Well, this board is alive and jumping right now.
I'm going to have lunch at Tayyabs tomorrow with one of my work colleagues after attending a rather dull sounding seminar.

Riddle me this folks, why is it, that no matter how hard you shake, tug, pull or squeeze, as soon as you put your dick away after having a wee a tiny little drop manages to make it's way out?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 16:27, 116 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Go on
Let's see how many we can keep alive at the same time.

What makes you stressed? I can't even think of all what I have to do in the next 3 weeks; I don't think I'll even have time to spend the rest of my holidays.

Alt. How do you relax?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 14:51, 111 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

On a similar topic...
Great British Bake Off final tonight.

Hands up if you can't chuffin' wait.





Oh, just me then.

And why were the two young lads kicked off together?? We want Italian justice for them - bring them back now.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 14:46, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm going to threadstomp
because I can, I have very little time to spend here and I want.

So, last Saturday we started moving to Worthing. We moved most of the furniture and quite a few boxes that have been closed for almost a year. It was hard work, and it was a very hot day, so we ended up very sweaty and smelly.

Then we realized we hadn't brought any towels, change of clothes, soap... nothing, and we wanted to sleep in Worthing, but we didn't even have sheets.

So, almost deciding to go back to Redhill for the night, we opened a couple more boxes before calling it a day. And there they were: a couple of beach towels! And soap! Even shampoo! And look, what's that? Clean sheets! OMG! Clean underwear! And summer clothes!

You know that feeling of inmense happiness? It's like finding a well hidden treassure. It's like openning Christmas presents. I know it's silly, but each little discovery made me smile and dance around the house, specially when I realized we had enough for a shower and we didn't have to drive back to Redhill.

So, which little, silly thing has made you terribly happy lately?

Alt.: With all the moving I didn't get the chance to go to Monty's bash. Was it good? Did I miss a lot? (Monty, we still got your black pudding waiting for you!)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 14:32, 47 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Tedious thread is tedious
Being a bit "special". Own up OT. What is the silliest/stupidest/most unusual thing you have done?

ALT:
Snacks - what is best for a mid-afternoon bout of peckishness?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 13:58, 140 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

The NHS
Yesterday my wife collapsed on the street. We had to wait for over an hour for an ambulance. A&E were very good. My wife was admitted at 2.30pm, there was then an argument between the consultant in casualty and the hospital bed manager. My wife needs to care for our five week old daughter and so needed to be moved to the post natal ward. The bed manager refused, until I escalated it to the General Manager at St Mary's (Paddington). The bed manager finally relented at 11.15pm.

So my wife and baby were left in A&E for almost nine hours, surrounded by fighting drunks.

I have always admired the NHS until now.

So my question is when have you been let down by something or someone you'd previously admired?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:25, 174 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

One word for this man . . .
www.news.com.au/national/older-mums-are-selfish-and-self-centred/story-e6frfkvr-1226157800677


utter, utter prick.

Well Barry, thank you for tirade against the older (potential) Mum.
I'll bet you anything you like this asswipe has a lovely trophy wife at home, who could pop out babies for him while he worked his way up (down?) to obstetrics. Someone who makes sure his din-dins are on the table and irons his shirts for the next day, while he dispenses his own special brand of wisdom to the masses.

Life doesn't work that way for some of us . . . especially when we "are" the wife.
Strong words from a specialty that only knows how to perform two operations and has the medical nous of a chocolate biscuit.

He'd better not break anything while I'm on-call . . .


Thoughts?
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:45, 253 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning
How are we all today? I woken up at 5am with very bad stomach pains, which wasn't much fun. I think I've slept for about 3 hours altogether, so I'm not in the best mood this morning.

Alt: However, I have had a cracking breakfast, which has brought stopped the day being a total washout. When was the last time something simple helped to cheer you up?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:29, 177 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Evening Wankers.
How are you all this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:04, 290 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Leading on from PCs Daily Mail link earlier
Are paedophiles really the worst kind of criminals?
What about fraudsters that steal little old ladies pensions or people that own and sell other people as slaves?

I'm not suggesting paedophiles are nice people but logically shouldn't prisoners be disembowelling murderers and arsonists ahead of paedos?
( WormuIus, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:36, 104 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Amanda 'Foxy' knoxy will find out soon if her appeal has been succesful
But if you had to add an adjective to your name, what would it be?

Alt: me and the wife got together 10 years ago tomorrow, tell me about your first love?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 14:43, 156 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Just before the weekend I purchased the computer game version of Blood Bowl
If you don't know what this is, it's a game invented by Games Workshop which is a bit like American Football but with orcs and elves and other things that will make Monty think you're a bender.

As a young child I used to own a copy of the actual board games, but only one of my friends liked playing it. So we would play entire tournaments amongst ourselves but having about 8 teams each and taking it in turns to manage the different teams.

I don't really have a point to this story, I'm just making conversation.

I built a gate at the weekend, I can show you a picture if you like.

Tell me something you've done.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 12:43, 153 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Bizarrely James Hutchings' (who is a cunt) book has now garnered 2 reviews
http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Death-others-ebook/dp/B005Q8Q8DY/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_1

But the review slagging off the bad review only gives it one star, which would seem to me to be a strange thing to do if you're reviewing your own product.

Not that I'm suggesting that James Hutchings (who is a cunt) would review his own product to slag off another reviewer.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 11:39, 86 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'll just leave this here for Gonz : )
theberry.com/2011/09/29/i-dont-want-to-be-rude-but-your-tattoo-is-terrible-25-photos/weird-tattoos-4-2/
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 11:18, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

OW!
For fuck's sake. The sportsback gave out on Friday evening, leading to a weekend where I have slept for approx 7 hours. I am literally surviving on coffee at the moment.

How have you managed to injure yourself recently?

Alt:
Gossip from the MechaB@$h please
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 8:46, 203 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

A new thread!
as naked as the day is blue!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 20:50, 121 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So I hear you're all a bunch of drug-addled wankers who ruin social events for everyone else.
Care to respond to these allegations?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 14:03, 206 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So which one of you cunts has bored our Gonz?
b3ta.com/talk/7333970
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 2 Oct 2011, 13:06, 9 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Nice to meet you all at the bash
You were all perfectly charming and lovely, not like the people that attend /talk bashes.
I think I'm going to hang out here full time now with my new friends.
( WormuIus, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 11:04, 19 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

In the words of Kurt Cobain
I'm on a train, mm-hmm. Off to the metropolis where the streets are paved with dogshit, rioters and menkles. There I shall exchange money for accomodation, or a sap to the back of the head and my body dumped in the river - whichever seems easier to the brutal semi-literate savage I expect to encounter in that pit of greed and lawlessness.

Still, should I survive there'll be beer and good company and some tunes from DJ Boyce.

What are you up to this PM?

Alt: apparently my 30th birthday party was the best thrown for me, I wasn't there being on holiday in the US but all the attendees agreed it was brilliant. Ironically I was meeting people off the Internet. Your best birthday party? Best party you missed?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 1 Oct 2011, 14:05, 18 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Aww
B3ta. I love you.

Every last one of you spackers, benders, quenders, trolls, the mildly kinky and grammer nazis.

If you have recent clean STI results, I might let you bum me as a demonstration of my generous and good nature.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sat 1 Oct 2011, 11:05, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
. I know you don't care cos you're all english buyt I CARE and WE WON. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I am concentrating really hard on typikng right but think I MAY be failing a lil bit. I really shouldn't hogh a bottle of wine and extra sips of other stuff all to myself. byt I did.
Wow. *concentrates really super hard*.
When did you lot last win at something? I can't remember.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 1 Oct 2011, 8:55, 17 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

The time has come once more
summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father's come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends

*sniff*
( djtrialprice, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 23:33, 52 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Oi. Benders.
Anyone up for a quick game of iSketch?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 22:33, 42 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Friday evening
And I'm not out due to a WorkboresmeBatshit style incident on Wednesday.

I fell over my own dog. Twisted my left knee and broke my glasses. I'm not up to standing in the pub but I'm reading the painkillers with my second best glasses and they seem to say nothing about drinking.

As a question, I'd suggest "how big a spazzer have you ever been?" but this is O/T so it's a bit redundant.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 18:24, 155 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Can you lovely people of the internet settle a bet for me please?
What nationality of girl loves jizz the most?








( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 18:23, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So in a depressingly popularist move
the Tories are suggesting raising the speed limit to 80mph and have found a quarter of a billion pounds to let councils have weekly bin collections again.

What do people think about that then?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 14:32, 109 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Obvious thread is obvious
Who is what what/who this weekend? Those who cannot attend the Mech@Ba$h, what are you up to?

I'm hopefully having a pint with the one and only DG this afternoon after he has dropped the sweary one off at the train station. I will then be on babysitting duties this evening (red wine and the Sopranos)

Alt:
Fucking nice day innit? Many many scantily clad students wandering past our office.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:54, 104 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Gonz thinks that men wearing eye make up is effeminate
and that he needs to wash the gayness off his fists after he has battered the bent bastards. Views?

I, personally, do not feel this way about mascara on blokes and am quite happy for chaps to wear a bit of rouge.

So my question, I suppose, is what are your favourite items of ladies clothes that you like to get dressed up in?

Alt: Have you ever kept a ladies knickers afterwards?

Alt alt: Ladies, washing and ironing. Womens work or not so much?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 11:02, 152 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Sorry about that folks
As you were.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:24, 246 replies, latest was 14 years ago)