As promised new tattoo in replies.
I'm a happy bunny.
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Oct 2010, 16:45, 58 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning Wankers
How are you today?

I've been for a haircut.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Oct 2010, 11:49, 31 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I can't wait forever Jeff.
Watching embarrasing bodies and feeling better about myself.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:46, 181 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm so envious of you people going to the bash
There, I've said it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:03, 25 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sorry to thread stomp, but this has to be the best review of a pub ever.
"Full of butch, hairy, predatory lesbians. If you have a half decent girlfriend, don't take her here; she'll be leered at by these vile 'women'."

Oddly enough this is a description of the bash venue in two weeks time. Could be interesting...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:38, 81 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

good news everybody
WEll, it's a sad day. My O2 account stopped working... a mere 8 years after I left the company that gave it to me and has been kindly paying for it ever since.

In fairness, I didn't rack up very high fees while I was living abroad, and I do hope I brought a smile to someone's face when peering through the accounts (loughton, woodford, Gabon, chigwell, Tanzania...).

Oh, and I was in a restaurant this morning when a woman of, shall we say, generous proportions, broke her chair by sitting on it.

The universe gives and it takes away. What have been your ups and downs this week?
(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:32, 32 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I Did A Stupid Thing Friday!
Right, so - I have signed up to do the following over 7 days next year:

1) Climb Snowdon
2) Cycle to Scafell Pike
3) Climb Scafell Pike
4) Cycle to Ben Nevis
5) Climb Ben Nevis

And all in aid of Help for Heroes - yeah, yeah, whatever.

The next 10 months of training will be fun. What other stupid things should I sign up to do next year?

Alt Q: Tell me about your amazing acts of heroism/endurance/laziness...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:15, 174 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Somebody start a new thread ffs.
Question: yeah whatever!

Alt q: Who fancies a shag?
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:34, 225 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

STOP EVERYTHING
Battered, have you got your laptop back?

If yes, then b3ta can rejoice at the fact people are still kind and honest and lovely and made of fluff.

If not, then this is why people (Monty) are bitter and twisted cynical cunts

ALT Q: Have you ever lent someone something that they never gave back? I lent my friend the Batman box set and I see it on her shelf whenever I go round and she INSISTS she bought it the lying cow
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 14:06, 339 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

WEEEEEEEEEEKEEEEEENNNNNND?
Mine:

1) tonight, pop home and see my wondrous professionally-cleaned flat
2) go to ex's and look after child overnight
3) look after child in morning and then take her out, to spend a few hours with my mother and her 'partner' (3rd time my mother has met my daughter, 1st time without Cruella breathing down our necks
4) go for best pizza I've had outside Italy
5) couple of hours embarrassing silence with lezzas
6) cousin's wedding party in Clapham
7) vomiting
8) pleasant Sunday spent with "young lady"
9) PROFIT
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:37, 147 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Apparently
Roota's up the duff. I can't think of a more frightening combo than a bastard half scouse half jock hybrid. With that in mind then, what should we name the little blighter?

Alt Q: if you were to purge yourself away from facebook completely, taking all your lovely personal "content" with you, what would you miss most?
( djtrialprice, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:36, 108 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Jeff hasn't been on today
his "date" must have killed him.

How you would hide a body?
Answers of "in your vagina" are DULL AND VOID

LUNCH! ^DINGDING_DING
I've had a tuna baguette I am skipping off to the shop in a minute to buy sweeties :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:27, 77 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

And now for something completely different
I'm off to Milton Keynes barge trip in a few minutes, but I didn't want to leave without giving you something to think about:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11492897

Really? C'mon, they had to do a study for that? Don't they have eyes on their faces?

Anyway, go, talk to me about stupid things that are stupid and the stupid people that talks about them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 11:45, 132 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Fuck that shit.
Help me out with today's project.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:53, 82 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

When you're walking through the city
you see things at the side of the road, like broken umbrellas and discarded dummies. Some of the things are a little more odd, like single shoes. How would you lose a single shoe when you were out? Would you not notice you only had one shoe?

Yesterday when I was walking home there was a shirt sleeve at the side of the road. A full sleeve, from shoulder to cuff. I can't even think of a reason that might be there.

What's the oddest thing you've seen lying around? Tramps and dead squirrels don't count.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 10:19, 171 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That's a little depressing for a friday Aber!
When was the last time you laughed until you cried?

Alt Q: Put your name in here (b3ta or otherwise) and post the results, tis worth a snigger.

My Real Name - JAM MAN PANACHE HASN'T
B3ta Name - ITCHING CASTRATIONS

Better TGB?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 9:19, 164 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Ayayayay!
We went to a curry house in Rusholme yesterday. I'm in so much pain today... Clearly I'm too weak and lazy to do this stupid diet on my own, so I'm starting with a personal trainer from the 18th (they are expensive!)

I'm so disappointed with myself. I've managed to lose 8kg and then put them back, and then lose again a few, and put them back again. All in 4 months or so.

Why are you disappointed? With what do you need help?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 8:26, 188 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyone up for a late night thread?
Garage is flooded so no drumming for me. Instead I have been listening to lots of music and had forgotten how much I loved Guns N Roses. Particularly the drum intro for this song.

youtu.be/VlzptZ9wieQ

What are you lot up to?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 22:51, 35 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

i'm hijacking b3ta just to say
Fuck you Jeff you massive cunt I've just spent 3 hours watching pawn stars and ill probably go watch another three hours worth.
That is all.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 21:41, 24 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have no question
just say something interesting

or make some shit up

/anarchy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 20:36, 127 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Shit!
Just off the phone to my folks and apparently there was a big accident back home involving a girl I went to school with. She was being driven to hospital to be induced into labour by her boyfriend when a car plowed head on into them on a roundabout. They had to be cut out and she's now in a coma and the baby was stillborn. Her bloke's got extensive leg injuries. I've been having a bit of a down week but life has a way of putting things into perspective. *philosophical*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 20:35, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Dear Miraclefish's neighbour's girlfriend:
Next time, why not try not reversing into his motorcycle and causing £3,375 worth of damage by looking behind the car, you dozy fucking wench.

Bah.

Alt Q. What paintful death would you like to inflict on insurance companies who take seven weeks to get back to you and inform you that, yes, your lovely motorcycle is proper fucked and no, you can't have any money yet because they've misplaced the paperwork?

Alt Q2. What additional revenge would you plan if they still attempted to cancel the insurance and collect the hire bike despite having done fuck all about your broken bike?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 17:54, 109 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Never mind what Heather from Eastenders is checking Craigslist for, write me some /offtopic slashfic starring Bert and WBM.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:24, 96 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Missed Connections
I check the craigslist page a lot, not necessarily hoping to see something about me, but I like to read them.

So, who are you missing in your life? Who would you like to get to know? Is there a time you regret not telling that person you totally dig them??
Tell them here!!

Also, did someone ever reach out to you?
Once in college I came out to my car and there was a single red rose under my windshield wiper. Still boggled by that 7 years later.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:07, 340 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

you know you've been on b3ta too long when..............

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:40, 106 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Tell me how you met your loved ones. (partners)
I'm in a nice place at the moment.

I mean mentally and not my office.
( girlinthehole, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 14:12, 224 replies, latest was 15 years ago)