Fuck that shit
This is funny www.theregister.co.uk/2011/09/12/acne_cure_app/ as I assume some of you are spotty.

So which is worse, never seeing Die Hard or never seeing Top Gun, one of my friends hadn't seen either, that's just plain wrong.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:23, 168 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I cannot be bothered to go through the weekend's nonsense,
so sorry if this has been covered but either
a) well done Al for running your race, hope you won, or
b) HA HA you dropped out with a hernia HA HA

I read this morning that some little girl was on 'The X Factor' on the weekend singing a cover of 'Beverley Knight's Piece of my Heart'. I'm pretty sure the Janis Joplin version I have - the Janis Joplin who died in 1970 - is not even the original but I may be wrong. It seems that in true 'The X Factor' fashion, Beverley Knight really has 'made the song her own' eh? Or the homosexuals who write for 'Metro' are ignorant cretins who can't even work a Google for shit, eh?

In other news, Stunned poster is a seriously good cook, and my pal Yeti has been throwing up blood for two days and they don't know why.

What's in your diary for this week?
Alt: highlight of your weekend (LOLing about '9/11' aside)?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 8:20, 188 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So it's the tenth anniversary of the American attacks
Where were you when you first heard about it?

I was sitting on a wall in Kirkstall, Leeds, waiting for a bus and feeling shite because I'd just had a filling.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 11 Sep 2011, 19:05, 163 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I would just like to appologise for 24 hour clinical depression.
They say depression is a very selfish desease, that the person who has it can't see beyond their own lives, and how it effects everyone they came in contact with. It's a horrible thing that lead me to eat half an entire defrosted banoffee pie, for non celebratory reasons. I don't ever wish to go through that again.

Anyway, I just bought the new Starfox 64 3DS game, and it'll be fun to play on the tube while going into work. Plus an album comes out next monday (not tomo) that I'm really looking forward too. Plus I saw a really nice flat yesterday that I think I probably want to buy. I have my whole life ahead of me, even though I'm going to make umami pizza again tonight for dinner, while catching up on Hollyoaks. So, some girl missed an opertunity to date me, it ain't no ting but a chicken wing. Besides, that leaves me for a chance to join in the mass orgy at Swipies at the end of the month... and if I think about it, it's not really fair to take me off the market just yet.

Oh man, I was unhappy for 24 hours, it wasn't very nice at all, I don't know how you lot with terminal grumpy-heads do it, it's much better to be happy with life. Yup, drinking a yop or buying a video game is deffo much better than being clinicly depressed, you lot with that should try that instead.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 11 Sep 2011, 16:13, 26 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Hello sexy B3tans
It's Sunday morning and I'm still slightly spackered. I'm very much open to suggestion at the moment, so I'll do whatever the first three people to reply suggest* How is your Sunday going and what do you have planned?

Alt: What's your favourite board game?




*pure unadulterated lies
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sun 11 Sep 2011, 9:42, 30 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

OH GOD WHY HASN'T SHE REPLIED TO MY TEXT !?!?!?! IT'S BEEN 10 MINUTES NOW !!!! OH GOD SHE MUST HATE ME !!!!
So, I saw an awesome flat today, really awesome. I like it a hell of a lot.

Generic Afternoon Thread: What are YOU up too this evening?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 10 Sep 2011, 18:02, 22 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's friday morning, and I'm on a mothercunting train!
I have twelve hours in which to give London the spanking of its life. What do you have to do today? I bet it's not as fun as what I have planned.

Alt: who killed OT?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 10 Sep 2011, 8:11, 48 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Och Aye Benders!
What have I missed this week?

I'm shattered.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:30, 125 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

This is the most funny thing I've ever seen (slightly NSFW)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TYxqp9e3iI&feature=related

It's like her body from the top of the bum upwards is something seprate from the rest of her. It's a human lava lamp.

I reckon the appeal to that kind of dancing is that the bloke imagines laying down or standing next to her with their willy out and doesn't have to do anything. That's so lazy.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 18:30, 12 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Monty has killed /offtopic
Anyone, going to be getting up for the Rugby world cup this weekend? No...well what are you up to you miserable shower of shits?

ALT: Perfect weekend

Alt: Guess the total weight of /OT and win some Opal fruits
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 15:08, 91 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I want to kill myself out of boredom.
How should I go about it?
( Kroney, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 15:05, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New thread begun, due to dullness and gaiety of the last one.
Answer me this: why the fuck isn't 'fiery' spelt 'firey'?

WHYYYYYYYY?

Alt: I can't think of one. Make one up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 13:53, 104 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

WITH A CAR!!
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/8748722/Reece-Witherspoon-hit-by-car-while-jogging.html
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 11:18, 203 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Tomorrow I am doing something I never thought I ever would.
I am going to South London.

I’ve got my passport ready, I’ve had my jabs and I’m ready to go. To be honest I’m shitting myself. What if the natives come at me with spears and put me in a big pot? What if I’m the next Damilola Taylor? And is it just me, but whenever I hear or read that boy’s name, a snippet of the Kinks’ classic ‘Lola’ plays in my head?

Do you have any hints and tips to keep me alive in ‘The Anus of the South East’?

Alt: What devil-may-care acts of derring-do are YOU up to this weekend?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 9:50, 18 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Jesus SHit!!
HOLY CRAP!

HUZZAH it's finally Friday. This wank of a week is almost finally over.

How the devil are you load of bumders?

Alt: what is the best deal for a Kinect at the moment? I have the Xbox, I just *need* the Kinect and a couple of games for the weekend.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 7:51, 139 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Why's it so quiet today?
Anyone around? I'm assuming everyone is doing something exciting, so I'm not going to waste my brain coming up with a good question and just say "hey, what you guys up to this weekend?"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 19:49, 54 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Anyone else looking forward to the new Alan Partridge autobiography?
alt: No autographs!
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 16:13, 24 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Fuck that shit
Lets have a nice thread about nice things.

Tell me the best thing you can think of about Kittums or rainbows or Cake.

Alt: fuck you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 8 Sep 2011, 15:39, 33 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Out of beige, taupe and faun, what is your favourite neutral shade?
Alt: mushroom?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 15:06, 76 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well, this afternoon is a bit slow. However, I have a small bag of Quavers.
Favourite crisp flavour would have to be Onion Rings for me. From Sainsburys. You?

Alt: Is there a dish that is ALWAYS on your Indian order?

Alt alt: Roti or Poratha?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 14:31, 29 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

As it's lunch time..
I went for a meal about ten years ago at an Italian place near Brentford for my brother-in-laws birthday. At the end of the meal a few people started buying rounds of sambuca shots for the table (around 16 people). After a couple of these we decided to join in and buy a round. This was no the smartest decision ever. Still love sambuca though.

What's the most you ever spent on a meal out, where was it and was it worth it?

Alt: Mosh pits. A great laugh or complete waste of a gig ticket?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 12:36, 183 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning off-topic-qotw-ers
The new QOTW vote is up.

IT IS HERE
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 11:11, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

It appears to be newthreado'clock
and hence here one is.

As the kiddies are starting school around this time, tell me your best and worst experiences at school /OT

Alt:
Favourite place to go boozing
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 10:49, 192 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Is it considered a threadstomp if it's 4 hours later?
I don't think so.

Today is my last day in this job, and my last day of work before I get married. Exciting stuff.

What have you got to be excited about?

alt: apparently we should be able to see a supernova this week. Does this interest you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 8:44, 170 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I appear to haunt these forums in the early hours of the morning. Like a security guard keeping watch for any suspicious, non b3tan like postings
So my question is this:
what weird and wonderful weapon/protective device should a B3ta security guard have to keep the members in check? E.g. Giving Chompy a rape alarm that goes off constantly to warn us of his approach.

Alt: there is no alt cos we all know that it's going to end up with everyone talking about lunch and calling each other gay, pedo, wanker, rapists :)
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 8 Sep 2011, 4:31, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well I'm not tired at all so there!

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 23:56, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New thread with Cavy's permission
The five most significant songs in your life please. The songs that have changed your life - not necessarily your favourites.

Bobby has answered in the thread below but too quickly. This requires reflection and insight.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 18:55, 119 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I have my first ever house viewing in an hour
what should I check for while I'm looking?

alt: what is your imaginary ideal house like?

/middle aged
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 18:02, 26 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Niiiice...
*Channels the spirit of Chompy* uk.news.yahoo.com/abandoned-2-weeks-starving-dogs-indonesia-eat-owner-142541221.html

Tragedy, or just desserts for the dog-starving idiot?

Alt: what would you not eat, ever, no matter what?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 7 Sep 2011, 16:06, 142 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Where's my new thread Bobby you fackin caaaaaaant!
I'm in Croydon today, what an utter, utter shit hole. Tell me about where you grew up and why it was shit or awesome.

ALT: What are you scared of you woofters?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 14:36, 223 replies, latest was 14 years ago)