is everybody?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 30 Aug 2010, 9:46, 57 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sunday...
This pretty much sums up my day... Warning: Link contains gratuitous blood splatter

Not even the appearance of that one out of the Cheeky Girls (who was seeing that MP) on my train this morning cheered me up - how I envy that pigeon - what's left of him...

Q: Sh*te Sunday? What should I include with my roast dinner (not pigeon btw) to cheer me up?
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 16:39, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Have some Sunday fluffy!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4 - Slow loris!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 12:48, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)