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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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All still too tired from B4shing to start a thread eh?
bastards...

Welcome to Monday, it's sunny outside with a chance of workplace misery.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:46, 181 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I've been out of the country for two weeks.
What have I missed?
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:48, Reply)
Fuck all.
A load of cunts talking shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:49, Reply)
I suspected as much.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:53, Reply)
Me

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:04, Reply)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:48, Reply)
Greetings.
Bash was good. I wasn't on my best form but it was lovely to see lots of charming people, including some who don't/hardly ever post any more.

I'm not going to be about much today, so hello and goodbye until later.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:49, Reply)
Hello, goodbye

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:49, Reply)
Fuck off Paul McCartney.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:50, Reply)
Stupid melty faced vegetarian cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:51, Reply)
'Oooooo' singing Scouse cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:51, Reply)
Fucking cripple-marrying 'died in '66 and was replaced by a lookalike' cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:02, Reply)
Are you 'saying hello and waving goodbye'?
Stomach pump lolz.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:50, Reply)
Fancy a pint?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:50, Reply)
Not of your special fish yoghurt, no.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:51, Reply)
After the bash?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 8:51, Reply)
Morning
No, just hungover as hell. Ugh.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:02, Reply)
I feel like I have a hangover too
Which would be OK if I had been drinking.

Cockbadgers
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:28, Reply)
What's Cockbadgers? Some kind of horrible Real Ale?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Most likely
My head is fucked in today, my guts are WOEing and I've got a shedload of work on.

Shiite
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:36, Reply)
At least it's Sunni outside.

LOL!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Morning
I didn't bash but I did get quite drunk and rather stoned at an excellent barbecue (top tip, invite a South African or two).

Workplace misery is on the cards as it's already hot in the office at 9am, it's going to be unbearable by the afternoon. So much for fixed air conditioning...
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:03, Reply)
Re top tip:
Is that so that if you run out of space on the grill, the Saffers will simply build an 'extension' using a few discarded tyres?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:07, Reply)
I believe they are raised on nothing but meat
and only cook indoors when they absolutely have to.

As such they bring loads of interesting stuff to a barbecue. Bacon and glacé cherry skewers for a start off, which works really well.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:26, Reply)
That sounds foul.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:30, Reply)
it's not
the sweetness of the cherry and the saltiness of the bacon blend deliciously. You have to make sure to get a bite of both.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:00, Reply)
I went for a curry at the Gurkha Chef in Winchester once.
My mother ordered a korma-esque chicken dish so sweet and bland it came with a glace cherry on top. I wondered if that was the chef subtly registering his scorn of whoever ordered such a gay dish.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:32, Reply)
My mate ended up in Needoos on Saturday
He GLESSed about it
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:33, Reply)
I was in there with 'Set your faces' poster not two weeks ago.
It's glesstastic - the food is nigh on as good as 'Yab's without the queueing - and actually the staff are friendlier.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:34, Reply)
He GLESStexted me especially

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Morning! happy but rather busy today.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:03, Reply)
*waves*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:04, Reply)
*waves*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Wotcha gorgeous

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Ooo! hello young man.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:08, Reply)
He-llo.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:09, Reply)
Morning sugar tits!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Morning sunshine.
How's life as a woman's gimp treating you?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Fine thanks, I left her sleeping like an angelic porpoise this morning
4 weeks to go...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:13, Reply)
Bless!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:19, Reply)
I'm back from my two weeks off only 73 emails Woooo
also foo fighters were amazing. A girl I went with said as we walked it, "oh my god it's amazing I love Milton Keynes" (she's not from Milton keynes)
(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:06, Reply)
Was she confused on ecstasy at the time?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:07, Reply)
Or blind?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Had she spent the previous 20 years chained up in a Turkish prison?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:08, Reply)
City Of Dreams boyce.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:17, Reply)

www.miltonkeynes.co.uk/news/columnists/gareth-from-the-office/mark_lancaster_fromthehouse_milton_keynes_a_real_city_of_dreams_1_2286673
"Often in the public consciousness, Milton Keynes is used as a byword for artifice and modernity. "
(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:20, Reply)
From the wholly unbiased 'Milton Keynes Citizen' site, I see.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Written by the wholly unbiased MP for Milton Keynes.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:30, Reply)
*consults dream interpretation book*
It says here if you dream about roundabouts and bland modern architecture that means you are a homosexual.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Owning a book about dream interpretation is worse.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:21, Reply)
In English, please.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:22, Reply)
*looks inside cover of book*
'This book belongs to a Mr P Chomp, MK nigga 4 life, 2009'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:23, Reply)
Stealing a book about dream interpretation is even worse.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:27, Reply)
No but she's from somewhere shit in the midlands.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Ah. All becomes clear.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:09, Reply)
That would be 'the midlands'

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:09, Reply)
Ow yiss.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Kipper tie?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:11, Reply)
She actually said "I love wilted greens!"

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:09, Reply)
I'm glad you managed to edit that, I was getting confused.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:10, Reply)
I'm like Sizzler!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:11, Reply)
The conscious Rasta dancehall artist?
You're not that like him.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:11, Reply)
We have different fathers.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:14, Reply)
Totally had a good time with your fiancee on saturday night.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:16, Reply)
He said likewise.
He said you got told off for giggling after lights out.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:18, Reply)
'pass it on!'

'She likes the classical guitar stylings of Julian Bream, pass it on'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Ha!
I'm sure Bose used to mention him in adverts in Q.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:13, Reply)
He's very talented. My old boy had a few of his platters back in't' day.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:21, Reply)
I have a dead classy t-shirt tan this morning

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Truckers arm?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Exactly, but without the hairy shoulders

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I hope you had a Yorkie.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:27, Reply)
That's more your area of expertise I believe

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Quality response.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:04, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:05, Reply)
I've had an odd weekend
Worked Saturday and Sunday but managed to get outside in the sun. On Saturday I went to our local Ambulance station and had a look round there with the kids, then down to the local fair thingy to be ripped off by gyppos. On Sunday the local Fire Station had a big open day and PC Rathband (moaty lols) was there too. Seemed like a very nice chap I thought. the kids got to sit in the fire engines and squirt the hoses and got plastic fire helmets (strikethrough city here). They also shit themselves when they did the chip pan fire demo when they drop water onto it.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Was it a 1970s themed fire station?
Who on earth has a 'chip pan' these days?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:37, Reply)
I think its the best demo they have
They also chopped the roof off a car and stuff
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:37, Reply)
My car went to the scrap heap in the sky on Saturday :(
almost nine years of loyal service
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Working class people?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:42, Reply)
How beastly

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:45, Reply)
So basically you had an emergency services themed weekend.
Next weekend are you taking the kids to casualty for the day, followed by the morgue?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Yes. Yes I am

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:55, Reply)
He could have let the kids watch an episode of Casualty and a re-run of London's Burning.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:55, Reply)
If they're reading this, that's their birthday treat ruined.
I hope you're jolly well pleased with yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:56, Reply)
It's worse than you think Monty.
Sporty was hoping that the TA were going to do a demo, instead he is downloading every episode of Soldier Soldier for his kids to 'enjoy'.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Yeah, "cheers" Jeff
Next weekend I'm going to throw them both off the pier so they can see the lifeboats
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Make sure you tell Jeff about the chips and beer

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:00, Reply)
No, I'm going to keep it a secret now he has spoiled Christmas

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:00, Reply)
Sorry Sporty.
You could get the kids a Robson and Jerome CD.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:05, Reply)
hahaha
I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but there is a new pier in Weston Super Mare.

Gaz b3th, she is always going there. She'll give you all the details.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:01, Reply)
I dont think you have mentioned it before, no

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Well there is, and b3th is the person with the details.
She is especially well versed in the quality of the chips and she knows the full bar tariff too.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Morning you
I was reading an article this weekend about good places to visit in Britain, and it said Clevedon pier was really good. You should try it.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:03, Reply)
What did you do on the weekend?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Oh man, I went to the pier! It was awesome, and I went on all the rides, and I had chips, and beer, and.....
nah, just kidding. Three boot sales, one pub quiz, watched the tennis, went to the supermarket.

My life rocks!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Oh, how I almost believed you went on the pier.
Not.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Speaking of kids
are we allowed to ask?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:03, Reply)
He likes to keep his noncing secret.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:04, Reply)
Thank you for asking.
So, so good to see mine again. We had a right old fucking laugh, and lots of cuddles. It was amazing. We read 'Cat in the Hat', made a camp out of blankets and chairs and did drawings etc. Simply wonderful.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:13, Reply)
GLESS

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Why didn't more people take the piss out of FreeFair for being an absolute spastic in the last thread?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Timing
He'll have to come on here between the hours of 8am and 4.30pm, Monday to Friday, if he wants me to take the piss out of his spasticity.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Most people were asleep I think.
I was going to rip the piss out of his bike but when he said it was a Halfords Special I just felt too sorry for him.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Can you paraphrase please?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:55, Reply)
I went out for 5 hours without suncream during the day
now I'm sunburnt waaaa
(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:59, Reply)
I like it
Concise
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Misery is fucking right.
I've got computers for spastics this morning, followed by a shitload of cleaning, and every item of clothing I own is making me look like your missus today.

That wasn't a pop at your missus, by the way. I'm just implying that the extra stone I'm carrying has been joined by a spare half-stone, and I look like I'm about ready to drop twins oh woe is me beakering emo blog.

In other news, morning everyone! Hope we're all bright and chirpy and full of the joys of spring summer.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 9:59, Reply)
My non-hangover hangover is starting to abate
This is good.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:00, Reply)
I had a Smirnoff Ice last night at the pub quiz
and mr b3th nagged at me for driving home. I know I'm a lightweight, but I'm not that bad.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:01, Reply)
I'm not surprised, I hear he's very fond of that Morris Oxford.
Did he make you wear driving gloves and a flat cap before he'd let you behind the Bakerlite wheel?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)
We were in my car, actually, mr clever clogs.
but he does keep banging on about a Triumph he used to own...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:20, Reply)
Oh yeah? I like old Triumphs, what did he have?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Dolomite Sprint
He said it would see off anything on the road and twanged knicker elastic at forty yards.

Of course, we are talking about a long time ago. Standards were lower then...

EDIT: and knicker elastic was a lot stronger.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:23, Reply)
One of the first sports saloons, the Sprint. Triumph beat BMW to it by a good few years.
They're still capable of keeping up with modern traffic, with a bit of tweaking.

Ugly, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Are you absolutely certain
he wasn't simply nagging at you for drinking a repulsive peasant drink - and in public, too? Maybe he was nagging at you for driving home in case someone saw that a Smirnoff Ice drinker lived at his house.

Next time, park round the corner, OK?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Bobbys doing a crash course in drink driving at the moment, you should gaz him for the details

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)
BOOM BOOM

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Morning all
my weekend mostly involved setting up a second monitor downstairs, so now my sitting room looks like Tony Stark's workshop. I also sat around in my pants playing video games a lot.

Kroney: Smashing online stereotypes since 1980. Ladies, please form a queue, there's plenty to go around as I haven't exercised since I was 14, stop pushing at the back there.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:13, Reply)
I read that as 'Tony Hart's workshop'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Ah, I see where you went wrong.
Tony Stark's workshop has banks and banks of monitors. Tony Hart's workshop has banks and banks of crayon drawings sent in by 6 year old flids.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Fuck off, he said mine was the best he's ever seen
But that I shouldn't tell anyone what he did to me or he'd kill my parents
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:21, Reply)
He wasn't talking about your picture, though, was he Rory.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)
Even as a 6 year old it was the talk of the school

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)
But did he send it back to you? No. He didn't.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)
It's bad form once it's covered in jizz

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)
No work for me today.
Hurrah!
My flatmate moved out yesterday but left me with a million types of tea, a full length mirror, a lovely letter saying how good it was to live with me and a bottle of absinthe.
I might drink it and go for a walk in the sunshine.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Bad Manners lolz

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:16, Reply)
Lip up!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:22, Reply)
I hope you take the opportunity to walk around naked
and wank in every room again.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)
I still live with other people and I don't think they'd like it too much.
One of them is creepy and old and makes my skin crawl so I'd really rather not be naked anywhere near him.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)
He'd fucking love it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)
I wasn't aware you and Monty had moved in together

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:44, Reply)
Ha!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:47, Reply)
*golf claps*

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:49, Reply)
I have to concede that was good.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:54, Reply)
now, did he say how good it was to live with "you and a bottle of absinthe"
implying he needed strong, mildly hallucinogenic alcohol to cope?

Edit: what you need there is an Oxford Comma.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Point of order:
The 'Absinthe' of today contains no wormwood and is thus about as hallucinogenic as Fairy Liquid, which it fucking tastes of and looks like, coincidentally.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:34, Reply)
The power of suggestion these days
Ooh, I'm drinking Absinthe, I must act like a twat and see things.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:37, Reply)
Precisely.
Then go home and skin up a few banana skins.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)
hahah
i remember some fat kid at school, trying to cook up banana skins
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:45, Reply)
You remember this because that kid was you.
Come on, admit it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:53, Reply)
*eyes bananas on desk wistfully*
I was never fat
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:58, Reply)
Sounds like you'll miss him.
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Nope, just been tired from being crook.
Monday has been cold and shitty. And wet.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:24, Reply)
You!
I keep missing you. I promise I'm not doing it on purpose. And I'm about to run away again now, as computers for the witless is jsut about to start.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:26, Reply)
You big anti-social bugger.
it's okay! I figured it was something like that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Well it's very admirable that you're able to confront the, ah, challenges of your ancestry,
but seeing as you're now 'tired' of being a 'crook' I think it's great that you can now 'break the mould' and 'go straight'.

Well done you. We're right behind you - it won't be easy but it's the right thing to do.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Out of interest
what temperature is "cold"?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:41, Reply)
It can get down to 3 or 4 degrees centigrade.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Where Poppet is, or in general?
I imagine it'd get colder the further south you'd go, but isn't Australia bigger than Europe?

My geography gets a little hazy as you head towards the Orient and by the time you get to New Holland and Van Diemen's Land, I'm not much better than a 16th Century map.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:46, Reply)
wrinkly and smelling of mould
and with important bits missing?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:50, Reply)
yeah.... I live about as far south as you can go on mainland australia.
Tomorrow's supposed to be 11 degrees. If it wasn't windy, I wouldn't mind, but the wind comes straight up from the antarctic and it's fucking ICY.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:51, Reply)
Put a jumper on.
JEFF QUICK, I'm sure there's something you want to say about Australia and jumpers?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:53, Reply)
Sounds rather pleasant to me, I'll be honest.
As a depths-of-winter temperature, that's rather nice. Chilly, but not freezing.

It's a shame your country is such a cunt to try and move to.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 10:54, Reply)
You're telling me.
it's hard to move from too.
I like the winter when it's not windy, but when it is, it's really cold enough to make boobs ache. Not joking.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Can I request you keep your Masterchef Australia facebook things to a minimum
I'm a little behind in watching it and I've just glimpsed something you commented on that may have spoilt it for me a little ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:10, Reply)
Oh golly sorry!
I rarely post stuff about it there. I hardly watch it and then my friend put that up and I was just as surprised as you!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:26, Reply)
it's ok :-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:29, Reply)
Masterchef Australia?
Surely there's only so many ways you can barbecue a snag?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:30, Reply)
yeah, that's all it is about

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:35, Reply)
OOHHHH
HOKEY KOKEY KOKEY
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Masterchef Britain?
Surely there's only so many ways you can have your chips?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:37, Reply)
All the rock'n'roll cheating love rat celebrity chefs are British these days.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:38, Reply)
from watching Masterchef Australia
I have learned that there are loads of much better chefs all over the rest of the world.

And they aren't all tossers like the good ones here. Except Heston. He seems alright for a ginger.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:43, Reply)
become an engineer
they practically beg you to move there if you are an engineer.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Hi Vips, how's the lodger?
i guess he hasn't murdered you yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:14, Reply)
barely seem him
he's only been in 3 nights.

I was listening to him having difficulty locking the front door last night. He's not the first person to have trouble. They are all retards.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:16, Reply)
Does he share your kitchen and living room?
I'd hate that
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:18, Reply)
he doesn't cook. eats microwave stuff, or things that don't need cooking
he's not been in the living room though.

He arrived at about quarter to midnight last night, left for work before me or the mrs were up this morning. He'll be back at about half 6, eat some food, then he'll sit in his room for the rest of the evening.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:22, Reply)
Sounds like a b3tan

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:23, Reply)
be weird if it turned out he was one

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:29, Reply)
I think I'd find sharing a bathroom more challenging

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:25, Reply)
why? it's not like we are in there at the same time.
the bottom line is, I'd rather not share my house with anyone, but I'm fucking skint because of the shitbag economy and I have no real choice in the matter. The guy isn't there at the weekend, he leaves before I'm awake and doesn't get in my way in the evening.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:27, Reply)
it's only a matter of time before this happens

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:33, Reply)
hahahaha
*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Hm, now be honest here,
would I have to do work in order to become one and then, once I had qualified, would I be expected to work afterwards?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:26, Reply)
yes, and yes.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:27, Reply)
Doesn't really sound like my cup of tea.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:29, Reply)
I didn't do a lot of work to become an engineer
and I haven't done much since either.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:30, Reply)
Interesting, I'm coming around to it.
What's the potential for making an ass-load of money by basically sitting around on my arse drawing pretty pictures and applying a few GCSE level principles?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:31, Reply)
you'd be hard-pressed to find an occupation that has such a poor "importance to salary" ratio

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:34, Reply)
You're not really selling this to me, Vippers.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:35, Reply)
I just suggested it as a way to be accepted into Australia
if I had my way I'd stop working in this field today and would never look back.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:37, Reply)
But the skills you would get as an engineer could be really useful.
Imagine if you sent to prison by a military court for a crime you didn't commit. You then promptly escape from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Maybe you could use these mad skills to help you earn a living as a soldier of fortune.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:39, Reply)
MacGyver's more my scene, really.
the lone operative, getting into scrapes, eating ice-cream and making rocket launchers out of racing bikes.

Then I'd spend a few years in celebrity wilderness before making a comeback by visiting other planets.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)
and you get to sport a mullet with impunity

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:42, Reply)
nah thanks.
loathe maths.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:28, Reply)
wasn't talking to you
you already live there!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:29, Reply)
oh. Yeah. Right. that makes sense.
Shut it you, I'm sick.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:34, Reply)
yeah you are

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:34, Reply)
You love it.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Jul 2011, 11:38, Reply)

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