Even newer thread, but with a slightly more accurate grasp of the definition of 'awesome'.
Weekend plans?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:59, 182 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long thread has degenerated into talk of breasts and racism
Tell me your best thing about racism.

Alt: tell me your worst thing about breasts.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:58, 42 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread of awesomes.
Tell me something awesome (and true) about yourself.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:52, 298 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You know it's bad when 11am rolls around and you've failed to do any work at all
My old car died last weekend and I was very sad to see her go to the big scrap heap in the sky. But what inanimate objects are you stupidly attached to?

ALT: Best woodland creature? I'll throw my lot in with the stoat.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:05, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

'You know it's bad when....'
My brother stopped to tie up his bootlace once, and whilst he was doing so someone tossed him a coin, thinking he was a Homeless.

a) ahahahahahah
b) oh dear

Tell me about times when, just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. Please note, I am looking for lighthearted comical yarns only here. I couldn't give a toss about the time three of your grandparents croaked in the space of a week- and they didn't find Grandma Joan for three weeks by which time she'd melted into the radiator. I don't give a shit. In fact, it's giving me a 'lazy lob on'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:49, 161 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You know it's bad when a colleague, apropos of nothing, suggests you make a formal complaint against your boss.
I am 31, I have a 2.1, I have formal marketing qualifications, I have excellent references from previous bosses. My current bosses treat me like a child, use insulting language to me, mark my work down as incorrect on a whim and have removed flexi time from me.

I regularly work over my contractual hours, apparently this shows that I am ineffective as I need to take longer to get through my work which is then marked down on a whim. This is the only instance I have known where working unpaid overtime is a bad thing.

They are cunts and seem to think that 'training' boils down to reading a procedure and following a poorly laid out file.

I am trapped.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 7:39, 124 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

when are posters too old?
Or hammered?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 1:41, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

when are you too old for posters?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 21:03, 170 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

ARGH BT SHITCUNTS
This morning I get a text saying an engineer won't be calling as I'm already wired up so I don't need to take the day off. A bit fucking late by then, and they must have known all along. Then the BT Hub and phone never turned up and I have to spend twenty minutes navigating their phone system - along the way being told I have no order - to discover it's delayed until the 11th. AND YOU COULDN'T FUCKING CALL EMAIL OR TEXT???? Nnnnngh.

What's a worse word than shitcunts?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 18:41, 132 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

News of the world is closing
Sunday will be it's last edition, looks like internet bullying works.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 16:40, 156 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

If no one else is going to...
what is your opinion on regifting? Like some of you I'm sure, my more mainstream friends and relatives have no idea what my interests are therefore end up with "alternative gifts" e.g. table books on body art, banksy prints... so many banksy prints, vouchers etc. I tend to regift some of it throughout the year. Is it scabby or fair enough?

ALT: Best/worst gift received?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 15:40, 77 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Next Thread
Let's talk about drugs. It's fair to say the War On Drugs isn't working, that something at the core ethos of drug control needs to be changed. Do you do any sort of drug reguarly? I think, looking at alchole and ciggerettes, and the amount of how many clinicly addicted people there are, that legalising of other addictive drugs isn't the awnser. They're cramping down on codine based OTT products, I've been banned from a few phamacists even though it's part of my regular drug regime and have showed them proof... so I just make sure I don't get banned from other places by buying from different ones each week. I think it would be worst for a stronger drug, such as Morphine.

But saying that, what's currently going on doesn't really work eaither. There are ways of getting Control Drugs too, such as the fact that you can get prescriptions online in the UK (never done it, but would like to try it, to see the process work or not, but wouldn't risk it in case they speak to my GP and I get banned).

Do you take drugs reguarly? My story with drugs is pretty much the same as the TV show 'House'. What's you view on the whole thing?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:54, 171 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lunch up y'all
What romantic things have you done for someone or had done to you? This is no way designed to inspire me to think of something to do on my wedding anniversary

Alt: Flightless birds, sweet throw backs to a simpler time or evolution fodder?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:37, 220 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Question of the Week vote-o-matic
IT IS HERE

THAT IS ALL
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:23, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The heavens just opened here in Weston.
You know, the proper kind of rain that it's ace to listen to, as long as you're somewhere warm and dry.
What non-musical sounds do you love to hear? Minus points for "Do you fancy a pint/joint/blowjob?"

Alt: what exactly is fizzy pop doing to my insides?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 10:51, 123 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The idea of drinking tap water out of a tea mug makes me feel physically sick.
One of my staff is doing this very thing RIGHT NOW. I find it genuinely repulsive.

MORE NEWS AS IT HAPPENS.

Speaking of news, do you reckon anyone will go to prison for the NOTW phone-tapping shit? I don't. I think they should execute that ranga woman, she looks like a right cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 9:49, 183 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The God of the Poor
My very short story The God of the Poor is now online at Daily Science Fiction.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 9:28, 9 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning team
Entertain me whilst I eat my Weetabix.

Alt:I'm off for Tapas tonight, but what is the best Tapas?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 8:24, 80 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

i just feel like i have to tell you how much i love alec baldwin
I mean really, it's less of me obsessing over him and more of if I see him in something I think "gawd he is so fucking hawt, I want him to touch me"
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 2:06, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Late night disco?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWoom1gpNfo

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OswTmc2bZYQ
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 22:05, 184 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Jeff smells of bum aids.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 19:03, 144 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

£166m for the next euro millions.
What would you do with the money? I think if I was a phsycic or a time traveler, this'll be the one moment I choose to reveal myself.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:37, 92 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

How were you disciplined as a child?
if applicable, how do you discipline your kids?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 16:33, 157 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Bloody hell, England have made a blinding start in the cricket





No? OK. Today I learned that Labyrinthitis is nothing to do with golden mullets, bonkers codpieces or commanding an army of unconvincing Goblins; it's all about inner ear function and induces vertigo. What ridiculously-named diseases have you suffered from, or would wish upon your fellow B3tans?

Please feel free to be as creative and vindictive as possible. Extra points will be given for Bowie references.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 14:58, 190 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New message stolen from my own facebook feed
so apologies if you've already seen it.

I just 'picked up' after my dog while we were out playing, and I went to get my hand sanitiser out of my bag. Of course the bastard thing goes off all over my hand.

Is this premature sanitisation, or am I just too sexy for everything?

Alt: lunch. It's about that time, I suppose.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 13:02, 205 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread, you gang of knobs
We're all going to drown in the shitness.
Let's have a thread of good things.
Alt: So what?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 11:43, 128 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Poetry corner.
In tribute to my own, soul-baring, heart-wrenching 'emotional hardcore' inspired musings in the last thread, write a really fucking bad poem and post it here.

Points will be awarded for the most wince-enducing, arse-clenchingly bad hackneyed dross.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 10:31, 166 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello shoes.
I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to stand on you again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 8:27, 142 replies, latest was 15 years ago)